Rating: Teen

Relationship: Ladynoir, Adrinette, MariChat

Tags: Identity reveal, scapegoat, don't think too logically about logistics, this would all be solved if Marinette called Adrien.

Artwork: By KaSi on Instagram

*****

"Hey Marinette, are you free this weekend? I know it's short notice but we really need someone else on standby at the university's performance of 'Les Misérables'. Apparently the girl who was meant to do it has the flu and there's no other seamstresses available."

Marinette pouted at her classmate. She was due to be watching the 'Gabriel' showcase Saturday afternoon at fashion week. She'd already said she'd catch a lift with Zoé and promised Adrien she'd be there. So, no she couldn't, but she needed a good reason for it.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she signalled to her co-worker she just needed to make a quick call and it didn't take her long to find the number she needed in her phone. She dialled it, placed the phone to her ear and mouthed to her co-worker...'I'm just checking plans with Kevin'.

She tapped her foot impatiently waiting for the call to connect.

"Oh, wow! I didn't realise you two were still together, it's been a while now. Perhaps you could bring him—"

The click of the other side of the call caused her to exhale a sigh of relief. Phew, just missed out on them asking her more about her 'man'.

'Hello?'

There it was, Kevin's silky smooth, non-quantum masked voice. As always her Kitty was her saviour.

"Kevin, hi. I just wanted to check if we had any plans for the weekend? I wasn't sure what the alpacas were doing?"

"Alpacas?" Her co-worker questioned, Marinette raising one finger to her lips, before pointing towards her phone as though she needed to listen intently. Squinting, Marinette nodded her head and pursed her lips.

'Oh a code: alpaca? It's been a while since we've had one of these. Put your co-worker on the phone.'

Marinette smiled and looked towards her fellow intern. "He wants to speak to you."

She watched the girl's eyebrows crease together as her hand stretched out to tentatively take the phone.

"H-Hello?" she queried as 'Kevin' began talking down the phone. The one skill he needed absolutely no support with.

Marinette could faintly hear his rambled words, and from the expression on her co-worker's face he was playing his part perfectly — she owed him. Her co-worker's face morphed between awe and disbelief, it looked as though Kevin was really laying it on thick.

Reel it back, Kitty Cat!

Marinette's co-worker nodded before a string of reinsurances came out their mouth and the phone was being handed back to Marinette.

"Kevin?" she questioned, repositioning her phone against her own ear.

'All sorted Lovebug, you're mine for the weekend, well me and the six alpacas we're visiting. I can't tell you exactly where though, it's a surprise for our fake two month anniversary.'

"You're amazing, do you know that?" she giggled.

Code for: Great job!

'Well, people have been known to comment time and time again.'

She couldn't help laughing, turning what would usually be a guffaw at the idiocy into the giggling of a woman in love.

'As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I've got to get back to work. Anything else you need me to do?'

"I'll see you later then?"

'Of course. Now before you go you know what you need to say.'

"Oh, Kevin," she laughed, trying to fake shyness, sticking to the role. "I don't think that's necessary."

'Oh, I'm quite sure it is, so if you want my help again, say it!'

Marinette looked at her co-worker who was still monitoring her expressions, her eyes still in that dreamy state that on the other side of the phone was a real life Prince who was about to run away into the sunset. She had no choice, not if this wanted to come off as real. She turned around her back facing her co-worker as she took a deep breath and almost whispered the words. The words which were the bargaining for this 'helpline'.

"I love you."

'What was that? I just lost signal for a second.'

She knew for a fact his face would be glowing right this second. Enjoying the pain he was putting her through. Oh, how they'd be having words later. Closing her eyes, she braced herself again, this time speaking a little louder.

"I love you, Kevin."

'Awwwww, I didn't know you felt that way. I love you too. See you later.'

He hung up and she turned back towards her co-worker, who was frozen in a position like a Disney Princess.

"That is the sweetest thing. You have the best boyfriend ever. Though, there was something about his voice. It seemed so familiar but I just can't place it." She shrugged, turned around and left...just left.

What the hell had 'Kevin' said?

*****

Marinette walked onto the Liberty, a pile of costumes in arms as she delivered Kitty Section their newest outfits. She walked over to a pile of boxes and effectively dropped them on top.

"Hey Marinette," Luka said, running over towards her. He scooped her into a hug and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

"Hello, to you too!" she laughed. "What's got you in a good mood?"

"I have a date with that guy I've been telling you about, Michael." Luka dropped Marinette down onto her feet as his own feet struggled to remain still. Oh yes, the new love of Luka's life — Michael from the local flower shop.

"That's great news! When is it? Do you need an outfit? I have time to make you something if you want."

"It's the weekend, and I do need a favour... but not an outfit."

Marinette froze. Oh no! He couldn't be asking... could he? "I'm not going on a double date!"

