Trigger warning: There's some stuff that goes down in this chapter that I think I should warn you about. It's not that graphic, or anything, but still. 

"You've got some a good amount of explaining to do yourself!" North barked, shooting to his feet. Silas was immediately standing beside him, gripping at his arm and speaking to him in Greek. I sat up straighter, and it seemed as if Luke and Gabriel had tensed from North's outburst, as well. 

"North," Mr. Blackbourne warned, shooting the boys warning glares. "Let Sang explain herself. Once she's done, then she's right, we have a hell of a lot of explaining to do as well."

I squirmed in my seat, but started at the beginning, telling them about the drag races, which they mostly already knew about, but then moved onto Karen asking me to come to the boxing match with her. I avoided looking at Silas as I continued on to what had happened while I was there, still confused and upset about the fact that he was a supposed boxer. I didn't like the idea of him getting hurt and inflicting pain. When I was finished, a good amount of the boys were swearing quietly, and I was shrinking into my seat, the guilt forming a tight knot in my stomach again. I rubbed at my belly, willing it to go away.

"You just wanted to have some fun?" Kota inquired, his voice soft, though his green eyes betrayed the fact that he was upset with me. I hated that I had upset him of all people; the one who had cared enough to rescue me from Greg at the drag races and had made an effort to bring me into his group of friends.

"Yes," I replied, quietly, ducking my head down. A hand gripped my own and I flashed a weak smile at Luke. "I'm sorry. I never meant to cause anyone any trouble... I know I should have told you, but I was so afraid that you would stop me. I know that it was the wrong decision, now."

"Peanut," Nathan sighed, sounding more tired than anything else. "I know that you think that we're mad at you, but we're not. Well." He paused and eyed up North. "Not all of us, anyways. We're mostly just disappointed and worried. We wouldn't have been able to handle it well if you got hurt."

"I'm sorry." I squeaked out, rubbing at my eyes to rid myself of any tears forming. I truly was sorry, and I hoped that they knew that.

"Boys," Mr. Blackbourne said, his voice serious, and his eyes shining with regret. "I know that you probably want to speak with her more but it's time that we come clean. She has to know what she's getting involved with, and she needs to decide if she wants to remain associated with us after the truth has been provided."

I chewed on my bottom lip, worry and anxiety spiking inside of me. I didn't understand why they were acting so serious about this. I had messed up, yes, but I was willing to deal with North yelling at me as long as he wanted about it, and any other consequences they saw suffice. Actions had consequences, I knew that first hand from Momster. And yes, Silas was apparently some sort of boxer, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't want to be friends with him anymore. I would constantly worry about him, but it was something that he did, and I had to accept that.

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, curling in on myself, as if there was some possible way to shield myself from whatever they were about to reveal.

"Sang, Miss Sorenson," Mr. Blackbourne started, his voice soft and strained, as if it pained him to even talk to me about what was going on. "I know that you met Kota at the drag races, and you saw Silas fighting at the boxing match tonight, and you must be curious. We didn't want to tell you this, yet. We didn't want to scare you off... But we really don't have a choice anymore now that Rocky and Jade and most likely Volto knows about you."

I had so many questions, but I remained silent, looking between all the boys in room, but none of them would look at me. The dread inside of me grew immensely. Whatever they had to say truly couldn't be good if they were behaving this way. 

"We're a gang, sweetheart," Kota sighed, the expression on his face enough to make me want to cry. He looked absolutely shattered and ashamed. I wanted to hug him, but his words had me frozen, waiting to hear more. "All nine of us have been through a lot in life, and we ended up going down some really bad roads. When we started the gang, we were still involved with that stuff, but we managed to channel it into something that was better. Sure, we're still involved in dangerous activities, but we're working towards a better life."

"I became a doctor because of them, Pookie," Sean spoke up, quietly. "They encouraged me to stay in school and work towards what I wanted, and because of it I graduated early and have become a doctor. Because of this gang, this family."

"What-" I paused, then cleared my throat. "What do you guys do... that's dangerous?"

"Nathan and I box," Silas announced, his eyes shining with momentary happiness about the activity he loved, before dimming again. "We're apparently really good at it." Nathan snorted at his words, making me wonder if what Silas had said was an understatement or overstatement.

"I race," North grunted, though he didn't seem all that happy to be telling me about it, as if he assumed I would be disappointed in him. "It's another way to blow off steam and get money. I'm not proud of it, but I do love it."

"I steal, I'm a thief," Luke said, grinning slightly. I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped, because I had known that Luke was great at being sneaky. The other day, I had watched him pick pocket Silas and then return the wallet without Silas ever noticing. I had wondered how he had acquired such skills, but didn't question it at the time. 

