Hannah's confused state quickly cleared as she stared down the barrel of a shot gun that was pointed at her face. The flashlight attached to it was making stars dance in front of her eyes. She held her hands up as she absolutely had no idea what was happening. Before she could say anything, two of the agents dragged her outside along with her backpack. She was led to a curb where she sat down and was handed her backpack which was completely tossed though nothing of use to the agents was found in there.

Hannah was shaking from head to toe in fear as she glanced around wide eyed. It seemed for a bit that everything was in slow motion as she wondered what her life had become. The adrenaline from the rapid wake up and the raid was staving off any withdrawal symptoms Hannah may have felt. Though she was still good and didn't use more than Caddie had originally given her. She could go up to 3 weeks without a hit. She assumed that that wasn't a bad thing and remembered what Caddie had told her about having a will not to become a full blown addict.

As she was contemplating all of this from where she was sitting, Allen and Ryan were briefed that the raid house was empty save for a few bags of marijuana that wasn't enough to bust anyone. Allen was angry that this raid was a failure so he walked away to clear his head. As he was walking near where some of the inhabitants of the residence were sitting on the street in the middle of the night, he happened to glance down and did a double take as he stared at the woman sitting on the curb with her hands around her knees shaking. He couldn't believe it; it was the woman from the medical office he had visited a year before.

But what was she doing there? Compared to all the others, she looked like an innocent lost in a world she didn't belong in. He looked at where Randall was sitting with 4 women that were as different from the woman before him as night and day. Time to find out what was going on and why this sad woman whose whole demeanor touched him a year before was in a place like this. He crouched down in front of her as she brought her big brown eyes to meet his.

"Excuse me miss; what is your name please?" He asked her kindly.

"H-Hannah. Hannah Peters." She responded.

"Mrs. Peters; my name is Allen Roberts. I'm an agent with the DEA. Is it my understanding that you and your belongings checked out clean for any and all illegal substances?" Hannah nodded. That's when Allen decided to bring up the meeting the year before.

"Mrs. Peters, I'm not sure if you remember me or not but we have seen each other before. One year ago in fact. You were with I believe your husband and your parents or his at a doctor's office in downtown Dallas. You were barely standing; we shared an elevator together. I believe you were coming out of Dr. Ginsberg's--the specialist's--office. Do you recall that by any chance?"

Hannah was startled when he brought up Dr. Ginsberg and when she thought back she suddenly remembered the visit where there was a strange but good looking African American male in the elevator with her, Chris, and his parents. She was surprised that he recognized her after all this time; after all, they didn't speak in the elevator but they just stood there. The only way she recognized him now that he jogged her memory was because of his eyes. They were just as kind now as they were that day. She instinctively felt like he meant her no harm no matter what the current circumstances were.

"Yes, yes I do. Now that you mention it, I do remember you Agent Roberts. Your kind eyes gave you away. I saw you when you first came on the scene and I thought you were familiar somehow from somewhere." Hannah smiled a little and she looked quite lovely when she did so though the smile didn't reach her eyes. Those were still incredibly sad and full of something.

"Mrs. Peters, what can you tell me about your associates at this house?" He asked her softly.

"Not much, I was invited here by Shanel and Randall. Shanel is the only real blonde out of those four women over there." Hannah nodded toward where Shanel and the other 3 were sitting. They weren't paying any attention to her nor was Randall who was surrounded by a bunch of agents and questioned. Whatever was happening to Hannah, she was on her own.

"And is this where Randall always deals his drugs?"

"To be totally honest, I don't know where he always or usually does anything. I barely know him. I just met him a few days ago for the very first time. I am friends with Shanel and I met her because we have a mutual friend in common who I went to college with. That's as far as I know about anything."

"I see. And what is your drug of choice, Mrs. Peters?"

"Ice but I wouldn't call it a choice at all actually. More like a last resort. And please call me Hannah."

"Agreed; but only if you call me Allen." He said and smiled at her as she nodded.

But Allen was confused. This was the first time he had ever heard of an addict claiming that starting to use a drug was a last resort. He'd heard plenty of excuses in his career but this woman intrigued him and that soulful and pained look in her eye was the same if not worse than when he first saw her a year ago. There was more to this story than met the eye and he was determined to find out what drove a beautiful and happily married or so it seemed woman to an addiction to crystal meth.

"Hannah, how about I take you home? Would that be alright with you?" Allen asked much to her surprise.

