Song:
Friend by Gracie Abrams

Chapter 1

“I just called to say good bye…”

Pigil hininga ako habang pinapakinggan ang voice message ng… kakilala ko.

It was official. My parents had enough of my social phobia. It isn’t really a phobia, but they act like it is one. I just don’t like socializing with other people because it is frightening. Natatakot ako na baka ma-attach ako sa isa at mababasura ako.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to visit you in the Philippines once I graduate and have my own money. You know my dad doesn’t let me use his money for travelling…”

The tears that I was trying to stop from falling finally made its way out of my eyes and into my cheeks. See… This is the main reason that I don’t want to have friends or even talk to a person. I can get emotionally attached, and my parents don’t understand that fear I have.

“Please stay safe. You won’t really have a hard time in the Philippines since you already know their language,” she laughed but it sounded too sad that I almost paused the voice message.

“I tried… I tried, Tiffany. I always wanted to be your friend. I tried to help you get over your fear. I was happy that you are finally talking to me, I thought that was it… But I was shocked to hear that you were already leaving tomorrow. Without even informing me.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. Pinatay ko ang cellphone ko at huminga ng malalim. Pinunasan ko agad ang pisngi ko na may luhang dumadaloy. Pinilit kong tumayo at ipagpatuloy ang pag-iimpake.

I didn’t want to go the Philippines while carrying this kind of condition. But my parents think going to somewhere unfamiliar to me would be good.

They tried taking me to a therapist, but I refused. Alam ko naman na wala akong sakit sa utak. I just didn’t like the idea of being heartbroken in the end.

Honestly, their first choice is Japan, but I suggested that the Philippines would be good to me as I already learned their language like a pro.

But we made a deal. I want to deal with my own problems. I want to venture out and learn new things.

Tagalog is not the only language I learned, though.

I don’t have any Filipino blood in me so it was really a struggle. But after a few months, I speak Tagalog like an actual Filipina.

“The flight will take 16 hours or less. You better have something to kill the boredom, later,” paalala ni daddy sa akin at tumango naman ako.

“I will bring a book,” sabi ko habang napili na sa mga libro ko na nasa shelf lang.

My parents will accompany me to the Philippines to process my university requirements. Since I will be living in the Philippines, they will also enroll me for my 2nd year in senior high school. It will be really hard for me. Since I don’t know anyone and I’m afraid of what they will think of me.

I was staring at the mirror for I don’t know how long. I was looking at my blonde hair. This will really catch the eyes of many students. Filipinos have black and brown hair colors.

I don’t know what to expect. I have nothing in my mind except for all the fear I am feeling.

I don’t know if anyone would talk to me. I don’t know if anyone would ever like someone like me. I don’t look like someone popular or anything. I’m just an average young adult with personal issues.

But, no matter what happens. I am determined to do my best and get over this so I could go home, back to New York.

“I’m going to sleep for 16 hours, please don’t wake me up,” pikit na sabi ko habang hinang hina na kinakapa ang door knob sa kwarto ko sa suite namin nila daddy at mommy.

“But you’ll get hungry. We’ll wake you up when it’s time for dinner,” I heard my mom said.

Pero natumba ako. Naiinis naman akong nanatiling nakahiga at nakapikit parin. I heard my mom and dad laughed at my situation. Hindi ko mabuksan ang pinto!

“You’re silly, Tiffany…” I heard my mom said and I heard my door clicked.

Tumayo agad ako at kinapa ulit ang pinto ko at nakabukas na iyon ngayon. I don’t care anymore, I just want to sleep for a thousand years. No one told me that flights can be tiring!

I didn’t even bothered to change clothes. I was still wearing the same outfit I wore when I left the U.S. It’s unhygienic and disgusting, but no one’s gonna smell me from my room!

At nang mahanap ko na ang kumportableng pwesto sa kama ay pakiramdam ko ngayon lang ako nakakuha ng isang mahimbing at masarap na tulog.

