i'm honestly the most average person i know

like all my classmates so interesting. let me elabor8. they all have that one talent/characteristic that everyone knows them by, and sometimes they're stereotyped, but still... one's artistic, another's a genius, and then there's the popular one, and everyone acknowledges that

and i'm like in the middle? i'm not excellent at everything. yes, i know i'm good at some stuff like writing, but do i consider it a talent? nah

i said at the start of the school year that i took ballet for two/three years. i didn't tell them i'm not the most flexible (the only thing i can do is a split, and only with the left leg in front) or even the most graceful (a girl 1 yr younger than me is; and i'd rank myself at most a third- second if i'm trying to be optimistic). then i left my old school so i don't take any lessons anymore. it's a 1 or 2 hour's drive there, and it starts at 4:30 while my school ends 3:15/20.

my new school does have ballet training, but i'm not taking them for these reasons:
1) i'm drowning in schoolwork and  advanced reading and i'm struggling to pass; while keeping it together at the same time.
2) if i did take them i'd probs be even more tired and i can't have that when i'm going to sleep at 11 or 12.
3) it interferes with my advanced english classes, and i'm actually enjoying them (lmao nerd) bc it's on mondays n thursdays while ballet's at tuesdays and thursdays.
4) halili-cruz (the name of the ballet school) is so prestigious and even lisa macuja (a filipino prima ballerina) once went there (she also went to the old ballet school i used to be in just a lil fyi). BUT it's so strict that by one year of training there students would learn all types of turns and jumps. and i'm so anxious bc i don't even know how to do a grande jete, i only learned the eschappe (?) before i left. then all my classmates would be way advanced and i'll probably be even more insecure and full of anxiety that i won't keep up.
5) SPEAKING OF ANXIETY, i'm so sensitive tbh. and not in a good way. i'm of average weight... i think... while from what i saw, the students there are stick thin and i've seen the uniform so never the hecc mind. and in my mind i'm just thinking that i'll stick to walking to my mom's office everyday.

i joined a club (required for everyone) ab ballet but then they dissolved it bc they didn't have enough students (we were only five, then one left). we didn't even learn to do anything so... yeah

basically my life used to have potential before i singlehandedly ruined it. thanks.

maybe i'll make a pt two ab the above statement if i feel like it