(i'm 'asshole narrator')

This is a conversation between Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred) and yourself, asshole narrator.

asshole narrator: marcus eh

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Who said that?

asshole narrator: scarred for life or just scarred

asshole narrator: because i'm the former

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Both too to be honest

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): But who are you? A spirit?

asshole narrator: 'tis i

asshole narrator: assailed narrator

asshole narrator: asshole

asshole narrator: goddamn autocorrect

asshole narrator: anyways

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Why are you stalking me, spirit?

asshole narrator: i'm bored

asshole narrator: i am not a spirit

asshole narrator: because i have no soul

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): So... you're an invisible demon?

asshole narrator: sure i guess

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Or an invisible ginger?

asshole narrator: i'm asian, marcus

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Asian Invisible ginger demon?

asshole narrator: dammit marcus you're a mercenary i thought you'd be better than this

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Always expect the unexpected

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): What's more unexpected that Asian Invisible ginger demon?

asshole narrator: that'd make the unexpected expected marcus

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Dammit

asshole narrator: that's a paradox in itself

asshole narrator: anyway what are you doing i have to narrate it

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): I'm...was...in the middle of hunting a demon ironically

asshole narrator: i'm not the demon for your information

asshole narrator: dammit demon where are you

asshole narrator: come out come out wherever you are

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Stop baiting it

asshole narrator: it's funny because christians™ say that gays are going to hell

asshole narrator: d a g f l a b b i t d e m o n w h e r e a r t t h o u

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): STOP BAITING THE DEMON, I'M HERE TO ATTACK HIM STEALTHILY! *The voice echoes through the abandoned mansion*

asshole narrator: i think the demon you're looking for is Moloch he's a bit of an ass

asshole narrator: he's hiding in the closet

asshole narrator: geddit

asshole narrator: in the closet

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Get out, you pun demon

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): *approaching the closet* he's here?asshole narrator: idk you tell me

asshole narrator: ok moloch joke's over

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): Some narrator you are. I thought narrators were to create stories, not talk to main characters like they were old buddies? *opening door*

asshole narrator: i'm what the narrator gods call special

asshole narrator: also close the door behind you didn't anyone teach you proper manners

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred): No wonder they call you special

Marcus (mercenary, tall, well built, dark hair, scarred) has left the conversation.

This is a conversation between Looking and yourself, asshole narrator.

asshole narrator: looking for a reason why your username is like that

Looking has left the conversation.

((This is where it gets interesting))

This is a conversation between rude asshole, and yourself, asshole narrator

Rude asshole: FAG

Asshole narrator: i'm sorry but i'm not a mirror

Rude asshole: Fuck you

Asshole narrator: you wish

Rude asshole: I'm getting tired of that cocky bitch attitude

Asshole narrator: this cocky bitch attitude is saved for dicks like you

Rude asshole: somen need to learn their place

Asshole narrator: a good thing that women aren't 'somen'

Rude asshole: suck my dick, bitch

Asshole narrator: i'd have to use a microscope

Rude asshole: You'd suck it all the same

Asshole narrator: And to measure your IQ

Rude asshole has left the conversation.

Not my best burns but... he doesn't deserve those sacred roasts

Also have an animated pole dancing chicken. It dances to whichever song you play. I hit shuffle and it played 'who lives, who dies, who tells your story' which is really sad and always ended with me curling into a ball of depression, but I laughed for 5 minutes because it fits for some fkn reason

http://pin.it/TNtGxxW