"You mean I'm not under arrest?"

"No, you're not. You don't appear to be under the influence of anything nor do you have any substances on you so therefore you are free to go."

"I have my car parked around the corner." She said.

"I can drive you home then and therefore you won't have to be out and about at this hour. Besides, you look like you haven't slept in days."

"I'd appreciate it very much but are you sure it won't be an inconvenience for you? Don't you have to stay on the scene?"

"Not anymore, they'll wrap up and my partner can drive behind us so I'll get a ride back to the office. Where do live, Hannah?"

"In Plano, on Four Seasons Lane." She said.

Allen nodded and told her to wait for him as he went to grab Ryan who was waiting for him. The rest of the agents were going to finish processing the scene and most likely going to let everyone go who they haven't already. Allen told Ryan what he wanted him to do and Ryan was stunned by this. Agents don't give suspects rides home or even those that were no longer suspects. He wasn't happy but he wasn't going to complain in front of the other agents. The last thing he wanted to do was make himself and Allen look bad. Chances were that Allen would just get a ribbing while he would look like a cry baby being new to the team and all. He nodded reluctantly and went to get the car.

Meanwhile, Hannah and Allen walked to where her car was parked. She handed him the keys and climbed into the passenger seat while Allen got behind the wheel and after buckling up, they headed for the highway. The 175 was clear but 45 was backed up due to construction and a car accident, so they had to sit in traffic for a while. It gave them the chance to talk and get to know each other. Allen told her a bit about his own past and then he finally broached the topic that had been bugging him since they first started talking.

"Hannah, you mentioned that using meth was your last resort. What did you mean?" Hannah looked out the window briefly and took a deep breath and sighed. She knew she could trust him.

"When you saw me at the doctor's office was after I was diagnosed with M.E. or Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. The illness is incurable and there isn't any treatment for it whatsoever anywhere in the world. 1 million people according to the last census suffer from it here in the states and 17 million worldwide. Mind you, that's JUST the people that were properly diagnosed. Who knows how many are out there being treated for lord knows what?"

"What does this illness do exactly? I've never heard of it before." Allen asked curiously. He was drawn by the passion in her voice.

"It's a nightmare, an invisible nightmare. There aren't any tests save for maybe an MRI that can detect it but it's the symptoms that make themselves and it known."

"Symptoms?"

"Yes, debilitating exhaustion is number one. It's like imagine running a 50 mile marathon while having the worst flu possible every single day for years. You can sleep for 24 hours and still feel like you haven't slept for weeks; that's how bad the insomnia is. You have tachycardia which is rapid heartbeat without getting out of bed. Sometimes you're so exhausted that you can't even walk to the bathroom, you have to crawl on your hands and knees. You can't take a shower by yourself but someone has to help you. Vertigo makes you wear sunglasses even when it's dark. You get these constant headaches that feel like your brain is being squeezed in a vice and it hurts so badly. Your hands shake constantly and sometimes even your head does while your speech slurs. You feel like an epileptic."

Allen was listening to her list off all of her symptoms in utter and complete shock. The fact that someone so young could go through or be going through so much was frightening to say the least. Hannah continued.

"And the doctors treat you like a guinea pig. I tested negative for Lyme disease though we don't even have ticks in these parts, they wanted to make sure anyways. I had to try different medications and supplements and even had a spinal tap done which was screwed up and I developed a leak which caused spinal headaches that feel like someone is shoving a butcher knife into your forehead repeatedly. It is considered the worst headache bar none on earth by all clinical professionals. I needed a blood patch to fix the damage. There were multiple ER trips via ambulance for a stomach blockage where I couldn't eat and other things. Even though I tested negatively for Lyme, the doctor still saw it necessary that I had to do a month worth of one of the most painful shots of antibiotics known to mankind; Bicillin LA. Half a million ml in a syringe like something you would baste a turkey with. The drug was like white cement going in and felt like someone had taken a red hot poker, drenched it in lava, and shoved it into you. I nicknamed it Rocket Fuel."

"So you see, Allen, after all of that, meth really was my last resort to feeling something....anything but a 29 year old invalid. I didn't know what meth felt like but I was and am willing to try anything to feel something, to walk, to have even a little bit of energy. It may not be the best decision or a legal one, but I don't have a choice right now. I can't go back....I-I just can't."

