He was in pain.

Physically and emotionally. He didn't realize that losing someone besides his mom would completely break him. He was too much in fear to find out.

Adrien couldn't remember much of Marinette's funeral. All he could remember was the sound of Sabine's cries, Alya barely able to stand, and the peaceful look on Marinette's face before the casket was closed and she was put six feet under.
Adrien craved to be where she was. He wanted to lay in the ground with her. He wanted to make sure there was room inside for the both of them.
He often found himself just staring at her tombstone. It was like he was stuck in a trance. He was truly in a nightmare he was waiting to wake up from.

Adrien wanted to hide away. He couldn't eat, he had trouble staying asleep, and he found that he had trouble focusing on Louis.
When he wasn't crying, he was hiding under blankets. Because he was up all night screaming, he spent most of his days sleeping.

He didn't feel alive, and most nights he couldn't stop seeing his love leap to her death over and over again. It was traumatic. Adrien tetered on the brink of suicide. It was becoming too much for him.

Adrien couldn't escape solitude. He loved his son, but the grieving was so much worse. He contemplated fusing the miraculous together to bring Marinette back, but he remembered his late fiance explaining to him that if he wishes for a certain thing, he'll lose something else.
Adrien would be back at square one. He'd be choosing between Marinette and something or someone else he loved. He couldn't take that chance in case it was Louis.
Adrien would have gathered his strength to talk to Tikki for her wisdom but she had disappeared back into the miraculous the moment Marinette died.

Either way, he was sent back to the beginning.

He started as nothing, and now he was back to nothing.

"A-as an inspiring fashion designer...one should be able to conjure designs for all body types...."

Adrien's eyes shot open, glancing up at the ceiling of his bedroom at the sound of Marinette's voice in his head. Adrien could see her sitting beside him, sketching maternity designs in their old classroom when he learned that she was pregnant.

" I imagine pregnant women like nice clothing too." She smiled, glancing over at him bashfully.

Adrien froze, his heart aching at the memory.
He closed his eyes, tears stinging his eyes as he turned over in bed. He pulled the blanket over him.

"I wanted to know if you'd like to hang out with me after school today. I'd like to get to know you better."
Adrien frowned at the memory of his own voice. He remembered how conflicted she was when he had offered to take her out.
He remembered each and every cute freckle on her face. The way her bangs caressed her face, and the way she'd look away or look down when he was incredibly bashful around him.

"What?" She asked, her expression remaining confused, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

She was just so cute.

"Do you want to hang out with me after school?"
Adrien's voice rang in his own head at the memory of him having to repeat himself, and he remembered that eager nod she gave him with that sweet smile she always had.

Adrien clutched on to the blankets, his soul aching. He buried his face into the pillows, his tears finally falling freely down his cheeks.

_________________________________________

Alya placed food in front of young Louis.
She sighed, placing her towel to the side. Her eyes glaring down at the letter from the doctor that lay torn open on the dining room table.
The results of the confirmation of a pregnancy from the doctor was bittersweet, but horribly unfortunate.
Two lives were lost that day, and from the looks of it, Alya was sure Adrien was next.
He was not taking care of himself, or Louis. She knew that he was grieving, but he had to pull it together for the one thing he had left of Marinette.
Their only child.

Louis sat at the dinner table by himself, a grimace on his face as he poked at his food.
He still couldn't quite understand what had happened to his mother, but he knew that he wasn't going to see her again and he missed her terribly.
"Momma..." He whimpered softly, not feeling that hungry anymore. Louis looked to his father's closed bedroom door.
The little one felt alone. His mother wasn't around, and neither was his father. He enjoyed Alya's company as she came over every once in awhile to come in and care for him when Adrien was too much of a mess to get back on his feet.

