Sad NoochZaHutt cause why not XD

I am in love with this song so much. Let's see what I can do with it. :D

P.S. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE ONE SHOTS THAT WON'T GET AN ALTERNATE ENDING. THIS ONE STAYS SAD.

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~Brandon's POV~

Dear Mat,

I sit on the window sill silently as I stare out at the rain covered streets. Only last week, you had told me that you were leaving me. You're gone now; having packed up your things and left.

Ever since you left, I've tried all types of medication to help me sleep and forget about you. Nothing has worked. Even the morphine I tried last night didn't help. It didn't help me forget about all the times I had had with you, Mat; both the good and the bad. All those moments were with you, but now they're spent alone now; drowning in the waves of depression and self pity.

I've tried going to church again. But it's not helping me. I've spent a lot of time praying; down on my knees praying to anyone that would listen. I never got anything from them. It made me feel even more lonely. I remember one time how I practically begged for you to stay; how I sacrificed so much for you to be able to live with me. But begging didn't keep you from leaving this time.

My world has gone dark not that you're gone. No light has ever shown as bright as you Mat. You were my light in the darkness, but now you're gone; leaving me in the pitch black place called my mind. I've looked in the mirror so much, that I've noticed how dull my eyes have become. They've clouded over and have lost the happiness people said lived in them. The clouds have started raining again. It's done that so much recently. And to be honest, my eyes have done the same. They've become my own personal rain cloud; almost always dripping. And everyday its been the same. Wake up from a restless sleep, stare at my self in the mirror, cry my heart out, take medication, then have another restless night, and repeat.

I wonder how your mom is taking this news. She always loved it when I came over with you; and would always enjoy my company. I've seen you dad around town. You told him a lie didn't you? Because he couldn't even look me in the eyes when I walked past him that day. Does everyone you know hate me now? Well, to be honest I'd probably hate me too. If I were in their shoes, I'd hate me; even though I already hate myself. But you were always trouble. And I was always right by your side.

But I guess they never understood us. They were too scared to. I mean, our type of love is never looked kindly upon. A boy with a boy. Everyone just doesn't understand. I've tried so hard to get you back. I've called you, I've texted; but none of those were answered. So I decided to write this letter for you. I want you to know that I tried. I tried so hard to fight away the demons in my head; but they've overpowered me. I've tried picking up the broken pieces of my life, but I've ended up in a deeper hole; bleeding out for you. I've hoped it would make you mine again, but you don't even know that this is happening.

I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you leave. Just please don't ever leave me. I'll pick up my life again until I get you back. Even if it makes me bleed out, I will do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I'll do what ever it takes to get you back Mat. Just please don't say goodbye.

You were my light Mat. Without that light, I'm nothing. I miss you so much. But do you miss me? Do you ever regret leaving? You probably don't. You had your reasons I'm sure. I still love you Mat. But I can't take this anymore. I'll always remember us. Our first kiss. Our first date. Our last night as a couple. And our last goodbyes. Well, this is my final goodbye Mat. 

I love you Matty boy,

Brandon

~Time Skip and Mat's POV~

I stared at the pale body one last time as they closed the lid to the coffin and lowered it into the ground. Tears streamed down my face as I continued to stare at where his face was. 

Why did I leave? Why was I so stupid enough to leave the only person I wanted to love? He's gone now because of me.

The note Brandon had written me sat folded up in my pocket. I had read it to the audience that had appeared for Brandon's funeral. Everyone was in tears and I had to stop midway because my sobbing got so bad; my mother having read the rest.

People began to leave as the clouds began to rain. Both mine and Brandon's parents put their hands on my shoulder before walking towards their respective cars. I was the only one who stayed.

I fell to my knees as the men finished filling Brandon's grave. Sobs racked my body as I knelt there in the grass; grasping Brandon's favorite flower in my hand. Putting the flower on Brandon's grave, I pulled out another object and held it tightly as I began to sing.

"'Cause there'll be no sunlight, If I lose you, baby. There'll be no clear skies if I lose you, baby. Just like the clouds my eyes will do the same. If you walk away, everyday it will rain." I sang sadly as I put the knife against my neck and quickly pulled it across.

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And done. This made me cry while I was writing it. Gosh dang it I'm crying again. 

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed! See you guys in the next one!

~Mia