Song:
Your Best American Girl by Mitski


Chapter 8

Pagkatapos ng klase ay hindi ko na hinintay si Ariella. Pagkasabi ni Mrs. Mendoza na pwede na kami lumabas pagkatapos niya ipunin ang quiz paper namin, kinuha ko kaagad ang gamit ko at naunang lumabas.

Baka magbalak pa na ihatid ako sa sunod na klase si Eason!

Kinuha ko ang phone ko sa bulsa ko at tinawagan ulit si mommy. She didn’t answer my call earlier, it’s already four in the morning in the US and I know she’s already awake at this hour.

After a couple of rings, she finally picked up her phone.

“Tiffany,” simula ni mommy, bigla akong kinabahan, hindi ko alam bakit.

“Mom?”

“You called earlier?”

I nodded, even though I know she can’t see me. “Yes. But you didn’t pick up.”

“I was able to answer your call, and I heard everything…”

Nanigas ako sa posisyon ko. Nasa gitna ako ng hallway. Alam kong maya-maya lang ay nandito na si Ariella or sina Eason, maabutan nilang para akong na-estatwa sa gitna ng daan. Kinabahan ako sa sinabi ni mommy. She heard everything? I was trying to call her when Eason talked to me!

“What’s the name of the guy? I see you already have a suitor there… Hmm…” Mom said with mockery laced in her voice.

Namula ang mukha ko sa sinabi niya, I can deny it if I want to, but I wouldn’t. Narinig na nga niya! And she probably have every calls on her phone recorded. Ganiyan ka-sigurado ang mother ko.

“Mom…”

“What? I just want to say I’m happy for you. But I’m sad that you didn’t tell me. We talked yesterday.”

My hand went its way to my forehead, as I tried to calm my nerves down. Pulang-pula na ako, sigurado ako doon. I can’t even deny what my mom is saying to save me from the embarrassment.

Well, technically, Eason isn’t courting me. He just mentioned courtships, and that made my mom conclude that he is courting me.

“Mom, he’s—”

“He? Tell me the name, Tiffany. Tell me when should we visit the Philippines to get to know him.”

“Mom! You’re not going to the Philippines. This is nothing. He’s not courting me, and I’m not letting him!” natatarantang sabi ko.

They can’t meet him! Sino ba siya? Ni ako nga hindi ko talaga kilala si Eason!

“But why? You’re becoming more secretive, Tiffany… I—” my mom stopped, and I heard her sobbing from the other line.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko! If I tell my mom everything that has happened in the past days, starting from Eason and I’s weird encounter to his confession earlier, the time I had right now is not enough. Mahirap i-summarize ang lahat na nangyari sa araw na ito.

“I’m sorry, mom… I’ll talk to you later. I promise I will tell you everything. Just not now, because I’m in school.”

“Promise?” she said, her voice slightly lighting up.

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay, I’ll have to take a bath. I still haven’t finished eating my breakfast. Your dad is in his office. I’m not telling him anything until you tell me what’s going on in there.”

I sighed in relief. If mom is this overreacting, what more if dad finds out. He’ll go ballistic. Ang usapan ay pupunta ako ng Pilipinas para ayusin ko ang sarili ko, hindi para magpaligaw sa kahit kanino.

“Yeah, sure, mom. I’ll call you later.”

“Keep safe, Tiffany. I love you.”

“Was that your mom?”

Napatalon ako ng bahagya nang may magsalita sa likod ko. Lumingon agad ako doon at nakitang si Eason iyon! Just what I was expecting!

“None of your business. Stop being nosy,” sabi ko at inirapan siya.

“Ang sungit mo talaga,” he said while he has an amused grin in his face.

Hinarap ko siya at tumayo ako ng tuwid sa harap niya.

“Let me get this record straight, okay, Mr. Band Member?” sabi ko sa isang seryosong tono sa boses ko. Seryoso rin ang expression ko sa mukha, para seryosohin niya talaga ako.

He raised his thick, dark eyebrow at me and crossed his arms to his chest.

“I’m all ears, Miss Americana.”

Napapikit ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Why does everyone refer to me as Miss Americana? Ako lang ba ang may lahing American sa school na ito? I bet there are a lot of us in here! Ako lang lagi nakikita nila.

“I don’t know what are your intentions, but I don’t want to be involved in it. Leave me alone,” sabi ko at muli siyang inirapan.

Imbes na sumunod o matakot, mas lumiwanag ang amusement sa mukha niya. Nainis naman ako doon. Hindi talaga ako siniseryoso ng taong ito!

“I want to court you. I want to date you. I want to be with you. My intentions are unadulterated, and clear, Tiffany.”

