Saturday night, after a splendid dinner at Zum Jungfrau, David and Maria walked through the quiet streets to the hotel. "This is such a tranquil setting, but all of Switzerland is." He pressed his hand against hers on his arm. "Heaven is a place in the mind, in the soul, but all of this certainly helps me picture the setting."

"You think this too?" She looked up into his face. "We often discussed this at home, how we make our own heavens through our thoughts and actions. We make our own hells also through hate and spite and malicious deeds. The choice is ours: to live in Heaven or to suffer a life of Hell. Kaiser Wilhelm seems to prefer Hell."

"I used to try to make sense of praying to imaginary beings to help me rather than helping myself. I soon saw through the idea of suffering here on earth so I could enjoy some mythical heaven later. When Father Bourgeois molested me, I began more seriously questioning the version of reality that the nuns and priests were forcing into our young minds."

"When was that – how old were you when he molested you?"

"Fourteen."

"So, two years before Sister Clemencia started using you."

"Closer to a year and a half. Guess I was fourteen and a half, then. Funny, he ranted chastity from the pulpit and used his celibacy as an example of pious living and honouring God."

"What of Sister Clemencia's attitudes? We've not talked of those."

"She seemed very confused. She professed religious piety and preached the mumbo-jumbo in class, but in her little convent room after school, her body gave other messages. We seldom talked of anything other than her guiding my actions."

"You didn't share thoughts?"

"She dismissed my questions – seemed to ignore my comments. Our sessions became increasingly silent. Whatever her thoughts were, she kept them to herself, showing me well how to deny emotions."

"Denying emotions seems a quick way to Hell. Holding them inside, not allowing their expression or ..." She looked up as he moved a hand to her elbow. "Here already?"

He guided her up the steps to the hotel entrance. "I love the way you're so free to share what's on your mind and what's happening with your emotions. Allows me to move closely with you. Feel as a part of you."

"Mama has always said openness and sharing are signs of love and respect. Holding things back or keeping them inside denies our reality and demeans those around us."

"Wise words." He led her through the door and across the lobby to the desk for the key and then to the lift. They stood inside their room and hugged for a long while before he asked, "Dare we? It's near midnight, maybe too close to your fertility."

She pressed her mound onto his thigh and gently moved it. "I think it's still safe." She began unbuttoning his shirt. "If you impregnate me, there'll be something additional for you to come back to."

"I need nothing additional. You're far more than enough to draw me back." He gazed into her eyes. "Would you want that? You're still very young. You've a lifetime ahead."

"I've a lifetime ahead with you. With our children. Mama was nineteen when she had Jacob and twenty-one when she had me. Grandma was twenty when she had Mama. Their lives seem fulfilled."

"But your nursing training, your thoughts of continuing on into medicine? What of those? Caring for a child will hamper; likely prevent."

"We could get a nursemaid."

"How would you have liked growing up with a nursemaid and only occasionally seeing your mother? With the war, I might not be around often, if at all, during the child's early years. I wouldn't think that fair."

She nodded as she moved her hands to undo the buttons down the front of his trousers. "I love your wisdom. You always take the wider view and consider the consequences. Let's use our hands and mouths."

<><><>

David woke as the morning's first light began filtering through the sheers covering the windows of their room. Maria was still asleep in his arms, and he sighed as he held her closer. I'll miss this. God, will I miss this. She's a part of my being. I must be utterly daft to be thinking of leaving her. I wonder how many others would even consider this silliness, let alone be actually doing it.

She stirred in his arms. He caressed her back, and she moaned quietly and continued sleeping. There's still time for me to stop this. I don't have to go to the Embassy; we don't even have to go to Bern. We can enjoy Jungfrau then go back to Küsnacht, then return to Sonnenhang to help Tante Bethia with her new estate. Maria and I can have children, and I'll be able to care for them as she studies. Such a simple solution to this.

Maria stirred again, then kissed his shoulder and wriggled herself closer to him. "It feels so good to wake in your arms. You been awake long?"

"A few minutes. Just thinking of how much I love you."

"How much?"

"Still no words to quantify."

"Let me go pee, then you can show me a few hints." She giggled as she unwrapped from him.

Later, after breakfast, they spoke with the concierge to sort out the logistics of their day. "You could take the train to Lauterbrunnen, then the one up to Kleine Scheidigg. From there, the cog departs to Jungfraujoch. On the way down, you can take the train from Kleine Scheidigg to Grindelwald, then the one back to Interlaken. This is a very popular circuit, about four hours if you don't pause too long in each place. This time of year, the trains are frequent."

"It will be close to freezing up on the joch. How long is the stop there?"

"It's about fifteen minutes. If you wish to venture outside for a while, we have down jackets, hats and mitts you can rent."

Maria nodded. "That would be good. We could stay up there longer and wait a train. Is it possible to have a picnic basket packed?"

"Yes, certainly. Here are the three different lunches we offer." He pulled a page from his folder and turned it toward them. "They take twenty minutes to half an hour to prepare."

Shortly past noon, David and Maria sat on a sun-warmed granite slab in Jungfraujoch, enjoying their picnic with spectacular mountain vistas spread in all directions around them. "I've never been higher than Feldberg. This is more than twice as high and far beyond amazing. I've seen pictures from mountains but never dreamed of anything as stunningly beautiful as this."

"Another reason we should wait before having children. I'd love to take you climbing beyond places like this." He pointed to the ridge leading up Jungfrau. "Up mountains like that."

"We need to get this war over with. Get back to a peaceful world."

"I was thinking this morning as I lay waiting for you to wake. We needn't go to Bern. I needn't go back to the Army. They've likely listed me as dead by now. I can stay with you at Sonnenhang and carry on with life. Help Tante as she develops the estate."

Maria looked at him and smiled. "It would be so marvellous if you could stay, David. But you know you can't allow yourself to do that. You're not built that way. You'd destroy yourself if you tried."