Xian's POV

Last night, I made Jun spend the night with me. I knew he didn't want to, but I forced his hand, nonetheless.

Am I ashamed of myself? No, I am not.

I don't know why that is, but without anyone to interrupt us, I can see how special I am to Jun. Sometimes I feel that the pull I feel towards him is mutual. Like he wants the same thing I do. But something is stopping him. I want to know what that is.

Last night when I teased him, he pinned me down and settled over me. It was only for a few moments, but in those few moments, I had felt that he wanted to kiss me. Of course, I can't be sure.

He never does anything but take care of me, but something has changed. Like the wall separating our two worlds has cracked. His eyes linger on me and so do his touches. That I can be sure of, but I don't know if he is doing it of his own free will or something in me is making him do it.

I want him, but not if he doesn't want me.

When I open my eyes, it's still dark outside. The lantern that Jun had lit had gone out hours ago, but the tent is glowing.

It's Jun; he is glowing. I can see his aura. It's brighter than it was two days ago.

So he wasn't lying after all. He does sleep with them to protect us. Now that I know the truth, it hurts more. It's suffocating, this feeling of helplessness.

I look at Jun's face and see the remnants of a faint smile on his lips.

Are you dreaming again, Jun?

I tilt his head up. "Are you having a good dream, Jun?" I ask his sleeping form, and he hums.

As he pulls me closer, a thought comes to my mind. I decide to use The voice again and see if it works. "Jun, sleep till I don't tell you to wake up," I command and wait for a minute.

I wave my hand in front of his eyes to check, but he doesn't move. Next, I ruffle his hair and pinch his cheeks; he doesn't respond.

Finally, I gather my courage and lean in. I kiss the corner of Jun's lips and look at his closed eyes.

Nothing.

Having confirmed my doubts, I become braver; I become shameless.

I trace his lips with the pads of my fingers; it's something I have wanted to do for a long time, and once I have committed the feeling to my memory, my lips replace my fingers. Our lips mate for a second. It's as I had expected. Soft and cold.

I am aware that I am doing it against his will, but I tell myself that I am doing it for a reason.

I lean away and look at his aura. Unfortunately, it's still the same. With the justification for my actions gone, I feel ashamed and embarrassed.

Jun had taught me better. He had taught me to respect all of God's creations. Jun had taught me about will and consent, but just then, I had ignored them all.

Guilty, I move away from him and use The voice again, "Wake up, Jun."

He stirs and slowly opens his eyes. His brows knit. He looks at my eyes and lifts his hand as if to cup my face, but he changes his mind just before it reaches me. He fixes my jacket instead; color rises to his cheeks. Clearing his throat, he leans away; he looks around, "What's the time?" He asks, trying to find his phone.

"Too early to rise," I reply, and he looks at me questioningly. "What are you doing up so early?" He enquires, sitting up.

"I was thirsty." I lie.

He nods, zips up my jacket that had come undone, "Stay, I will get it for you." he says and goes outside, only to return in a minute with a bottle of water. I observe that he has changed into his last evening's clothes.

What was the hurry, Jun?

I drink the water and lie back down as if everything was fine, as if I was alright. I wasn't.

Something must have shown on my face, for Jun's brows crease; he wipes my cheeks.

When did I start crying?

"Did you have a nightmare again?" He enquires, and I shake my head, "No."

"Then, why are you crying?"

"I don't know." I lie, I know exactly why I am crying, but I can't bring myself to tell him the truth. I can't bring myself to confess my sin.

Jun looks away, and his face clouds over with something akin to remorse. He sighs and smiles, "Today is day two." He says and comes straight to the point, "What's your next wish?"

"I haven't thought of it yet."

"Well, my prince, these wishes have an expiry date, you know."

What!? He hadn't mentioned that before!

I cross my hands over my chest, "You never said that!"

He smirks, "My promise, my rules."

All thoughts of shame and regret disappear from my mind; I feel betrayed. I glare at Jun and exit the tent, only to hear him laugh.

Just wait, I will get back at you for this soon enough, I promise myself.

When I finally look around, I am awed by the nature that surrounds me. I had missed it when we had arrived. Perhaps because it was already dusk or because I was too tired, hungry, and cold.

I look at the small pile of ashes (the remnants of our campfire from the night before). And reminisce about our time together: Simple and perfect.

I decide to take a walk and check out the surroundings. As usual, before I leave, I think of information Jun, but then I remember how he had teased and threatened me, and I decide against it; I wander off on my own into the woods (so to speak).

After walking for a few minutes, I realize that I had forgotten to bring the map the lady at the reception given us, and since it was my first time at this campsite, so as not to lose my way, I return.