Luka puffed air from his cheeks, his beautiful smile suddenly turning down into a pouting frown. "Please, Marinette. It's his best friend. Apparently he's into fashion, tall, muscular, blond hair – just your type really."

Luka looked so hopeful, but she really didn't want to have to go through another double date so Luka could get some.

The last one was with a surgeon who'd brought along his cosmetic surgeon twin. When 'Botox Bruce' had told her he could give her a discount for breast implants, she'd excused herself to the toilet and transformed, sailing into the sky and crashing smack bang into her partner.

From there, after he'd almost wet himself laughing, Kevin had been created. A SOS line purely for her benefit with a brand new phone; 15 code words and 4 emojis. They had been using this fool proof plan for months.

Sighing, she pulled her phone from her pocket. "I'll check my diary."

She felt terrible about what she was about to do, but at the end of the day, there was no chance she was going to go on this date with Luka. Pulling up her text messages, she found her contact named Kevin and sent him the frog emoji — because apart from times of despair, when else would you use it (Chat Noir's words — not hers).

In the matter of seconds, her phone began to ring. "Sorry," she said to Luka, "I've just got to get this. It's my mentor."

"Kevin? Again? I'm starting to think this guy likes you, Marinette."

Giving her friend a wry smile, she accepted the call and prepared to be saved. "Kevin? What can I do for you?"

'A frog! Oh no! Not another double date.'

"Oh no! When did that happen? Everyone knows you can't fix that kind of emergency with an arrow stitch!"

'Ah, this weekend then. What are you thinking of doing instead? Ice cream and a race around Paris?'

She looked at Luka, mouthing sorry again. "If you think that would help."

Code for: I'm going to kick your butt!

'See you bright and early on Saturday then, Bugaboo! We're going to have a day of adventures. Now don't forget the sign off...'

With each code there was a specific ending — one for when Kevin was the doting boyfriend, and one for when Kevin was the hard hitting mentor.

"I'm so grateful for this opportunity, you really are the best."

His velvety chuckle sounded down the phone like melted chocolate on a fondue. 'I really am! Bye, M'Lady.'

"Looks like I'll be busy this weekend, sorry Luka."

He studied her for a second before nodding. "No worries." He turned and walked away, taking the guilt she felt with him.

*****

Kagami had been going on and on for weeks about wanting Marinette to come with her to one of her mother's fundraisers and, usually, she wouldn't mind. It was just that recently going to a fundraiser with Kagami basically meant watching the fiery fencer mount her boyfriend, whilst all she could do (thanks to absent company) was get drunk and stalk Adrien... who usually had quite the display of womanhood on his arm.

He'd try to come and speak to her, like any good friend would, but the woman he had as his 'date' would pull him away as soon as he stepped in her general direction. Leaving her to make do with messaging him for the night — because she most certainly would never call Adrien Agreste, that's just insane.

But luckily, she had Kevin now, and Kevin would never make her go to such an event. Pulling out her phone, she informed Kagami she would have to try and reschedule a date with the guy she'd been seeing. It wasn't too much of a lie, after all, she would most certainly be seeing him instead anyway — that's what usually happened.

Selecting her partner's number, she held the phone to her ear, hoping once again Kevin would work his magic.

Wrapping one arm around herself, she gave Kagami a quick smile before turning away a little.

Come on, Kevin! Where are you?

"Is everything okay, Marinette?" Kagami placed a hand on her shoulder making her jump.

"Oh, um, yeah, everything seems to be fine."

"Is he ghosting you? That's so juvenile. You need to find someone like my Félix, someone who has morals and standards."

Marinette sucked back in the snort, attempting to leave her lips, causing her to choke in the most unattractive way possible. Which, of course, happened just as they were joined by the world's most perfect boyfriend (Félix), and the world's most perfect male (Adrien). Why did she always look like an idiot in front of the earthed God?

"Who's ghosting you?" Adrien asked, his green eyes almost sending her on a one way trip to heaven as she misplaced her step and tumbled forwards — straight into his arms.

"Hi!" He smiled so brightly at her, and she couldn't help her usual reaction. Her cheeks flustered as she stepped back out of his arms, even after 4 years she still lost her nerve around him sometimes most of the time.

"The new guy Marinette's seeing," Kagami said in response. Adrien's eyebrows frowned as he looked her over, only to have her cheeks flare up more and more.

"A new guy? He's not worth the chase Marinette, not if he's ignoring you. You deserve more than that."

Like a snowman, she melted from his warmth. The kindness striking her in the heart like an arrow through a target, why couldn't he be hers?

She shrugged, quickly sending off a message to find where her partner was. "I don't know about that."

