I was practically vibrating with energy as I hummed and twirled through the kitchen, in search of a water bottle to take with me. Nathan and I were supposed to head across the street to Kota's shortly, considering that he was our ride for the night, but we were running a little late. I was really only waiting on Nathan at this point. I managed to find a water bottle hidden behind miscellaneous food.

"Gotcha," I whispered, reaching out to grab. My hand had wrapped around the cool plastic just as an arm wound around my waist. I jumped, hitting my head on a shelf on the fridge. I pulled back, rubbing my head, frowning. "Ow."

"Oh god, Sang," Nathan said, turning me so he could inspect my head. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

I nodded, still rubbing at the place where I had bumped my head. "Yes. I'm fine. Though, I think that after a month of me staying here you should have probably learned your lesson by now, don't you think?"

He scratched the back of his neck, looking a little ashamed, as if he was being scolded by his mother. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his waist tilting my head up to look at him. After a month of residing in the same household, we had gotten rather used to being around each other and had gotten closer too. Though, in a month, I had grown closer with the other boys as well.

Even though I was barely in contact with my blood relatives at the moment, except for Micah and Knox, who I occasionally checked in with, just so they knew I was alive, the boys were truly beginning to turn into my family. We had even begun to plan how we were going to spend me and Nathan's birthdays, which were fast approaching, and Halloween. I couldn't remember a time in my life where I had been happier.

"We're going to be late," I said as Nathan tilted his head down as if preparing to kiss my neck. I rested my hands on his chest and pushed gently. "Honey, we're going to be late. Kota will kill us. North will run us over with his car. Let's go."

Nathan laughed, but listened to me anyways. He threw an arm over my shoulders and we exited his house together, taking a moment to lock his door before heading across the street. Kota was already waiting for us, as I expected he would be, leaning against his car, eyebrows raised.

Before he could say it, I beat him to it, "We're late."

His lips quirked up in a smile. "At least you're aware that you're late."

He opened my car door for me, and I shrugged, climbing into the passenger seat. We would be a bit late to the drag races, but that was okay. There was only one race I truly cared about anyways, and I knew that we wouldn't miss it.

On the ride there, I thought over the last month, as well as the fact that I would have to return home soon. My eyes fluttered shut, dread filtered through me, and I let out a heavy sigh. The moment I told the boys I was going back home soon was one I wasn't looking forward to. They were all aware of what happened in that household, and they would raise hell if it meant I didn't return, but I had to.

I didn't want to, but I needed to. Appearances were everything in my family, after all.

I was quickly snapped out of my depressing thoughts when Kota's car came to a stop. I climbed out before one of the boys could get the car door for me, and I would have felt bad about it, but I was just too excited. In order to make sure I didn't get lost, Kota slipped his hand into mine, and we started to look for the other boys.

It didn't take long. They were all around North's car, leaning against it, sitting in it, standing around it. I nearly giggled; it almost looked like they were guarding his car, but knowing them, they probably were. Luke spotted me first, and I instantly braced myself. All week whenever he would see me, he would scoop me up in a hug and refuse to let go until someone forced him.

I was tempted to hide behind Kota but instead, I just let it happen. Luke ran at me and I jumped into his arms willingly, laughing as he spun me around. I heard Silas say something, but I couldn't distinguish what the actual words were. Whatever he had said, had Luke releasing me. I didn't even have time to compose myself before I was being scooped up into Silas's arms. I wound my legs around his waist, grinning wildly.

It was a confirmed fact: Silas hugs were the best hugs.

Once he released me, I locked eyes with North. He winked at me and a blush spread across my cheeks. In an attempt to escape his gaze and the emotions he evoked in me, I ducked my head into the backseat of his car, grinning at the sight of Sean and Gabriel sprawled out in it. I poked Gabriel in the stomach and he shot up, knocking his head against the roof of the car.

My eyes widened. "Meanie! Are you okay?"

"Fucking shit damn ow," he mumbled but then stopped, probably having seen the look on my face. He gently cupped my face and brought it so close to his, that my eyes crossed as I tried to continue to look at him. He dropped a kiss onto my nose then backed up some. "I'm okay."

"Let's try and not make hitting our heads a trend, kids," Nathan said from behind me.

I shot him an exasperated look over my shoulder. "You are the one responsible for me hitting my head three times in the past week, you have no room to talk."

"You hit your head that many times and haven't come to see me?" Sean asked, now no longer smiling. A serious look passed over his face and I recognized it to be his doctor look that he wore whenever one of us was injured.

I waved off his concerns. "Just small bumps on the head, nothing too serious. I'm fine."

He opened his mouth to argue, but Kota announcing that it was time for North to take his care and line up shut him up real fast. Gabriel and Sean scrambled out of the car, and I stood back, waiting for North to step up to the drivers door. Before he could get into his car, I grabbed him by his arm and drew him close.

"Be careful, okay?" I whispered, frowning. I had only been to one other race besides this so far, but I still worried myself sick when it came to these sort of events. Knowing how much I worried about them, they tried to cut down on it, but they still participated in them because it was they did. "I'm serious, North Taylor. I'll get Silas to kick your ass if you get hurt. After you heal, of course."

Scanning the area, he swooped down and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. His lips came close to my ear and he whispered, "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Go by Victor and tell him that you're anxious, okay? I'll be back soon."