Even though I had not strayed from the path much, it still takes me a little longer to walk back.

"A Xiaaaaannn! ......A Xiaaaaannnn!" I hear Jun's voice. It sounds desperate and scared. I pick up my pace and run towards the sound, and a minute later, he comes into my line of sight.

"Juuuunnnn!" I respond, "Over hereeeee!" I yell and start running.

"Xian!" He exclaims and pulls me into his arms. "Where did you go? I was worried!" He lets go of me and cradles my face in his hands, "Xian, promise me that you will never wander off again."

His eyes give me a once over. He looks scared and worried. "I am sorry." I mutter under my breath, feeling guilty; he hugs me again, "You are alright... You are okay. You are here. " He mutters, and his hands roam over my back and shoulders repeatedly.

Why is he so scared, I wonder, but don't voice my thoughts.

"Jun, " I cup his face and make him look at me. Sun rays fall on his jet black hair, making them shine; his lips look swollen.

Had I done that!?

No, not possible.

He had done that to himself while looking for me. That had to be it, I conclude; a strong desire to be held down and be kissed by him fills me. I forget what I was going to tell him and get lost in his intense, worried eyes.

"Jun..." I whisper. His brows knit again; he gulps and turns away, "You shouldn't have done that." He says in a barely audible voice and walks away.

His emotionless voice and his retreating back pulls me out of my daze. "Jun, I said I was sorry. I won't do it again." I promise, catching up to him.

When he keeps walking away, I hold his wrist, "You are not allowed to stay angry with me. I am the birthday boy." Remind him, and he stops but doesn't look at me, "Will you care if I leave you one day like you left me just now?"

"I won't let you leave me." I say resolutely, and he finally looks at me, "You don't understand anything." He bites out and enters the tent.

"What are you doing?" I ask, following him inside, but he doesn't answer. Instead, he starts packing up our belongings.

"Jun!" I yell and grab both his wrists, "What are you doing?"

"We need to leave. It's not safe." He replies. Cold. Distant. "Let go." He adds emotionlessly.

"Jun, that's ridiculous! We have two more days."

"We need to return. We have exhausted our food supplies." He informs matter-of-factly, and something he had said earlier makes me curious, "Wait. Jun, why is it not safe?"

"It's just a feeling." He brushes off my question and presses on, "If we leave now, we will reach base-camp by eight. We can have breakfast there and drive back." Then as an afterthought, he adds, "My aura grows stronger by the day. I have never gone so long without..." He trails off.

"Jun, there is no one here. It doesn't matter." I try to reason with him, but he shakes his head, "Let's go back." He repeats, looking dejected, defeated.

I want to use my voice; I want us to stay, but already having crossed the line in the wee hours of the morning and vowing never to do it again, I decided against it.

Just then, a thought comes to my mind, and I decide to take a risk yet again, "Fine. We can go back. But before we do, there is something I need."

"Your wish?" He questions, and I nod.

He sighs, "Okay. You can ask for anything, except wanting to stay here."

"Well, what if your aura is not a problem anymore?"

"Mn?"

"You want to leave because of your aura. Right? So if your aura diminishes, we can stay, right?" I enquire.

"That's not possible, Xian," Jun states, but I can see the wheels in his mind turning.

It's like he is making a list of sins in his mind and checking it off one by one. Then, after a few seconds of contemplation, he repeats, "It's not possible."

"Promise me that you will agree to my wish." I demand, and he shakes his head, "I want to hear the wish first."

The way he had replied, I knew that I wouldn't be able to convince him without making my wish known, so I nod, "Alright. You told me that the only way to diminish the aura is if you sin, right?"

He nods; I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. I take a deep breath and ask the almighty for his blessings before asking hesitantly, "Jun, would it be a sin if you were to kiss me?"

His eyes widen, and he goes still. Neither of us speaks for a few seconds, and then as if finally understanding what I had asked, Jun's brows knit and anger flashes across his face, "You shouldn't say such things." he blurts out and turns away from me.

He is trying to escape, I realize and grab his forearm and make him look at me, "You didn't answer me, Jun. Answer me!" I bite out.

Only after I had done it, I realize my error. I had used The Voice.

A pained look crosses his features. He purses his lips and closes his eyes. However, a tear still manages to escape. It rolls down his face. Guilt washes over me in waves, and I almost tell him not to answer, but before I can, I hear him whisper, "Yes..."

{Note :- That's it for today's update. Please feel free to point out any errors that you come across.

The next book I will update it TLB. (I don't know when that will be as it is festive season and my eyes are still not very good)

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Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}