LIam

My anger wants justice. I still can't believe that Alex asked me to give away my paternal rights. Yeah, like that's going to happen. My mind, however, starts with the counterargument that I had already given them up when I asked Cat to give up this baby, but I didn't know what I know now.

I still don't think Cat and I are ready to be parents. However, that's a moot point since she is keeping the baby. We are going to be parents, regardless. Now I have to decide what kind of parent I want to be.

I think of my own parents. My mother is always caring. Always supportive. My father...

He's an overbearing a-hole who doesn't care what anyone thinks. Cat glances back at Alex and me with concern. I want to wring Alex's neck for giving her another problem now. Doesn't she have enough to worry about? I'm scared to death, wondering what we are about to hear. I can't imagine how she feels.

Cat shakes her head and continues walking ahead of us. Normally, she would be by Alex's side. Now she's on her own. It's obvious what just happened has put a wedge between them. I wonder...

The Doctor introduced himself and offered us a seat of which there were two. Cat took one, and I took the other, forcing Alex to stand behind Cat.

The doctor looks confused to see the three of us in the room. He looks directly at Cat and I.

"Are you the child's parents?"

"Yes," Cat and I say in unison.

"And you are?"

Alex puts a hand on Cat's shoulder. "I'm her fiancé."

I notice Cat is still wringing her hands, her whole body is tense. I want to take her hand as I'd seen Alex do earlier, but I'm too on edge myself. Cat reaches over and stills my bouncing leg and our eyes meet. I can't believe she's worried about me at a time like this. Screw, Alex. I place my hand over hers and she turns back to the doctor.

"Please don't sugarcoat this, and don't scare me either. I just want the facts, okay? Is the baby going to be, okay?" she asks.

Cat is so brave. She got straight to the point but I can feel her hand digging into my leg. It's all a front. She's scared to death and I realize, so am I. She's shown me pictures of the ultrasounds before, but nothing could prepare me for seeing our child alive and moving on that screen.

The doctor smiles. "Your baby shows no signs of heart issues, things seem at this point to be going well."

Cat pulls her hand back to cover her lips as a sob escapes it. Tears are now streaming down her face. Alex reaches over and pulls a few tissues out of the box on the doctor's desk to hand to her.

"So, the baby is fine. There's no chance of something bad happening?" I ask and the doctor's smile goes away. Why did it go away? Don't go away.

"I'd will be remiss to tell you there is zero chance of something happening to the baby. What we know now is at this stage we can rule out some things but that still doesn't mean the child or Cat is out of danger."

I stood up so suddenly that Alex had to catch my chair from falling backward. He sets it right. "What do you mean, Cat is in danger?" I demand to know.

Cat takes my hand and pulls me back to my seat. "I'm already aware, Liam. Even if everything was perfect, childbirth is a risk, but with the pre-eclampsia and the single valve cord, it makes things more....complicated."

"You didn't tell me you were in danger, too."

Cat shakes her head at me the way I've seen her do a thousand times when I've said something daft. "You've seen me in the hospital how many times now, Liam?"

"Yeah, but I thought you said all that goes away when the baby is born."

"It should," said the doctor, "resolve itself when the child is born, but we will be monitoring both you and baby more closely from here on out. I want you to come once a week so we can continue to monitor the baby's heart rate and we will make certain on the day of your C-section surgery that we have the prenatal unit standing by in case there are any problems. The best response to any issues that arises is an immediate response. That being said however there is no reason for you to believe that this child won't be born healthy and that both mom and baby won't be fine. It's mostly precautionary."

"You said, C-section? Surgery? Why does she have to have surgery?"

Cat gives my hand a squeeze, and I try to calm myself down but I don't like what I'm hearing.

"It's what's best for the baby and me, okay? They've got this. Trust them."

I can't believe she's reassuring me at a time like this. She has to be scared out of her mind. How can she... no that's how she's always been. Cat takes care of everyone else around her, she always put my needs before her own. I never realized how much she took care of me until I was forced to take care of myself, but I can't let her do it again.

"What can I do?"

The doctor looked surprised by the question. "What can you do?"

"Yeah. Is that so strange to ask? She's going through all of this. There's got to be something I can do. Some way I can help. Am I just supposed to sit here and know she's putting her life in danger trying to keep our child safe and do...nothing?"

"Be good to her," was his answer. "Try to reduce her stress as much as possible. Make sure she's getting enough sleep, eating well, and getting out every once in a while. Keep it simple."

"That's it?"

"I'm afraid so. What happens next depends greatly on how well she takes care of herself and how well the baby responds to that care. So, keeping Mom happy, keeps baby on the right track."

Mom? That's right Cat's my baby's mom. I'm no longer worried about the baby. I know Cat enough to know she'd move heaven and earth to make sure this child comes into this world fighting but Cat... she's the worst at taking care of herself.

"I'll make sure of it," I heard Alex say.

"Good. We're all settled then. Unless you have further questions?"

Cat shook her head no, and stood up. Alex reaches over and shakes the doctor's hand. I'm an outsider. I'm an outsider to my own baby, to this whole process, to being able to take care of Cat and I hate it.

"Be sure to make an appointment before you leave today, Cat."

"Okay, thank you! For everything." 

The doctor chuckled. "Don't thank me. Just keep up the good work, Mom. You're doing great."

Cat's smile took my breath away. I could tell she craved that reassurance. She doubts herself, no matter how hard she tries, she always doubts she's doing enough, being enough, trying hard enough. It's one of the things I found annoying about her. How can someone be so great at so many things and still be that unsure of themselves? It never made sense to me. If I wasn't confident in my life, I'd never have gotten as far as I have.

"Liam? Do you have any questions?"

Both Cat and Alex are looking at me expectantly because they are both about to leave, and I haven't even stood up yet. "No, I'm good. I think."

"Okay, then," Cat waved me over to join them, and I put myself on follow. I had no other choice.

Cat made her appointment, and we were walking back to the car when Cat said, "I'm starving. We're going to get something to eat. And then you too are going to explain to me, in detail, what that conversation was about that I walked into."

Alex sighed and I suddenly felt panicked. We're not supposed to stress her out. We're supposed to keep her calm and happy. We can't talk about this.

"It's nothing, Cat really. I took something Alex said out of context. I was just nervous, you know. A lot of firsts for me here, and it's a lot to take in all at once." Cat looked about to say something and I threw myself under the bus to keep the subject on me.

"I know what you're going to say. If I just accepted things, I wouldn't be an outsider to all of this. I would know what's happening, and I wouldn't have been so shocked, and you'd be right."

Cat stopped walking, causing Alex and me to stop as well.

"Let's get this out in the open right now. You are not an outsider. You are this baby's father and nobody will take that from you. You can walk away, but that's your choice. Biologically, however, this kid is yours, but Alex... will be his or her father too" She held up her ringed finger. "We are getting married, but that doesn't mean you can't be a part of this baby's life, or our family. You get that, right?"

Alex stepped forward and held out his hand. "If we want Cat to be happy, we need to work together. You're right, I could have worded what I said better. My only concern is her and her baby's well-being. So for her sake..."

It looked like it pained him to say that, but I knew I'd be a fool to turn his offer away. I shook his hand, "For Cat."

"For Cat," he agreed.

"GREAT!" Cat said now walking away with a bounce to her step like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders and has made her physically lighter. "Where are we going to eat?