I stepped back and frowned as I watched him get in the car. There was something in my gut that wasn't settling well, something that had me feeling rather uneasy. I didn't know what it was or why I was feeling it, but I did know that I was dreading North getting into the car and racing. I took a deep breath, shaking off my unease, and walked over to Victor. He smiled and slid his hand into my own, squeezing it tightly.

"He's going to be fine, Sang," he quietly told me, and I nodded, because that was what I was supposed to do, I was supposed to act like was okay and remain supportive.

I watched the race carefully, still feeling the familiar feeling of something being wrong, but I pushed it aside. The race started off, and it was going fine. North was winning, of course. I had seen him drive before, and I knew that he was great at it. I began to relax, realizing that I must have been wrong, but then something did happen.

A car swerved in front of North's, and North, in an attempt to avoid colliding with it, skidded off to the side, only to crash into another car that had been parked off to the side.

A scream tore out of me and the fear I was experiencing made me dizzy, even as I keeled over, coughing from what the scream had done to my throat. At the time, I thought I had just screamed, but I was informed later on that I had screamed his name. I tore my hand from Victor's, pushing and shoving through the crowds of people, panic giving me tunnel vision. I could feel the other boys following me, shouting both me and North's names.

I shoved past the people that were crowding around his car, and I yanked open the car door, practically hyperventilating. A sigh of relief fell from my lips as I saw that he was awake, and mostly unharmed, except for the fact that there was a cut on his head that was bleeding and blood that trickled from his nose.

"North!" I exclaimed, leaning over him, attempting to get him free from his seat belt. I yanked until it came undone, then cupped his face examining the damage. "Oh my god. Oh my god..."

"Sang! Move so I can get him out of the car and so Sean can check him out!" Silas instructed from behind.

I took a step backwards then bumped into someone's chest. I was enveloped with the smell of moss and berries, and I turned, intending to wrap my arms around him, but instead I froze and let out another strangled scream. Victor gripped me tightly and turned to see what I was looking at. His face paled considerably.

"Kota!" He called out, his eyes trained on the same thing mine were.

Written on the hood of the car that had swerved in front of North was: I warned you. Right beneath that was a white mask that was Volto names stake.

I promptly doubled over and vomited, panic consuming me once and for all.

***

"Baby," he said, as I helped him into his trailer. "You really didn't need to stay the night with me. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

It was clear that he was trying to be humorous in an attempt to make me feel better after the car accident, Volto, and my panic attack. I wasn't exactly in the mood for humor at the moment, though. I wanted the chaos in my life to end, and it didn't seem like it ever would with the way things were going lately. Sometimes I contemplated just running away and leaving it all, but I knew it wasn't plausible whatsoever. I had obligations, and I had people I cared for.

"North, can you just shut the fuck up and let someone do something nice for you?" I snapped and his face fell as he studied my face. I knew that he must have seen the fear that lay in my eyes and how concerned I was about him, and I didn't try to hide it. I couldn't hide it, even if I wanted to. I couldn't hide anything from the boys, they always saw through me.

"Sang," his voice came out in a whisper. I helped him sit on his bed, and turned away in a futile attempt to hide my tears. "Sang." His voice slightly harsher now but I was so close to unraveling, that I was certain if I looked at him, I would completely lose it.

I couldn't stand it when people I cared for got hurt, I couldn't stand the fact that I was the reason why he was getting hurt. Volto, whomever he may be, didn't like me. He had never threatened the boys before I came around. It was technically my fault that North was hurt and the knowledge of that was like a knife to the heart. Arms wound around my waist and I leaned back into North, blinking away my tears.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, wiping at my eyes, frustrated. I was here to help him, not for him to comfort me as I cried. "I'll be okay. Just give me a second."

"Lay down with me," he whispered into my ear, brushing hair away from my neck and pressing a kiss at my pulse. I inhaled sharply, tilting my head so he could have better access. I bit my lip and turned to face him, gently shoving at his chest, pushing him onto the bed.

"You need to rest," I reminded him. "If you promise to rest, then I will get into bed with you."

"I promise," he breathed out, gripping my hips and pulling me onto the bed beside him.

Guilt stabbed through me, not only because I was still blaming myself for the accident, but because as much as I liked North, I liked the other boys just as much. If they asked me, I knew that I could never choose just one, and I didn't want to lose any of them. I was feeling rather miserable and selfish, and North was definitely able to notice as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and pecked my lips.

"Go to sleep, Sang," he ordered me quietly, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "We'll figure everything out tomorrow morning."

I did my best to try to sleep, but eventually, North's breathing evened out and I ran my fingers through his hair, looking at him softly.

Staring into the darkness, I realized that I was falling in love with nine boys, at the worst point in my life.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

a/n: This is kind of on the shorter side but I hope it's pretty impactful, as that's what I was going for in this chapter idk. I don't know how I feel about this chapter I kind of feeling like it's poorly written but I tried lol. Anyways!!! Thank you to anyone who is reading my story and supporting me, your comments always bring a smile to my face. 

Song: Boys by Charli XCX (this song kind of reminds me of Sang and the boys lol and it's currently my favorite song so enjoy) ((also also this would have gone up sooner but I quite literally got distracted by this song and fanfiction about the boys whoops))

xoxo,

ry.