Adrien always made a mental note to make it a point that he was numb.
He felt nothing, he gave nothing and at this very moment he took nothing.

As far as he was concerned he was an empty shell, wading through the waves of life. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to an eternity.
Of course it wasn't like so. But when he was suffering, the days were relentless. He felt like he was never going to be himself again.
It was the same thing different day.
Adrien didn't want to live like this if this was going to be his new norm.

"Your stupid smile makes me mad. I could just hit you. "

Her voice was like a sweet song that was stuck inside his head over and over again.
"Take your best shot." He teased her playfully.

He remembered her playful glare and her concentrated expression when she kissed her fist and tapped his jaw very lightly with it.

"Was that the best you got? --Could use a little work."

Marinette never had the strength to give him brutal hits, no matter how much he attempted to push her to it. Even while he was against her during their fights she always went easy on him.
Adrien appreciated how gentle she was, even when he pushed her buttons and she had slapped the crap out of him.
He bruised like a canelope and the play fights they had when she was alive would probably be the thing he missed most about her.

Because they were harmless.

But this fight.
This fight was definitely not one of those fights.

Numb? Yes, emotionally.
Physically? Not entirely so.

Chat found the air knocked out of him the moment his body slammed into the opposing wall of the factory.
He managed to take out most of her zombie army, but every once in a while Lila would jump in, taking him out with a swift punch each time.

Chat wanted not to care, but it was very hard not to at this point.
Whatever happened to him, would happen. That didn't matter. He didn't care about himself anymore.
But at the same time, he couldn't let Lila win. He wouldn't allow Marinette's death to be in vain.

Chat dodged, leaping away from shards of glass that pierced the wall right beside his face.
"Oh!" Chat breathed out. "So close-" he shook his head, throwing his foot into the gut of a police officer zombie who was ordered to hold him down.
Chat extended his weapon, holding on to it as it hoisted him just above the pile of zombies who began to climb up the length of his staff.
Chat lowered himself back on the ground, flipping his staff and throwing the zombies at Lila who was nearly able to dodge most of them.
"Gotta think fast!" Chat teased, wiping blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. The feline climbed on to the broken window pane, cursing as there was glass everywhere.
He wasn't sure which glass belonged to her and which came from the window.
Granted, he didn't want to injure himself on any of them, but he'd rather get poked with one instead of the other.

Lila grunted, throwing a sweet nurse off of her.
She glanced back, glass knocking out of the skin of those she had taken control over.
A lot of them too tired and weak to acknowledge their freedom.

Lila couldn't focus on that right now. Even if it meant losing out on her army, she couldn't stand the cockiness and teasing Chat Noir kept spitting towards her.
All this time Lila though she had him pressed right under her finger. She was almost positive that he was a crumbling time bomb, completely vulnerable and ready to explode.
She intended to use his weakness for her own benefit, she made sure of it.

"Seems like kitty is very cocky..." she spat, her fists clenching as Chat shrugged, a sly smile on his face before he climbed out of the window.

"Looks like you have to catch me!" He called out towards her.

Lila grit her teeth. She was not going to play games.
Immediately the brunette took after him.
She reached up towards her earrings, picking them apart and lacing the glass against her knuckles.
"You want to play this game, Chat?" She mused, shooting the pieces towards him with malicious force. "We'll play that game-"

Chat glanced back, his heart racing as he bounced from building to building.
The pieces whisked past him, his hair moving with its trajectory as he was lucky enough to dodge as many hits as he could.
He jammed his weapon into the side of a building, leaping in between them in an attempt to hide himself.
The feline continued to move, wondering the ways he could grab her akuma. He wouldn't know how to purify it, but he had hoped he could get it away from her until he could figure something out.
Chat paused, his eyes widening as he saw Lila on the other side of the building. He turned, attempting to move away, but couldn't as Lila grabbed his tail and slammed him back into the wall.

Chat grunted in pain, the soreness immediately shooting throughout his body.
Her grit his teeth, retracting his weapon and immediately aiming it towards her.
The weapon extended, slamming into her stomach, throwing her back a few feet.
Chat turned, lowering himself back on the ground before he continued to run pausing by a lamp post and climbing up the pile, before he began to leap from light to light.
He breathed out, worrying it was a little too risky to be on the ground.
He had no idea where he had dropped her, but he knew she could have been anywhere.
Chat was growing so tired of her.
So so tired of her. If he ever lived through this, he was more than sure that he didn't care to see her ever again.
Akumatized or not, she killed his wife.

That was something he had to live with forever.