She was 100% certain that if anyone knew the elusive 'Keith' was actually Chat Noir, the tables would turn and they'd be telling him to run in the opposite direction instead. Luckily for her, her Kitty would always be there, even if he knew she spent half the day yesterday with her skirt tucked into her tights.

"I do." And just like in her favourite dream, Adrien stepped forward and placed his hands on her upper arms, causing a slight giggle to leave her lips as she looked from one hand to the other. Hubba, hubba!

"You do?" The words came out with the puff of air leaving her cheeks, her knees giving away a little from the close proximity.

"You're wonderful, Marinette. Kind. Caring. Creative. Any guy on the planet would be lucky to call you his."

"A-any guy?" She looked up into his eyes, hoping she wasn't reading into this too much. She stepped forward, lips pouting as her eyes fluttered at him.

She pushed up onto her toes, ready to grasp the bull by the horns and kiss the living daylights out of him, yet as his phone buzzed in his pocket, all contact was dismembered and he stepped away, causing her to tumble forward and into the sofa.

"Sorry, it's Aphrodite."

"Aphrodite?" Marinette repeated with an edge of disgust. Aphrodite? As in the Greek Goddess. A snort came from over her shoulder, her head whipping around just in time to see Félix doubling over, Kagami's elbow retracting back to the side of her body.

"His new woman. He won't tell anyone her real name so gave her this Greek Goddess of Love name instead." Félix stuttered in a breath as Kagami covered her own mouth with her hand.

"What can I say? She likes her privacy."

Adrien tapped around on his phone and Marinette used the moment to gather the broken shards of her heart and leave. She would be the only stupid enough to attempt to kiss Adrien just as he finds himself a girlfriend.

"I need to go, see you all soon." She signalled her goodbyes before heading to the door, her phone buzzing repeatedly in her pocket on her way out. It seems her partner had reappeared.

She selected his number and waited, maybe it would be worth going to find him now. He always had a way of making her feel better.

'I'm so sorry I missed your calls, I was with my cousin and then saving damsels in distress.'

She smiled. "Sure. What was it this time? A two year old who'd lost her comforter?"

'How about a 19 year old who can't walk in heels?'

Marinette looked down at her own feet. She knew that dilemma. "Are you up to much at the moment?"

'Not if you need me.'

And need him, she did. Arranging a meet point and time, Marinette found somewhere to transform before flinging herself up onto the rooftops.

*****

Marinette didn't know what else to do. She hadn't slept in two days and she was seriously losing it. Who the hell was Aphrodite?

She'd tried everything, from searching Instagram and TikTok to running car registration checks and still no idea who this femme fatale was. How was she going to beat this woman without some sort of intel?

Cue: Alya and Nino.

Marinette stood, welcoming them both at the table before settling down — well as settled as she could be on 2 hours sleep and 3 cups of coffee.

"What's the emergency, girl?"

Slamming her hands down on the table, Marinette frightened the waitress who was making her way over, causing her to turn and scurry away in the opposite direction. "Who is Aphrodite?"

Nino, looking slightly scared, glanced at Alya, before glaring straight back at Marinette. "A-Aphrodite? Sorry, dudette, I haven't studied Greek Mythology since the 3rd grade."

Marinette giggled, then laughed, then sprang up onto the chair, resting on her knees. Before anyone could register what was happening, Marinette reached out and grabbed the neck of Nino's tee, pulling him forward and almost over the table.

"Marinette," Alya squealed, trying to get her boyfriend back in his seat.

"Listen, Wise Guy, you are my best friend's boyfriend, if you want to keep the part of you she enjoys the most, you need to tell me. Who is Aphrodite?"

"Marinette, let him go." Grabbing her hand from Nino, Alya pulled Marinette back onto the seat — apologising to those sitting around them.

"Marinette," she hissed. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! It's Nino who's the liar! Why won't you tell me who Adrien's girlfriend is?" Marinette picked up the fork from beside her plate and pointed it in the direction of her cap wearing friend.

"My dude doesn't have a girlfriend! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"A-ph-rodite!" Marinette spelt out for him, Nino once again shaking his head.

"There is no Aphrodite! Just one of his work friends who uses him to help her out of sticky situations."

Huh? That sounded oddly familiar.

"So, there's no Aphrodite?" Marinette asked again.

"No! There's not. Geez, Marinette, when did you become so unhinged?"

She chuckled embarrassedly, grabbing hold of her coffee and sinking back down into the seat.

"I think you've had enough of those." Alya took the hands from around her mug and placed the object back on the table. Everyone around them gave her a small side eye and tutted. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Sorry," she whispered to the tables around, then turning her attention to Nino. "You too. I shouldn't have done that."

Nino tried to get his collar to sit right once again on his shirt to no avail.

"I'll make you a new one of those too."

He smiled slightly at her, but his eyes still read fear... and lots of it!

