I walked into the diner in progress with a big smile on my face, strolling into the very back where I knew the boys would be working. I smirked, and leaned against the door frame, tilting my head as I observed the shirtless boys before me. I could stand there and observe them all day, but I knew that the others would get restless if I took too long to return to Nathan's house. Ever since it had been decided to give a poly relationship an attempt, they had gotten even more territorial and clingy if possible. It amused me greatly, but also made my heart warm.

"Hey, boys," I called out, grinning at the way all of them jumped, turning to face me with shocked expressions. Their faces quickly morphed into expressions of joy at the sight of me, and I smiled, glad that I could bring them some happiness. "I've come to collect you for dinner by request of Kota. And myself, as well. I missed you."

I had barely blinked, yet somehow, Silas had made his way across the room and wrapped me up in his big arms. I squeaked slightly, from surprise and also from the fact that he was kind of sweaty. I hugged him back anyways, his sweat not a big enough deterrent to keep me from wanting a Silas hug. He lifted me off my feet, his arm coming beneath my butt, holding me up. I giggled, clinging to him, happy to be back in his presence after he had been working nearly all day.

"Hey," I heard North from behind him. "Let her go. I want a hug too and if we don't get back soon, they'll send out a search party. You know how Kota is with her."

"I'm sorry," Gabriel snorted, coming up behind Silas as well, as if waiting for a turn to hug me. "Did you mean, how fucking all of us is with her?"

I giggled and gently shoved at Silas's chest, and he reluctantly released me, setting me back down on my feet. I gave a quick round of hugs to North, Gabriel, and Luke who were rather appreciative of it. I could have stood around hugging them all day, but I was kind of hungry, and North was right. If we took too long, there would be a search party for me. It had happened before, and it was bound to happen to again knowing them.

I led the group of boys down the road to Nathan's house. I had almost started calling it my home, but I was hesitant, because even though I hadn't informed the boys yet, I'd come to an agreement with Knox that I would return to the house within the next couple of weeks. I wasn't sure how to bring it up to them, fearful of the way they would react. I knew they hated the majority of my family, and I also knew they would pretty much do everything in their power to stop me from returning to underneath that roof. There was nothing any of us could really do though. I was underage, and so were most of them.

If Axel and the others caught word of it, I would have a riot coming from them as well. I was fearful that in their case, Raven might kidnap me in order to keep me from going back. I hated the idea as much as them, but there was really nothing they could do, well, I mean, besides kidnapping. Though, the press would have a hell of a field day if I got "kidnapped" and it would only make my Momster happier so I wasn't so inclined towards that idea.

"Earth to Sang," Gabriel called to me, and I jolted slightly, realizing that we were now standing in Nathan's driveway. All four of the boys were staring at me, their looks varying from concerned to curious. I blushed, realizing that I must have pulled a Luke and spaced out.

"Sorry," I mumbled, ducking my head down, feeling rather embarrassed about the entire event. "Just got caught up in some thoughts. Let's get inside."

Before anyone could question me, I slid inside and went straight for the kitchen where I had the cover and protection of the other boys. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Sean had joined us, and I wracked my brain for a moment, trying to remember if his car was in the driveway. I came up short and decided that my brain must not have caught it in it's foggy daze.

"Hello, doctor," I cooed in a lame attempt at flirting, coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He chuckled, and turned to face me, his green eyes alight with happiness, although he looked relatively tired. I frowned and cupped his face, squishing his cheeks slightly. "Sean Green, you need to nap."

"Will you be napping with me?" He questioned, his tone flirty, ducking his head down and pressing kisses to my neck. I squirmed slightly, pressing my lips together to keep from smiling.

"If it means you'll get some damn sleep," I replied, resting my hands on his chest and gently pushing him away. "I need to eat first, though, and so do you. You also need to get through the others before you can steal me away."

He groaned loudly. "No fun."

Kota entered the room, pushing his glasses up his nose with his forefinger and briefly eyeing us up. "Did you just call our girlfriend no fun? Because I think I'm going to have to disagree."

I laughed and shook my head at the both of them, then came over by Kota, resting my head on his shoulder. He was pulling out utensils and plates for everyone, and even though his movement kept jostling my head, I was reluctant to break contact with him. I turned my head slightly and kissed his shoulder, smiling softly. Our entire relationship was still rocky and uneasy, but it was moments like this that made it worth it.