"What about your husband? Doesn't he care or have a say in what happens to you?" Allen asked as he was digesting it all. Hannah laughed with a hard edge in her voice.

"Chris? I don't think he even notices that I'm gone. Last time I was home, I found out that the only mother I had ever known had passed away and he didn't even call me or try to find me. Yes, my phone has been dead and at home but there were quite a few ways to find me and he didn't try any of them. Shanel thinks he's cheating on me with our next door neighbor and I suspect she's right. There are just too many coincidences as to his peculiar behavior."

"What was your mother's name? Or the woman who you felt was like your mother rather?"

"Sister Grace from St. Bernadette's school. I was an orphan since the age of 5 when my parents died in an accident and I was brought to live and study there as per my mom's will and testament. The couple you saw in the elevator with Chris and I were his parents. They are loaded and thought they could 'buy' a cure for me or treatment at the least. But you can't buy what doesn't exist. The Mother Superior had tried to get in touch with Chris after Sister Grace passed away but couldn't reach him so she called them instead and they were at the house talking to Chris about not telling me about the funeral when I walked in on it. Not the best way to find that out let me tell you."

Hannah sniffed lightly and wiped away tears from her cheeks as she thought about Sister Grace and missing her funeral. Allen couldn't believe the rotten luck she had. But Hannah wasn't finished yet; she then proceeded to tell him the rest of her life story including one of the last straws where her supposed best friends turned on her when she told them about her illness. Basically everything that could have hit the fan did.

Allen than started telling her his life story in a little bit of more detail. He thought it would be particularly important to tell her about his youngest brother who never made it out of the ghetto. He was a hardcore meth addict. Allen and his middle brother got out and made a life for themselves but not him and it was a tragedy. In the last month, his mother had moved to Queens, New York to be closer to relatives she had there. Allen's father's relatives were all from the west coast but his mother's were all in New York. He was glad that she was closer to her own family now that both he and his brother were successful though not married yet or with kids.

"Hannah, my youngest brother died because he ran with wrong people but also because he was a heavy meth user. I know you say that you don't use that much but it can have an even worse toll on your body since you have that illness. Meth wreaks havoc on your brain causing things like massive anxiety, paranoia, hallucinations, and even sometimes something happens like 'meth bugs'."

"Meth bugs? What are those?" Hannah asked her eyes wide as she looked fearful.

"Meth bugs are an addict's paranoid hallucinations that there are bugs crawling under their skin. They will pick and scratch their skin until they have scab like markings all over. It's not a pretty sight. The more you use the greater you are susceptible to getting all of those symptoms. That paranoia can sometimes look like something a schizophrenic experiences with voices telling them things that aren't real. The high that you feel is nothing compared to the downward spiral you may and will experience if you continue doing this drug. You are a smart and beautiful woman, Hannah. I would hate to see you come in with scabs all over your face from the meth bug problem or even worse; this drug kills." He said sternly to her as she looked away and absentmindedly scratched her arm.

They rode the rest of the way in silence with Allen praying he had gotten through to her though he doubted it very much. He knew that she would have to hit bottom before she decided to seek help. Many addicts that have been on ice for long periods of time never do. He sincerely hoped that Hannah wasn't one of those; he would be very saddened if she became a statistic. Sure she had M.E. but that didn't mean she should just give up on life. Life was precious and she couldn't ever give up hope. He said as much to her as they pulled up in front of her house with Ryan right behind them. It was nearly 4am at this point and the neighborhood was peaceful and pitch black save for all of the street lights.

Allen and Hannah got out and walked to her front door while Ryan stayed in his car. As Hannah couldn't see the key hole, she rang the doorbell. There was only one light on in the house so that meant that Chris was awake. Sure enough, less than 30 seconds later, he opened the door standing in his sweat pants and a t-shirt. His eyes grew wide as Allen introduced himself formally and told him where he found Hannah and that Chris had to take real good care of her. Hannah then turned to Allen and said:

"Thank you for driving me, Allen. You were right; I wouldn't have been able to make it on my own."

"You're very welcome, Hannah. You think about what I said. Merry Christmas to both of you." He said then and left her to step over the threshold into the house as he got into the car with Ryan and they took off back downtown. Hannah was puzzled. Christmas? Was that tonight or tomorrow? She had no concept of time anymore.

