[ original Get to Know Tag by evethespy, author of #1 short story Waffle Cones. go and check out her books guys she's lit af ☕✨ ]

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GET TO KNOW TAG WITH
leila, trevor, and sebastian

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1. Real name?

Leila: It is I, Queen E-lei-zabeth the 69th, the ruler of Fail-lei-ndia and everything in between.

Sebastian: Ignore her, she's just finished reading some aggresive daddy kinks on this cringy fanfic site called Wattpad, ew.

Leila: Excuse me, Wattpad is my second husband. . . . By the way, hi guys! Thank God I didn't die yet since 90% of you wanted me to. I'm Leila González, the Miss Delivery Girl from . . . er, Miss Delivery Girl.

Sebastian: I'm Sebastian Tanner, the cringiest fuckboy you'll ever met.

Leila: Trust me, you will never wanna read the Donald Trump fanfics. I had seen better days.

Sebastian: [ singing ] Because you know I'm all about that bass, bout that bas-stian, no tre-ble.

Trevor: Mr. Tre-ble is here for his revival.

Sebastian: What are you now? Selena Gomez?

Leila: TREVOR, I CAN'T BREATHE—

Trevor: Hey, Leila! Seb my bro and of course, fellow readers of MDG. Don't worry, we shall ask Trump to rebuild the fourth wall of this book.

Leila: HOW . . . HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?

Fury: I'm the author, dork. I can do anything I want to him.

Leila: Sensible.

Trevor: I'm Trevor Tanner, the embodiment of Prince Charming himself. Wink, wink.

Sebastian: You did not just say wink, wink while winking to our audience.

— SCENE CUT DUE TO TRAGICALLY NONSENSICAL CONTENT —

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2. What does your username mean?

Leila: My username shall remain a secret. It is hidden within the deep, dark chambers—

Sebastian: Of your pussy?

— SCENE CUT —

Trevor: I don't even know what Wattpad is. Is it some kind of biscuits?

Sebastian: I think it's the place where the orange community unites.

Leila: WATTPAD DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH DO—

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3. Fave Wattpad friends/mutuals?

Leila: OOOH, OOH! AH, AH!

Sebastian: What are you? Chimpanzee?

Trevor: I believe she's an e-lei-gant . . . monkey?

Leila: Shut up, both of you. I HAVE A FAV WATTPAD AUTHOR.

Sebastian + Trevor: Who?

Leila: He's a wildly flirtatious and sexualy attractive male writer from North Borneo. God, I can just kiss his books all day while reading them. He goes by the names of Prince Senpai, King of Kinks, and Jaguahr, but you all can call him tonight because why not?

Fury: [ zayns away ]

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4. First Wattpad friend?

Sebastian: Wattpad, Wattpad, Wattpad. What kind of tag is this?

Trevor: Should I sign up for Wattpad?

Leila: YES!

Sebastian: NEVER!

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5. Height?

Leila: Five feet five inches. Meh, not an issue.

Trevor: Shortie.

Leila: I AM NOT SHORT, TREVOR.

Trevor: You're never too short for me, baby. You're a skyscraper full of contemporary art.

Sebastian: Damn, Trevvie. Where did you learn this?

Trevor: I took a course on How to Sexual—

— OUT OF TOPIC. CUT! —

Sebastian: I'm six feet, I guess? Never took my measurings since graduation.

Trevor: Nah, he's a two-inch, just like his D. Ha!

Sebastian: WHAT THE F—

Trevor: I'm five feet eight inches, by the way. Someone I know has the same height as me [ winks at fury ]

Fury: Do not wink at me like that.

Sebastian: Chill, it's not like Trevor's going to explore Uranus tonight . . . or, will he?

Trevor: Hehehe. Insert Lenny Face meme here.

Leila: OKAY, YOU BOTH ARE CREEPY.

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6. Tattoos or piercings?

Trevor: Why would anyone have those?

Sebastian: WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOSE!

Leila: Seb, that meme died billion years ago. . . . I think tattoos and piercings are for elegance and fashion. I used to have them but I found them . . . extremely piercing.

Trevor: I'm so proud of my mami.

Sebastian: She's my mami, Trev. Anyways, I have a piercing on my booooootyyyyyyy!

Leila: WHAT?

Trevor: I'm—

Sebastian: I'm just teasing. Stop taking everything so seriously.

Trevor: Serious-lei? Oh, wait. No, it's Sirius-slay! Ba dum tss.

Fury: No, just no.

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7. Fav season?

Leila: Summer 'cause I gotta show them bitches these curves and twin hills, ha!

Sebastian: DEEZ NUTS, HA!

Trevor: Seb, just stop.

Sebastian: I like spring. Flowers . . . . tease my hormones.

Leila: EW, WHY DOES THAT SOUND . . .

Trevor: He has just invented flower kinks, I guess.

Leila: I'm guessing you're a winter snowball, Trevor?

Sebastian: EVERYTIME I HEAR THE LYRICS "WHY HAVE A BALLROOM WITH NO BALLS" IN FROZEN, MY MIND AUTOMATICALLY—

Leila: NOT NOW, MORON.

Trevor: Yeah, to me, winter is the definition of purity and emancipation. Speaking of winter, do you remember when I gave you that white frangipani, Leila?

Trevor: Ouch, touchy subject, isn't it?

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8. Last movie I watched?

Leila: I forced Sebastian to watch Fifty Shades of Grey.

Trevor: What?

Leila: Okay, okay. He forced me.

Trevor: WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?

Sebastian: Thought it might help awaken her beast mode for our honeymoon.

Leila: That's. Not. [ blushes ]

Trevor: I think the last movie I watched was your wedding day. It was a tear-jerker.

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9. Fav things about yourself?

Leila: Step aside, bitches. I hold the crown of Queen Savage.

Trevor: Lol, I bet my life that you're going to thrown off the throne in less than three seconds after you say it.

Sebastian: Trevor, you don't have a life anymore. . . . Oh, shit.

Trevor: MOVING ON. I'm an expert in pickup lines and overused puns so that's ten points to Gryffindor.

Sebastian: Wait, I thought you were Ravenclaw?

Trevor: I want Gryffindor.

Sebastian: TRAITOR! Just kidding. By the way, guys, my Hogwarts house is Slytherin so feel free to slither into my DMs anytime. [ winks ]

Leila: SEBASTIAN! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET SPANKED—

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10. Who do you tag?

Fury: Everyone who reads this, I guess. It's fun, but mine is completely nonsensical.

Leila: Are you saying that we are ridiculous?

Sebastian: Fury's face is even more ridicilous. Ha!

Fury: YOU DISGRACEFUL IMBECILES! I CREATED YOU. Oh, by the way, say goodbye to Trevor guys!

Trevor: WHAT? PAPI FURY, WHY YOU DO THIS—

[ Trevor disappears into the thin air. Poof! ]

Leila: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sebastian: That's it. We gon' hunt this evil serpent who wrote this book. How dare he killed Trevor off!

Leila: Turn on your locations, hoe. I'm coming for you.

Fury: Cum to me when you're ready, bichachos.

[ zayns away to hide inside my cave ]

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I am completely void of relevant humor. Sorry.