The Golden Lake.
A lake I have always wanted to visit, but never did out of the fear that coming here alone would make me feel alone.
It is well-known for its breathtaking view during the golden hour. Thus, it makes a great place for couples to plan a warm date. Date.
The idea that maybe this is a date lights up something inside my heart, which blows out as soon as the idea hits that it may not be a date and the guy may not show up at all to this.
The wine guy...Aesterope never told me the time at which I should be there, so I came 2 hours before the golden hour. That is 5 p.m. right now. If my research was correct, then the sunset would be seen between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m.
The sun is bright but not the sort that hits your skin. It's smooth and warm.
The lake spreads across the land, but not too far. Our eyes can hold the length of the lake. My finely ribbed v-neck cream color cropped sweater matches the aesthetic of the maple trees that line across the land and outline the lake.
I found a tree near the lake and spread the picnic blanket. I was forced to bring on the advice of Amelia. Not only that, I was forced to bring a picnic basket with wine, 2 wine glasses, and sandwiches. Apparently, that's what will make this date perfect according to Amelia. I laugh when Amelia's lit-up face comes to my mind.
I sit, and I wait. I turn on my laptop and start typing the new ideas that came to my mind for my book. A few minutes pass by when I hear footsteps approaching me.

"I hope I cause no disturbance to you with my presence, my lady?" Aesterope bows in front of me with one hand on his chest and the other reaching for me with palm side up in courtesy.
His smirk exposed the dimple on his right cheek.
This man wears an off-white turtleneck that is tucked into his cream color trousers.
His hair is like the first time we met, all set up, but that one strand that messily plays around his eyes somehow complements that blue heaven that looks straight into my eyes. His jawline is sharp and visible.
I foolishly smile and place my right hand in his hand as he gives it a little peck. Just a peck and my hands feel lightning rushing up. How will it be if his lips end up in m... no, stop. I have to hold my rushing thoughts.
He sits with his back to the tree and his face directly facing me.

"Finally you came, almost thought you would not come," he says

"How long have you been waiting?"

"6 hours," he smiles and shifts to a different position. His right leg is folded, and the right hand sits on his knee while his left leg is free.

"You are joking." I can't believe a person would ever wait for me for this long, except for Amelia, of course.

"I'm not," he laughs while I look at him, surprised. He continues after a moment. "I saw you coming here, You looked too beautiful to be approached." Another silence and a blush on my cheeks. I am still not used to getting compliments. I am not sure how to react.
When the silence became too hard to bear, he continued, "I see that you have planned very well." His eyes looked through all the stuff Amelia forced.

"Amelia's work, not mine, And I would appreciate your silence as I work," I say, pulling my gaze from him and back to my laptop. It was a test of his patience and a test of my self-control at the same time.

"I will have to thank her then," he says, and I can feel his smirk and gaze right at me.

For the next few hours, there was silence. A warm, comfortable silence that wraps us both carefully, knitting us together as time goes by. His eyes are constantly stuck on me, I could sense it.
How and when 2 hours passed by was a question I didn't seek an answer to.

The first ray of golden hour touched my skin, I pulled my gaze up to the lake, and the view was enchanting.
The breeze turned colder, but the warmth of the sun was felt within every fiber of my body. The beautiful shade of golden reflects in the lake, making this all so magical. Birds flying and chirping. Surprisingly, today, not a single couple or a person was here, just us.

I turn my gaze to him only to regret it.

This man is beautiful. The golden ray touches his skin so softly. His face turned towards the lake, complimenting his jawline and that perfect nose. His blue eyes reveal a shade of blue that has turned into my favorite one from this second. He blinks so softly, and his lips are too tempting. The breeze plays with his hair and god, I want to run my fingers through his hair. As if it wasn't already bad, he turned and his eyes met mine, for a second they widened.

My heart skipped beats, not a single beat but beats.

I swiftly turned my gaze to the sunset instead. The thought of him with me right now makes me smile, and the thought that this is temporary makes me laugh a little.

I hear Aesterope call me almost in a whisper "Silvia"

"Yes?" I asked without turning.

"I love you," I hear him whisper, I was about to turn in question.

Before I knew it, his lips crashed into mine. I am in heaven. My eyes are snapped closed, and all I can feel is his tongue making its way to explore. Goosebumps rise in my body, and this electric feeling makes it hard for me to think of anything. Fuck it, I don't want to think anything. His tongue is everywhere I can feel. Heat rises in my body.
His hands secure the back of my neck and pull me in, deeper and I feel his whisper "fuck" in a breathy voice too close to my mouth and he stops.
He pulls away his hand and his mouth, making me instantly miss that warmth. His taste lingers in my mouth and I instantly want to bring it back. But I stop.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," He says in a clear but breathy voice. His face is down and his left hand which was on the back of my neck just a few seconds ago is now placed on the back of his head. While his right hand is on the ground. Veiny hands.

