Xian's POV

Everything happened so fast. It was like a dream. A nightmare. I had to stop it. I had to stop Jun from doing the unthinkable.

He had seemed so confident when he had told me that I would not be able to do anything.

Thankfully, I had proved him wrong. I had willed the barrier to fall, and it had somehow listened. The twin blades that were about to fall on his wings mercilessly had obeyed me too. 

Jun was surprised, to say the least. It was like he had even forgotten the use his monosyllabic responses, forgoing them in favor of nodding like a lost puppy.

How had I never asked to see his wings before, I wonder, throwing myself in his arms?

I felt the familiar fragrance of sandalwood surround me. Soon after, Jun's hands loosely draped over my shoulders. I finally understood what he was thinking when he was halfheartedly trying to push me away. I understood why he was trying to get rid of his wings.

I tell him that he was not at fault, that it was not him, but I can feel his reluctance to accept my reasons.

Yes, he still blamed himself.

I tell him that when he was forcing himself on me, I wanted it as well. I explain how I had thought about using 'The Voice' but had refrained from going on that path because I had felt that it would have been the wrong thing to do.

Even as I tried to make him understand, his eyes looked past me. I could tell that his mind was elsewhere.

I asked him what he was thinking about, but he didn't answer; he just asked, "Why?"

Perhaps what had happened had freaked him out or made him second guess himself. A familiar sinking sensation in my heart makes it difficult for me to breathe. I look at his wings and his sword, and it dawns on me that I had complete control over them. I already could control Jun.

The sinking sensation intensifies as things slowly start falling into place once again.

I could not only control Jun, but I also had the power to control his weapons, both of them.

'That is what you were created for.' The words Jun had said when he wasn't himself come back to me, confirming my worst fear.

Had Jun figured it out too? 

I ask him if he is thinking about abandoning me, and he shakes his head.

Panic dissipates, and calm washes over me. I needed to tell Jun what I had figured out. The one thing that I had learned from our ordeal was that we both wanted the same thing: to be together, and the only chance we had to come out of this was if we communicated.

'I will not hide anything from Jun,' I vowed and told him what I had concluded moments ago.

I tell him that I am a weapon. But before I can explain myself, his wings sway forward, and my mind fills with images of us on the bed.

It was not him. It was not my Jun.

I feel dirty, tainted somehow, and all I want is for Jun to cleanse me with his touch and make me forget the imposter's hands on me. "I will tell you all about it, but first, I need you to undo something." I request, and he asks, "What?"

"I want you to undo what he did," I demand.

Jun's eyes catch mine. It's like my words had pulled him out of his thoughts finally. His brows knit, "What did..." he starts and purses his lips like he doesn't want to go on.

I need him not to blame himself. And I need him to talk to me. I wanted to know why he wasn't able to stop, why he couldn't control his actions. He had looked positively surprised when he had seen the marks on my body. I wanted to know what had happened to him. But most of all, I wanted him to understand that what had happened had in no way affected what I felt for him, that I needed his touch as much as I needed his heart.

I embrace my angel again, just to make sure he is still Jun and not the imposter. I feel relieved when the mild, calming fragrance wafts towards me.

"Jun," I call and make him look at me. "Kiss me, please."

His eyes widen. He tries to step away. It hurts me to see him so unsure of himself, for I could read his mind. I knew what he was thinking.

I refuse to let him push himself away and grab his forearms. "Listen to me, Jun. Listen well. I love you; you haven't done anything wrong. We are meant to be. I know that you are scared that you will hurt me again, but that's not going to happen."

I lean in, bringing our foreheads together, and ask, "I am not scared of you. So please stop blaming yourself. Will you sleep with me tonight?"

I hear his breath hitch. He goes absolutely still. "I don't think we should."

I chuckle, and he finally looks into my eyes, bewildered.

"Did you expect me to say that?" He demands, pouting. I don't think he realizes that he is doing that. Without thinking, I connect our lips; he stops breathing. I step closer and nip at his lower lip. He shudders and relents.
His hands come to rest on the small of my back.

I let go of his lower lip and kiss his jaw. "I know that we can't make love, Jun, at least not yet. But that doesn't mean we can't kiss and cuddle, right? One thing that I have come to understand is that it doesn't matter what I feel for you or how deep my feelings run for you; the most important thing is that I don't want things that you don't want."

