Speed Dating for Dummies
Post Reveal / Pre Relationship Adrinette
"Do we really have to do this?" Marinette whined, digging her heels into the ground as Adrien dragged her down cobbled stone street. It's amazing she hadn't made friends with the ground yet as she navigated the pathway with heels double the height of what she was used to.
"Yes, we do! You wanted to get the full university experience, and speed dating is one of the most popular events. We're single so why not?!"
"But I'm a grower!" Marinette groaned, stumbling forward and digging her nails into Adrien's arm in response. High heels and a dress a little on the short side was not exactly the Marinette she wanted to be promoting. If you dated her, you'd need to be used to her wearing her partner's hoodie and food stained joggers - the ideal fashion student she was not. "People have to get to know me to like me." She pulled at the hem of her dress, yanking it down a little further - a pointless move on anyone's part.
When she'd allowed Adrien into her apartment to choose her outfit for this evening's 'event' she didn't realise he'd make her look like an extra member of 'The Pussycat Dolls'. He hadn't even blinked twice as she appeared in a miniscule black dress Alya dubbed her come and it get dress - to be honest he hadn't blinked at all.
"You look really good, don't let that thought discourage the effort you put in this evening."
Her heart swooned; he thought she looked really good... but, hold up...
"So you agree? I don't make a good first impression."
"That's not what I said," Adrien answered with a cheeky smile. "Plus that doesn't matter when you look like you're about to make speed dating your bitch!"
Marinette stopped and glared at him before bursting out laughing. "You didn't just say that, did you? 'Make speed dating your bitch' you need to stop watching Love Island," Marinette joked before laughing again. The sudden vibration knocked her off her heels again as she continued fumbling down towards the venue. It would be Adrien's fault if she pulled his arm out of the socket. He was the one who chose the heels too.
"Listen! You signed us up to this."
"I didn't realise it was speed dating. I just signed up for all the freshman events, you should have stopped me."
"You said you had it under control!" He laughed again, moving forwards and towards the bar where the event was taking place. "I tell you what, once we've finished we'll go for a drink and compare notes, okay? You can do this. It's only an hour."
Marinette froze, looking in through the windows before turning back to Adrien. "Are you sure this is okay? I know you're not big on this kind of thing. It's not exactly keeping you here on the downlow."
Placing his hands on her shoulders, as he always did to calm her down, Adrien lowered himself to level with her eyes. "I'll be fine. We'll both be fine and, who knows, on the other side of this door might lie the love of your life?"
She didn't have the heart to tell him that there wasn't a chance of that happening, purely because the love of her life was standing right here, right in front of her. Anyone on the other side of this door was going to fail in comparison to her partner and best friend.
"Come on, Marinette, what's the worst that can happen?"
You could fall for someone else and forget about me!
Keeping her thoughts buried deeply inside, she sighed and instead turned her attention to the doorway and pushed herself on to cross the threshold.
Adrien followed behind her, an obvious silence drifting over the room as people stopped and stared. She almost turned around and ran in the opposite direction.
"Ladies sit down, gentlemen to the bar. We'll be starting in about ten minutes." The hostess greeted them both at the entrance, taking their names and handing them a name tag with a number on and a card for them to mark their matches.
Marinette nodded as she listened to the explanation about how it worked, almost jumping into Adrien's arms and begging him to remove her from this place. She was going to mess this up big time.
"I'll see you on our date then," Adrien said, heading off to the bar and leaving her alone - and petrified.
She watched him walk away, finding some of his university friends and not even giving her a second glance. Oh, dear! She was on her own now, what the hell did she do?
Marinette made her way to a table where a selection of drinks were already laid out and grabbed one which looked a lovely shade of pink. She wasn't a big drinker, both herself and Adrien focusing a lot more on their hero duties than running down the Champs-Élysées in their underwear - it had only happened once, and no matter how many people asked, the story would be going to their graves with them.
Carefully, she raised the glass to her lips and poured the tiniest drop of liquid into her mouth. Where the bitter taste of the alcohol hit her tongue immediately, the softening of fruits gave it a rather pleasant taste. This was actually quite nice.
Moving from the table, Marinette searched for an empty seat finding one next to someone she would consider the prettiest girl in Paris. Great job, Marinette!
Taking another healthy swig of the cocktail, Marinette pulled herself together and headed for the table, and the woman who looked as though she was born with an Instagram filter permanently on her face. She really was perfection, in every sense of the word. Her hair was brown with the most vibrant glisten, her eyes perfectly made up and making her hazel eyes pop, and then her outfit - well, if Marinette had a body like that she would most certainly be showing it off too. Were those breasts real?