Nagising nalang ako na may humahalog na sa akin at pinapalo pa ako sa pwet.

“Wake up, Tiff! We’re going out and explore a few places,” sabi ng taong gumigising ako, and it’s my mom.

“Explore without me, mom. I’m sleepy,” inaantok na sabi ko at hinila ang kumot.

But my mother pulled it away from me.

“Tiffany.”

Her voice sounded serious and it was my queue to listen to her. I won’t like it when my mother is mad, she would confiscate my phone.

Yes, she still has that authority over me even though I’m already a young adult.

“Give me 5 minutes to prepare.”

“Over here, Tiffany. Smile!” I didn’t even got the chance to pose, she clicked her camera right away.

“Mom, there’s too much people. Not here please…” I whispered to her while looking at the people around us.

A few people were already looking at us. I don’t even know where we are, but it was so weird to see… Different people? It was really foreign for me.

“Why not here? Come on, now…” She said and her camera flashed to my direction again.

My father was just grinning and following my mom. We are basically just following her. She’s the boss of us and we can’t complain.

“Quit laughing, dad. Mom, dad will be posing for a pic!” Pag pahamak ko sa father ko.

Knowing dad, he’s afraid of mommy. Plus, we both hate taking pictures.

Because I believe that capturing everything with your own eyes will be more memorable than snapping a picture. Your own eyes will never deceive you from what’s real and true if you use them.

Madami pa kami pinuntahan. Surprisingly, malamig ang gabi sa Pilipinas. I always thought that the Philippines would be a big giant microwave country. I have heard how hot it is here, but for me it’s okay.

Being in the Philippines— finally, is very overwhelming to me. It didn’t really sink into me yet. I’ll be living here for days, months, years or even maybe a whole decade. Not until I learn how to socialize better.

Although it has never occurred to me that I’m finally living in the country that I have been wanting to visit, I am starting to feel that I’ll last here.

I just wish I wouldn’t feel homesick after my parents leave me alone in this country.

“Sleep early, okay? Tomorrow we’ll be going to your new university so that we can sign you up,” my mom said as she kisses me in the forehead.

Ngumiti ako at tumango nalang. She hugged me and left me alone in my room.

Ngayon ko lang rin naisip na masusubukan ko na ang galing ko sa pag Tagalog. I will finally talk with actual Filipinos. I’m wishing that I won’t embarrass myself. Of course, I still don’t know any deep Filipino words. I only know the basics, I also don’t know the usual terms they use these days.

I was still overthinking until I fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I went straight to my room’s bathroom and did my morning routine.

“Eat a lot. This will be a long day. We’re also going to look at some dormitories or any apartment for you today. You can’t stay in this hotel forever,” my mom said while stirring her rice.

Rice. One of the Philippines main food. In the US, we don’t really need rice, we use rice sometimes but it is very rare to see a household with a sack of rice with them. But in the Philippines, it will only be considered as Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner if there’s cooked rice in the table.

I am sure that I won’t be experiencing any major culture shock because I have been prepared for this moment. I didn’t expect that I’d be living here but I always wanted to visit this country, I always love it here, that’s why I learned their language and a bit of their culture. But I will surely be confused about so many things.

Sa baba ng hotel kami kumakain, natutuwa ako sa mga Filipino dish na nasa menu na muntikan ko na piliin kanina ang lahat. Mom made us choose three dishes only. We chose the famous Sinigang na Baboy, Adobong Manok, and Pork Sisig. I have been dreaming of tasting these three dishes and my taste buds are jumping in the excitement.

“I love sisig!” my dad said while savoring the sisig in his mouth.

Me and my mom laughed at him. I knew he would love it. I just knew it.

“Spare us some, dad!” Nagtatawang sabi ko habang naglalagay ng kanin sa plato ko.

“Order yours,” dad said, and I glared at him playfully. He looked at my mom and said, “Can you learn this at YouTube, please cook me sisig when we get home, please?” He begged my mom, giving her the cute big eyes.