"What are we having for dinner?" I quietly questioned him, tilting my head up slightly to look at him. In the fading light of the evening, he looked as handsome as ever, the light from the window and the light from the kitchen casting odd shadows over his face.

He turned his head so he could look down at me, and a small smile passed over his face. He leaned down slightly, rubbing his nose against mine, and I giggled, jerking my head back slightly. He held my head in place with his hands and rubbed his nose against mine again, causing me to giggle harder.

"That's not an answer to my question, Dakota!" I protested, even though I truly loved the moment we were having. As much as I adored the moment, though, I really was starving and I might have even taken a bite out of him if he didn't allow me to get food soon. My stomach was ready to throw a riot.

"Pizza," he replied, pulling back slightly so he could take me in fully, his hands resting on my hips. "It was easy considering we've all been tired lately and there's so many of us. Victor paid for it, though we tried to offer."

"Remind me to talk to him about being too generous sometime soon," I joked, causing Kota to smile. He knew just as well as I did, that Victor was really only generous with his money when it came to the people he truly cared about and considered family. When it came to us, he would do anything, buy anything. He would pay for things that weren't necessary and constantly chip in for buying things even when we insisted we had it. He was precious that way.

While Kota finished pulling things out of the cabinets, I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, and took a sip. I hadn't realized I was super thirsty until I had taken a drink and began to take more tiny sips of it. I had just taken another sip when Kota spoke up.

"I forgot to tell you," he said, amusement clear in his voice. "Raven and Zain bumped into each other yesterday at the house. Zain is now sporting a nice black eye according to Brandon."

I spat out the water I had just taken in and stared at Kota, wide eyed, sure that he had to be joking. He grinned at me and bounced his shoulders in a small shrug. My shock faded away, and in it's place, pure unadulterated amusement filtered through me. I cracked up, gripping the counter to steady myself as I howled with laughter. I probably shouldn't have found my brother getting decked in the face so funny, but I did. He completely deserved it.

"What's so funny?" North asked as he walked in, looking between Kota and I. I was still dying from laughter and shook my head, unable to calm down enough to speak.

"Raven punched Zain in the face," Kota explained, still smiling at my reaction. "Anyways, can you help me with this stuff?" He gestured to the plates and utensils, acting completely casual. "The food is in the living room, I guess."

"Back track," North said, holding up his hands, his eyes widening slightly. I smirked, taking great joy in the fact that he was startled by something for once. "Raven hit Zain?" Slowly his lips turned up into a smirk and he looked rather pleased. "Good. I'm glad he's finally getting what he deserves. Though I am a little disappointed I didn't get to do it."

I laughed, shaking my head, I turned away to grab my water bottle again before helping them when my phone ringing had me freezing. Both North and Kota turned to face me, curious, as they knew as well as I did that almost everyone who would call me was currently in the same house as me. I waved them off, silently signalling that I would join them in a minute after I took the call. They seemed hesitant, but left me anyways.

Without glancing at the ID, I answered the phone. "Hello, this is Sang Sorenson speaking. What can I help you with?"

"Seriously, Sang?" Knox's voice rang in my ear and I burst into giggles. That was my professional way of answering the phone, and I never really used it on my siblings when I was pissed at them.

"Sorry, Knox," I replied, slouching against the counter, glad to be on good terms with him once again. "I didn't know it was you. What's up?"

"They elected me to be the one to tell you..." Knox started off sounding weary, and immediately my eyes narrowed. If they were choosing to have Knox to tell me it meant they were trying to soften the blow, and that whatever it was, I was not going to like it. "I know you were trying to get out of it... But there's a party for your birthday in three days. And you're obviously expected to be present, considering it's your party. I'm sorry, Sang. I tried, I really did. I even tried to convince them out of forcing Zain to come. There was nothing I could do."

I froze for an entire minute, and I think I stopped breathing as well. I could hear Knox still talking on the other end of the phone, but pure fury and sadness was rushing through me and I wasn't so sure how to handle it. I gripped the counter so tight my knuckles turned white, and I began to tremble slightly. I heard Knox repeating my name, his voice spiking with concern, but I ignored him.

I slid down into a crouch, and momentarily forgetting I was in a house with overprotective boys, shouted as loud as my throat would allow me, "FUCKING HELL."

My brother grew frantic on the phone line, shouting my name and practically hyperventilating. Footsteps ran into the room, but I ignored everyone, rocking back and forth, trying my best to be tough and ward off the anxiety attack that wanted to claim me. Except, I couldn't calm myself. The only thing going through my mind at the moment was: I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. All I wanted was to burst into tears and give up. No matter what I did, I could never win, I would always be a piece in Lauren and Zain's game.