"I think you're aware that I'm good with computers," Victor sighed, running his fingers through his hair, messing it up. His fire eyes were so dim that I wanted nothing more than to make him laugh or smile just to see them light up again. "So it shouldn't be a surprise that I hack things every once or awhile. I never do it out of malice. Just... necessity. And sometimes even curiosity."

I mulled over their words, nearly trembling from all the new information. Part of me knew that I wanted to remain friends with them, even if they participated in dangerous and potentially illegal activities. They were my friends, some of the first ones I had ever made in my life, and while I was scared, confused, and upset, I knew that most of them must have felt the same way.

I wanted to talk to them more, to discuss the secrets they had been hiding from me, to discuss what I had hidden from them, but my mind was so foggy at the moment that the only thing I really wanted to do was go home and sleep. I couldn't continue this conversation when my mind was in disarray and exhaustion was pulling me down.

They were all watching me with such hope, and I felt bad for the fact that I was about to let them down. I already knew that I was going to accept them, even if they were in a gang, but I needed sleep before I could eloquently tell them so and further discuss everything.

"I need to go home," I whispered, slowly standing up, and carefully stepping over Luke and Gabriel. "I need some sleep. Can one of you drop me off at Knox's so I can get my car?"

Their faces immediately fell, and feeling bad, I went around the room, giving them each a hug as a silent reassurance that nothing was different. I silently promised to fix the small break in our friendship that had occurred that night, but for the moment, I needed to get some sleep and ensure that word hadn't gotten to my brothers yet.

I was going to fix this, just not at the moment.

***

I stepped into the house, and I almost shrunk away, the atmosphere foreboding and dark once again, something that I should have been used to. I had hoped that Lauren wouldn't have been home, and I had hoped that Zain wouldn't have either, but I had seen two all too familiar cars in the garage when I had pulled in, and I knew that it wasn't about to end well for me.

I started to tiptoe down the hallway, hoping that I could get to bed unscathed, but luck was never on my side to begin with.

"Sang, where the hell were you?"

I winced at his tone of voice and wrapped my arms around myself tightly, contemplating ignoring my eldest brother. I began to continue walking down the hall, doing exactly that, but a hand gripped my arm and pulled me into the kitchen. I flinched away but turned to face the scariest Sorenson's: Lauren and Zain. Dread filled me at the sight of their faces. 

Momster squinted her eyes at me, taking in my disgruntled appearance. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know exactly where her mind went to or figure out the thoughts she had on me. She was about to accuse me of so many unspeakable things, and I wanted to cry. I wasn't sure I could handle her insults at the moment, and I wasn't sure if I could handle Zain lecturing me afterwards. I'd had enough tonight, yet no one seemed to want to acknowledge that. Everyone wanted to push me to my edge, apparently.

"Zain," Lauren said, her voice all ice and steel. "Leave us."

Zain hesitated, obviously not so keen on the idea of abandoning me with the person he knew that would harm me whenever she got the chance. I shot him a look, daring him to speak out, daring him to stop the inevitable, daring him to be the hero for once. He shot me a look of his own, then slid past me and down the hallway. I wasn't surprised, though slightly disappointed in him. 

"Let me guess," Lauren growled out, stalking around me, staring at me like I was her next prey. In a sense I was the prey, that's how are relationship was. "You were out, whoring yourself out to boys, weren't you? After I specifically told you stay away from boys. Do you like smearing our name? Do you enjoy ruining not only your reputation, but our family's?"

I ducked my head down, shame filling me from acts I did not commit. "No... I'm sorry, mother."

"You're such an ungrateful brat!" She spat at me then gripped me by my hair and shoved me to my knees, causing me to yelp. She kicked me in the side for it and I doubled over, sucking in air, reminding myself to remain quiet during her punishments or else they would be much worse. "You will listen to me when I tell you to behave."

I trembled in anticipation as to what was about to come but nodded in agreement with her, anyways. I mentally steeled myself, gritting my teeth, prepared for anything that was about to come my way. It was hard to shock me at this point; she had done so many heinous things to me, that I barely reacted when she came up with something new and creative to punish me with. I watched her as she put together her preferred lemon juice and vinegar concoction. 

When she was finished, she crossed the floor, prepared to force it down my throat, but before she could, Zain had returned. Hope soared through me, even though I already knew what the out come was going to be.

"Put that the fuck down, Lauren," he snarled, shooting her a glare. She froze in her spot, her eyes darting between Zain and I, obviously trying to make a decision. Was it more important to punish me or please her favorite child? She slowly set the glass down, all the while sending me a venomous glare, as if I was the one responsible for turning her eldest son against her. I wanted to spit at her and remind her that she had done all herself without my help.

"She's misbehaving," Momster tried to explain, shoving me hard enough that I fell into the fridge. I remained there, leaning against it, watching the two, warily. "I can't just have her traipsing around like some slut."

