YiJun's POV

I can hear Xian in the shower; my heart aches so does my body. I wasn't lying when I had told Xian that my restraints were weakening. I am struggling not to glance at him...the allure of his body, the pull of his charms...It is taking everything in me not to barge into the shower and hold him, kiss him...claim him....be claimed by him. I am his and his alone.

I realized that there were other things that I had almost missed.

How was Xian able to breach the barrier? He had the blood of the underworld running through his veins, I was sure of it, and only celestial beings could enter it. Only those more powerful than me could make it fall.

"Jun, are you sure you don't want to come and help me?" Xian's words drift over to me. I am ashamed to say that I actually entertain the thought before logic prevails, and I reply sternly, "Just do what you are told!"

I pry that he couldn't see through my words and leave a sigh of relief when I hear him huff.

"So bossy!" He mutters and squeezes the body wash gell. A second later, its fragrance reaches me, and I lose the battle I was fighting with myself since Xian had left my side; I turn around.
I shouldn't have.

True to his words, Xian had left the door ajar. My tongue feels like parchment. My thirst drowns out every other sense. Without realizing it, I get off my bed and enter the bath. Thankfully, the steam rising from the bathtub clears my mind. However, I continue to stand and watch. Thank Father, Xian is immersed in water; his face and naked shoulders are the only visible parts. He rolls his shoulder blades, creating waves in water, making it splash at the rim of the tub.
Xian's lips curl up in a smile. Keeping his eyes closed, he bites his lower lip, "Jun..." he breaths softly. I hold back a moan, turn tail, and rush out.

'What is wrong with you, Jun!?' I reprimand myself trying to calm my thumping heart. 'I love you, Jun.' I recall his words, and it somehow does the trick. Yes, we love each other. Nothing can come between us. I won't let it.

My feet lead me to my study the wheels in my mind start turning again. I wish I could ask Xuan who it was that he had given her heart to. Alas, I had already closed that door when I had fallen. Coming to a dead end on that matter, I think about other similarly pressing issues.

How was Xian able to command my sword and wings?

I was sure that Hei Chi was the one who had pulled my soul to the underworld and that he was presently possessing Hua. Qing would have to be someone close to him; She would have to be someone he trusted, someone who was unconditionally loyal to him.

What Hei Chi had done was against the rules agreed upon in the treaty. Had Hei Chi abandoned all fear? Why, after so many years, had he become so reckless? Was he not afraid of angering Father?

'I am a weapon.' Xian's confession dances at the back of my mind.
Are you a weapon created to bring down my Father, Xian? Are you the reason Hei Chi is so sure of his actions?

My conclusion seemed logical. After all, I was heaven's deadliest weapon, and it was crystal clear that now, not only me but my weapons were loyal to him. Once again, I fall into the trench of uncertainty.

By pledging myself to Xian, had I spelled the doom of humanity? For if heaven falls, it would drag mankind with it. Did my selfishness know no bounds? Would I be alright with sacrificing the world just to be with Xian?

Xian's heart was untainted. He was a pure soul; I was willing to bet my existence on it. If I were to stand with the underworld, Hei Chi's world, and spill blood in his name, would Xian look at me the same?

I am brought back from my musings when Xian taps my shoulder, "Jun, what are you doing here?"

I turn and find Xian dressed in my clothes: khaki pants and a dress-down shirt. I ignore his question and ask one of mine, "Are you going out somewhere?"

Xian nods, "Yes, but before I tell you where I am going and why I and doing it, I needed you to tell me what happened to you, and I want to tell you all that I saw and felt."

"Go on," I reply, for what he had suggested made sense. He fills me in on all that had happened between him and the imposter, and I tell him what I had encountered in the underworld, omitting the part about the pain it had caused me. It was nothing compared to what I had done to him, anyway.

However, without even me mentioning it, Xian can guess it. I blame my stories and all I had told him about my kind. Tears well up in his eyes, "All my life, all I have ever brought you is pain, isn't it, Jun?"

"You have brought me nothing but love, Xian." I reply and can't help but lift his face up and kiss his tears, "I have never blamed you for anything, you know that. And if I were to turn back time, I would choose you all over again." I reassure me, and a sad smile settles on his countenance.

"Jun, do you think I was created so that the underworld could manipulate you through me?" He questions as if reading my mind. I want to lie, but we had decided that we won't do that anymore, so I stick to the facts, "That's the conclusion I have drawn."

Xian lowers his eyes, "At least you are not lying to me anymore." He leaves a shallow breath and nods. He catches my eyes. They brim with resolution, "This is good. Now that we know what's on their mind, we can plan ahead." He steps away from me. I glance at his backpack, which is struggling to hold form and balance on account of being overstuffed.

"Jun, there is something I want to make clear before we proceed further." Xian presses on and starts guiding me to the dining table. I follow, and when he asks me to take a seat, I comply, "Jun, I will never side with the underworld. Hei Chi will never be able to make me bend to his will. I will prefer death rather than making you choose between me and heaven. I know that the Heavenly Father may not always be just, but I know you love him still."

How did he know what I was thinking?