I am too stunned to speak. I didn't want him to stop. The sun still has its golden light but is way softer now.

"You just--you looked so--gorgeous and I wanted to--I mean I did-- Like, I shouldn't have--but I--Fuck" He stutters and curses in frustration and covers his face.

"What did you say back there? What did you whisper before you....you know" I am too desperate to know that it's not something I just imagined but something that happened.

He removes his hand from his face, and finally, those blue eyes look at me. "I have fallen in love with you,"
My world stops. So many chains break and fall at the same time. My breath stops for a moment, and the time is too slow. My heart is banging in my chest to break it open and fall out.

That's my cue to leave. Again.

I close my laptop and stand up. My hands were about to reach out to pick up the basket before Aesterope grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. His hands are gentle but firm.

"Please don't run away again like this." His eyes, sad sea.

"You don't love me, Aesterope. You don't. You are just attracted to my presence and want to have it, soon you will get bored and you will turn away and leave me. I am not a fucking toy or an object you can choose and like instantly and then you play with it and make it feel important and completely abandon it when you are bored or find something better to pass your time. I am a fucking human, stop toying with my emotions just because you are unclear with yours. Stop making me feel like I am special when it will be easy for you to let go of me whenever you want. Please don't do this to me, Aesterope. Please. " My voice is louder than I expected and it trembles as it threatens my eyes to fall apart. Tears form in my eyes but not a single one shed. I feel a strong knot forming in my throat slowly tightening itself.

"No, Silvia. No. I know that I love you. Infact, love is too small to define what I feel for you. I am obsessed with you.
The way you smile, the way your eyes shine in the sun, the way you glare, the way you speak. The way you turn your gaze away from me, the way you blush, the way you look at me, and the way every part of you is beautiful, and yet you can't see it. I am obsessed with you Silvia, the smallest of you. And I need all of you for myself. I am too selfish when it comes to you." His words are hitting right through my heart like an arrow. So gentle.

"You are not obsessed with me" I hissed.

"If you want, I'm up for the debate, but let me tell you, I have been debating with myself about this from the first time I met you but every time I see you...I lose. Today, I give up." His words are mere whispers only heard by me. How dare he look at me like he means it.

"You know nothing about me" This time it was a whisper. The knot has grown too tight for me to say anything without breaking down.

"Maybe I don't. But I am more than willing to know. So much, that the moment I found out you are an author, I looked up all the books ever written by you and order every single fucking one of them and read all of them like a fucking psychopath, when I in my whole life have never been much fan of reading books. Until of course, it was by you.
So much, so that I watched all of your interviews,
and So much, so that when I found out that in one of them, you said you wanted to go to golden lake wearing cream-colored clothes, I planned a fucking date and rented this whole place and bought myself cream clothes so I could match with you.
So much that I feel fucking butterflies, which is fucking weird but I do, even when I am just sitting in silence just looking at you for hours.
So much so that when I realized you like those small flowers with white petals, I made a whole bouquet but to my luck, I ended up losing it.
So much so that.......that for the first time in my life, I am willing to live for a person and do all this crazy stuff for this one person." His voice was loud and impatient when he spoke and a simple whisper on the last line.
His hands no longer hold me. I could run away from this like I always have, but I want to dare the world to try to defy me this time.
He did all this, just for me? Do I even deserve this? Do I even deserve him?

Suddenly his voice echoes in my ears

I think you should let the person decide if you deserve them or not.

I gulp hard trying to repress the knot that now threatens to choke me.
"Do I deserve you? You will not hate me? You will not leave me?" My voice is desperate. I fail to keep my tears. My heart is numb. All the heat has left and only the cold makes its way through my heart.

"No. You don't deserve me. You deserve way better. But for you, I am ready to be the better that you deserve. And Sil.." He cups my face with his warm hands on this chilly night "How am I supposed to hate you when all you ever give me are the reasons to fucking love you? If I must leave myself on the way to find you, I am more than willing to give all that I ever had just to find all that I ever need. You." He gently touches my forehead with his forehead it takes away all my pain.
My heart begs me to let this chain break.
I don't know what will happen if I let it. I'm scared too, but I'll do it anyway.

And I did it.