A ghost of a smile touches his lips, then, as if reading my mind, he asks, "Are you telling me that you can control your actions?" The tips of his ears turn scarlet.

I nod, and he continues. "What if my control slips? My restrain is weakening, Xian; I can feel it. Every second of every day, my desire to..." He pauses and gawks at his lips, "my desire to be with you grows. I am afraid that I will hurt you again. Even without being possessed, I might hurt you."

After pouring his heart out along with his fears, he goes silent again. He rests his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my waist.

I understand him. I really do. But I don't want to give the bad guys from heaven and the underworld satisfaction that they had won. "Jun, you won't hurt me." I rub his arms and ruffle his hair. They slip through my fingers as if shy.

Jun, even your hair doesn't fail to tempt me.

I pull away and walk us to his bed. He doesn't refuse. He averts his eyes when I discard my shirt and climb onto the bed. "Jun, look at me, please." I request and bring his palm to my heart. "Feel my heart, Jun. What does it tell you?"

"It's calm."

"Yes, it is. I am not scared of your touch." I explain, but he looks unconvinced. Something occurs to me then. "Jun, do you remember any of it?"

He shakes his head. Feeling relieved, I unbutton his jacket, and he lets me. But when I try to do the same to his shirt, he grabs my wrist. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you into something more comfortable." I deadpan and wiggle my brows.

"I always wear comfortable clothes." He replies, narrowing his eyes, and I realize that he is finally himself now. I can't help but smile at him fondly, "My dumb angel, I want us to take our relationship to the next level."

He purses his lips and shakes his head. "I don't think that's wise, Xian." Then handing me my shirt, he adds, "There is much we need to discuss."

I nod, humoring him, but don't accept my shirt. I reply in all seriousness. "I agree, and I want to do it on your bed with our naked bodies pressed against each other."

"Xian! This is not funny; I just... Mph!" I had expected this of him, and frankly, I was not in the mood to be lectured. So with the sole aim of stopping him, I pull him on the bed.
He lands on top of me; darkness falls around us as his wings shield and hide us.

With his cool (bordering on cold) frame pressing me into the sheets, it feels like I am staring at the clear midnight sky. I loop my arms around his neck. "Stay, please." I plead and kiss his flushed cheeks.

"Xian," He starts again, but I crush his efforts by claiming his lips once more in a soft kiss. "For once, just do as I say, alright? Trust me." I reassure him, and he nods and looks into my eyes as if awaiting instructions.

"Kiss me," I demand and expose my neck. The archangel's body stiffens for a second before he closes his eyes. Moments later, I feel his cold lips on my neck.

The urgency from before is gone. I can feel....practically taste Jun's restrain in the way he holds himself back as he rains kisses on my neck and shoulders before kissing the corner of my lips.

Our eyes meet when he lifts himself up and off of me.

"Not fair!" I complain and make grabby hands at him. He doesn't oblige, but his wings do. They sway forward and caress my cheek.

Jun's eyes widen. "How?" He mutters, looking at the tips of his wings caressing my brow.

"They love me," I answer and prop myself on my elbows. "And I love them."

Jun's brows knit, and he side-eyes his wings.

"What are you doing, Jun?" I ask when the wings move away.

"They are weapons, not playthings." He supplies, fixing me with a disapproving gaze.

I sit up and reach for them knowing in my heart that Jun's wings were mine to command. "Don't bother them, Jun."

I pull myself in Jun's lap despite him giving me a reprimanding look and refusing to hold me and kiss the jet-black cascading marvels.
I heard Jun gasp. He fists his fingers into the red satin sheets. Grabbing the opportunity, I start undoing his shirt.

This time, he doesn't stop me.

"Let me." He offers, sounding hoarse and tight, and looks over his shoulder.
The wings disappear.

"Where did...Ummm!" I start to crib but don't get far. Jun's lips are on mine, and his arms cage my body. 

 I am one happy and willing prisoner.

The fragrance of sandalwood intensifies as Jun pries my lips open and slips his tongue inside. His fingers caress my spine, sending blood pooling under my belly.

His tongue tastes the inside of my mouth before retreating, leaving me dizzy with want.

He lifts me up and lies me back down before discarding his shirt and bathing my eyes with his ethereal beauty.