"Hi," Marinette said breathlessly, sitting herself in the chair and turning to the girl next to her.
"Hi! Are you as nervous about this as I am?"
Marinette smiled. Not only was Miss Pretty... Well, pretty... she also seemed very nice. "You could say that. Have you ever done one of these before?"
The girl shook her head before taking a rather large gulp of her own cocktail, the same one as Marinette was currently clutching on to.
"Nope. Never. I came here to support my friend over there." The girl pointed directly across the room to another beautiful girl, who surprisingly looked more uncomfortable than Marinette felt. "She needed some moral support and everyone else was busy. I'm not really looking, just came along for the free drinks." She giggled before swigging off the remainder of the cocktail. "Excuse me a second."
Marinette watched as she stood up and almost ran to the table, grabbing another drink and throwing a good portion of it back. If she wasn't careful she'd be drunk by date two.
The girl wandered back towards her table, stumbling slightly on her heels as she slipped back into the chair.
"I'm counting down the seconds until this ends," she said, glaring over to her friend once more. "She owes me big time for this!"
"Cheers to that," Marinette said, holding up her own glass.
Suddenly, a bell sounded around the bar and the woman who greeted them could be heard over the tannoy. "Seats everyone, let's begin."
Marinette watched Adrien head over to a girl opposite, his eyes meeting hers as he crossed the bar and dropping her a quick wink. This was about to be the hour from hell; not only did she have to make small talk with random men - something she was crap at - but she would also have to watch Adrien flirt with other girls. She really was a glutton for punishment.
Pulling her eyes from Adrien, Marinette attempted to focus on the brown haired guy sitting down in front of her. "Hello," she welcomed, as cheery as she could fake. "Are you as nervous about this as I am?"
The guy didn't even look at her, instead his focus was already on the girl next door. If this wasn't a knock down for her ego, nothing would be. He could at least pretend to be interested in something... anything.
"So, what do you do for a job?" Attempting to converse with this guy at least a little, Marinette dug deep into her Chat Noir list of small talk. Oh god, she really did suck at this.
Glancing past his head, she spotted Adrien in animated conversation, his arms moving in front of him and the girl smiling. God, damn him!
"Oh, I'm studying engineering."
"That sounds interesting. Is it true what they say?" she asked, the guy frowning at her.
"It depends," he replied. "What do they say?"
"Well... an optimist says: 'The glass is half full.' A pessimist says: 'The glass is half empty.' and the engineer says: 'The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.'"
As a tumbleweed blew its way past them - metaphorically, of course - her current 'date' took his glass and drained the beer that was left inside. It was fair to say, he would not be matching with her. His butt was already hanging off the chair and heading in the next direction.
They sat in silence for the next few minutes, alternating who drank and waiting for the bell to ring, finally dragging them out of this hell.
As soon as those wonderful chimes were heard, he dived out of his chair and into the next without as much as a goodbye to Marinette. This was going to be even worse than expected.
Marinette picked up the pen from next to her scorecard and placed an 'X' in the box beside date one's number, before looking up into the wonderfully blue eyes of her next date.
"H-h-hi!" she stuttered out, mesmerised by the colour staring back at her.
The guy settled a notebook in front of him and looked intently at her. "Ball sport?"
Marinette recoiled back into her seat. "Excuse me?"
Looking exasperated, the guy rolled his eyes and then asked her again. "Ball... sport?" he asked again, pronouncing each word with a little more oomph than before. "You know, ball... sports?"
"As in... which one I like?"
"Well, yeah! What else would I be asking?" he laughed to himself.
"Oh!" Suddenly feeling rather dumb for her question, she stumbled out her answer thinking of Adrien in those baggy shorts which hung just right on his hips. "B-b-basket ball shorts... I mean basketball."
The guy picked up his pen and scribbled something down in his notebook before looking up at her again.
"Food?"
"Um - galette."
She watched him scribble down again, this time shaking his head slightly and letting out a sigh.
"My parents are bakers, you see, and they make the -" Before she could complete her answer, the next question had been thrown at her.
"Colour?"
"Pink," she said. "M-my favourite colour is pink."
"Huh," he puffed, writing in his book again. "Typical!"
"D-don't you want to ask anymore questions about me? Like what I'm majoring in, or what my hobbies are?"
Mr Blue Eyes shook his head. "No time. If these don't correspond well to my likes there's no point in continuing this relationship."
