As Hannah parked the car in the parking lot of the Olive Garden where she was to meet Julia, Lauren, and Shannon, she glanced around. Looking up, the sky was overcast a bit gloomy looking for a day in May. She knew it was hurricane season but hadn't heard anything on the radio on the way over there. Getting out of her car with some difficulty, she bit her lip slightly but her demeanor changed as she saw the other three already waiting for her near the entrance; Lauren waved to her. Taking a deep breath she walked slowly over to where they were standing and hugged them all in greeting. Together they walked in single file as Julia held the door open for them all. Shannon had made reservations and as they took their seats, they looked grateful to see each other.

    Julia was the shortest and had black hair with brown eyes and always reminded the others of a sparrow when she got angry. Lauren was closer in height to Hannah and had sand colored hair and blue green eyes while Shannon all but towered over them all with her light brown hair and green eyes. One Halloween back in college they had dressed up as a wooden harmonica and won a prize for innovation because that instrument had each of its pieces taller than the last. They had painted their faces and everything. Hannah started the conversation by recounting that to them and their eyes widened as they remembered.

"Oh my lord, y'all! I remember that night like it was yesterday. We were definitely the best costume out of the bunch!" Julia exclaimed with a smile and a wink at Lauren. Those two were always attached at the hip and had known each other since elementary school.

"I know right? Boy we had some good times before we had to settle down and get all serious." Lauren replied.

"Serious? When did you become serious? You are like gossip queens. I couldn't keep up with you guys in college and as hell can't now." Hannah replied just as the waiter came to get their orders. Once he left, the four of them giggled.

"Oh now shush you or I'll go have a word or two with your car!" Shannon threatened as the rest laughed.

"You leave my car out of this." Hannah warned narrowing her eyes playfully.

"Ok enough of this nonsense, what's been going on with you ladies since we last chatted together?" Julia said as if calling some meeting to order, she had always been the one to take charge.

"Well let's see, my twins are using the walls instead of floors to walk. It's kinda creepy sometimes but funny at the same time. They've turned my and Matt's house into a jungle gym. What little terrors!" Shannon said with a laugh.

"Sounds like something out of 'The Exorcist'." Lauren said jokingly as everyone's food was delivered by the waiter.

"Oh this food looks divine; let's dig in while Lauren tells us all about her son and his 'very clean room.'" Shannon put her hands up into quotes for the last part.

"Big deal; so he has a messy room! He's a boy for Christ's sake! What's he supposed to do? Vacuum the house or do laundry?" Lauren rolled her eyes. Hannah turned to Julia then:

"How's your daughter doing? Is she better in the new class?" Julia nodded looking grateful for the ability to talk about something a little serious.

"Yes she is, thank goodness. The new teacher has dealt with dyslexic kids before and says it shouldn't be a problem as long as Lexie continues to listen and follow the different directions. They're made particularly for kids with dyslexia so they can learn how to be high functioning adults."

"That's very important." Hannah said as Julia nodded and the attention suddenly turned toward Hannah as they continued to enjoy their lunch.

"So what about you and Chris? Any little ones on the horizon?" Lauren asked as Hannah paused and shook her head.

"No, not at the moment." She said looking down.

"Why not? You both have always wanted kids and it would be great if ours were in the same age range more or less. They could all play together while we were on play dates." Shannon said enthusiastically as the others nodded.

"It's just not the right time at the moment." Hannah said swallowing her food.

"Well when will it be the right time?" Julia was now looking at her with that sparrow gaze of hers.

"When things get better." Hannah answered, still avoiding the topic though she knew that sooner or later, she would have to tell them as they wouldn't give up until they got the answers.

"Hannah, enough with the circles. What aren't you telling us?" Lauren asked. Hannah sighed and blurted it out.

"I'm ill, you guys. I have something called M.E. which I can't pronounce even in layman's terms but the few doctors who do deal with call it Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and it's incurable. I'm so exhausted I can't get out of bed except on good days like today, you guys got lucky that I'm even here. Chris' father is looking for specialists to find some form of treatment that may put the viruses in my blood back into dormancy so I could perhaps live a semi decent life. But this thing is forever. As for kids, my doctor doesn't think I should have them until I'm in a better place with my health for fear that it may kick this illness into a worse place."