“You can’t seriously think of those things right away! We just met!” nanlalaki na ang mata ko habang sinasabi sa kaniya iyon.

I held on to his shoulders as I shake him a bit. Ramdam ko ang parang kuryente na dumadaloy sa akin, pero hindi ko ito inisip pa. I continue shaking him, thinking I’ll knock some sense into him.

“I don’t know if you understand the logic of romance, Tiffany. I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way towards you too. They say love moves in mysterious ways,” he said shrugging, not removing my hands in his shoulders.

“I don’t know if you also understand the difference between like and love! You said you like me, and here you are, preaching me about love!” naiinis na sabi ko sa kaniya at padabog na binawi ang kamay ko.

Tumingin ako sa paligid at nakitang may iilang tao nalang. Tumitingin sa amin, at nang makitang nakatingin ako sa kanila at unintentionally na masama ang tingin ko ay umaalis sila. Tumingin ako sa wrist watch ko at nakitang limang minuto na akong huli sa klase ko!

Again! And it was all because of Eason, again! Wala talagang magandang dulot ang lalaking ito sa akin.

“That’s the point. I don’t even know if I like you or I love you…” he said and before I can lash out, he spoke again. “Sorry if I’m coming off too strong. If I don’t tell you all of these, I will be bothered. I’m not sugarcoating my words, Tiffany. I’m just telling you what I feel.”

I calmed myself down. Ayaw kong gumawa ng scandal dito sa hallway at baka ma-guidance office pa kami parehas. We’re both graduating students, we cannot afford any bad records.

“Be honest, okay?” nanghihinang sabi ko. He nodded slowly, his grin is nowhere to be found now.

“When has this started?” Because if this was long ago, I might believe him, but we just met days ago, so he can’t blame me if I don’t believe a single word that comes out from his lips.

He looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. Sinundan ng mata ko ang mukha niya, and it didn’t take much effort kasi matangkad siya, titingin lang ako pataas sa kaniya ay kita ko na ang mukha niya. Matangkad din naman ako, pero mas matangkad siya. I’m assuming that he’s 188 centimeters tall. Pasadong-pasado maging basketball player.

Naging curious naman ako kung naglalaro siya ng basketball…

“When we bumped into each other,” sabi niya at nag-angat ng tingin sa akin.

At napansin ko ang pamumula ng mukha niya. Hindi ko alam pero napangiti ako nang makitang parang teenager na nagbublush siya.

“You’re blushing!” I exclaimed, giggling a bit.

His eyes widen at what I said and avoided my gaze.

“No, I’m not. It’s just hot in here,” he said, now fanning himself using his hands.

I nodded, but not convinced. Nakakatuwa makita siyang magblush. It’s so pure for me.

Back to what I was saying…

“I also want to apologize if I’m being too rude,” panimula ko.

Mas lalo naman siyang nagulat at ngayon ang tingin niya ay bumalik sa akin. His eyebrows furrowing in curiosity.

“You don’t need to apologize for defending yourself, Tiffany. I understand if I’m becoming weird and too much.”

Is he really too much and coming off too strong for me?

I guess not. I’m just uncomfortable of all the attention that I am getting. Maybe if I don’t have the intense dislike of people having their eyes on me, I would have entertained him… After all, I had boys lining up to me before.

“Still, I’m sorry. I’m just not used to people seeing me,” partly true.

He smiled at me and I like to think it was really genuine. I don’t see anything behind the smile, not even sadness underneath it. It was pure.

“So, is it okay if I court you then?”






Are courtships still a thing?

Thoughts of what happened the past week lingered in my mind. I can’t shake it off. Midterms are just right in the corner, but I’m busy thinking about Eason and our little conversation last week.

We never got to talk again. The last time we met was… I think it was 3 days ago. He said he was busy with all the projects and their thesis. He asked for my number but I didn’t gave it to him.

I was about to! He was asking for it but when I was about to write it down for him, his bandmates interrupted us, because they have to talk to their professor.

Better luck next time, Eason.

I never replied to his question… If he can court me. Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko, kung pwede ba para sa akin o kung ayaw ko. After talking with him made me realize a lot of things.

One, he wasn’t that cocky than I thought he is. Two, he’s gentle. Lastly, he’s actually really really tall and handsome as hell.

So my opinion of him changed a bit. Yes, he come off as strong before, but…

I don’t know! I don’t trust him enough. I only know his name and his reputation in this school. He’s not a womanizer, and a jerk though. He’s second to the most kindest of the three, and Camdem was the most cocky, arrogant, and the ultimate playboy of the three. Rocket was the serious type, but he’s definitely the best of the three.

These are all based from what I’ve heard from people and from Ariella. Ariella has been one of my leading source of information in this school.