"Relationship? It's not exactly like we're -"
"On bottom or on top?"
And just like that the date was over, and so was her drink. "Be right back."
Standing up she headed over to the cocktail table and found another one of her precious pink drinks before giving Adrien a quick glance. Once again, he was kicking up a storm. The girl he was currently 'dating' was laughing and even placing a hand on his arm.
How she wanted to just go over and slap her hand off him. Gosh, had she always been this territorial?
Sitting back in her seat, she faked disappointment as the guy left and the next appeared; and the evening didn't really improve.
From the guy wanting to know her deepest, darkest secrets to a guy looking for a hook up after he caught his ex-girlfriend in bed with his best friend, each and everyone who had sat in the hot seat was nothing but a waste of both their time. Her current 'date' looked as though he was already writing the groom's speech, but not to her... oh no, to her neighbour.
The bell signalled the last swap around until they had a quick break and Marinette was ready to make a break by running out of there.
"It's going that badly then?" a familiar voice sounded in front of her and she could have dived across the table and kissed him.
"Thank god you're here."
Adrien chuckled as he placed his beer down on the mat. "So, how's it going so far?"
"About as good as you'd expect. I can understand why, like myself, a lot of these guys are single."
"Same with the girls. Though I must say, the flirting here tonight is top notch."
"Am I included in that?"
"You're top of the list, M'Lady."
They smiled at each other, Marinette needing to break the moment before she broke down in front of him there and then, begging him to choose her. She finished off what was remaining of her second drink before looking back at Adrien, his eyes burning into hers and a goofy smile on his face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she laughed. "Do I have something on my face?"
Adrien shrugged. "I was just wondering something."
"Ask away," she said.
"Did all the other guys make me look good?"
"A bit sure of yourself, aren't you?" Marinette asked, a burning sensation spreading across her face.
Picking up his beer, Adrien saluted her, causing her face to glow even more. She groaned and placed her head in her hands. "I'm so bad at this, I can't even make small talk with you."
"I think, Bugaboo, that's because I'm so handsome and charming."
She groaned again, suddenly feeling a hand on her arm, a slight pressure causing her to move her hands away.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm crap at this too. Every girl so far thinks I'm too nice to be straight."
"Well..." Marinette trailed off, only to have Adrien kick her in the shin - softly.
"Leave me alone. I'm a nice guy!" he laughed causing Marinette to roll her eyes.
"You moonlight as a cat in black leather, and blow things up. Nice guy doesn't really fit into that mould."
"I only dress that way for you, Marinette. That look is for your eyes only."
The bell suddenly rang out, stopping the date and causing Adrien to look a little taken aback.
"That can't be time already?" he said, checking his watch as if it had the answer.
"Time flies when you're having fun, I suppose," she responded, gutted that she'd be losing Adrien so quickly. Surely, that hadn't been ten minutes, they'd barely spoken about anything.
"We will now be having a short comfort break," the voice sounded out over the speaker, Adrien taking the opportunity to stand from his chair.
"Another drink?" he asked, lifting her empty glass from the table.
"Sure. The pink one, please."
Adrien smiled and she almost melted through the chair. "I wouldn't have expected anything less."
As she watched Adrien go, Marinette couldn't help but feel like she'd just said goodbye to her arm. She wanted him back and in the chair opposite. Marking the box which said he wanted to be matched to her. She just wanted him to want her.
"Is that Adrien Agreste?" The girl next to her had shuffled her chair over closer towards Marinette's leaning in to talk to her. From the smell of her breath, she'd managed to down a couple more drinks over the past 45 minutes or so.
"Oh, yeah, it is!" Marinette looked up to where Adrien was now talking to the guy with the blue eyes. Both turned to look at her and she couldn't help but think she was centre in that conversation.
"He's even more attractive than in the magazines."
Jealousy began to creep over her as the most beautiful girl in all of Paris was fawning over her partner... her crush! That wasn't all though, from the look she was currently giving Marinette it was obvious this girl didn't see her as any type of competition. More fool her?
"He is, he offered me a discount on botox with his doctor. Apparently, he goes twice a week."
"No way! You're telling me he has -" she looked around before leaning in closer and whispering, "cosmetic surgery."
The girl's eyes had blown wide and Marinette couldn't help the smirk. It seems she'd hit a sore spot with the girl.
"Yes, way! And that's not all. He was constantly trying to get me to down my drink so he could get me a new one. He said he believes everything's 'better with a drink in you'."
