Warning: This... Is kind of actually depressing.
I don't want to alarm anyone, but this is something I think about it as a story in my mind. I know it's bad that I do but, it's better than having even worse thoughts.

y/n

"It will go away... I promise, honey."

His voice rang out in my head with every cut. No... It didn't.

Yeah. The pain never went away. Not after you left me...

Left me with a reminder of you before you got yourself into trouble and went away to marry "the girl of your dreams".

The bandages I wrapped around my wrists after a few minutes later slowly stained themselves red. It stung. It hurt.

It showed as pain.

"Garroth, I need to talk to you..."

He looked at me from his doorway, one I was not welcome to anymore.

His eyes glowed with anger. "What. That you got yourself knocked up by someone?" He angrily said.

I looked at him. "H-H-How did you-"

"Mariah told me all of it." He stressed his focus on all, making the waterworks begin.

"So you're upset for something you were a-a part of?" I stuttered, my eyes burning with the salty water of tears.

"Stop lying to me. I know you just want me back. And it isn't happening." He said coldly as he slammed the door in my face.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, the bottom of my lungs burning from lack of oxygen. Tears lined my bottom lashes as I cried.

Seven months ago...

Seven months of carrying a baby...

A baby he wanted to have...

A baby that I didn't want at all...

I always thought seven. Was a lucky number...

I guess maybe it actually isn't anymore.

I got exiled from everyone on My Street when they heard about it. So I moved. Away. Away from them.

The baby. The baby girl bumped into the side of my stomach, making me go quiet.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." I softly said as I rubbed the side of my lower abdomen. "Just... Momma's still having a hard time..."

I sat up in my bed.

Happy 18th birthday, me.

I suddenly looked across the room, a corner I hadn't looked at ever since we fought. Pictures were on a board over there, ripped in half.

I softly started to cry again. I missed him so much...

"I love you." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too." He whispered back.

"Then prove it. Scream it to the world." I smiled lightly as he chuckled.

"I love you." He whispered again into my ear.

Puzzled, I looked at him. "Why did you whisper it to me?"

He smiled. "Because you are my world.."

The days of the week progressed very slowly, as if Father Time just wanted me to suffer.

The baby girl was slowly moving around at night, different from before.

The winter air made me smile. It was something that was familiar to me. Being born in the coldest winter I can ever remember.

I walked outside in the snowfall. My (f/c) coat was long to my knees, the baby bump showing fairly a lot.

My (2nd f/c) right glove touched the side she always would kick. She wasn't moving... Odd.

"Fancy seeing your pale face here, (y/n)." An annoyed voice said.

I looked to the voice. Mariah. "And a good afternoon to you too."

She rolled her eyes. "Came to show your dumbness?"

"No, I'm just on a walk... Is that wrong?" I asked.

"Yeah. Because you're here." She grouchily said.

"It's a park. I'm able to come here to walk if I want.." I said softly.

She rolled her pink eyes. "Whatever."

I was quiet before seeing a face I didn't want to see.

"Hey (y/n)!" Garroth's voice cheerfully said.

I was quiet. "Hi...." My voice was softer than cotton candy.

Mariah looked at Garroth. "Hey Babe."

He was quiet for a moment. "Hey Mariah."

She cutely smiled as she kissed his cheek.

He didn't look at her when he saw me. "You're pregnant?" He stalely asked.

"Well Yeah. You knew like, months ago..." I said quietly.

"Oh. Right." He said softly.

I was quiet before turning away. "I gotta go... See you two..."

Garroth was quiet. "Bye...." He sounded heartbroken.

Mariah smirked in victory as I started to walk away. I looked over my shoulder to see the two still there, but not facing me.

It's not supposed to be...

Suddenly, something pushed. A wet sensation slid down my leg.

What the heck was going on!?

"(y/n)?" Garroth's voice asked behind me. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I breathlessly said. "I'm o-okay." I said even more out of breath.

My hand held underneath my stomach as I walked over painfully to a bench.

He walked with me, worry on his face.

Suddenly, all heck broke loose in a jolt of pain. My voice cracked in a gasp.

"You need a doctor... Now..." Garroth softly said.

It hurt to move at all. I couldn't call anyone. And all I had around were two people that don't like me...

Suddenly I could hear Garroth calling for an ambulance...

Is he seriously... Helping me?

He looked at me before saying. "Premature..."

Oh my gosh...

----------

I screamed in pain loudly as they wheelchaired me down the hall.

A nurse held one of my hands while the other gripped the wheelchair side. I screamed again as everything jolted even more.

"It's okay, ma'am. We are going to get you into a room. Very quickly." Her comforting voice rang in my mind.

I screamed even harder as pain jolted through me.

A doctor grabbed a door and pushed it open as the two nurses pushed me in.

"Okay. We need to get her on the bed fast." The doctor instructed. He was comanding.

The two nurses gently got my arms and helped me stand.

As we did, I hollered painfully.

They laid me down an as one of the nurses finished getting me ready as one stayed by my side and talked to me comfortingly.

I don't want this. I don't want this. I don't want this...
I'm not ready.

"Alright. Let's go (y/n)."

Hours of agonizing pain. But the only thing was that only some of it was physical.

It hurt like hell but... The person I longed for the most to be there, wasn't there..

The lights flickered off when the doctor half yelled, "One more time."

My scream of pain filled the room as sweat beaded on my skin everywhere.

"Alright, (y/n). You did it." He repeated the second phrase a few times as I screaming cry filled the room.

I whimpered in pain as I slightly turned, my eyes shut tight.

A woman came in and whispered to the doctor. He nodded. "Just so you know, (y/n), you can change your mind."

I whimpered again as I drew in a shaky breath. "No... I can't be a mother..." I said softly.

The doctor sighed down heartedly.

The baby's crying continued.

I listened to her crying. In it, it sounded as if she was crying for "mommy".

I waited a moment before saying. "Wait..." I looked over. "Can I hold her?" I softly asked.

The doctor smiled as he gently gave me her.

I don't know what made me want to, but just as I held her, she began to calm down. And... I felt just... Complete...

I softly smiled. "Hey honey..." I softly said, gently looking down at her.

She had pinkish skin as she looked up to me.

I smiled lightly.

I want to keep her... she's mine. she's a part of me...

"Actually... I wanna change my mind." I said, looking up.

The doctor smiled.

"I want to keep her." I whispered.

He nodded before walking over. "You have a name?" He asked.

I nodded softly as I looked at the baby girl. "Hope." I whispered. "Because maybe things will get better after now..."

He chuckled as he nodded.

Hope Maria (l/n).

Want a part two guys?