I could feel my mental health unraveling right before me, but I wasn't strong enough to piece it back together. My phone crashed to the floor and I wound my arms around myself, sobbing into my knees. I wanted to pull myself together, I really did, but I couldn't find it in me to do so. I was collapsing in upon myself at the thought of seeing Lauren and Zain again and I just didn't know how to reconstruct myself.

I felt strong arms wrap around me and I struggled at first, not wanting to burden anyone else with the damage I was creating, but they wouldn't let go. I started to shove at them but then froze when a familiar Russian accent voice washed over me. It was Raven. Raven was there and he was holding me. I wasn't sure why he was there, and I wasn't about to ask questions either. I clung to him, burying my face in his chest, gripping his T-shirt as reassurance that he wouldn't leave me.

I listened as he grabbed my phone and shivered, quieting enough to hear what he has to say. "Was that punch not a good enough warning? Do I have to fuck him up more? I don't want him anywhere near Sang!" He paused then practically growled, his grip on me tightening. "Fuck you, and fuck Zain too. Sang will be there but only because she has to be. We'll be there too, and none of you will come within more than five feet of her or else you will have a fucking broken arm. She doesn't need this. Leave her alone."

I was shocked by Raven's words. I had known that he had punched Zain in the face, but I hadn't known that he had done it specifically for me. I wasn't so sure I had ever heard Raven so mad, either, nor had I ever heard him speak to any of my brothers like that. I had stopped crying completely, though I still felt shattered. Raven dropped my phone and kissed my head, running his fingers through my hair. He was muttering in Russian and I were sure that most of it, if not all of it, was swear words.

"Raven," I heard Nathan say, concern and frustration present in his voice. I was certain that nearly everyone was probably fuming at the fact that one phone call from a family member had me unraveling. They were never going to let me return to the family house after this. "Give her to me."

"Fuck no!" Raven barked, his hold tightening on me even more. I whimpered at the sharpness of his voice and he quietly soothed me, rubbing my back. "I know you're her boyfriends or whatever, but I have known her longer. I know her better than any of you. I know you care for her, but right now, I'm taking care of her. If she wants to see you, then I'll tell you."

Protests arose, but Raven completely ignored them as he gently lifted me and started down the hall to the room I shared with Nathan. I wound my arms around his neck, looking up at him through blurry eyes. He looked truly distressed, his brown eyes oozing pain and his mouth dipped into a scowl. I reached up and traced his lips, causing his eyes to flicker down to me and soften. Tears formed again.

"Ray," I whimpered, taking a deep breath. I was scared to be around Zain and Lauren again, the two people who caused me the most pain.

"Shh, beautiful," he whispered, pressing a kiss to my head. My eyes slid shut, and I curled into him even more. "It's okay. I won't let those asswhores hurt you ever again."

The moment was too serious to correct him.

He gently set me on the bed, and I thought he would leave me alone, but he didn't. He crawled into bed beside me and held me against him tightly. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeats. I had just begun to slip into darkness, when a certain feeling, a certain thought wormed it's way into my head. My eyes snapped open and I struggled to breathe. I shot up straight into a sitting position, pushing my hand against my chest, gasping for air.

Raven was right by my side, his arms around me, his accent thick from panic. He was trying to coach me on how to breathe like he had seen Corey do thousands of time. My heart broke as I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't allow it, obviously too concerned for my well being. I sobbed harder and finally just leaned against him, allowing the tears to flow.

How the fuck could I love nine guys, as well as my childhood friend? How could I have not realized that somewhere along the line, I had fallen for Raven? I wanted to claw my heart out of my chest and throw it away, furious at it for malfunctioning, but instead I continued to cry, leaning on Raven for support.

"I can't do this," I whispered, pressing my hands to my eyes, my heart breaking in my chest. "I can't do this anymore." 

A/N: you better appreciate this chapter. I had Hollie on my ass for it. I had Raven on my ass for it. I had... Knox on my ass for it. Okay so tell me your thoughts and DARE TRY TO TELL ME THIS ISN'T A 14RH AGAIN BC I MAY BITE YOU. 

okay, enjoy and please comment your current thoughts and feelings and tell me if I ruined you like I ruined Jessica. Jessica is also who this is dedicated to because she's my new beta and I love her and now  I need to go into hiding again bye.

xoxo,

ry.