❁Getting Closer❁
Mew's POV
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I stood in disbelieve watching Gulf running away, I was so stunned that I didn't know how to react, I slowly made my way back to the castle but was completely out of it and couldn't focus for the rest of the party, of course everyone noticed my strange behavior but I lied saying I'm just tired, when I got back to my room I sat on my bed still trying to understand what Gulf just said
He clearly said he loves me, I'm sure I heard it right, he looked sad and hurt and even apologized, during the party I noticed him talking to Leo but as soon as Leo walked away I saw him running out, I got worried and rushed after him, I was shocked to find him crying, but I never thought that he would confess to me like that, he said he love me so much, he loves me like the BL couple in the manga I read
I sat looking to my sleeping wolves while I was still dumbfounded looking up not being able to sleep, Gulf is my close friend, wait? Is this why he avoided me before? Is it because he has feeling for me that he gets all shy? It explain why I don't him getting embarrassed with anyone else, my head is a mess, I can't think straight, I don't know what to do either
I spend the next week in a daze, I didn't get to see Gulf almost at all, just a couple of times when he was going out and back to the castle, he spent all his day in the medical house and honestly I really hated that I couldn't see or talk to him, I felt so empty and depressed and couldn't focus on anything, my mind was only full of Gulf's confession that kept ringing in my ears, somehow another week passed without contacting each other at all
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"Mew, isn't it time to tell me what's wrong?" Leo started
"I was going to ask too, you've been so down and barely talked, you didn't even got out of the castle once for half a month" Jay added, I sighed
"it's a little personal problem I want to solve myself but I want to take your advice"
"sure, tell us everything" Leo said
"well, I got confessed by someone, but I'm not sure how to answer them" they looked surprised for moment then smiled widely
"I knew my brother will be popular, well, it's not about how you answer" Jay started
"it's all about your own feeling, so you feel attracted to that person?" I thought for a while, am I attracted to Gulf? We are close and I sometimes find him funny when he gets shy, he is good-looking and has a calming gentle smile and honest look
"yes, I think I am"
"how good is that person's personality?" Jay asked this time, I don't have to think about this
"they have an amazing personality, I even trust them" they looked astonished for a moment
"and the most important question is, do you love person?"
"I don't know, well I'm sure I don't hate them" Jay and Leo glanced to each other
"did it feel disturbing when they confessed?" Jay asked
"not disturbing but so surprising"
"did it feel bad in anyway?" Leo asked
"no, it didn't feel bad or wrong or anything" they smiled
"then you should just get closer to that person and see how you will react after that confession, whether you will get embarrassed, how your heart will beat, you will surely feel it if you fell for them, just don't think about it and follow your heart" Leo asked
"that's to be expected from someone who is getting married by the end of next month" Jay joked making Leo glare to him a little
"shut up, I can't wait to see you fall in love and start behaving strangely and crazily"
"I can't wait either!" Jay said making them laugh, I think I must do it, I don't want things to stay like this between me and Gulf, just not talking for two weeks already is making me extremely depressed and lonely, I know he will surely ran away from me but I will make him talk to me even if I have to kidnap him
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Since that conversation, I've been trying to approach Gulf, but as soon as he spot me, he runs away so fast and hide somewhere or join some group and makes it impossible for me to get closer and this was making me so frustrating, I was perplexed not knowing how to get Gulf, I couldn't find a single chance to get closer to him and it made me even sadder than before
Surprisingly, my knights understand what I was doing and Finn started following Gulf around while Fang stayed with me, two days like that passed, on the third day, I saw Finn leading Gulf somewhere out of the castle, I thought she took him to check on some injured animal she found, I was glad that he still treated my wolves so lovingly, he even treated everyone else so normal like usual, I'm the only exception since he loves me
About one hour later, Fang came and started dragging me out to the forest, but he walked through a different path and I quietly followed him, when we arrived to where he wanted we started walking slowly, I was puzzled at first but then I noticed Gulf sitting close to the flowers while treating a rabbit and murmuring smth while smiling faintly, he then started patting on the rabbit staring at the blue flowers, he had a sorrowful little smile, he looked a little pale and tired
Seeing him like that made me feel down too, I don't want him to look like that, I miss the cheerful and friendly Gulf who made me feel so happy and comfortable, Fang went and joined Finn sitting my Gulf's other side while I kept starring at them from afar for while, this can't do, I need to talk to Gulf and discover my feelings, I slowly and quietly walked toward him so that he wouldn't notice me and ran away
"Gulf" I softly said when I was right behind him, I noticed him flinching and freezing for a moment he then started to get up but I held him down, even Fang and Finn held him back making him a bit stunned
"please, let's talk"
"I-I have no-nothing to say" he said with a cracked scared voice
"I do, so please just listen... that night, when you confessed, I was so surprised and I didn't know what to say or how to react since I've never thought that you would have romantic feelings for me, to be honest, it was the first time for me to be confessed to by someone, you may think it's weird, but as a king I'm the one who choose and confess to someone and not the other way around" he stayed quiet looking down, I could tell he was overwhelmed by my presence but I can't let this chance slide
"but since you started avoiding me and hiding, I felt so down and spiritless, I couldn't focus on anything and kept being gloomy, even though we lived in the same place I missed you and felt so dejected, I really hate how things are now between us"