Plagg sat beside the youngster. He too was at a loss for words. He had been through so many chosen ones, and none of them hurt as much as this one.
Plagg also lost someone he cared about.
Tikki was his favourite counterpart, she balanced him out in ways that Marinette did for Adrien.
Sure, the two always bickered around playfully, but those were the moments he enjoyed the most. Tikki was his best friend, and aside from Adrien his only close friend. He adored Louis, but even after seeing how cold Adrien was being, the little kwami couldn't help but to feel hurt for him.
Adrien only withdrew himself from his family, his friends, and even neglected to do his heroic duties in tracking down Lila especially know she was still out there with the potential to do more harm.
Adrien became indifferent to Plagg, he rarely fed him, or talked to him, and most times Plagg felt like Adrien never even saw him there.
Plagg floated up to Louis' shoulders, looking at the little toddler with a grimace.

Alya glanced down at her watch, her other hand on her hip as she was beginning to grow querulous at Adrien's lack of appearance.

The brunette stormed off to his bedroom, opening the door loud enough to cause a bit of a stir out of Adrien who just lay in his bed.
Adrien sighed, sitting up and looking at Alya.

By reading her expression, Adrien was sure enough prepared for a lecture. It was midday and he skipped out on work for a few days, and on the days he had someone over, he would just crawl and whither away in bed.

"Adrien, it's been two weeks. I understand that you are in a substantial amount of pain, but you are a parent. You have to be there for Louis. You need to get back on your feet and move on with your life. Marinette would have wanted that." Alya sighed, glancing up at Adrien who stared at her blankly.

He was emotionless, it was as if he had cried everything that was left to cry.

"Adrien...? Was this a date?"
Marinette's voice rang like a bell in his head as he slipped back into the memory of the time Adrien had taken her out to dinner by the Eiffel tower.

"Do you want to do this again sometime?"

Adrien blinked, his heart sinking once more as he remembered at how much awe and admiration he had for her. And now she was gone.

She had somehow slipped through his fingers yet again.

"I really like you, Marinette..." He breathed, tears finally slipping from his eyes as he recalled the things he had said to her that night on their first date.

_________________________________________

  Luka sighed as he began to place all of Marinette's belongings into a box.
   "You Would think Audrey would have her staff throw everything out in this room, instead of letting us take it." He commented, picking up photos of baby Louis from Marinette's desk and gently placing it into a box.  "I guess she does have a heart after all..."

   Nino shrugged, folding fabrics of a lot of Marinette's unfinished designs. He stood up, watching how Marinette's old office was becoming emptier and emptier by the second.
   "Honestly, it could just be because Marinette was supposed to be an Agreste." Nino conceded, his eyes glancing back to Luka who looked at Marinette's sketches with a pained expression.

   "I can't imagine Adrien having to do this. It hurts me to look at all of her stuff and I wasn't even about to marry her..." Luka frowned. "But she was still very important to me. I just wished that I had told her how important she was to me when she was alive..." Luka closed her sketchbook, leaning down to place it in a box.

Nino looked down, placing some of Marinette's things to the side before he approached Luka and placed a hand on his shoulder.

   "We have to be strong..." He murmured, his expression solemn. "For both Adrien and Louis. If we don't, then Adrien will let himself die. Louis already feels lost. If he loses Adrien too, he'll truly have no one."

Luka sighed, looking down at the ground before he nodded, and then looked up at Nino.

"You're right, it just feels like a really bad dream that I hope I soon forget or wake up from..."

Nino nodded, patting Luka on the shoulder before returning back to Marinette's station of unfinished projects.
  "I hear you-" he commented, wondering how Alya was holding up around Adrien. Nino had to come up with a place to put all of Marinette's stuff. He was aware that the mere sight of it would crush Adrien to pieces.

_________________________________________

  Adrien couldn't fully understand how life went on without the only thing that gave him a will to live.
   The blonde poured coffee into a mug, the lines under his eyes deepening.

Louis sat in front of the tv, watching cartoons with the blanket his mother made for him.
   The toddler glanced over at Adrien, a small frown on his face as he was almost too nervous to ask his father if he could have a snack, or get read a bedtime story. His mother used to read them all the time until he was asleep.
  Not having Marinette around was hard for Louis to adjust to as well.

