Phae

"Hera, baby, please calm down!" hinawakan ko sya sa magkabila nyang balikat at inalalayang maupo sa couch. Naupo ako sa tabi nya at hinimas ang mga braso nya. "Shh.. Shh.."

Patuloy parin sya sa paghikbi nya at nagaalala na 'ko. What the hell is wrong with her? Kanina lamang okay kame. She was just a bit uneasy when she told me she was going somewhere. I offered to drive her there but she declined. Naisip ko naman na baka gusto lang nya mapag isa, so I let her.

Ngayon, bigla syang dadating na hilam ang mata sa luha. I don't understand!

I gave her shoulder butterfly kisses to help calm her down. Ngayon ay nakatakip ang mga kamay nya sa mukha nya at yumuyugyog sa bawat hagulgol nya. I hugged her tight and she hugged me back. Hinayaan ko lang muna sya na umiyak ng umiyak doon. Alam ko naman na sasabihin din nya pag handa na sya.

Eversince I met Hera, she's been having this breakdown spells. I had the honor of witnessing it first hand when I slept over at her condo, best friends pa lang kami nun. At first, hindi ko naiintindihan kung anong nangyayare sa kanya. If I were another person, it would've scared me the f-uck away. Pero hindi ko sya iniwan nun. I held her that day. Noon ko unti unting narealize.. I could never - and I mean never - walk away from this woman.

I instantly knew I was already into deep.

Gagawin ko ang lahat, in all my power, para hindi na maranasan muli ni Hera kung ano man iyon that was haunting her.

"He threatened me.." she said in between sobs. She was clingin into my arms for her dear life.

"Who?"

"Viktor. He threatened that he would tell my parents about us if I don't take him back!"

Humigpit ang yakap ko kay Hera. F-uck that asshole! Ano bang problema nya? Pagkatapos ng ginawa nya noon sa girlfriend ko, ngayon babalik sya at guguluhin kame?! Ano bang gusto nyang mangyare?!

"It's not - It's not that I'm scared, Phae.." sisigok sigok na sabi nya. "I know my parents won't mind! I-I mean-"

"Your parents wanted you to marry a guy, Hera.. Kaya ka nila pinagkasundo sa anak ng best friend nila.. Paghihiwalayin nila tayo pag nalaman nila." I deadpanned. Alam ko. Matagal ko nang alam na engaged si Hera. I haven't met the guy yet and she said it wasn't important coz she's gonna break the engagement anyway.

She told me she loves me and the engagement means nothing to her.

I was hoping it was true. Hindi lang ang hayup na Viktor na iyon ang kaagaw ko kay Hera, pati na rin yung fiance' nya. Kung sino mang tukmol 'yon!

Naramdaman ko na lang na hinawakan ni Hera ang magkabilang pisngi ko at hinalikan ako. She kissed me passionately. Ipinilig ko ang leeg ko para gumanti ng halik. I licked her luscious lips and she bit mine in exchange. I wound my hand on back of her head and pulled her closer, my fingers tangling with her long black hair. "Phae.."

My lips strayed to the hollow of her neck. Panay ang ungol nya habang hinihimas ang likuran ko. "I just wanna tell you.. I.. Love you.. And.. I don't.. Care what my.. Parents would think.. If they find out.." she said in between pants.

"Really?" lumayo ako sa kanya.

"Yes!" she pulled me back and hugged me fiercely. "I'm sorry for behaving like a psycho.. Again.. It's just that.. Naiinis ako kay Viktor."

Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa buhok nya. Inhaling her scent. She's the only love I knew. Masyadong naging magulo ang buhay ko sa bahay. I hate my father, I hate his new bimbo. I hate it when Drae and our father fights. I hate that Drae is doing okay now. I hate it that my lola O is sick. I hate not being able to get out of that freakin house! And then there was Hera. My breather. Whenever I'm with her.. Lahat nakakalimutan ko. Nagiging masaya ako. I feel important. I feel needed. I feel loved.

"Bakit pa sya nagpupumilit na makapasok ulit sa buhay ko?" she said. "Bakit noong kailangan ko sya, wala sya?"

"Do you still love him?"

Bigla ay napatitig sya sakin. "What. Are. You. Saying?"

I frowned. "I said, do you still love that bastard? After all he did to you?"

"No, Phae! Of course not!" muli nyang kinintalan ng halik ang mga labi ko. "Ikaw lang ang mahal ko, kuntento na ko sa kung anong meron tayo. I'm in my happiest now."

She took my hand and gripped it tight. "I am the happiest I've ever been, simula nung makilala kita."