"I'm sorry, but it's impossible for me to face you with my current feelings, you don't have to be considerate of my feelings, I know that you felt disgusted and betrayed by me, I'm not even surprised if you already hate me, you can just be frank and tell me to leave, I was already preparing myself for that" I got taken aback for a moment, did he keep thinking like this for almost a month?! I jumped facing him startling him, even the rabbit almost ran away because of me, he quickly looked away
"that's not true! I really didn't feel disgusted or betrayed, you just felt in love me and there is nothing wrong with that, and there is no way I would hate you, besides, I said this before, I won't let you leave even if you want to so please stop thinking like that!" I stated, he slowly glanced back to me speechless, it seem he never expected this reaction from me, I noticed his red cheeks that were as red as the roses, he looked away again shyly while made me smile a little sitting down completely facing him
"I know I don't hate you Gulf, I didn't feel disgusted, I didn't even feel shocked, I was just surprised a little and puzzled, you are a special person to me and I don't want to lose you but, I'm sorry, I'm really not sure of my own feelings, I've never fell in love and this have never happened on my island so can you give a little time to figure out my feelings?" I asked feeling nervous and a bit afraid
"thank you for being honest, knowing that you don't hate me is already enough, thank you" he looked me with a smile grateful lucid smile, suddenly a tear escaped his eyes but he quickly wiped it
"sorry, I'm just truly happy that the person I love doesn't feel disgusted by me or want me to leave, I actually was planning on hiding my feeling but when I heard about you getting married I couldn't hold myself back, you don't have to force yourself to understand or love me, after all this special feeling comes naturally"
"I'm really grateful for your honesty but I really want to understand my own feelings toward you Gulf, I want everything to be clear between us, so stop running away from me, I know it's hard for you but please let me stay a little close to you"
"alright" he simply said and I jumped hugging him, I just couldn't control myself, I felt him shiver a little so I quickly pulled back staring at his completely red face and ears, he looked away trying to hide it but it was so late
"sorry, I really missed you and couldn't stop myself"
"i-it's fine" since that agreement, I started spending more time with Gulf, I sometimes would sit watching him working, he looked so cool and amazing while doing his research, he is a very hard-working and has a high concentration level when it comes to work, he was so friendly yet a little serious with his teammates, I also noticed that he keep getting surrounded by some animals from time to time and he acted so sweetly and softly with them
The first time my heart skipped a beat was when I saw him cheerfully smiling with pinkish cheeks while playing with Finn and Fang and some other animals near the blue flower garden, he looked genuinely blissful and relieved to be with them and to be there, his smile was so bright and astonishment that made me stare at him for a long time without blinking, my heart thumbed faster and loudly as if I was running but I was sitting under a tree watching them or better say focusing my view on Gulf only
'so cute' the first time I thought this when I saw Gulf shyly hiding his tomato face after I unconsciously patted on his head thanking him for his hard work and complimenting him for being an amazing person, he looked so embarrassed and couldn't even talk well, he even tripped and almost fell down while trying to walk to the other side of the room to get some work papers
With each passing day, I keep discovering a new feeling, a new one is born just from watching Gulf this close, not just feelings but even my thoughts are changing as my head is only full of Gulf, I want to get even closer to him, I want to watch him more, I want to see all his sides, just like this the number of my 'wants' keep increasing
My feelings were somehow getting stronger to the point that I think I was getting jealous of those who get so close and touch Gulf casually, especially since I can do it myself, I find myself looking irritated and glaring at them, Leo and Jay's advice is completely right, after being this close to Gulf, I got to understand my own feelings so well, I even found myself feeling a little shy around him, Gulf is really strong, he have been feeling like this for many months and kept bearing it, I can't do it
Just like always, after work, we walked to our usual spot and sat watching the beautiful full moon and the sea of stars, Gulf looked comfortable and happy while watching them, he looked much better than a month ago, yet right now, he is looking exceptionally charming, maybe it was thanks to the moonlight but he looked really beautiful, without realizing I kept getting closer wanting to better see his face and his gentle smile, his cheeks are bright pink just like his lips, I wanted to keep staring and memorize every inch of his attractive features, he quickly moved away when he noticed how close to him I was
"king Mew, please stay back a little, it's really embarrassing to have you this close"
"just call me Mew, the king part makes me feel as if there is a distance between us"
"is it alright for me to call you that?"
"of course"
"alright but really can you stay away a little?" he asked pushing me away from him
"why? Is it too much to handle?"
"yes, it's really bad for my heart besides... I may lose control again and... end up kissing you" he mumbled the last part but since I was close I heard it which made me surprised for a moment, his cheeks went for bright pink to very deep red making his look so cute, seeing his like that overwhelmed me
"let's do it" I blurted out making him stare at me in disbelieve
"huh? Euh... we can't! only couple do it"
"I need to do it, I must to" it's the last thing that will help me make sure of my feeling, well I already know that I fell for Gulf too, no, it's more like I was so dense to notice that I was already in love with him, I kept calling him my special friend but he is actually more special than anyone else, I'm really so stupid and I feel so angry at myself for noticing this now after making Gulf go through all bad thoughts and sorrowful and painful feelings, I just needed one more prove to be more assured of both of our feelings so I can start a clear and fresh relationship with Gulf
"why are you this eager about a kiss?" he asked confused and shy as always
"I will tell you after we do it so please Gulf" he looked away for a minute then back to me faintly nodding and that was my cue as I pinned him down under me, both staring at each other, my heart was beating so fast and I felt so nervous yet the urge to kiss him encouraged me to keep going, I'm already sure at this point
I love Gulf.
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