Miraadhya

What is the feeling when you fall from a cliff? I have no idea but it must feel like what I am feeling right now.

Maa sprints towards me and I have never seen her so angry before and before I could process anything a tight slap lands on my face. The sting so hard that I feel it spreading till my neck.

She raises her hand again and I shut my eyes to accept another slap but then it never comes. I open my eyes and see Rajaji holding her hand and I think this sight is more scary than her seeing me with him.

"Aapne ek baar Maa ke haq se haath utha liya par aab mat uthayega" he says in a tone which instantly makes my eyes burn with tears.

"Now you will tell me how to treat my daughter!" Maa jerks her hand from his grip and again approaches me but Rajaji again comes between us.

My tears couldn't stop, the feeling of guilt, pain and anger coursing through me as I remain rooted on the floor.

"Move away!" She now starts hitting him and he doesn't say anything while taking slaps from her and I couldn't bare it any longer.

"Maa please stop!" I cry out loud and hold her hand, though her wrinkled face softenes me but it doesn't make my grip loose. "Please!"

"How dare you? How could you Miraadhya! I asked you one thing...one thing to stay away from him and you couldn't do it!" She screams and her eyes shines with fresh tears which held fury and betrayal and I couldn't meet her eyes, I made a huge mistake.

"And You! What did you do!! You killed the Prince! Are you out of your mind!" she screams at Rajaji and to my horror she falls down abruptly in dismay, her head shaking vigourously and I stand there nervously to realise how hurt she must feel now, how her own daughter could not keep the promise she made her. I look at Rajaji with remorse and I noticed he had been staring at me only, his own concern covered his face and my heart pounds.

The reality hits me much sooner than I intended, we could never work, my mother took his father's life, he killed a prince which I have no idea but could bring unprecendented havoc in our lifes, his family hates me, I have betrayed him countless times and he infact ruined my reputation in the eys of every person. All because I could not control my heart, could not control my longing for him. All becase I could not become a good daughter.

"Don't do it Mirasaadhya" Raja suddenly says and I come out of my deep thoughts,

"Don't you dare give it a second thought, I know what that mind of yours is spinning but don't. Just don't " his voice lowers as he slowly picks up my very reluctant mother, she quick;y moves away from his grasp and holds me.

"If anything happens to my home, you will be responsible, you have signed an agreement , to marry the daughter of King Harshadip, otherwise all your soldiers will be ours and Harikel too"

I look at him in shock, what agreement he had signed?

"What did you sign?" I ask him in fear and he looks at me with tensed eyes and I immediadetly remeber the scroll Maa had carried the day we arrived Gauda and had left Harikel,

"Why would you sign such agreement?" I find my own voice rising and he sighs heavily contemplating his next set of words.

He looks at Maa who now had a fierce look in her eyes as if challengeing him to speak and I find the anxiety within me increasing with each passing moment.

"You have ruined my daughte's life just like your father had done to me! I will make sure you suffer for this!" A long set of profanities leaves my mother's mouth as she keeps shouting at Rajaji and pushing him away, Rajaji stands there silently not uttering a single word as he takes in my mother's  brutality and I feel horrible - embarrassed and mortified all at the same time.

She keeps saying words which are completly wrong, she keeps accusing him of things which he has never done, she keeps alleging to situations which has never occured and I could not bare it more. I may have hurt her but how could she say things like these - to a king!

"Bas bahut ho gaya!" I shout and come in front of her guarding my Rajai from anymore vicious words.

"Bahut ho gaya!" I grunt again and Maa looks at me with her stern eyes and I immediately want to cower , her effect still lasting on me but I stand my hold.

"Yeh sirf apne pita ke bete nai apne maa ke bhi putra hai"

"He is not just his father's son but also his mother's" I say and a shaky breath leaves my lips, I have never fought with my mother, never even imagined also and this situation was the most scariest.

She huffs as if I have cracked some joke and that irks me, her disragard of my words, my feeleings instills a long forgotten anger within me and that feeling helps me to keep my will.

"I love this man Maa" I finally say and the moment I utter those words an energy devours me from within, like a wild fire spreading every inch of my body to ignite the power I feel at this moment.

The confession was just not for her to hear but also to myself, these endless days that I have suffered, the longing I had felt was because I am in love. I am in love with Rajaji - with Rudraansh. I have loved him from the begining and even if it may be completly wrong and he may not feel the same for me which will undoubtedly cause me insuffarable pain, I will love him -only him till the end.

"You love him! How dare you!" Maa yells.

