It's the sound of Layla's fingernails tapping against my glass of juice that makes me blink out of my reverie.

"Damn, finally," she mutters when I finally look at her face to find her eyebrows pinched together. "Orbited the sun for a bit there, did you?" When I just give her a weak shrug in return and begin tracing the rim of the glass with the tip of my index finger only to pull back when I feel the cold seeping into my skin, she sets her arms on the dining table and leans in my direction. "I was asking if I could do your makeup today."

I see her eyes sparkling behind that curtain of nonchalance she's put forth for my sake, and raise my eyebrows. "That... depends."

She tilts her head and stares at me expectantly, tucking escaped locks of hair behind her ear and batting her eyelashes at me. "On?"

Reaching out to poke her in the middle of her forehead with my middle finger, I stick my tongue out at her when she lets out an annoyed whine. "On what you're planning in that tiny, tiny brain of yours."

On a different day, I wouldn't question her and reply with an enthusiastic yes. But now that she has been constantly stressing on how I should 'give Kaia something to stare at', I don't trust her to not doll me up like I have a photoshoot in fifteen.

("You're oblivious as hell, Imani. She wants to rail you."

"Oh, my God, Layla, do you ever think before you speak? Shut up.")

"Okay, first of all my brain is as fat as my ass," she says, eyes wide and completely serious. When I stare at her with an unimpressed expression on my face, she adds, "Say my ass is fat, Imani."

"I will not."

"But you know it is."

"Can we stop talking about this? I don't care how big of a bahookie you—"

"Whoa, whoa," interrupts a voice and both Layla and I turn to find a scandalized looking Ved standing near the door. "What did I just walk in on?"

"Imani using the word 'bahookie' with her entire chest?" Layla suggests while I already begin to move on from the conversation, taking another gulp of my juice and hoping I don't throw it up later.

It feels impossible right now, considering I feel like the twinge of discomfort in my stomach should make an audible noise with how it seems to echo inside my body. But I've already said yes to Sean for the duet with Ved and since there's no way I'm backing out of this and ever letting myself disappoint Sean on purpose, I instead think of scenarios where I end up like Aubrey from Pitch Perfect when she's under pressure.

I reluctantly down the rest of it and distractedly tell Ved and Layla that I'm going back to my room, though I doubt either of them are paying attention to me in the midst of their very important conversation about who has the biggest butt in the house.

But they aren't the only ones not paying attention. Because my phone rings just as I'm closing the door behind me, a distorted version of Never Gonna Give You Up unexpectedly blasting from the speakers and making me jump. Then I grunt in annoyance, the realization that Juni messed with my ringtone yet again settling inside my head a second after.

I make my way to the bed where my phone is, and my expression immediately melts into one of surprise when I see the name of the caller flash on the screen.

"Kaia?"

Immediately embarrassed because of the way her name comes out like a question, I bite my tongue and think, Idiot. Who else would be calling from her phone?

"Imani, hi!" It's the first time I'm hearing her voice over the phone and I try not to let the slight rasp in her tone get to me. And fail only two seconds later when I feel it reverberate in my chest and warm my cheeks. "I'm sorry if I sound like I'm in a rush, but I'm at work and there's something really important I needed to talk about."

Frowning a little at the obvious urgency in her voice, I sit down at the edge of the bed. "I'm listening."

"I asked Juni to send me your performance videos a while ago and I finally watched them last night." I barely have the time to register the hitch in my breath before she continues. "And I was honestly stunned by how good all of you are. Have you guys sent any demos around yet?"

I swallow the lump of nervousness in my throat down. "Not... for a while now, I think."

"Ah." She sounds relieved, and I don't have to wonder why for long. Instead, the confusion is immediately replaced by speechlessness when she tells me, "I work for Abyss." The... Record Label. No wonder she doesn't have to ask me whether I know what that is or not. A musician that doesn't know about Abyss Records is no musician at all. Kaia works for fucking Abyss. Of all the companies in the world. The size of her house suddenly makes sense. "And one of the producers is a really, really good friend of mine." With my breath held, I wait for her to continue. "So I brought LM up this morning and got her to watch some of your stuff. Performances where you did originals."

It's a wonder that the phone doesn't slip out of my hold at that.

"Kaia..."

My voice comes out a bit choked and ringed with disbelief, and she lets out a little huff of laughter on the other end.

"I know this might be overwhelming but... Imani, she wants to see more. Hear more. She thought you guys were fantastic."

"Oh, my God."

