Misguided and Then Some

I pushed the overhead buzzer and waited, staring out my tiny widow at the vast expanse of water below.

"What can I help you with, sir?" The attractive attendant asked, leaning down toward me, perfectly manicured fingers resting on the seat back.

"All that water? Why are we flying over water from Toronto to Vancouver? I know we pass over the Great Lakes but that's not what that is."

"Our route is over the ocean due to governmental necessities. This flight is to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "

"What! No! No I have a ticket for Vancouver!" I found my ticket folder and handed it to her. "It says Vancouver!"

She calmly removed the ticket and boarding pass, studying them silently. A tiny frown marred the perfect forehead and she excused herself with a smile and hurried toward the stewards' lounge. I looked back down and felt panic rising in my chest.

"Mister Hayward, I'm the co-pilot, Andrew Forrester, it seems there has been a series of errors regarding your ticketing. Can you tell me, did you make these arrangements yourself?"

"Yes but what do-?"

"Through an agent or personally through the airport kiosk?"

"In the airport. One of you machi-"

"Aaaah" A meaningful look at the attendant. "Sir, your ticket is fine. Everything correct . . . but it seems the machine produced the incorrect boarding pass. Did you read it?"

"Uh- well just the gate number- I assum-"

"This is a strange one indeed. The boarding pass is also correct- for this flight but it doesn't match your ticket."

There was a brief huddle between the two airline personnel and then the co-pilot turned back.

"Uh- sir, what we can do is upon reaching our destination we can arrange for you to be routed to Vancouver. Now there might be some delays finding available flights but the airline will put you up in a hotel for as long as necessary to arrange the flights required for Vancouver. All this will be complimentary."

"I only have a week, how long-?"

"That will depend upon what arrangements can be made, sir. Meanwhile allow Linda to make your flight with Sea-Air as comfortable as possible. Whatever you need, sir, our compliments." Spiel finished, Co-pilot Andrew Forrester zipped back to the flight deck, bolting the door no doubt.

"So what can I do to help us forget this little incident? A drink? Some nuts?"

Help us? Incident? Linda leaned against the seat back, her smile almost predatory, waiting for my reply.

"Yeah, a double bloody Caesar, extra salt on the rim."

"And nuts? Crackers?

I felt like a parrot on the verge of rattling her cage but she patted the seat back, spun on her pretty heel and waltzed down the aisle. The water below sparkled in silver flashes between the puffy clouds and I thought about Doreen waiting in Vancouver arrivals, meeting the plane with me not on it. I was a dead man.

This whole trip was arranged so we could have time together for working through any doubts before saying yes to the big M . . . marriage. It wasn't the actual act of wedding, it was about Doreen quitting her lucrative job to move east so I wouldn't have to quit mine- even more lucrative.

"Would you lower your table please, Mister Hayward?" Linda waited, smiling with her white pearl teeth perfectly aligned.

I lowered the table and leaned back as she placed my giant bloody Caesar and a salad bowl of mixed nuts in front of me.

"Anything else while I'm here . . .?"

I gnawed the inside of my cheek raw. "No- thanks, that's fine."

"Well you just push that little buzzer if you want anything else." This time the fingers trailed slowly over the seat back.

I watched her drift back down the aisle. Doreen had taken time off for this visit. I was a dead man. I sucked the salt off the rim and swallowed most of the spicy liquid in one gulp.

***

"Mister Hayward? Mister Hayward. We're making our approach to Ft. Lauderdale, please put your tray table up and fasten your seat belt."

My eyes jerked open and widened at the sight of Linda's face inches from my own. The manicured hand was resting on my shoulder and it squeezed slightly as she moved on down the aisle checking passengers. I watched the plane touch down and race along the tarmac to the arrivals gate; the weather looked sunny and warm- perfect for my sweaters and long sleeve shirts.

Linda stopped by my seat again and told me I was to wait until everyone had deplaned and then I would go with her to the terminal manager's office and get this little fuss sorted out. Again- little fuss!

***

I had never seen so many backsides being covered as I did in the offices of SeaAir. Hospitality oozed like tree sap from the providers while at the same time quaking over the prospect of a massive law suit. So, sitting in my ultra modern corner tower suite with the king bed, guest room and stunning view of the marina and ink blot shaped pool, I waited anxiously for Doreen to answer her phone.

"Doreen! Oh man am I ever glad I got you. You aren't going to-"

"That's right, Matthew I'm not going to. I spent nearly a whole day and night waiting for you, sitting in airport offices while dozens of people tried to locate you and not so much as a phone call."

"I'm calling now; it's the first chance-"

"Wrong, Matthew! It was your last chance. I had to beg for this leave of absence and now I am sitting here with absolutely nothing to do.

"Doreen, if you would just let me-"

"I'll tell you what I'll let you do, Matthew; I'll let you say goodbye . . . for good!"