"Then you should probably set a better example for her," Zain replied coldly, crossing his arms and staring her down. There was no way she was going to win this fight, and we all knew it. She tossed me one last look before stomping down the hall, grumbling to herself about her 'tramp of a daughter' and how she 'should have aborted me when she had the chance'. The words stung, but I didn't let it show that she had effected me, I was stronger than that, or so I tried to tell myself.

Once we were sure she was gone, Zain helped me to my feet, and I wound an arm around the side that Lauren had kicked, feeling a sharp pain in it. She had definitely done some damage with her stupid heels and I knew that I would be feeling the pain for awhile. I leant against the fridge, eyeing my brother up with barely concealed displeasure, waiting him out. He was going to say something, he always did after moments with Lauren.

"This," he said, turning his back to me and resting his hands against the counter. "Is what I'm talking about, Sang. You can't live like this; being accused of sleeping around every time you get home. And she can't keep making you drink this shit!" He struck out, hitting the glass, sending it flying to the ground. Glass shards littered the ground and I jumped, pressing my back against the fridge for security. My family was fucking insane, and I had been so ignorant to it for so long. "You need to get yourself out of this situation. It's not healthy."

"You know what's not healthy?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly, but still strong. I'd had enough of his nonstop bullying when I had enough of it going on with my own mother. "Going out and getting drunk every night. Sleeping with girls and screwing with their emotions because you want to feel loved by somebody, anybody. Starting fights with the little sister you adore because you have no other way to take out your emotions. I'm not your punching bag, Zain. So stop treating me like one."

"Me?" He exclaimed, turning to face me, his eyes an inferno of pent up rage and pain. I felt like cowering away, but instead I stood my ground, meeting his eyes and raising my chin defiantly. He wasn't going to scare me this time. "Mom is the one who's treating you like her personal punching bag. You're constantly bruised! Every month, you're losing your voice from that stupid shit she makes you drink! She isolates you from the world and tries to turn our siblings against you! How am I the bad guy?"

I scoffed, shaking my head, suddenly feeling really bad for him. If he couldn't see how fucked up he was, then I didn't know how to help him any longer. "Because, Zain," I said, my voice almost as frosty as our mother's. "As least Lauren knows she's a monster. You can't even admit that much to yourself."

I turned to walk away, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, the only thing to give away just how anxious and terrified I was after the entire night that I'd had. Before I could even get out the door, he was slamming me into the wall. I winced and squeezed my eyes shut, rather used to this behavior when it came to my brothers. They were rough, and when they were trying to demand someone's attention, they got even more rough. The only one who behaved that way towards me, though, was the one who had me pinned against the wall.

"And you're a scared little girl who will never get anywhere in life," Zain whispered into my ear, his voice hard, something I was used to hearing when he was drunk, but never aimed towards me when he was sober. I must have really pissed him off. "If you don't eventually end up killing yourself, then Lauren will probably end up doing it for you. Why can't you just accept that I want to help you?"

I threw my elbow back, connecting with his face. When he backed up, I turned to face him and glare. "Because you say shit like that to me."

I speed walked away, taking deep breaths, pushing away the anxiety attack that wanted to consume me. I needed to get sleep, I needed to escape from the world full of nightmares for at least a few hours. I closed the door of my bedroom behind me, and stripped off my shirt, inspecting the bruises that were beginning to form from the night's adventure. My fingers traced over them, and tears seared my eyes. All my mind could whisper was, I don't deserve this.

"Sang," my favorite brother breathed out, and I lifted my head, meeting eyes that were identical to my own. They reflected horror and pity and sadness, and I felt awful that I was the one to have placed it there. "Sang, what did they do to you? Sang. Oh my god."

I collapsed, his words being the undoing for me. I covered my face, sobs tearing from my mouth. Everything hurt so much, and yet I kept my feelings tucked away neatly, hiding them so as not to burden anyone else. My pain was tearing me apart from inside out, though. I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle everything. Knox held me tightly, allowing me to cry on him, and I was certain that he was crying as well. 

Neither of us was handling this well, which was rather understandable due to the circumstances.

"Sang," he whispered, pressing a kiss to my head. "You have to help yourself, sweetheart. I don't know what you should do, but I do know you can't keep living like this. You have to do something, okay?"

All I could do was nod, because I knew he was right; I also knew that I was in pain, and all I wanted was for it to stop.

a/n: I hadn't been sure if I was going to update again before Saturday but I decided to gift you with this little treat because I wasn't sure how much I would be able to update Saturday since I have a visitor and I have to babysit Saturday night. I'm sorry that this one is heavy too, but in a couple more chapters I have a light hearted cute chapter! So look forward to that.

Tell me what you think!!

Song: Dirty Laundry by All Time Low

love,

ry.