_________________________________________

Alya sighed, watching the barista pour her cup. She crossed her arms, feeling incredibly antsy as she just wanted her drink so she could return to work.
She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, distracted for only a moment as she heard a bit of commotion outside.
She paid no mind to it.

She had a lot of things in her mind that she wanted to sort out. She shared coffee in this very same restaurant with Marinette. It was there go to spot.

Alya was slowly coming to terms with Marinette's death, but it was incredibly sad.
She knew that if Adrien wouldn't keep well to his problem, she and Nino would.
Louis was going to be cared for by them as much as they could. Alya and Nino really did love Louis, but Alya wondered if it was enough.
She worried that Louis was going down a dark path, and no matter how much she and Nino wished to shield him away from it, that fate started to seem inevitable.

"Alya..." the barista called, placing her cup against the counter.
Alya glanced up, offering him a weak smile before she grabbed her cup and hauled out the door.

The brunette barely got two sips of her coffee when she was forcefully pushed out of the way and back against the door of the shop.
She gasped, her cheeks turning red as she spilled a bit of her coffee on her blouse.
She sighed, glancing up at the commotion.
Alya moved her way through, her eyes catching glimpses of the media, news stations and bystanders watching in horror.
Alya furrowed her brow, her eyes straining to see what the commotion was all about.
Her grey eyes widened as she spotted Chat fly through the side of a building.
She flinched as glass poured everywhere.
Alya trembled, watching Chat nearly fall to the ground before Lila caught him and threw him across the road.
Chat skidded against the pavement, remaining a grunting heap against the ground.
Lila gripped him once more, throwing him around like he was some sort of toy, and each time she made sure he landed back down harder and harder.

Alya immediately turned away, seeing where this was heading, especially with the media crowding around them.
She grabbed her phone, dialing Nino's number in her phone and then pressing it to her ear.
She paced around nervously, sighing as it felt like Nino was taking forever to respond.

"Hey-" Nino greeted on the other line.

"Nino!" Alya immediately interjected. "Make sure all the doors are locked, closed the windows and whatever you do, please make sure that Louis stays away from the tv."

Nino stuttered on the other line, already set to follow orders but was very confused.
"W-Why? Alya what happened?"

_________________________________________

Chat was almost sure he lost this battle, and mostly he was drifting in and out.
He was in a great deal of pain, and just as he was sure to get back on his feet Lila would throw him across Paris like he was some sort of rag doll.

Chat fell into the ground, his body rolling against the grass before he smacked into something hard and cold.
He breathed out, the taste of blood in his mouth becoming overwhelming.

Chat glanced up, feeling his cheek swelling up slightly from the hit. He pushed his fists into the ground, attempting to get up. A sharp pain radiated through his shoulder and Chat dropped back into the grass once more.
Chat's cat like ears flickered, his heart hammering as he could hear Lila's laugh. The brunette landed on a lamp post a few feet away from him.

"Look at that!" She chirped excitedly. She picked the glass from her earrings, reloading her ammo into her knuckles once more.
"This looks veeerrrryyy familiar. It seems its fate! You are exactly where you belong..." she bit her lip, a small giggle emanating from her lips.

Chat frowned, the pain beginning to fade. Anger quickly began to fuel his veins, and Chat opened his eyes. He reached up, grabbing anything as a leverage to help him up before Lila could attack him again.
He grabbed on to a cool substance and Chat mistook it as a rock or some sort of monument.

His heart sank the moment he realized that it was a tombstone. His eyes widened, fear etching on his face as he saw her name.
Chat didn't even realize he had been thrown into the cemetery where Marinette was laid to rest.

Lila was trying to get under his skin again. She had thrown him here on purpose. She wanted to break him by reminding him.

As if he wasn't already haunted by the memory of it every time he slept or in his everyday life, here she was rubbing it in his face.
She kicked him down and spat on it.
Chat kept his eyes on Marinette's tombstone, his face falling immediately.
He could hear Lila's laugh very faintly behind him, and Chat was more than sure she was going to attack him.

" Mommy would do anything to save you-"
Marinette's voice echoed in his head.
His mind immediately began to race.

"I'm pregnant-"

Her voice running through his head over and over.

His brow furrowed, his eyes growing dull as the memory of her laying beside him in bed.
She glanced up at him, a weary smile on her face.
"My love"

Chat couldn't cry anymore and no matter what he did, he couldn't accept that the girl he loved ever since he was fourteen was gone.
She was not coming back. She was taken away from him for good.

Because of Lila.

All because of Lila.
As if she felt she had the right to purposely take someone's life and constantly laugh about it.