I feel parched. The way he has positioned himself on top of me makes my heart race. He smiles fondly and hovers over me; bringing his fingers to the center of my chest, he looks at me questioningly. "Will you let me undo what he did?" He asks in a soft, calm voice.

Why are you asking me this, Jun? 

Then it hits me, for him, consent is everything. I nod, and he ruffles my hair before connecting our bodies and capturing my lips in a slow chaste kiss.

He intertwines our fingers and settles between my legs. Seconds tick by, and the kiss loses its innocence and becomes hungrier. I feel myself grow hard as our tongues meet and tease each other. Soon, we are out of breath.

Can you feel my desperation, Jun?

He looks at the side of my neck and tilts my head. "Does it hurt a lot?" He inquiries.

"Just a little."

He nods. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"But I wanted it. I was the one who asked for it, remember?"

"Mn." He nods again and starts placing kisses on the mark he had left on me. A split second later, I feel his tongue on throbbing flesh. I moan before I can stop myself.

I bury my fingers in his silky mane and pull him closer. He turns my face towards him. "Did it feel good, or did I make the pain worse?" He asks, sounding genuinely concerned. 

"It felt good," I answer, somehow feeling shy.

"Good." He states and moves lower, peppering my front with kisses. He caresses my bruised nipple gently. "It must have hurt a lot. It must be hurting still." He states more to himself than to me.

"Kiss it better." I shrug and wiggle my brows, but he looks past my act. 

 A pained look crosses his calm orbs, and a tear rolls down his cheek. "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

I lean up and kiss his tear away. "I know," I tell him, for I know them to be true. "I love you, Jun."

His eyes twinkle. He caresses my brows; a split second later, his tongue laps at my nipple. "Junnn!" I moan. I arch my back. Our chests kiss and part, leaving me wanting more. 

He continues his ministrations and only stops to shift his attention to the other one.

I feel a buzz spreading over my body as his lips close over my nipple sucking slow and tender. I feel like I have run a mile. "Jun?" I call, and he stops and looks up. "Did you not like it?"

I shake my head, "That's not it. I... I... " I stutter.

He nods understandingly and leans away. "No, that's not what... " I try to reach him, but he shakes his head. "I am not leaving you." He reassures, running his fingers over my thighs. Then stroking my jaw, he moves lower, leaving a trail of kisses from my chest to my waist.

"Turn over." He instructs, and I do as told. His fingers wander over my back before kissing my shoulder blades and finally the small of my back. He lies down next to me and pulls me to him.

As I lie with my head on his chest, he asks, "Did I miss any place?"

When he had asked me to turn over and touched my shoulders, I had understood what he was doing: he was replacing the imposter's touches with his.

"Xian?" He searches my face, and I realize that he is waiting for my answer. I am tempted to lie, but I hold myself back. "No, that's how far he got before I punched him."

He tilts my head up and kisses the corner of my lips. "You did good. Thank you."

He doesn't explain himself, and I don't ask him to either. I knew why he had thanked me. I knew that if something more had happened, he would never forgive himself.

Jun closes his eyes. His arms come to rest on my waist. I am beginning to think that he is borderline obsessed with it; maybe, it's his Kryptonite.

"Xian, your scent is overpowering my senses. I think you should go take care of it." He suggests, looking between our bodies.

My heart fumbles over itself as if it had missed a step.

Did Jun just ask me to rub one out!? 

I search his eyes for answers, and he smirks. "After what we did, it would be more surprising if you weren't hard. Now go before I am tempted to take care of it for you."

Feel my face heat up. "Don't give me ideas when you have no intention of following through." I flick his forehead.

"Ouch! That was harsh." He winces, rubbing it, smirking.

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes."

"I am glad." I square my shoulders and grab my towel. "I am going to bathe in front of you," I state, walking towards his bathroom.

"Mn?"

I look over my shoulder. "I am going to stroke myself thinking about you...your lips, your fingers." I pause and wink.

"Xian!" His eyes narrow and linger on my crotch for a second. I catch him before he can look away and continue, "And I will imagine you inside me as I come, calling your name."

Jun's jaws clench, and he growls. "Shameless!" Then, turning away, he buries himself in his quilt.

Blameless... Bashful... Mine.

{Note:- That's it for this update. I am planning to publish two chapters per week starting next week.

Please ⭐Vote⭐ on this update to show your support if you have enjoyed it.}