At sabi pa niya ay kung may iiwasan ako sa tatlo, si Camdem iyon. Baka pati raw ako ay madali ng lalaki.

As if!

Vacant namin sa mga oras na ito. Nasa canteen ang lahat, kasama ko si Ariella at Riley. May minor subject na kasama siya namin ngayon dapat. Kaso hindi naman ako maka-relate sa pag-uusap nila kaya tumayo ako at napansin agad nila ang ginawa ko.

“Where are you going?” tanong ni Ariella sa akin nang mapansin ang pagtayo ko.

I shrugged. “Anywhere. I’m kind of bored.”

“We’re waiting for the girls. Do you mind if we tag along later?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just going to explore this building,” I told them.

Ariella grinned and looked up at me.

“You’re just going to Eason’s room, aren’t you?” she accused with a sheepish grin.

Namula agad ako dahil sa akusa niya sa akin. Hindi ko nga alam kung saan ang room nila, hindi ko rin alam ang schedule niya!

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, Ariella,” sabi ko nalang at nagpaalam na.

Hindi ko talaga alam kung saan ako pupunta. I was true to my words, I’m going to explore this building. Malawak ang university na ito kaya hanggang sa building lang namin ang na-eexplore ko. And I don’t have much time for exploring because we have a lot of activities and assignments. May Practical Research pa kami.

Hindi ko alam kung saan na ako dinala ng paa ko. Agad na nagliwanag ang mata ko nang makita ang isang pintuan na may nakasabit na sign at nakasulat doon ay Music Studio.

Agad na pumasok sa isip ko na ito ang studio kung saan nagrerecord ang Tenth Avenue. Walang dalawang isip na pumasok ako doon.

At tama ang pakiramdam ko. Walang tao sa loob. I know it because everyone is busy. Kami lang ata ang nagkaroon ng vacant time.

It was a very clean studio. Sobrang daming instruments at medyo malamig. Nakabukas ang aircon kaya pakiramdam ko may tao dito kanina.

Pero wala pa naman sila…

Dinampot ko ang gitara na nakalagay sa stand at tiningnan kung naka tono iyon sa standard tuning. Nang marinig na tama nga ay sinabit ko ang strap sa akin at nagsimulang mag-strum.

Ang unang chord ay A major, at sumunod ang D major, E major at ang pinakahuli ay ang ang F sharp.

“If I could, I’d be your little spoon and kiss your fingers forevermore. But, big spoon, you have so much to do and I have nothing ahead of me,” simula ko sa pagkanta habang patuloy lang sa pagtugtog ng gitara.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa dinami-daming kanta na alam ko ay ito pa napili ko. But it’s one of my favorites, though!

“You’re the sun, you’ve never seen the night. But you hear its song from the morning birds. Well, I’m not the moon, I’m not even a star. But awake at night I’ll be singing to the birds… Don’t wait for me, I can’t come.”

“Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me. But I do, I think I do. And you’re an all-American boy. I guess I couldn’t help trying to be your best American girl.”

Kakantahin ko na sana ang verse two nang may pumalakpak mula sa likod ko kaya napatalon ako ng bahagya at tumigil din. Hindi ako agad humarap dahil nahihiya akong makita nito ang mukha ko.

“That was amazing, Tiffany! I didn’t know you sing like a pro!” sabi ng pamilyar na boses sa likod ko.

Nang mapagtanto ko kung sino iyon ay humarap na ako. Eason was leaning against the closed door while looking at me with much amazement in his eyes.

Tinanggal ko ang gitara mula sa pagkakasabit sa akin at binalik ito sa lagyanan niya, kung saan ko ito kinuha.

Hinarap ko si Eason habang nag-iinit ang pisngi ko. Bakit hindi ko narinig ang pagpasok niya? Nakakainis!

“That was nothing… I’m leaving,” sabi ko, hindi siya matingnan ng diretso.

Palapit na ako sa kaniya para sana makalabas sa pinto pero pinigilan niya ako.

“Why are you shy? You have a nice voice. You sound like a mature Taylor Swift with a deep voice. If you know her…”

I nodded, but still not looking at him in the eyes. “I know her.”

“Why are you in a hurry to leave? Calm down,” he said, chuckling.

I sighed. Bakit nga ba? Ano pa ang magagawa ko, nakita na niya at napakinggan ako. Ano pa ang kinakahiya ko. At isa pa, hindi na iba si Eason sa akin.

“Sorry,” I said while my lips are fighting the urge to pout. What the fuck!

Umalis siya sa pagkakasandal sa pintuan at lumapit siya sa kung saan ang pwesto ko kanina. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin, ngayon ay ako naman ang naka pwesto sa may pintuan at siya ang nasa pwesto ko kanina habang natugtog.

“Let’s sing together.”