"I'm sorry about how sudden this is!" she says quickly, and I shake my head with a face-splitting grin as if she could see me. Only she would apologize after showering someone in blessings."And I really wish I could have brought this up in person. But there wasn't enough time and I assumed you were all busy preparing for the gig today."

"I... Y-You can't just—"

She laughs at my stutter, and it comes out breathless. Like she's just as excited as I am. "I know! I know! You can take your time to process this, I promise. We'll discuss the details later. I just wanted to ask if it would be okay for me to ask her if she could come with me today." Oh, God, I think, and then promptly blank out for a few seconds. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. "To see you guys. I think it would make an amazing first impression."

I'm already jumping to my feet and making my way out of the room, desperate to get the news out of me before I burst from it.

"God, you're asking me..." I mutter, and Kaia only laughs again when I almost run into a wall and curse out loud.

-

Later that day, only a few hours before the performance, when the excitement from what Kaia said has worn off and we're all buzzing from a whole different kind of elation, Juni quietly signals for me to follow them into their room while the rest of the band goes over everything we're going to need for today.

Before I can wonder what's got them so serious today, they reach behind their bed and pull out a white bag, holding it close to their chest as they walk over to me with a bashful expression on their face.

"So, uh..." They hold the bag out in my direction, and I take it with the hesitance I feel probably showing on my face. "I know you... don't like it when people buy you things but..." They shrug, making vague gestures with their hands, and this is the most timid I have ever seen them, if not the most awkward.

It feels so unlike them that a smile slips past my lips. Shaking my head, I open the bag to peek inside, mouth parting in surprise when my eyes fall on a familiar piece of clothing with black and white polka dots. "Oh, this is..." My words trail off as my hand reaches for the soft material. "You..."

"I saw you looking at this dress when we were—"

"Shopping for Sean's birthday," I finish, pulling the dress out and immediately feeling a knot in my throat when I see that it has been tailored, the once-sleeveless wrap dress now adorned with dark sheer bell sleeves.

"Yeah," they say, voice barely above a whisper. "If you don't like them," they add, pointing at the sleeves when they see me running my thumb along the neat seams, "we can get them altered again."

"No," I say quickly, holding the dress to my chest almost protectively and giving them a watery smile. "It's perfect. I love it so much. Thank you."

They smile, and I can see the mix of relief and adoration shining in their eyes.

"I'm glad," they say, and me too, I want to add, but all I do is smile again. Because I don't trust my voice to not crack right now.

I'm glad I have you in my life, I think.

"I'm going to wear it today," I say.

And I do.

It's a few hours later, when I'm sitting in front of a growing crowd with Ved complaining about how he can't ruffle my hair now that Layla has put it in a French braid ponytail.

I grin at his genuinely disgruntled expression, still conscious of the people around us but not so much that it shows on my face. Maybe it's because Layla had painted my lips a bright red and handed me heels that make me look at least four inches taller than I am if not more. Or maybe it's because Juni had gotten Ved to sing a horrible opera version of 'Look What You Made Me Do' half an hour before we left the house and I can't stop thinking about how hard it had made Sean laugh.

My guitar is a grounding weight on my lap, and Ved's assuring smile in my direction is an anchor tied to my feet.

I'm still scared and my fingers tremble just a little over the strings as I get in position, but one look at my perfectly manicured nails reminds me that today—just for today—I can pretend that I'm nothing but yet another pretty girl with a pretty voice to all of these people.

It's a role that I have to play, a role that gets easier when Ved nudges me and gestures in the direction of the barstools to the left.

And there she is, of course, the girl I've wrote songs about and then crumpled them until it was easier to pretend that the words never existed. Her dark hair is wavy and parted from the side, an airy smile dancing upon her lips when her sparkling eyes meet mine. Absentmindedly, I register another woman by her side, but just for today, I allow myself to stare.

While she stares right back, my foot taps four times to the beat before my fingers find the familiar strings and paint the dark air of the bar with the very first notes of a song I wish I could call mine.

-

look of life
the birds are out again
i can feel a change upon the wind
the color of the sky
and sound of the rain
coming down down down

i can tell
that you're the same as me
wanting to feel curious and free
life had locked me in
but you opened up the door
you opened up the door

seasons they change
gone away then back again
every sign i see is you
i'm tired of hiding how i feel
every sign is telling me it's real

-

a/n: i would like to announce that i am currently sleeping at 5am, waking up at 1pm, and befriending all the cats in the neighborhood. that is all. 

we made it past round 2! your love and support has been amazing and i hope all of you guys know that at the end of the day, what keeps me going is your encouragement. hope you're all taking care of yourselves!

thank you for reading <3

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total word count: 30138