"Doreen? Dor-" She hung up and said goodbye for good! For good! I wandered dumbfounded out to the balcony, staring down at the pool and the lounges covered in sunbathers.

***

My news about not needing to reach Vancouver anymore sent ulcers rocketing. They would fly me first class back to Toronto, limo to my door and give me a lifetime pass to their VIP lounge, all of which I accepted after I had my week's vacation right where I was. They might have well let me sue for what this week was going to cost them. Everything was comped and I was going to abuse every opportunity; they had cost me my fiancé along with a very expensive ring and changed all my future plans.

***

I tipped my sunglasses up to see why I was suddenly in shade and found myself eye level with a pair of tanned, shapely legs. Looking higher, I saw Linda's perfect teeth smiling down at me.

"Did I push your buzzer?"

The smile became an amused chuckle as she sank onto the adjacent lounge delineating a mind boggling profile. "You might say that . . . Mister Hayward."

"Matthew."

"Matthew then."

"Is this the latest scheme to get me to change my mind?"

"Would it work?" One long leg bent up, drawing my attention.

"Only on how I might spend my afternoon."

"We could discuss it over lunch later." She massaged her thigh.

"I'm rather peckish now . . ."

***

"What a gorgeous view! I haven't been in this suite before."

That statement sort of confirmed my suspicions but then- what the hell- it was a gorgeous view and I took it all in as I went out to the balcony and joined her at the railing.

"Should I write a note for your bosses that in spite of the most remarkable endeavour I unfortunately have not changed my mind?" What idiot in his right mind would?

"Hmmm," she trailed those fingers over my arm, "I was given twenty-four hours."

I looked at my watch, doing some mental arithmetic. "Well I wouldn't want you going back with a doggie bag full of unused effort; how about dinner . . . later?"

The smile was almost evil.

***

The patio restaurant and bar was busy but getting a comfortable table was another perk and we sat under a large blue umbrella overlooking a small canal. Slim, well trimmed palms dotted the patio and the soft tinkle of guest's conversation and laughter drifted from the central bar cabana.

"I think I'm going to have to try and find that ticketing machine again when I get back home." I sipped my Caesar and sighed contentedly.

"Not going to try again with your fiancé?"

"Not much hope in tha-!" I sat bolt upright staring at the bar.

"What's wrong?"

"Her!" I croaked. "It's her!" I stumbled up out of my chair and wobbled across the patio.

She turned just as I arrived behind her and in utter shock we both screamed "YOU!" simultaneously.

"What are you doing here?" I yelled, my eyes jumping to the young man beside her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Doreen, I tried to tell you on the phone but you hung up. Why are you here, and who the heck is this?"

"I was on leave and your actions just made me want to get away." She held up a hand and my mouth clamped shut. "Todd was flying down and he invited me to join him to get over my emotional wounds and relax. He has his own plane."

"Todd! Just who is Todd with his own plane?"

"I'm Todd, I-"

"Never mind, I know who you are. That's not what I meant." I turned to Doreen again. "So all those lonely nights in Vancouver, pining for me and amassing that collection of emotional wounds, good old Todd with a plane found a landing strip- is that it?"

"I suppose you were lily white, cooped up in your condo with National Geographic magazines or something."

"Doreen, I was faithful, hell you were wearing my ring." I looked at her hand. "Where is my ring anyway?"

Her face flushed pink then suddenly red and her eyes became slits. I felt something on my shoulder and turned my head slowly.

"Matt honey, is something wrong?" Linda leaned into me, full length.

"Uh- huh? Uh . . ."

"Faithful were you." Doreen got off the bar stool and glared at Linda then in one quick motion, removed the ring from her purse, jammed it into my shirt pocket and gave my face a ringing slap.

"Take me up to our room, Todd." She dragged him by the arm, bumping Linda and I aside.

"Doreen?" I held my cheek. It was hot enough to cook on.

"I think you caught a lucky break, Matthew."

"You call that lucky, eh?" I watched the pair disappear into the hotel, Todd with a plane dancing awkwardly to keep up. "Maybe you're right . . ."

***

Linda met me in the hotel lobby with my ticket for home and as promised, my luggage was delivered and a limo waited to take me to the airport.

"Hope I'm not on the same plane as Doreen."

She laughed and took my arm. "They are staying on according to my sources."

"But her job?"

"You should know," she began giggling, "Todd with a plane is her boss."

I couldn't respond, I let it sink in and silently thanked my lucky stars. My little fuss had exposed what might have been a real disaster. Linda rode in the limo with me, explaining that I was pre-boarded in first class. Just walk on the plane, ask for Cathy Wilson, a friend, and enjoy the memories. She gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek and waved goodbye from the limo window.

***

"I'm sorry, sir. Cathy Wilson does our Toronto flight. Can I get you a pillow?"

"Pardon? What flight is this?" I shoved my face against the glass and saw only clouds.

"Vancouver, sir."

END

©lyttlejoe 2019