    There was an almost deafening silence as Hannah finished speaking and she looked at each of her friends that she'd known since college. It was obvious they were just soaking it all in and trying to absorb everything. It was a lot to absorb even if you didn't have the thing. Finally, Julia spoke carefully.

"Shouldn't you get a second opinion on that? It sounds a little hokey." The other two nodded in agreement as Hannah looked confused.

"There's nothing hokey about it. This doctor is well versed in the illness and she is more like the 50th opinion. I've had every test done under the sun and just about every other thing has been ruled out."

"Is it contagious?" Shannon asked quietly almost whispering like it was some kind of a conspiracy. Hannah was starting to shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"No of course not. What would make you think such a thing?"

"Well you have this random disease that's like invisible or something and no one knows anything about it, so I just asked. What's the big deal?" Shannon said shrugging.

"The big deal is that it's not random and millions around the world suffer from it. And you make it sound like some kind of plague or something." Hannah was starting to get upset.

"Honey, honey calm down. Please don't get upset but could it just be something in your head like stress from possibly having a baby?" Lauren asked trying to soothe Hannah but she only made it worse.

"Lauren's right; you just need to rest a bit more. Everyone is exhausted and there are so many people out there with worse things, you just have to put things in prospective. It'll be alright." Julia added as Hannah finally blew up.

"Are you all nuts? I'm telling you I'm ill and just because you haven't heard of it or can't see visible signs doesn't mean it's in my head! Rest? Rest? All I do is rest! 24/7; almost completely bedridden! I have to crawl on my hands and knees to the bathroom sometimes! Of course there are worse things in the world, but that doesn't mean I have to compete with every disease, plague, and illness out there for the Guinness Book of World Records on who has it worse! You know for college grads, you three have to be some of the most ignorant people I have ever met! I'm done. Thanks for the lunch! Don't bother calling!"

    During her whole diatribe, Hannah was speaking faster and louder as the other diners looked over and she dug through her purse until she found her wallet and with a last glare at her "friends", she threw the exact amount she owed for her meal on the table and all but ran out of the restaurant. She jogged to her car and when she got in; she started the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot. She was half way home when she had to pull over because she couldn't see the road anymore through her tears. She lay across the passenger seat and sobbed miserably.

    How could she have been so wrong about her friends? They were there for each other.....weren't they? Wasn't that how it was supposed to be? She was there for them but one would guess when it was her time to be in a bad place, they just couldn't handle it or didn't want to. Ever so slowly, people were showing her their true colors and she was becoming more isolated in her shell. Just thinking about it, made her weep even more. Finally, when she thought she couldn't cry anymore and felt like a complete and total zombie, she got back on the road and returned home. Chris' car was already in the driveway as she parked and walked into the house.

    As she walked into the house, Chris knew something had gone very wrong with the lunch as Hannah looked a wreck. Before he could ask what had happened, she looked at him and spoke in an almost alien sounding voice he had never heard before:

"I guess you're not the only one who thinks that I'm 'defective'. I learned this afternoon that in order to have friends, I can't be ill or else they'll think I'm crazy, contagious, and need to think about all of the people that are out there that are worse of then I am. Great friends, don't you think?"

    Without waiting for Chris' response, she walked past him into their bedroom and lay down and curled up in a ball. Chris was still standing in the living room looking stunned and again hating himself for using that blasted word over Christmas. Looked like she hadn't forgotten it after all but then again, could he really blame her? He left her alone for a little while and then joined her as he reminded her of the doctor's appointment she had the following day. It was one of the many that Ralph had set up for her to see. Unfortunately, she could no longer travel by plane as she was totally exhausted and therefore places like New York and California were out of the question.

    Ever since the holidays, Hannah had seen every specialist known to man who claimed they knew how to treat or help treat M.E. but each time a new set of supplements were given and tried, nothing would work. Many made her feel sicker and she had to stop them. When Chris mentioned the doctor's appointment that he was accompanying her to along with his parents, Hannah just nodded. She didn't have any hope for a treatment left anymore. No one knew anything; they just wanted to take money and give out random medications. Even their professional confidence was shoddy at best. Though she was diagnosed the previous November, she technically had been feeling unwell since May of that same year. So as she lay in bed, she realized she'd had M.E. for a whole year. That was one hell of an anniversary.