Xian smiles, "Don't worry, I can't read your mind. It's common sense. I know that you will stand against the world for me, to protect me, but I can't put you in that position."

I take his hands in mine, "Xian, you told me that Hua's voice affects you. How..."

"I also told you that I fought it, that I did not give in to it!" Xian interjects, sounding offended.

"Yes, you did." I kiss his knuckles, and it makes him smile,  "You have honed your cheating skills, I see." He teases and goes on, "According to what you told me about the underworld, it seems like by summoning your soul there, Hei Chi broke the rules. If that's the case, then surely there would be consequences."

"I had sealed my light. Heaven would not be able to..." I trail off as what Xian was trying to indicate dawns on me,  "Since he broke the rule, his body would be compromised. His power would be suspended temporarily. It could take him a few days to recover."

Doubt flutters across Xian's features, "Jun, if Hua really is Hei Chi, I think he would have surely kept a backup plan ready." His brows knit, "You never told me how the beings from the underworld can recover their strength." He reminisces.

He doesn't ask, but I can tell that he is curious. He wants to know. "They corrupt souls. Or visit places that offer humans an outlet to sin."

Xian's blinks confounded. I wait for my words to sink, and soon enough, he connects the dots, "Gambling centers, bars, brothels." He mutters under her breath. I can see the disgust on his face.

As a sinner myself, I feel the reaction deep within me.

He glances at me. I can guess what he is thinking. He must have despised me for how I had used sex as my weapon of choice to sin. I wish I could undo it all.

What would you have done instead, Jun? A voice deep within me demands rhetorically; I draw a blank.

Xian squeezes my hand, "Jun, from what transpired between us, it would look odd if I continued to stay with you."

His words pain me. Doubt starts to creep at the edges of my conscience, but before it can strengthen its hold on me, Xian moves and straddles my lap. Burying his face in my neck, he places his hand over my heart, "I hate this; I don't want to leave you, but if I do, Hua will believe the act that I had put on when he was controlling you. Moreover, I can also see the damage that he must have suffered after pulling that stunt."

I sigh and relent, "Fine. I have a meeting planned with Hua as is. I think I will bring you up then. A human won't be able to remember the things he would have witnessed in the underworld, so I would behave accordingly." I suggest, and he bobs his head. He wraps his arms around my neck, and without warning, pecks my cheek one at a time.

I lean back, "Xian, we are in the middle..."

"I know," He shrugs and cups my face, "but where is it written that I can't kiss you while being serious at the same time?"

I haven't learned to respond to such questions of his, so I remain silent.

"Aiyaaa," My prince shakes his head. His hands drop at his sides. All traces of joy leave his countenance, and he purses his lips in a thin line, "Jun, can't heaven side with us?"

I can understand why he had asked this. After all, one would expect a father to side with his child. Alas, I had closed that door when I had picked Xian over him. "It's better not to involve them," I reply vaguely.

"I bet they will let you return if you abandon me." Xian holds my gaze, "I am holding you back. I am the reason Hei Chi thinks he can topple heaven. Jun, think about it, with me gone..."

"No!" I growl. A place without Xian was not an option. "That's not an option. We are a team. We sink or sail together."

I guess he can sense the determination in my words; he doesn't argue. Instead, he sighs as if accepting defeat, "What do you plan to do then?"

"I haven't thought that far."

"Jun, there must be a way to contact my mother. I am sure she would side with us." He offers hopefully.

"Yes, there is a way to reach her, but it's dangerous for her. If my father gets a waft of it, he will be furious. There is no telling what he might do."

He shakes his head. "Jun, from what you have told me, Heavenly Father showed you mercy by not executing you right away when he came to know of my existence. Have you ever wondered why he merely suggested killing me? I was in his arms, defenseless; he could have ended me right then, but he did not. Maybe, he never wanted to kill me."

"No," I bite out stubbornly, "He would have killed you. I am sure of it." I try to keep my voice from shaking.

Had I misjudged my father?

If I had bent my knee to him then, would he have let Xian live?

"Jun...Jun." Xian's urgent voice interrupts my musings. I glance at him, unsure. He holds my gaze, "What's done is done. You did the right thing. Even if he wouldn't have killed me, there was no way he would have let us be together." He presses on.

Had Xian grown up away from me, would he have had a chance at living a long, happy life, a life devoid of threats?

"A life without you would be like a body without heart, my Jun. I don't regret falling in love with you. I never have, and I never will." He brights the underside of my wrist to his lips and kisses the faint scar marring its otherwise flawless appearance.

Had I thought out loud? How did he know what I was thinking!?

"Jun, I can feel it in my gut that mother would be able to help us. Can't you let go of your apprehensions and just try it...once?" He asks hesitantly, directing his killer pout at me; he bats his lashes. It's equal measures, cute and seductive. I can help but relent a little, "I will think about it."

I am doomed, I tell myself for the umpteenth time.

As soon as the words leave my lips, he grins like a cheshire cat, "Thank you." and nuzzles my cheek.

Risqué...Illusive...Mine.

{Note:- That's it for this update.

Unfortunately, my sinuses are bothering me a lot. As to when I will update next, I will announce on the message board.

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