Xian's POV

I don't know why I mentioned Qing; I had not planned on it. But when Jun chose to hear me out, I guess I panicked. Yes, I want Jun. In every way I can have him, I want him. But what I most want is for him to stop sleeping with random women just for my sake. Since the time he had confessed to me why he did it, I had not been able to stop thinking about it. It hurt me to think how Jun must have felt all these years, just doing it.

But when I had tried to suggest what I had in mind, Jun had not even been ready to listen, and I had fucked up; I had used The Voice. Regret had filled me soon after, but it was already too late. Jun had become furious. And rightfully so. I had stolen a kiss from him without his consent just before dawn, and I had ignored his will and forced him to answer me merely hours later.

What kind of person does that!?

What kind of person takes without consent?

Was my mother really an Archangel like you? If yes, then why am I nothing like you?

I don't realize that I had gone silent till Jun taps my shoulder, "Xian, what's wrong?" He asks in a concerned tone, like always.

I am about to answer him when I notice that he looks a little pale. His eyes are sad, and his usually straight back is not that straight anymore. He looks like he is coming down with a fever.

"Jun, are you feeling alright?" I ask, feeling like I am the reason for him looking like this.

Had my request bothered him that much?

He gives me a small smile, "Of course I am fine, my prince." He says, trying to sound upbeat. He fails; his smile doesn't reach his eyes like it usually does. 

Something is definitely bothering him, I realize, and without warning, I launch myself at him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself into his lap. "Forget about it. You don't have to do it if you don't want to." I lean away and shake my head, "You know what, forget that I asked. Forget about Qing. Forget about the kiss."

Unexpectedly, however, Jun smiles, "Are you worried that you made me sick?" He asks, caressing my cheek, "You are a young man. It is but natural for you to have these feelings. It must be nice to love someone like that." He says wistfully. "I wish I could too." He adds as an afterthought.

His words confuse and confound me, "What do you mean, Jun?" I ask, and he shakes his head, "Nothing." He replies, continuing to give me a sad smile, and adds, "I...I can teach you how to kiss. But the truth is, I have never kissed out of love. Would you be okay with that?" He pauses and hesitates before continuing, "You love Qing. You want to make her feel with actions, not words."

"I don't understand."

"My prince," Jun ruffles my hair and elaborates, "When Heavenly Father made me, he wanted me to do his bidding. He did not want me to get emotional when it was time to pass judgment. So he made me incapable of feeling many human emotions."

What? But that is not possible!

I had seen affection in Jun's eyes. I was seeing it in his eyes now. Then how is it possible that he can't feel things!?

Then something else occurs to me, "You told me that my mother fell in love with a human. She was an Archangel just like you. If she can fall in love... "

Jun doesn't let me finish, "I told you we don't share the same blood. Heavenly Father created us but not with the same molds. We are like night and day. Part of the same cycle, but different from each other." He explains, and my heart breaks a little, "But you care about me. I know you do." I press on. 

Jun is lying to me about being incapable of having feelings- He has to be!

Jun smiles and pulls me into his embrace, "I did not say that I feel nothing. After all, I did love your mother. I was a loyal brother to her." He continues trying to soothe me, comfort me.

You are not comforting me, Jun; you are hurting me!

"So what are you trying to say!?" I bite out, and he leans away. He cups my face and brings our foreheads together, "A Xian, how can I teach you to kiss the one you love, when...." He trails off, leaving me completely heartbroken.

Jun shakes his head and looks at me with affection. "Xian, I am ready to do what you want, but I need something before we do this."

Why does he sound so resigned? It's Like he has lost his will to go on. 

Jun, you are worrying me!

I nod, "Ask away." I reply, trying to sound casual. I can't let him know that I am worried.

"Why me?"

"If not you, then who else?"

He smiles again. It's a defeated smile. Like he has lost a war, "That makes sense... I guess." He agrees before looking at me, "Xian, you know that you are the reason for my existence. You are my life's mission. Your happiness and safety are the only things I have ever wanted."

I cover his cold hands with mine, and his eyes soften, "Yes. I know." I reassure him, "Is something else you want to know?"

He nods and closes his eyes, "Can you promise me that you will never leave me?"

My heart starts pounding; I find it hard to breathe. What is Jun trying to say? Is he scared that I will leave him for Qing!? 

 "Jun, what makes you think that?" I ask, feeling hurt. Does he think so little of me?

He opens his eyes but averts his gaze, "Everyone does it... eventually. When they find someone they truly love... "

"Jun!" I exclaim, and he finally looks at me, "I don't love Qing!"

Fuck! I shouldn't have said that. I feel like kicking myself for I had backed myself into a corner.

"What?" He asks, narrowing his eyes, "If you don't love her... "

"I am horny!" I blurt out.

Double fuck! 

Jun blinks and leans away. He removes his hands from where he is cradling my face, "Excuse me?"

"I didn't mean that like that." I try to salvage the situation, but I know I am in trouble now.

Jun moves away from me, "I don't want to talk about it anymore, Xian." He says, turning away from me. "I know I have not been a good role model when it comes to teaching you about how you must treat them, but..."

"No, that's not it... " I start, but before I can do more, I hear Jun gasp.

He does a one-eighty; he covers my mouth with his palm and pushes me into the sheets. He settles on top of me and covers us with my blanket.

What the hell!? 

He signals me to remain silent and removes his palm from my mouth. 

 I have never seen Jun like this. His eyes are alert; his lips pursed, and I can see that he is holding his breath. 

 Our eyes meet, and he side-eyes the tent entrance, which I remember that we had left open.

"Stay silent. Don't move." He mouths.

Then it dawns on me; his angel eyes must have spotted something evil. After all, he had mentioned that his aura attracts vile creatures. And his aura had indeed grown brighter over the past few days. So possibly something evil might have gotten a whiff of his celestial glow and come looking for him.

But wasn't Jun strong? Hadn't he told me that he was still more powerful than anything that roams this realm? That could only mean one thing: he was trying to protect me!

A plan takes shape in my mind. I decide to throw caution to the wind and gather my courage. I snake my arms around Jun's neck, and without giving him time to react, I pull him close and place my lips on his.

Glacial... Salacious... Mine.

He gasps soundlessly, parting his lips, and I pull myself closer; I press my lips more firmly to his and feel him trying to pull away.

Not yet, My Love. Not yet. 

I tighten my grip around him and arch my back, inviting him to take me.

{Note :- That's it for today's update. Hope it was alright.

The next book I will update will either be TLB or Chu Wanning's Second Chance. At the moment I am not sure which.

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Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}