Chat stood up, a cold hard stare festering in his orbs as he glared up at her.
His face remained impassive as Chat had become numb, once again.

Chat coldly extended his weapon, the blunt object immediately plowing violently into Lila's face.

Lila grunted in pain, not entirely expecting Chat to retaliate so fast. Lila saw stars, her hands reaching up to grab her face as she lost her balance and fell backwards straight into the ground.

Chat began to drag his weapon against the ground. He kept his eyes on Lila as she rolled over to her stomach. She crawled up on her hands and knees, blood pouring from her nose as the bruise began to swell.
Her eyes widened as Chat approached her from behind. She immediately began to crawl away, but Chat had a hold of the back of her suit.

Chat lifted her, grunting as he threw her over his shoulder.

    Lila immediately began to kick and scratch. She was losing blood profusely and she was growing more and more weak.
    Chat glanced up at the Eiffel tower. With a one track mind, he pushed past the crowds of people who began to surround them with pictures and questions.
  
  Alya glanced up at Chat, a frown growing on her lips as if Chat showed no emotion.
  He was like a robot, just doing what he programmed to do.

Alya couldn't understand. He had her in his grasp. The akuma was right in his grasp.
   Why wasn't he grabbing it?

What was he doing?

   The brunette pressed her lips together, her heart racing as she watched Chat approached the Eiffel tower and began to climb up the structure very slowly, purposely dropping Lila on each leverage as he made his way to the top.

   Alya had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Chat!" She called out, immediately taking off after him.  "Don't!"

Chat threw Lila up on the last floor of the tower, landing right beside her.
   The blonde turned, his green eyes glowering towards the ledge where he last saw Marinette.

  It was an eerie feeling, to be back where he was the day when his reason for living completely ended.
Lila groaned behind him, coughing as the bleeding finally stopped but she was dizzy.

   "Looks familiar doesn't it..." Chat murmured, his eyes fixated on the location in front of him.
  His eyes remained wide, almost traumatized as he could see Marinette right there, looking at him with tears in her eyes before she leapt off on Lila's order.

    "You just like to gloat, don't you?" Lila mused, slowly rolling to her back so she could look up at him.
  "Throw me around, and then take my akuma, huh? I guess I underestimated you..." she reached up to wipe some blood away from her face.

   Chat blinked, each time he blinked the silhouette of Marinette faded away.

"No..." He breathed out softly before redirecting his gaze towards Lila.

  "Take your akuma?" He repeated to himself, shaking his head. "I think I have a better idea."

  Lila paused, furrowing her brow. She slowly smiled, glancing up at him.
"What? Decided to give up?" She asked, chuckling as she attempted to stand up but couldn't.

   Chat slowly approached her, his gaze towards her still empty. "Yes. I'm giving up...." He conceded, lifting his hand palm up so she could get a good look at it. "This superhero thing isn't for me anymore...."

   Lila widened her eyes, chuckling as a smile grew on her face.
   Perhaps she'd finally manipulated him far enough for him to willingly give his jewels. It was a piece of cake.
   Sure she got dinged up and bruised along the way, but it was well worth it.
All she would need is Ladybugs earrings and the deal would be done.
Surely if Chat Noir wasn't around, Ladybug would come out of hiding and then Lila would have her trapped.
  She couldn't work without Chat, it would be easy as pie to grab her earrings then.

    "You don't have to be a hero..." Lila murmured. "You can give your ring to me, and all the responsibility is gone." She smiled. "Give up your miraculous."

   Chat moved closer to her, his eyes looking down at her as his gaze grew more menacing.
   Lila blinked, her smile fading as she noticed his stare.

  "That's not how this is going to play out, Lila..." Chat muttered, clenching his fist as he called his cataclysm.
  A black mass formed around his fist as he activated his power.

   Lila's eyes widened, her heart beginning to pound in her chest.

"What...you're going to kill me?" She asked, perking a brow.
 
  Chat faced his palm towards her, his glare growing harder.
   "Exactly. You're dead, Lila..."

  "Chat, stop!" Alya called from behind the hero. "This isn't you!" She breathed, her eyes wide.
  Chat's grip on Lila only grew tighter. He wasn't going to let up.
  
  Alya ran towards them, grabbing Chat's arm and wedging herself between the two of them, forcing Chat to drop Lila.
   "What would Louis think?" Alya whispered, her eyes looking into Chat's eyes.  "He looks up to you..."

  Chat's expression only darkened, his brow furrowing. "No, he doesn't..." his eyes flickered back to Lila who began to scoot away.
  
  "Killing her isn't what you need to do..."Alya whispered. "Louis would be dissapointed. How do you think Marinette would feel?"