Ngumiti ako ng tipid. Hindi pa 'ko kumbinsido. Why would she cry like that kung talagang di na nya mahal ang tarantadong yun?

"Please, Phae.. Believe me.."

Tumango na lang ako at tumayo mula sa couch.

"Phae!"

"So, what are we gonna do to your a-sshole of an ex?" i asked completely ignoring her protest.

Natahimik sya. Nang lingunin ko sya ay nakayuko sya. "I don't know.." she uttered in a low voice. "I'm just going to ignore him. You don't have to worry about him, I promise."

I just shrugged.

"Will you come here?" nilahad nya ang kamay nya sakin but I remained standing there. Staring at her.

"Please, Phae.. Let's stop this.. I'm sorry.." aniya. Nakita ko naman sa mga mata nya na sinsero sya sa mga sinasabi nya. Yun nga lang, naroon parin ang duda sa dibdib ko. I don't wanna lose her. Certainly not to that abbreviated piece of nothing. "Phae, please?"

I sighed and went to sit beside her again. She nipped my ear and started carressing my thighs.

This is something I haven't decided yet if I love or hate about her. For her, sex is always the answer. We fight, we f-uck. She's upset or I'm upset, we f-uck. We always f-uck. Sex is our fix.

I was about to grope her tits when my phone rang.

I instantly knew it was Drae. He always sets his calls to the loudest ringtone and is even in the vibrate mode. Para daw hindi ko magamit ang excuse na kesyo hindi ko narinig ako naramdaman na tumawag sya.

I irritably reached for my phone and answered it. "What?"

"Sunduin mo 'ko sa presinto."

"Come again?"

"I said-"

"No, I heard you." agad akong napatayo mula sa sofa. I started pacing. "Where's your car and what the hell are you doing in a precint?!"

Upon hearing that, napatayo rin si Hera at lumapit sakin. Bakas ang concern sa mga mata nya.

"I fu-cking need you right now, sis! Please?"

Kinabahan naman ako sa urgency at intensity sa boses ng kapatid ko. "Okay, okay, text me the details. I'm coming for you." tinapos ko ang tawag saka ko humarap kay Hera. "I'm so sorry baby, I know you're upset right now and you needed a fix and-"

Inilapat nya ang hintuturo sa bibig ko. "It's okay, Phae, mukhang kailangan ka ng kapatid mo." she smiled at me reassuringly.

"Will you be okay?" malungkot na tanong ko.

Tumango sya. "Of course." she pushed me.towards the door and said, "Now, go! Make sure you have enough cash in case your stupid brother needs to be bailed."

Natawa lang ako pero napaisip din. Sigurado naman akong hindi nakulong ang kapatid ko. Even if Hera called him stupid, I knew my brother. He's smarter than that. Minsan umaakto lang talaga syang parang tanga but I don't peg him for someone who would get himself in trouble big enough to land his ass in jail.

---

Hera

I rocked myself back and forth as I puffed my - I don't know, fifth? - stick of cigarette. Pinahid ko ang luhang pumatak sa pisngi ko at kinagat ko ang labi ko. Kaaalis lang ni Phae at naiwan akong magisa sa condo ko.

I'm scared.

I'm terrified of the mistakes I did.

Baka balikan ako niyon, at sa huli mawala sakin si Phae.

I can't lose her. I simply can't! I'd die.

Napagulgol nanaman ako. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko at ang lahat ng ito, kagagawan ni Viktor.

Bakit ba kailangan pa nyang bumalik at sirain ang buhay ko? I'm already happy. Masaya na 'ko kasama si Phae. Bakit ngayon pa sya bumalik?

---

(Hera--Flashback)

After a week and a half of sulking, I gathered enough courage to get out of my room and face Viktor. Again.

Alam ko nang may problema kaming dalawa. Dahil kung wala, sana nung pumunta 'ko sa bahay nila ay kinausap nya 'ko. Hindi sana nya 'ko pinagtabuyan at nasabi ko sana sa kanya na buntis ako.

Bukod pa dun, sana tinawagan nya ako nang nakalipas na isang linggo at kalahati. Hindi yung naka bed ridden ako at tanging si Kuya Noah lang ang nakakapasok sa kwarto ko.

Kuya Noah already knew about my condition. Sinabi ko yun sa kanya noong gabi rin na nakita nya ako sa ulanan. I was desperate for someone to listen, someone to share the burden, someone who could help me decide what to do next! Mabuti na lang pala at sa kanya ko napiling sabihin ang kalagayan ko. The very next day, he took me to an OB gyne and there it was confirmed that I was pregnant. Magkakababy na kami ni Viktor. Magiging nanay na 'ko. At the age of f-uckin seventeen.