"No!"
Oh, this was going to be good! Time to strike with the kill. "You know what else, he told me that he likes to cosplay as Chat Noir, and makes his date's scratch his belly and throw a ball of yarn around for him. It's part of his interview process apparently."
A drink suddenly appeared in front of her, Marinette's eyes lifting to catch the amused expression of Adrien Agreste. Oh damn! Had he heard her?
"Marinette, may I speak with you for a second?"
Nodding, Marinette stood herself from the table and looked over to the girl next to her. "If I'm not back in five minutes, please come and find me."
The girl eagerly nodded in response as Marinette followed Adrien into a quiet corner of the room. Safely away from the other speed daters.
"I know what you're doing?" His eyes were glistening and she was happy he didn't seem to be pissed off with her.
"What I'm doing?" she questioned, fluttering her eyelashes innocently at her partner.
"You're making this more fun," he said with a slight chuckle. "I'm so glad we're on the same page. I'm bored out of my mind."
"Yes, of course. Just causing havoc again, you know me."
Adrien started to laugh to himself. "Shame on you for starting the game without telling me. I'm going to have to work overtime now to catch up. You're hilarious, Marinette."
The bell rang once again, everyone starting to scurry back to their seats. Before she could move too far, Adrien grabbed a hold of her arm and pulled her in close to whisper in her ear.
"Game's on, Bugaboo."
Letting go of her, he walked in the direction of the restroom as Marinette moved back to her table, the girl (Adrien's next date) looking towards her.
"So," she questioned. "What did he want?"
Reaching for her drink, Marinette faked shocked exasperation. "He just propositioned me. Said we could go to the toilets and 'enjoy each other'. He said something about pawing me and asked if I was good at purring."
As Adrien headed back out the toilet, his smile gave everything away, especially as Mr Blue Eyes gave her another look and a shake of his head. Sitting in front of Miss Pretty, Marinette was pleased to see the girl had turned her head in the opposite direction.
The bell signalled again, everyone making sure they were where they needed to be and the room was filled with chatter once again. As Adrien attempted to make small talk with her neighbour, Marinette welcomed another disinterested party at her own table.
This one was the worst yet, he hadn't even bothered to look at her, instead his focus was everywhere but. In result, Marinette couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation progressing next to her, even with everything she had told the girl it seemed she still wouldn't give up the opportunity to get close and personal with a supermodel. How can Adrien win people over even when you tell them he's fake and wants to be a cat?
Turning her attention back to her current date, Marinette plastered on a smile.
"So what brings you to speed dating?"
"I'm not looking for anything at the moment, sorry."
His statement took her aback. How could you be at speed dating without looking for something?
"Oh, I thought maybe..."
"I know what you're after and I'm not the guy for you."
Well that was obvious! She heard a snort from the table next to her and turned to see Adrien covering his face with one hand as the other lifted the drink to his lips.
"What kind of guy am I after?" Her eyes remained on Adrien as she spoke, the blond's shoulders shaking in a lack of control.
Turning away from him to hear the answer to her question, she almost fell off her chair as he responded.
"I don't know what you think this social event was, but if you want a baby you might be better off getting a long standing boyfriend first, or visiting a sperm bank."
A snort sounded from Adrien's direction again, Marinette's face heating up to the temperature of lava. She was most certain her face was now pink; actually, she was positive she had borderline purple.
Ding! Ding!
It was time to move on once more and if she thought the other guys had moved fast, she was sorely mistaken. There wasn't a human alive that could move faster from a chair than this guy. She watched him practically push Adrien out the seat to get into the next one, the model smirking at Marinette as he wandered over to the opposite side of the room and to his next date.
Well... how about that!
"Marinette, nice to finally meet you."
A guy dressed in a rather nice suit sat down in front of her, a gold Rolex on display and a smug look on his face. How the hell did he know her name?
"Oh, um, hi... I don't think I know your name, sorry?"
The guy settled back in the chair and crossed one leg over the other, was he wearing James Bond socks?
"You know, you're a very pretty young lady. I would gladly take you on."
"T-t-take me on?" Marinette attempted to look over to Adrien, but this time his back was to her. What the hell had he said to this guy?
He lowered one leg down, locking his fingers together and leaning forwards on the table. "I can treat you well. €1000 per week, plus benefits if I need you to do... things, for me."
Standing abruptly, Marinette almost sent the chair flying to the floor, her hands grabbing the back of it as she swung herself around.
