Xian's POV 

I feel like kicking myself for having made Jun insecure. But in my defense, I could never have imagined that calling him old and boring will hurt him. After all, hadn't we just confessed to each other? Hadn't I made it clear to him that I loved him.

I guess not.

When I had found him tearing up after the siblings had left, thinking that I was going to abandon him, is when I realized that there was a big difference between how I saw Jun and how he saw himself.

He doesn't understand how perfect he is and how much I want him. 

 When he had closed the distance between us, I could feel his need for me. Once again, it makes me wonder how long he had been feeling this way for me. I knew we couldn't be with each other, at least not till he felt comfortable to do so: he worried about so many things, so ask him what we could do. I was ready to accept whatever he wanted to give me willingly. 

 When he catches my gaze, I can see the inky darkness of his orbs swim with heat of passion. I want to drown in them. My heart tries hard to break its confines, thumping loud and fast.

The feel of his teeth and lips now cemented in my mind make me reckless despite my better judgment. 

 When I ask him what we could do, I fear that he will push me away, but he doesn't. He holds me like he has done many times before, but it doesn't satisfy my needs, my greed. I take this opportunity and kiss his cheek. But he puts his foot down when I try to lead him to my room.

Well, I tried. 

He changes the subject, and we end up having dinner instead. But if he thinks that I have given him an out, he would be wrong. I wolf down the food disregarding his advice to go slow. 

 As if I have it in me to go slow now that I know you want me too.

Deciding not to cross the boundaries Jun had set but at the same time wanting to be close, I don't let Jun finish his dinner. I shamelessly ask him to pay me, and when he agrees, I bare myself to him. 

 Can't you see my desperation, Jun?

 He walks away as expected, but I am relentless. I turn him around and embrace him.

Sandalwood and cinnamon?

Your scent has changed, Jun. Did you know that? 

Without intending to, I remind him that he is mine. After the words leave me, I hear Jun whimper. It is then that a familiar fear grips me.

Did I use The Voice?

But my fears are put to rest soon enough, for Jun offers no resistance when I urge him to mark me again. I can feel his resolve ebb away and decide to tease him some more. 

 I lick the shell of his ear to get a reaction, and boy, do I get one. He sweeps me off my feet and sits me on the counter.

His eyes are burning with desire as he steps between my legs and starts kissing me as if given a choice, he could devour me. I feel faint, and by force of habit, my fingers rake the hair at the base of his neck. His grip on my waist tightens, and he strokes it. 

 I love it.

Unexpectedly, Jun breaks character. His usually restrained hands glide over my front, tracing my abdomen and chest. It is exciting and surprising. He proceeds to lick into my all too willing mouth and strokes my tongue. I feel like I am flying; the scent of cinnamon sinks into my skin.

I want to ask him if he had noticed the change in his scent, but before I can, he pulls at the collar of my shirt, exposing my shoulder to cool air.

A moment later, I can't help but moan loud and dirty when he sinks his teeth into my shoulder.

I think I will come untouched if he keeps this up. I want him to touch me. 

 I pull him close, wanting to feel him, and run my hands over his shoulder blades and back. I feel him; he is no better than me.

Aroused... Wanton... Mine.

He sucks the bruise he had given me, and the need to push him further fills me. But before that, I need him to soothe the bruise. I call his name, wanting to voice my thoughts, but I realize that I don't need to. His moist tongue guides over the bruise; numbing the pain, it leaves me with pleasure.

I lean away; he blinks. I can see that he is going to second guess his actions. I can't have that. "Are you still hungry, or has marking me satisfied you?" I enquire, trying to be seductive. But I guess I am not as alluring as I think I am.

Did my words startle him? 

Or perhaps did I offend him in some way? 

How could I be so stupid and selfish!?

I knew how Jun felt, and yet I had done what I was not supposed to. What if he blames himself now? What if he raises his guard and blocks me off?

You truly fucked up, Xian! 

Then another, much scarier thought enters my mind: had I used my voice and made him do things against his will?

Jun leans away. He is looking at me, but his eyes are far away. His brows knit. He shakes his head. His next words confirm my thoughts when he whispers, "No. It couldn't be. Could it?" his eyes widen. He looks shocked, like he had realized something, something horrible.

No. It can't be. I didn't mean to do it. I needed to tell Jun that.  

 "Jun?" I call, and he finally looks at me.

"Jun, I am sorry. Did I make you do something against your will again?" I defend myself wanting, begging him to understand.

Something akin to resolve replaces shock and cupping my face, he states, "Xian, we need to talk."

It feels like the calm before the storm, like whatever Jun is about to tell me will distance us from each other.

"Jun, don't. Listen, I don't think I used The voice." I beg. He shakes his head and lifts me off the counter, and lowers me to the floor. "Is that why you are crying, thinking that you took advantage of me?" He demands, and I nod, "Isn't that why you pulled away?"

He smiles; calm washes over me. He strokes my arms and brings our foreheads together, "Even if I try, I can't pull myself away from you, my prince. It is as you said, I am yours."

"Then why... " I start and feel him go completely still, "I want to talk to you about your father."

Are you kidding me, Jun!? We were in the middle of a make-out session, and you want to talk about my father!

His lips curl up into a smirk, "My prince is pouting again. It looks like I offended him, hm?" He holds my wrist, "Don't pout like that, please." He requests and kisses my cheek.

That's cheating, but I don't mind.

"Xian, " He pauses, a look of uncertainty crosses over his beautiful features. He sighs, and to my surprise, guides me to his room. It is the first time he has led me there by himself. 

 He gestures me to sit, and when I do, he walks between my legs like he had done before. But this time, his eyes are calm pools with a hint of concern. He pats my head like he used to when I was younger and looks at me apologetically, "Xian, I am afraid that I haven't been honest with you."