   Alya reached over, handing Louis one of his stuffed toys. She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his head before tucking the blanket, in case he was ready for a nap.
   Alya returned to the kitchen, watching Adrien stir his coffee before taking a sip.

The model was well dressed, as it was something customary for him to do. His hair was swept perfectly the way he always had it, but his features remained indifferent.

Alya frowned at his lack of emotion as well as his appearance of health.

"You've gotten skinny, Adrien..." Alya murmured, crossing her arms.

Adrien paused, not entirely realizing that he had been losing weight due to lack of appetite. But this was normal for people who were morning such a huge loss.
   The blonde shrugged it off, reaching over to grab a piece of bread from the plate that Alya had purchased from her late friends family bakery.
  "It's been a rough two weeks..." the blonde deadpanned, the stress lines under his eyes deepening.
Alya nodded, her head dropping to the ground.
  "I get it...But we should really focus on Louis. He needs to see you take care of yourself. Don't kill yourself in front of him. He can't grieve both parents at once."

Adrien looked up at Alya his expression remaining impassive. He took a small bite out of the bread, his shoulders shrugged.
  "Noted." He deadpanned, the back of his mind wandering to Marinette as the bread did taste familiar.
  He didn't hear much from Marinette's mother, but Tom did often stop by to check in on Louis a lot the last few days which Adrien was grateful for.

  Alya rolled her eyes, not feeling much emotion from Adrien lately. He was like a walking corpse. Alya knew she could only go so far with him.
  The brunette grabbed her bag and placed it over her shoulder.
 
"Nino and Luka have some stuff to bring over tomorrow. We'll be in to check in on you. Don't forget to feed Louis and yourself." She lectured.

Adrien nodded, almost offended that Alya would imply that he'd forget to care for his own son.
   "Yeah..." His voice trailed off as he just stared at her. "Thanks for your help. We'll both be alive when you guys visit." He offered her a dead smile.

Alya sighed, shaking her head before she turned over and walked into the living space. She looked back at Louis who cuddled with his stuffed toy.
  She opened the door, pausing as she noticed Nathalie walking up the narrow pathway to the front door.
Alya pressed her lips together, not totally wanting to be apart of Nathalie's  potential intervention.
   The woman looked down at Alya her eyes scrutinizing over her before Alya offered her a weak smile.
  "Good luck." She breathed, ushering herself out the door.

Nathalie watched Alya haul ass out of the walkway and she then allowed herself in.
   Adrien glanced up, catching Nathalie walking through the door and closing it behind her.

"What- are you doing here...?" Adrien asked, feeling unsure. His green eyes glared up at Nathalie as she approached him.

   "Your father is concerned. No one has seen you in almost two weeks. You aren't showing up to work....you don't visit..." Nathalie replied.

Adrien nodded, dipping his bread into his coffee, remaining impassive.
   "So you mean my father is looking for his marketing device." He sighed, leaning against the counter of his kitchen.

Nathalie sighed, shaking her head as she expected that response from him.
    "You know, when your father lost your mother, he often worked to keep himself occupied. It took away from his pain, and he produced great things." She encouraged, her eyes looking down at Adrien's bread as he dipped it into his coffee.

   Adrien nodded, a soft hum emitting from his throat.
  "Oh, right. That's why he never leaves his house then..." He deadpanned in response.

Nathalie leaned on to the counter, placing her hands on to the countertop.
   "What I'm saying is, it's a good idea to get out and get back into your normal routine. Staying in here and wallowing in your sadness, won't get you anywhere. You'll only bring yourself down. I know its hard, but you have to do it. It's your responsibility." She explained.  "You don't want to make your father anymore upset than he is..."

Adrien rolled his eyes.
   Why did he care if his father was upset?
  His father never cared for him. Adrien expected his father of all people to care.  To understand what He was experiencing.

But Adrien remembered one thing.

That his father would never change, no matter how hard he tried to.
   The model glanced up at Nathalie with a blank expression.
"So whose going to watch my son?" He asked.