"Excuse me a second, I just need to -" Without finishing the sentence, she almost ran over to where Adrien was sitting, stumbling on her heels, and glared at his current date.
"I need to speak to Adrien," she said.
The girl jumped from the seat, almost eager to get away - probably more of a dog person. Collapsing in the seat, Marinette glared at her friend who was struggling to contain his smile.
"Is there a problem?" Adrien's eyes were glittering in the way they did when he was causing trouble for her, but this time he'd gone a little too far.
"A problem? You know full well there's a problem!"
He shrugged and took a sip of his beer. "I don't know what you're on about."
"You don't?" she huffed. "That posh prick just offered me €1000 a week, plus benefits if I need you to do... things."
Adrien chuckled, only adding to her rage. "I personally would pay you €3000 a week and take the benefits for free." He dropped her a wink and she was sure her head was about to explode.
"Adrien! I don't need a sugar daddy! Or a sperm donor!"
"You started it!" he said exasperatedly. "Girls are propositioning me to take them to the toilets because they have a good purr!"
Without meaning to, the laughter bubbled up inside Marinette and before she could stop it she was fully laughing, complete with tears. "Meow!" she said through laughter.
A sudden ringing was music to her ears as they both stood up and headed to the next tables. "Okay, last one and then we can go and drink this god forsaken experience away!" Adrien said, downing what was left of his beer.
"Do you have any matches yet?"
"One. You?"
Her heart picked up speed. Could that one be her? She'd matched with him after all, and they were best friends. She attempted to lean over and look at his dating scorecard only to have him move it away. "Cheeky!"
"I've got one too." They stopped beside his next chair both clutching the cards to their chests. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." It suddenly felt like someone had sucked the oxygen out of the air, the two of them starting and her lungs gasping for breath. Could she actually do this? The liquid courage running through her veins cheering her on.
"Oh, excuse me! He's my date now!"
The air suddenly thrust itself back into her body, Adrien blinking and looking away to the table. "I'll see you soon."
Marinette stood and watched as he walked around the table and sat down, her own legs leading her back to her own. Her final date was already waiting, a nervous bounce in his leg taking his knee up and down.
"Sorry about that," Marinette said, slipping back into her seat. "Just had to make a quick stop. I'm Marinette."
"Thank god, you're here. I thought you saw I was next and ran off to hide in the toilets."
Marinette didn't know if he was being serious, or if he was joking. Either way, his smile was mesmerising and he was a very handsome man. It seems the information of her 'wants' hadn't reached this guy. "Oh, I'm Jack, by the way."
They began to talk and Marinette was surprised with how easy conversation came to her. There were no awkward pauses and he was actually a very funny guy - funny and attractive, a killer combo.
A few minutes into the speed date, Marinette looked over to Adrien only to notice he was staring straight back. Not a hint of happiness in his eyes as he stared back at her. She didn't know why he was suddenly so sombre, they'd known each other's identities for years yet there was nothing between them except friendship. It's not like he was going to walk over here, claim her as his own and kiss her senseless on the table.
She looked away from Adrien and down at the object, great... Now all she could think about was Adrien pinning her down on the table. As she tried to keep her mind off Adrien and in the conversation with Jack, Marinette counted down the seconds in her head until she could leave.
Finally, the bell rang and she stood to say her goodbye to Jack. He was a great guy, just not a great guy for her. Checking her dating card, the big black 'X' next to Adrien's number was the only one on her list. She sighed, even after all of this it was still Adrien who stole her heart - would she ever get over him?
Folding the card in half, she slipped it into the matchbox with fear almost freezing her to the spot; that was until a hand came to rest on her lower back. She watched as Adrien dropped his own card through the small slit and then smiled at her.
"I need a drink after that," he confessed, leading her to the doorway.
"Did you not have enough in there?"
"My last date spent the whole time asking where I liked to be stroked the most, what do you think?"
Giggling, Marinette slipped her own arm around Adrien and buried herself into his side. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah me too. So, are you going to tell me who you selected as your match? Was it that last guy?"
"Nu-uh! No telling, not unless it's a match because then I'll need a night off patrol to go on my date."
"I'll be on the edge of my seat waiting."
They continued walking for a while in silence, Adrien's mind in a whirl of who Marinette had chosen and whether he'd be lucky enough to finally get a date with her. Marinette, however, had a different question playing in her mind.
"Out of curiosity, where do you like to be stroked?"
If Adrien could have self combust, he would have exploded all over the ground. That was a conversation to be had either another day... or not at all.
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