What!?

"It was not my intention to do so, but for the past few days, the things that have happened between us-" He starts cautiously, but I put my hand over his mouth.

I can't hear him talk about how he regrets the things that had happened. "Jun, please don't say that you regret this, us."

"I don't regret it now, but I know it's not right. And I think that if we were to do more, I would, I would regret it." He replies, trailing his fingers over my brows, looking dejected. 

"Why?" I enquire, holding his cold soft hands between mine; he smiles, "I have told you a lot about the underworld, haven't I?"

I nod. Taking a seat next to me, Jun continues, "You know that most of what I have written is what I have seen with my own eyes or heard for my brothers. I have fought them, slaughtered them, lost my brothers to them over thousands of years."

"Yes." I agree. I knew all the words he had written by heart. I had done it to understand him, his home, and his family better.

"Xian, all these years, I was under the impression that your father was human." He pauses and holds my wrist, "Meimei... when she returned." He trails off. He searches my eyes and goes silent.

"Jun, are you telling me that my father was not human?" I enquire, and he nods.

"Then what was he?" I press on, and he shakes his head without looking at me, "I am not sure. When you were younger, I was sure that your father was human: you fell sick often, you used to cry and throw tantrums, you fell multiple times while trying to walk. What I mean is that there was nothing out of the ordinary."

Somehow as he is saying these things, I can't help but feel hurt. But I don't know the reason why. After all, he was merely stating facts.

"When you entered teens, we fought, often; we never saw eye to eye. You hated me and voiced it often." As he says this, a sad smile graces his lips.

"Just like a parent, I hoped and prayed that things would go back to how they were when you were little. Finally, I gave up, and I sent you away to a boarding school." He stops and catches my eyes, "Every day without you felt like a millennia, Xian. But I don't regret it, for when you returned, our relationship became better. You smiled more, and we got along better. Everything was good. Normal." Jun finishes and strokes the underside of my wrist.

"Jun, it's alright. Just say what's on your mind." I reassure him; he starts again, "The only thing that has always been bothering me, however, were your nightmares. They stated when you were a toddler, and they used to leave you shaken. What bothered me was that they were always the same. You always used you cling to me after them pleading me not to leave you. I had hoped that as you got older, you would be able to remember more, tell me more. But unfortunately, you started recalling lesser and lesser." He pauses, his brows knit, "Did you get nightmares when you were at the boarding school?"

"No," I reply. Apprehension builds up inside me. I have a feeling that I might have to come clean as well. How will Jun react when I tell him that I have been lying to him?

"So you only had nightmares when I was around, " He contemplates, "It must be my aura then."

"I don't follow." What has Jun's aura got to do with my nightmares, I wondered, since I had stopped getting them years ago. After all, they had only returned recently. They were the only ones I could remember clearly.

"I have always believed that my presence was the reason behind your nightmares. My aura somehow triggered your connection to heaven and your mother. You were probably dreaming about things that might come to pass in the future. But you could never recall them, unlike your mother."

No! That can't be.

"What do you mean, Jun?" My heart starts pounding.

"Your mother could see the future. It was one of her gifts. The things she saw almost always came to pass, unless father interfered."

What are you going on about, Jun!?

His eyes narrow, "What is it, Xian?" He asks, pulling me in his arms, and I realize that I am shaking. "There is no need to be scared. I will let no harm come to-" He stops abruptly and searches my eyes, "Xian, can you recall your nightmares? What have you seen?"

I don't want to answer. The things I had seen in those horrid nightmares flash across my mind: Jun screaming, him losing his wings, him at the mercy of Heavenly Father before he takes Jun away from me. 

 Another scene enters my mind: Jun bound by iron, shoulders slumping, kneeling in front of a thrown, looking like a lost man. Me sitting next to a man with monolid eyes, whose aura was as hot as Jun's was cold, his all-knowing predatory smile, a smile I had felt directed at me recently.

Hua! 

"Jun, there is something I need to tell you." I blurt out, and he nods, "Go on."

 "I don't know how to explain it, but... Hua's voice, it was- it made me feel hot like I was standing in front of a blaze. It called to me, so much so that I had to restrain myself from running to him."

Jun blinks, and his eyes widen. A split second later, they narrow, "You felt the need to approach him?"

I nod.

"But you did not. What stopped you?" Eyes curious, he puts his hand on my forehead.

Why is he doing that? 

"I filled my thoughts with you," I reply, and he looks at me, bewildered. "Thoughts of me?" He repeats, and I feel my cheeks heat up, "I thought about us."

"Oh." He blinks as if I had just spoken gibberish and nods.

Why are you so dumb in matters of the heart, Jun?

I cup his face and urge him to understand, "Us, Jun." I whisper, and the tips of his ears turn scarlet, "Us." He parrots and covers my hands with his. "Are you sure you did not imagine it, I mean the effect the voice had on you?"

"No, I did not. But even after I stopped myself from getting affected by it, I could still feel the power behind the voice, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had seen Hua before."

He lets go of me and stands, "Have you figured out where you have seen him?"

I remain silent.

"You saw him in your nightmare, didn't you?" He presses on. I continue to remain mute, but I know it's no use denying it now. I knew that our lives were about to change, that the castle I had built hoping to shield our love, our lives were going to get washed away by waves that I could not control. 

"Xian," He calls, his voice choked with emotion, and turns to me. There is despair in them and pain.

Why?

{Note :- That's it for this update. Sorry it got a little delayed.

The next book I will update will be The Fine Print and after that I will be updating my ONC entries.

I want to thank those how have added Fated to Serve to their reading list and those who have read, voted and commented on it (all four of you ❤❤❤🤗🤗🤗)

Please Vote for this update if you have enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}