   Louis looked up at Nathalie with a grimace. He buried himself into the sofa, hiding beneath the blanket.
He just wanted his mother.

_________________________________________

    "There's still no sign of Ladybug or Chat Noir..." Lila sighed, her hands on her hips as she stood on top of a building.
   She had gotten wind of an abandoned factory just outside of Paris. She had set refugee there, all of the people she had captures with shards of glass remained with her there.

   "Perhaps I should return to Paris to stir up some stuff. That'll sure lure them..." She sighed, turning over to look at an open window. The female poked her head inside, her eyes glistening over her army of zombies.
For a moment, Lila had forgotten they were real people. People that had been missing from Paris for weeks.
She was causing families pain as they were searching for their loved ones.
They were starved, they were weak and if Lila had to let them die as well, then she would.
   The female laughed, glancing back to look at the Eiffel tower in the distance. She rubbed her chin, glaring at the symbol of Paris.

"Maybe I need to go back and recruit..." her voice low and menacing.
A purple ray flashed just in front of her eyes, and Hawkmoth was in her head instantly.
   "That's my girl...." He murmured.

_________________________________________

    Adrien stood in his dressing room. He could barely hear the commotion going on behind the door.
  He didn't really care for the lifestyle anymore. He wasn't ready to return to work either and Adrien had a sour taste in his mouth. This room had way too many memories for him.

   His green eyes glanced over to the rack of clothes that he had modeled for over the course of three months.
   Adrien could almost spot Marinette standing in the middle of the room, fiddling with the dress that she wore during their first photoshoot together.
   He remembered the sofa that she held him close to her chest while they made love.
It was also the same room he had last saw Lila in. On the other side, Adrien could see Marinette standing in the doorway with her sundress and flats. Her hair would be in a cute bun on the top of her head and with a genuine smile, she'd open her arms out to him.

    "It's like I can see her in every piece of my life..." Adrien whispered, feeling Plagg poke his head up from the collar of his shirt.
   Plagg glanced around the dressing room before he floated up towards Adrien's face to meet him eye level.

"I say we ditch this place..." the kwami muttered, his forehead puckering in distaste.

   Adrien sighed, wandering over to the racks. His fingers casually ran through the hangers, his eyes lowering to the wedding dress Marinette had modeled.
    The blonde immediately pulled away, an unbearable pain in his chest. His green eyes turned over towards Plagg who looked up at him with a grimace.

    "Yeah, I can't do this..." Adrien murmured, looking around for a window somewhere. He didn't care if he had to jump. Adrien wasn't really feeling like Chat Noir, and he knew that he leapt from the window as himself, he'd plummet to his death.
   It was a similarity he wasn't quite fond of.
   "Alright Plagg. Just get me to the bottom, and I can walk from there. If I get hit by a bus, I'm fine with that too." He joked coldly.

   Plagg rolled his eyes, crossing his small arms as he floated closer to him.
  "J-Just....say the words already."

   Adrien grinned, turning over to open the window. He peaked through, looking at the busy city below, hundreds of feet away. He glanced up, looking at the clouds in the sky and he sighed.
   "Plagg, claws out..." He murmured, his voice a little less than enthusiastic.
It only took moments, and in a flash of green, Chat Noir had climbed out of the window and whisked himself away without being seen.
   Chat had landed in an alleyway safely. He undid his transformation and soon Adrien walked back on to the streets.
   Plagg remained hidden in his collar, occassionally glancing up to console Adrien when he was about ready to go off the deep end.
  The blonde stuck his hands in his pockets. He was intent on going home, but he couldn't help but to wonder if part of Nathalie's advice was right.
His friends had been constantly bitching lately that he was sulking. He was neglecting Louis as a father, and neglecting himself as a person. He knew that some time would heal his pain and perhaps some distractions could do him good, but the thought of leaving his home to continue life almost felt impossible.
   Life will go on without Marinette whether he liked it or not, but a life without Marinette or Ladybug was not a life he wanted to live.
Adrien almost felt numb, he was weak, he was tired and mostly he was dead. He was going through the motions instead of living life, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that was how he always lived.
   He was ashamed, he took things for granted and he didn't realize it until it was too late.
   Adrien reached up to run his hand through his hair. He pressed his lips together, suppressing the pain that threatened to immerse him.