    The following day, Hannah was barely able to get out of bed to go to the doctor's office. The dreaded time had come; Chris called the doctor's office and requested that a wheelchair be ready outside just in case Hannah couldn't walk from the car. The receptionist said that it wouldn't be a problem and that one would be waiting just in case. Hannah nearly threw up at the sound of that. If only Julia, Lauren, and Shannon could see her now. What other nastiness could they come up with then? Or perhaps they'd just use a bible, a cross, and some garlic to ward of the plague that was now Hannah.

    When they got to the doctor's office, Ralph and Courtney were already waiting and they hugged Hannah who despite her best efforts did need to be wheeled into the doctor's office. She felt ashamed and humiliated and kept her eyes straight down though Courtney whispered to her that there was nothing to be ashamed about and that she herself was in a wheelchair after she had torn a tendon in her foot and it grew back wrong after a misdiagnosis. It was just something that one had to do deal with. It made Hannah feel slightly better but not by much.

    While Hannah was getting dressed in a gown for the doctor's examination, Chris told his parents about Hannah's awful lunch the day before with her so called friends. They were appalled to say the least. The visit didn't last long; there wasn't anything new the doctor said that Hannah and the other didn't already know. She had to wait this thing out and just keep taking whichever vitamins and supplements showed low on her current blood work and recheck the blood every couple of months. Everyone looked disappointed as they were running out of options but Hannah as there weren't any miracles for her at this point.

    She walked out of the office on her own accord and without a wheelchair though she knew that that visit would cost her days of recovery afterwards. As she looked out of the door, an attractive African American man caught her attention. Their eyes met at the same time. He was coming out of the office next door and he looked at the woman with incredibly sad eyes with surprise. Something about her made him feel sad though he never had seen her before. He had just had his physical and was waiting for the elevator. Hannah and the others joined him next to the elevator as he offered a friendly smile as all but Chris returned. Their thoughts were elsewhere and he didn't start a conversation as it wasn't his business.

    Allen Roberts was an agent for the DEA in Dallas and just like all the other agents in the field, it was mandatory for him to get checked up once a year at his doctor's office so he would be in tip top shape. Unlike the rest of the agents in his department, he took the check up in stride and didn't moan and groan at the prospect of a full physical. He was in great shape and was never a whiner. He was a strong tall man with a soft demeanor but with an exceptional ability to read people even without speaking to them first. His buddies at the office called him the human lie detector.

    He exited the elevator on the same floor in the parking garage as Hannah and her family. As he got into his car, he caught her eye one last time and somehow knew that he would never forget those sad and soulful eyes and his intuition told him that he would see her again. He shook his head and turned on some music as he drove away to rid himself of the beautiful yet hopeless looking and feeling face of the woman from the elevator. He had to get back to the office and work on some cases.

    Hannah, meanwhile, thought nothing much of the man she encountered in the elevator other than the fact that he seemed kind. She could tell by his eyes; she wondered for a second what his reaction would be if he knew about her illness. But then she shook her head and moved on to different thoughts. She was ready to get home but first she wanted to stop by one place and speak to the one person she knew with all of her heart would understand her and not judge her; St. Bernadette's and Sister Grace. She asked Chris to drop her off and come back but he insisted on staying in the car.

    When they got to St. Bernadette's, nothing changed there. The trees and plants were exactly the same and the building was exactly as she had always seen it. Other than a power wash to make the bricks really stand out as well a new coat of paint on the Virgin Mary out front, Hannah felt like she was coming home and in a way each visit felt like that. Chris stayed in the car as Hannah got out and as she smelled the jasmine in the air and the wind blew, she was reenergized like she hadn't been in a long time. With a deep breath and a sense of being where she belonged, she walked into the only real home she had ever known to see the number one mother she had always known. For the first time and very briefly thereafter, she felt at complete and total peace.