Kakapasok ko lang ng college!

Hagulgol ako ng hagulgol matapos noon. I cried incessantly inside my Kuya's convertible sports car. Wala syang nagawa noon kundi himasin ang likod ko at subukang patahanin ako. But I couldn't stop. I was so scared. Scared sh-itless. Scared that i nearly pissed myself. Scared to death. How am i going to raise a child at my age? And without a father, no less? But first, how am I friggin going to tell my folks that their only daughter got knocked up?!

Ang payo sakin ni Kuya, hiwalayan ko na si Viktor. Wala naman daw akong magagawa kung ayaw na sakin nung tao. Hindi ko naman daw pwedeng ipilit ang sarili ko sa taong ayaw na sakin, dahil lang sa magkakaanak na kami.

But right now, all I can think of was to talk some sense in Viktor's head. Bah, hindi pwedeng basta na lang nya tatalikuran ang responsibilidad nya sakin! Magkasama naming ginawa 'tong batang 'to. Magkasama rin naming palalakihin 'to! I am not about to let my child grow up without a father! No! That was so out of the question!

So, now I was standing in front of a gigantic building owned by the Sobrevega's. This is were Viktor's been training. Hinihintay ko na lang sya na lumabas at saka ko sya pipiliting makipagusap sakin.

Sinipat ko ang relo ko. I saw it was already 5:30, he ahould be here by now. Ngunit tinubuan na ata ako ng ugat doon, wala paring Viktor na lumabas.

F-uck this sh-it.

Patalikod na sana 'ko nang iniluwa ng sliding door si Viktor. Kasama nanaman nito ang matronang si Katrina. Amd guess what? Naglalambitin ang babae sa braso ng boyfriend ko.

All I could remember was I saw red.

Walang babala na sinugod ko sila at inihampas ang hawak kong bag sa mukha ng malanding matanda. Napatda si Viktor habang si Katrina naman ay napaupo sa sahig. Nakita kong bali ang isang takong ng mamahalin nyang sapatos. Ngali ngaling damputin ko iyon at ipukol sa mukha nyang tinapalan ng makapal na make up.

"Hera?! What the hell did you do?!"

Galit na hinarap ko si Viktor. "Ako pa ang tinatanong mo?! Anong ginagawa mo kasama 'tong matronang 'to? Ganyan na ba ang mga tipo mo? Is this wh-ore the reason why you're not calling me? Not even texting me?! Seriously? You're stooping this low?!"

"Hera, you don't know what you're saying!" gigil na dinakma ni Viktor ang braso ko at pilit akong kinakaladkad palayo.

"No! Bitawan mo ko, Viktor!" i shot a deadly glare at Katrina. "Isa pang beses na makita kitang lumalambitin sa boyfriend ko, hindi lang 'yan ang aabutin mo!"

"For Christ's sake, Hera, where is your breeding?!"

Galit na binawi ko ang braso ko mula sa kanya. "You're asking me?!" dinuro ko sya. "I seemed to have lost my breeding and whatever the f-uck they taught me in school about good manners when I saw you flirting with this b-itch!" i shrieked. "What? Does her wrinkled vagina tastes better than mine?"

"Enough, Hera!" dumagundong ang boses nya. He once again took my arm and dragged me away from there. A lot of bystanders were already watching us. "You don't know what you're talking about!" padaskol na binitawan nya ko sanhi para mapaupo ako sa sahig.

Napanganga ako. Nakaramdam ako ng pagsakit sa balakang ko. "What the f-uck, Viktor?! I'm pregnant!"

There. I said it. Kasabay ng paglabas ng mga salitang iyon sa aking bibig ay ang pagtulo ng luha sa pisngi ko. How dare him! Paano nyang nagawang saktan ako ng ganoon? Paano na lang kung mapaano ang sanggol sa sinapupunan ko?

Ilang sandaling hindi nakahuma si Viktor. Taas baba ang dibdib nya sa lalim ng kanyang hininga. Hindi parin nawawala ang galit sa mga mata nya.

"What?" i asked, wiping tears off my face. "Aren't you gonna say something, huh? Buntis ako! Binuntis mo 'ko!"

"Hera-"

"You are becoming a father, Vik!" i shouted as another bout of tears came springing from my eyes.

I saw him sighed. Then he stared at me blankly. "You better not be pregnant, Hera-"

"What are you saying?! I AM pregnant!"

"You better not be pregnant, coz we're over." he spat.

Pakiramdam ko gumuho ang mundo ko. Kasabay niyon ang matinding pagsakit ng tiyan ko.