   "You know, even when you don't try. You are absolutely breathtaking..." a voice emanated from behind him.

Adrien paused, knowing that voice all too well.
    He turned around, his eyes connecting with Lila's, and for a brief moment he felt rage.

"Hm..." He muttered, his eyes looking below before they wandered back to her face again.
  "Thanks." He replied sarcastically. "Got a new diet to pair it with..." He looked at her coldly, his heart racing as he turned away and began to walk.

Lila chuckled as Adrien coldly turned away from her and began walking down the narrow street.
   "You know, I've come to see you for a reason..." Lila inquired, slowly sauntering her way in his direction.

Adrien pursed his lips and he nodded, catching her eye as she walked beside him.
   "Oh? So you've come to kill me too?" He asked, his brow perking. It wasn't like he hated the idea anyway.

   Lila rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she had expected Adrien to be this way towards her. She killed his wife. Lila had the mindset that she had just gotten rid of a problem. Since the very first time she met Marinette, she was a problem.
She had always said that if Marinette wasn't in the picture, Adrien would finally get his priorities in order.

   "Need I remind you that I can manipulate time and mind..." Lila chuckled, standing in front of him.
  She slowly wrapped her arms around him. "I can help you forget this pain..." her eyes glanced down. "And of course, congrats on your weight loss. You look incredibly good." She chuckled, pulling away from him, the smirk on her face still in good posture. "But yes, I'm the manipulator you've always sought me out to be. It's too bad I don't have a villainous name like everyone else..." She murmured, pursing her lips.

Adrien stared at her blankly, anger rattling his veins before he opened his mouth to speak.
  "Murderer sounds like a fitting one for someone as disgusting as you, Lila..." He replied coldly.

Lila widened her eyes briefly before they narrowed. Her fists clenched and she turned to face him.
  "You know you're bold..." Lila murmured through her teeth. She reached up, pulling shards from her earrings and lacing them around her knuckles. "Especially knowing what I'm capable of doing to you. We can see whose acting coldly when I get those jewels to Hawkmoth and everyone in Paris is enslaved to me forever..."

   Adrien kept his cold gaze on her.
With his heart slowing down in his chest he approached her, moving in on her until she was cornered against a wall.
   "And what will happen after that?" Adrien asked, his brow perking. "Hawkmoth gets rid of you after using you for what he needs, and your life will still be as empty as the day you became a murderer..." the model replied, the lines under his eyes deepening.
   "And then you'll be just as empty as I am, when everything you've ever lived for is pulled out right from underneath you..."

Lila kept her gaze firm on Adrien, her heart racing in slight fear as she had seen something in him that she didn't see there before.
   The two remained still, glaring at each other before Adrien pulled back and turned away.
  Without another word, he began to continue walking his way home.

Lila watched him, her eyes staring into his back at his words swam around in her head.
   Hawkmoth wouldn't just get rid of her once he had the jewels...would He?  
   Lila shook her head,  ridding those thoughts. She was the manipulator. She wasn't going to let Adrien get into her head.

   "Leave him be..." Hawkmoth's voice rang in Lila's head as he spoke to her. "Resume your mission into finding Ladybug and Chat Noir..."

Lila nodded, hesitantly turning away but not before looking back.

  Adrien briskly walked along the pavement, his eyes staring directly in front of him.
   Plagg poked his head up, looking at Adrien with a grimace.

"A-A-Are you Okay?" The kwami asked, feeling anxious of the answer.

Adrien paused, a small smile appearing on his face as he formulated a new goal in life.
   "Of course..." a menacing grin appearing on his lips that almost made Plagg cower in fear.
 
"I've never felt better..."

_________________________________________

A/N: Y'all Okay?
Anyone trust me on this yet?