  Chat shook his head, his palm still up and ready to use.
   "Murderers need to die..." He muttered coldly.

   Alya widened her eyes, her heart aching as she was beginning to see what Chat had become.
   "So you'll become a murderer too? Look, we are all mourning, Chat. We miss Marinette, we all wished we could have done something to save her...but we have to keep moving forward. We need to keep her name alive by doing whats right and holding to her promise. Don't let her death be in vain."

   Chat grit his teeth. He couldn't accept it.
  The only way to end his pain was to get rid of Lila.
It was an eye for an eye. He was suffering, so now her family gets to suffer too. His green eyes glanced over towards Lila, who had managed to take advantage of the distraction and laced glass into her knuckles, aiming it straight towards Alya's back.
   Lila immediately shot the pieces towards Alya.
  Chat immediately wrapped his arm around her, throwing them both out of the trajectory. Alya grunted as they both rolled on to the ground.

   Chat pulled himself away from Alya awkwardly. He jumped to his feet, his heart racing as Lila ran towards the ledge and escaped.

  "Damn it!" Chat cursed through his teeth, glaring back at Alya who just got back on her feet with a grimace.

  "You saved her life, and she was still willing to screw you over." Chat breathed. "You wanted to defend that?!"

   Alya blinked, she knew he was right, but she wasn't going to let him kill her either way.
   "There's got to be a different way. You kill her, then you're just like her!"

   Chat grit his teeth, shaking his head before he used his other hand to grab his weapon. He extended it, leaping away from the tower in an attempt to find her.

   Alya stood on top of the tower, completely helpless as she watched Chat dissapear into the sky.

_________________________________________

   The sky had seemed to darken, and Chat came up empty. He knew Lila wouldn't be stupid enough to return to her hiding spot.
He was growing frustrated. He returned to the abandoned factory just in case, but to no avail. She was not there.

   Chat sighed, landing on top of a roof. He glanced around, desperate to see Ladybug anywhere when he felt alone. But there was no one.

It was empty, he felt empty.
  Chat shook his head, leaping in the direction towards him home.
The blonde landed in the back of his home, he nudged the window open, climbing into his bedroom.
   He shut the window behind him, his heart aching as he was starting to feel again.
   The bed remained the same. Marinette's side of the bed remained untouched. The hero was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

He wasn't strong enough. He couldn't do this without her. He didn't want to do this without her.

   It was his fault. Had he not given her the earrings for a gift, she would have been able to save herself.

   Chat breathed out, almost reaching up to pull his hair out.
  He paused, pulling his hand back to glare at it.

His cataclysm was still wrapped around his hand, and Adrien truly felt himself go into a dark place.
   The blonde sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes glancing up at the diamond stud earrings that sat on the bedside table.
   The earrings Marinette wore when she was killed.
   The earrings he gave her. The earrings she chose to wear when her life was ended because of him.

Chat breathed out, his eyes watering as he could just barely see Marinette in the bed beside him.
   She smiled, reaching out to him just before she dissapeared.

He missed her.
   He missed her so much. He missed the way she reached out to him. He missed how antsy she got and how clumsy she was.
  He missed the way she said his name.

He missed having her beside him. He was so empty, and he felt so guilty.

Chat couldn't do it, he just didn't have the strength to continue.

   Chat breathed out, facing his palm towards himself in a swift motion to press it against his chest. He was going to end it all. He wouldn't feel this pain anymore.

    Chat opened his eyes, the moment he felt someone grab his wrist, preventing him from moving any further.
   His eyes glanced down, ready to push whoever it was away but paused.

    Louis looked up at Chat, his eyes widened with tears as he was about to witness his father end his life right in front of him.
   Chat relaxed, his eyes watching his son who cried, his face eerily close to his cataclysm.

   "N-no more..." Louis cried softly. "You won't do it anymore, right?" He asked, his words a little broken from his babble. His cheeks grew pink as the toddler sighed.

Chat felt his heart sink.  
    He was just a dissapointment after dissapointment.
Chat wasn't aware when Louis had stumbled into his room, but he was glad he did.
   Chat reached over, placing his hand on the diamond stud earrings on the bedside table, disintegrating them into dust within seconds.
   Louis' blue eyes glossened with tears as he watched his father look back at him.
   Chat wrapped his arms around Louis, bringing him to his chest and hugging him tightly. His body trembled, he couldn't fight the pain any longer. He squeezed his son tightly, crying into him.

_________________________________________

  A/N: unbeta'd sorry for any grammatical errors. I admit this was poorly written. Been having trouble getting my imagination into writing.