"Yikes! What's going on here?" Marinette's head shot to the side and straight into the glowing emeralds of Adrien's. Great! That was all she needed!

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she signalled she had a call and pushed herself out of the booth and off in the general direction of the restrooms (no backwards glances at Adrien, but a lot from people at her).

Finally, locking herself in the cubicle, she found Kevin's number and sent him the mayday of all mayday messages.

🌼

Stepping back out into the corridor near the restrooms, she rounded the corner and waited by the payphones.

Come on, Kitty! I need you!

Within seconds, her phone was ringing. Kevin.

"Hello!" She sounded breathless, grateful for her friend to once again dive into the rescue.

'Are you okay?'

"If making an absolute tit out of myself in the public space means I'm doing okay, then I'm fabulous."

She heard him laughing on the other side of the phone, a laugh which seemed to echo around the area. She looked around, she was most certainly alone. What was going on?

'It can't have been that bad?' His voice sounded again, both in and out of the phone call. It was getting closer.

She backed herself against the wall at the corner, her heart hammering as she considered what was happening. Chat Noir was here! Her partner had seen her make an idiot out of herself in public, and even more so, he was on the other side of this wall. Lowering her voice a little, she continued to make conversation.

"Oh, it was! I'm hiding out at the moment."

She heard shuffling on the other side of the phone. The noise sounded like fabric against brick.

'Come on, Bugaboo! Your clumsiness is endearing, everyone would agree.'

He... was... right... beside... her! Just around the corner. She could reach out and touch him if she wanted. She could peer around and look at him, sans mask.

Exhaling her doubts, she closed her eyes and allowed her voice to come out at a normal level. "Only you would think that. You see parts of me no one else ever does."

There was silence on the other side of the phone, static and general chatter of people passing to go to the restrooms.

'Bug?' His voice is soft, questioning. Not quite believing the same as she did.

"Yes, Chaton."

'Where are you?' A ringed hand came around the wall, grasping onto the corner and allowing her to see his Miraculous, and his well manicured hands. Her Kitty obviously hadn't done a day's manual labour in his life.

With a slight tremor of her own, she reached out and placed her hand on top of his — a gasp sounding through the speaker of the phone.

"I think you know where I am."

'What do we do now?' His voice was so small for someone so strong and full of life. A fear hidden beneath the carefree attitude.

"I don't know —"

"Adrien, have you seen Marinette? She's been on the toilet for ages." The sound of Alya's voice bounced into her ear, the hand she was holding going still.

"Oh, um, Alya, I didn't realise — I didn't —"

It was obvious he'd moved the phone from his ear, however, the sound of 'Adrien's voice was no doubt coming from her partner, her contact called Kevin.

"Woah, sorry, big guy. Were you on the phone? Was it to Aphrodite? By any chance?" Alya started laughing, Adrien quietly laughing along with her. "If you see Marinette, can you tell her to get off the phone to Kevin and actually spend some time with her real friends."

The sound of a door opening and closing once again left them alone. Both gripping onto each other like the meaning of life — to be honest, he was most certainly hers.

"Are you okay, Kevin?"

"Yup, swell...just...swell!"

"Why did you choose Aphrodite?" Marinette asked. Their hands were still as firmly connected to each other as their backs were to the walls.

"Goddess of love and beauty... it seemed fitting." She could just picture his other hand floating to his nape and rubbing against his hair, her own lips turning up at the thought. "Who was the double date with?"

"Luka and Michael," she answered.

"Ah, okay? And me... you stood me up. I was going to be your date."

"No!" She giggled.

"Yes!" As if by magic, Adrien made his way around the corner, a smile plastered on his face and their hands still connected.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hey," she said back.

"Well, hello!" Alya joined in, her eyebrows wiggling up and down. "I have no idea how this has happened, but I cannot deny I don't dig it!"

"Goodbye, Alya," Marinette said, her eyes still firmly on her partners.

"Tell Nino to order what he wants, and put it on my tab." Adrien continued to look at Marinette, her cheeks heating from the glance.

"And make it something big, we could be here a while," Marinette added.

"Whenever you say, lovers!"

Alya headed in the direction of the table, once again leaving them alone. Marinette tugged on their joined hands, pulling Adrien towards her, only letting go to slide hers around his neck.

"So, Kevin, could you help me out with a situation?"

"Hit me." His hands moved to her waist, fanning out and framing her hips.

"There's this... guy, I really want to kiss, but I think I need some practice first."

With one eyebrow raised, it was clear Adrien was taken aback by her straight forwardness. "Oh, yeah! And how can cool, calm Kevin help you?"

"Pucker up, Buttercup."

Without wasting another moment, Adrien pushed Marinette into the wall and kissed her over and over again. As much as she loved having Kevin in her contacts, she loved having Adrien in her arms more — she'd just have to find a new scapegoat. But that was a job for another day.