"You love me?" I hear his whispher and my heart pounds like it could burst open any minute now, Maa cries out loud and she again raises her hand to slap me but from the corner of my eyes I see Rajaji coming between us, his back facing Maa as he looks me with moist filled eyes. The slap lands on his back but he doesn't even flicks.

"You love me?" He whispehers back and nods his head like a child who wants a confirmation for his acions, like my word depend on his survival and I sigh in resolute and deep affection for him.

I nod my head with a yes keeping my eye contact with him, I felt extremenly shy but I did not lower my eyes, I wanted him to see him, whatever love I could not express thorugh words I wanted him ot see that in my eyes.

"Move you scoundril!" Maa tries to move his huge body but ofcourse she has no power infront of him.

"Words Miraadhya" he rakes his fingers through his hairs and licks his lips in anticipation.

"Prem karte hai hum aapse" I whipsher, the emotions overpowering me and my eyes burns with tears, tears for him as it comes down slowly.

He sighs, a sigh of relief as he closes his eyes momentraily only to again open them to see me intensly, his thick eyelashes outlining his beautiful eyes in the most eccentric manner.

He turns quickly and I gasp in fear when he holds my mother's hand, to stop her from hitting him any further.

"I do not know what exactly my father has done, though I have a fare idea, I cannot take back the years of sufferings you and your daughter  have gone through neither I could take away my father's actions but one thing I have understood is that to remain in past causes  nothing but immense pain, the pain of not moving on and keep staying in that painful memory. My father is dead and I know you are angry and I am too but please do no not let that come in way of your daughter's happiness. She deserves to be happy and I promise to do that for her. I want to do that for her" he adjoins his hands in front of her and lowers his head and somehow I wanted to stop him.

Maa looks at me with a soften gaze and I look at her in hope but that quickly vanishes when she steps away from him, an evil glint on her eyes.

"Harshadip did not kill your father" she says.

"Maa stop!" My feet tremble, I move towards her in hurry but before I could stop her she speaks again.

"I did. I killed your beloved father!" she yells and I stop in my tracks. "With the poison your father himself gave me, to kill myself, but I put it to better use"

I see Rajaji standing completely still and the time stops for me.

What will you do Rudraansh? You wanted to keep my daughter happy? How will you fullfill that knowing her mother is the one who had killed your father? Will you kill me now? Will killing me make her happy? "

"What is wrong with you !" I yell and hold Maa strongly, my aghast face stares at her and she doesnt even meet my eyes, I feel the most sinful feeling now, the feeling which society had subjected me to feel but I had never let that dictate me. To be ashamed of my own mother, even when she used to dance in the court, people told me how ashamed I must be but I never was, but today I felt that, I feel what those faceless people had once told me. To be-ashamed of being her daughetr, I thought having a father like Harshadip was already a sin but today my heart breaks yet another time to even loose my mother like this.

"Miraadhya" Rajaji murmers and a shiver ran through my spine hearing his ovice, I wanted to run away but I had no option but to face him.

"I-"he starts but I cut him.

"Before you say anything I want to say something. Whatever punishment you want to give my mother give me instead, I will take the sentence." I say.

"Who are you to decide that?" Rajaji voice booms in the room and I jolt in fear. "Your mother clealy doesn't ;t want you to be happy and all you could still think is to protect her" his voice strains and I could feel the emotions he must be feeling right now but I do not see him.

"She is my mother. I cannot let her die" my voice breaks, if something happens to her I will be an orphan.

He growls, literally growls and I steal a quick glance at him seeing his veiny hands clutched together in a hard grip, a nerve on his temple popping and my mouth becomes dry.

"If you cannot see your mother getting punished then I shall punish her by doing exactly what she doesn't want." He grunts and I look at him in confusion but when he speaks again my entire body drains out of energy.

"To marry you"

"You cannot! You signed an agreement!" Maa yelps behind me to approach him but I stop her.

"The agreement was to marry the daughter of Harshadip, she clearly is his daughter " he wraps his hands around his chest, his strong demeanour displaying command and his angelic brown eyes grows more darker.

Everything grows extremely slow around me, the last thing I expected was this day to turn out like this.

"No you cannot! No yo-" Mother's voice drops and I stare at Rajaji, his hard gaze was difficult to read, is he mad at me, is he marrying me for yet another revenge.

"I can and I will. I will I'll leave this place with Queen of Jessore by my side" he strides away from me leaving me utterly confused, he doesn't even look at me and I get more scared.

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