My mom rolled her eyes and grimaced at my dad.

“I don’t think it’s that easy, darling.”

“I trust in your cooking! You rule the kitchen!” He said and I faked like I was choking to tease my dad.

“You are only saying that because you need something! You always tell me that mom’s cooking could use a little more salt,” pang-bubuking ko sa father ko.

Nagtuloy pa ang asaran namin hanggang sa natapos na kami kumain. We all went and ride a bus. I am seeing a lot of jeepneys and I told my mom that we should ride one of those, but she told me that those jeepneys won’t go to the way that we are going.

I don’t know how my mom got the hang of this commuting part, but she’s a mother. Mothers always knows what to do, surprisingly. I don’t know how they do that.

After the bus, we had to take another ride. It was a tricycle!

“We should have rented a car,” my dad said in a bored face.

“Dad, this would be fun!” I said while looking at the whole of the strange three-wheeler vehicle in front of me.

“Boss, sa likod ko ikaw,” the driver said.

My parents looked at him weirdly. I laughed at their reaction. They can’t understand Filipino language, it’s a good thing that they have me!

“He said that dad should sit beside him, there…” turo ko sa likod na upuan ng driver.

“Pasensya na, me no inglis,” sabay tawa. Tumawa lahat ng mga katulad niyang driver, pati ako natawa. Ang hindi natawa ay ang magulang ko.

“Mukhang nakakaintindi naman ‘yung bata, kaya mo ‘yan!” Pang-aasar sa kaniya ng kasamahan niya.

“Please tell me if someone is already cursing at me, Tiffany,” bulong sa akin ni daddy at natawa naman ako.

Me and mom helped him get on the ride at the driver’s back. I even teased my dad that the vehicle would break because of his weight.

Me and my mom sat inside of the vehicle.

The ride was very bumpy! I wasn’t overreacting, but I think several bumps are already forming in my head. I was looking at my father at the backseat of the vehicle from time to time to see if he’s still there. I was thinking that he’ll slip off.

“Here,” my mom gave the driver a yellow bill, which is a 500 peso bill. It’s 9.69 dollars in the US currency.

“Hala, wala akong panukli, unang pasahero ko kayo!” The driver said while looking at the 500 peso bill that my mom is trying to give him.

“Why is he not taking it? What did he said, Tiffany?” Mom asked while she was trying to offer the bill.

“He said that he doesn’t have change for that…”

“Oh! How much is the fare, though?” Mom asked.

Humarap ako kay kuya na gulong-gulo na nakatingin sa amin.

“Magkano po ba ang pamasahe?” Tanong ko at mukhang nagulat pa siya sa pag Tagalog ko.

“Ah, trenta lang, miss,” he said after recovering from the realization that I can also speak Tagalog fluently, I don’t just understand their language.

Humarap naman ako kay mommy. “He said it’s only 30 pesos, mom.”

“I don’t have any bills lower than a 500 peso. Tell him that he can take the 500. He can keep the change,” mom said, and it made me smile.

“Kuya, sa ‘yo na raw po ang 500. Keep the change nalang po,” magalang na sabi ko.

I swear that I almost saw his eyes turned into hearts when he heard what I said. He started saying thank you over and over while receiving the money from my mom.

“I hope that’s the last time we’ll ride that contraption. I almost fell off the seat!” Dad keeps on complaining while we were walking to the university.

“Sorry to disappoint you, dad, but I think we’ll need to ride that contraption again on the way back,” I informed him.

“That vehicle can really cause death,” he acted like he was shivering.

I laughed at that and shook my head.

“The vehicle can cause death if the passenger is stupid like you!” My mom told him.

I was really laughing hard at them. Dad was convincing mom that the ride was terrible and that we shouldn’t ride it again or else we’ll lose him.

My mom didn’t buy it. We all know that we really need to ride a tricycle again.

It was a good day. I wish that it would be in the following days…