She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, still shaking as Chris closed the door and locked it. He turned on the lights than as he tried to digest what he just heard. His wife was found in a house that was raided by the DEA looking for crystal meth and one of the agents brought her home. He looked familiar but Chris couldn't place him anywhere. He was very sure though he had seen him somewhere before. He was very glad that Scarlett wasn't with him or home. As Christmas Eve was the next day, she had left with her kids 2 days earlier on a camping trip to Camp Joy Park just outside of Fort Worth and after that was flying with them to Pensacola, Florida to spend the holidays including New Year's Eve with her parents.

But......His wife was a meth addict.

He couldn't reconcile those two thought processes. His wife and meth addict. How did it happen? How could it? This was Hannah after all, not some freak. Chris wasn't entirely stupid; in serious denial maybe but not under the misimpression of lunacy. Hannah had a incurable illness; M.E., Sister Grace was dead, her friends betrayed her, and she couldn't be bedridden anymore. One thing he kept telling himself was that she didn't know about the affair. There was just no way. As long as that was a secret in his mind, he felt he hadn't betrayed her completely. Only 50% maybe. But this was the place he hated to go and didn't have to when Scarlett was there; the self-blame department. He could hide away and forget the world. Then that begged the question:

Was he a sex addict?

Or

Just addicted to Scarlett?

How to find out? Well, irony of all ironies a coworker of his had slipped him a pamphlet as a joke about rehab and sex addiction was one of the 'diseases' they claimed to treat. He didn't even know such a thing was possible for normal people like him. Movie stars sure and he'd read about plenty of them going to rehab for that. But was that really for him? So after curiosity got the best of him one day at work, he googled it. There was a lot of information about not being satisfied with one partner and going to multiple ones and how there were cravings but he only had one person he constantly ran to and that was Scarlett. So where did the truth lie?

He and Hannah got ready for bed and she had seen her phone in a new case and charged on the counter. She had thanked him for doing it. He also mentioned that he had laundered her clothes that she had brought home. He was trying, he just didn't know what to say or do and neither did she. The one thing they did agree on and spoke about was not going to his parents the following day. Instead they decided to buy a tree, decorate it, and stay home. They didn't exchange gifts because they forgot all about it. This year it just wasn't a priority. They avoided all of the topics they needed to talk about and just danced around the surface.

The following day they went tree shopping, there was only one place still selling them knowing that some people just bought things last minute and so a tree they had and they tied it to Chris' car and brought it home. She and Chris decorated it and then she made them both eggnog. They turned on the TV and watched the old cartoon 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas.' After which they listened to Christmas carols on the radio and just enjoyed being home and with each other. They didn't touch the heavy subjects.

Hannah made it a point to call Courtney and Ralph herself and tell them that she and Chris were together that holiday. Her saying that seemed odd to the elder couple, as they had no way of knowing that Hannah had spent Thanksgiving in a damp warehouse on Southland Street eating a turkey sandwich not even knowing what day it was. At one point, she went to the bathroom, leaving Chris in the living room and while she was looking for a roll of paper towels as she spilled some soap, she noticed a receipt in the waste basket. When she picked it up and read it, her eyebrows came together and her eyes narrowed as the receipt was from Zales the jewelry store for a necklace of some sort in the amount of $200. She knew that Chris didn't buy it for her or his mother. Was Scarlett the lucky beneficiary then? She wiped up the soap with the paper towel and pocketed the receipt as she just knew that she would need it later. She then walked back into the room with a fake smile plastered on her face like nothing happened.

Across town that same Christmas Eve, there was a holiday party in the DEA office that both Allen and Ryan attended. It was small because most agents that weren't on duty were home with their families and only those that were on duty or that didn't have families in the area like Allen and Ryan were in attendance. To them their DEA counterparts in Dallas were there family. Finally, Ryan had Allen alone for a few minutes and led him outside to talk. Allen knew something was coming so he asked first.

"What's on your mind kid?"

"Was just wondering about that chick you took home last night. Since when did we become a car service or babysitters for that matter?" Allen sighed as he looked at his young partner.

"We're not, but sometimes being human doesn't hurt either. We're not just agent robots kid. Besides, I'd met her before and wanted to help her out."

"That's great and all but did it have to happen during our raid and what makes her so special that I had to drive across town following you?" Ryan did sound like he was nagging and whining. Allen was slightly annoyed as he narrowed his eyes at his partner and said:

"Listen Ebenezer....lighten up and mind your own business, ok?" With that he walked back inside leaving Ryan staring after him and rubbing his neck.