a/n: i personally think 'hate you' by jungkook would be the perfect song for this chapter :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

taehyung was surprised to see jeongguk, and perhaps not as happy as he used to be- scratch that, he wasn't liking jeongguk's present at all. the sight of his best friend reminded him of the ignorance he had felt earlier today and how mira had been clinging to him.

it was an ugly feeling.

"what are you doing here?" taehyung asked, stepping forward with yoongi following him behind.

jeongguk who had been leaning against his bike suddenly straightened up, crossing his arms over his chest, his jaw tightly clenched and his eyes enraged. okay, jeongguk looked mad but why the hell?

however, what made the situation even more absurd was the fact that jeongguk wasn't even focused on taehyung. instead, his intense gaze was directed towards yoongi, who returned the stare with a blank expression. there was a peculiar connection evident in their eye contact as if they shared some sort of familiarity. it was hard for taehyung to comprehend how they could possibly know each other.

as the tension between the two men grew increasingly palpable, taehyung found himself caught in the middle.

"what are you doing with this guy, tae?" jeongguk asked back to taehyung without even turning to look at him, his gaze fixed solely on yoongi.

it was evident that they had some kind of history, which completely caught taehyung off guard- leaving him in awe of the unexpected familiarity between them.

both jeongguk and yoongi were introverts. taehyung doesn't know much about yoongi to assume but jeongguk? this guy barely got along with namjoon and hoseok. friends? jeongguk didn't have many. he mainly knew people through taehyung, but he rarely engaged in conversations with anyone other than namjoon and hoseok. yoongi, on the other hand, also appeared to be someone who didn't talk much. therefore, the fact that they both knew each other came as quite a surprise.

however, even if both boys knew each other. that was no way to greet a friend- the tension between them was so uncomfortable that taehyung had no idea what to do to lessen it. taehyung reckoned it was the usual jealousy oozing out of jeongguk to talk in that tone. if it was, then it was truly embarrassing. just when he had gotten close to yoongi, jeongguk was here to make things complicated.

even though taehyung usually didn't necessarily find it bothersome. all his life he has let jeongguk cross the line, scare the people that wanted to befriend him and behave just however he wants- jeongguk has gotten away with anything he has done to taehyung.

that baffles taehyung, knowing despite everything, his love for jeongguk remained unwavering, to the point where it became physically difficult for him to breathe whenever he was separated from his best friend.

even now taehyung would have been okay to put up with jeongguk's odd jealousy with the people he hangs out around. but after what jeongguk had done the whole day- how he ignored him for a girl he had barely dated for a few months.

just to know even if jeongguk was all he had, jeongguk wasn't the same as him made the situation different.

therefore, he wasn't comfortable putting up with jeongguk's childishness. no, he actually won't put up with it.

stepping ahead, he gained jeongguk's attention who now looked at him, his eyes softening naturally.

"i asked what are you doing here?"

"i wanted to talk... but you seem busy" jeongguk glanced at yoongi, something about his eyes enraging seeing the male confused taehyung.

"yeah, i'm busy. we can talk tomorrow" taehyung blankly replied. jeongguk's previously enraging gaze gradually softened again as he approached taehyung, his eyes locking with his. this time, a distinct frown began to take shape on jeongguk's face.

"busy with this guy? tae, you... you just come with me" jeongguk attempted to hold taehyung's wrist but taehyung shrugged it off and stepped back. jeongguk's eyes slightly widened from the sudden harshness.

"have you seen the time? this is not a time for chit-chat. go back home, we will talk tomorrow" taehyung avoided eye contact, looking somewhere else.

whenever taehyung displayed even the slightest hint of coldness, jeongguk's entire world would be thrown into disarray. he would be softer than usual, tailing behind taehyung saying or doing every kind of thing to soothe taehyung's anger or irritation.

but right now, jeongguk's reaction was something else. his eyes burned with an unfamiliar rage as he grabbed taehyung's wrist tightly- so tight taehyung winched in pain, trying to pull it away but jeongguk gave no space. there was no gentleness coming from the boy as it always does.

"jeongguk! let go!" taehyung snarled, trying to get his wrist out of jeongguk's grip but jeongguk had no intention of doing that as he looked into taehyung's eyes, something unknown glistening in them that taehyung couldn't recognize.

"it's a family matter alright? i really need you to come with me, please tae" jeongguk let out; his voice soft - the complete opposite of the tight grip he had on taehyung's wrist.

in the midst of taehyung and jeongguk's whisper battle just to not let the man behind hear, the very man coughed and started walking ahead.

they looked at yoongi who stuffed his hands inside his pants pocket and glanced at their hands that were practically all intertwined before looking back at their faces blankly.

"i'm heading inside first. take your time taehyung"

"ah yes hyung... goodnight" taehyung was embarrassed to even face yoongi. what would he be thinking after seeing jeongguk's bizarre way of meddling in someone's business? other times taehyung rarely ever cared but again, right now he wanted to be anywhere but with jeongguk. yoongi's company was far better at that moment.

"night" yoongi barely mumbled as he once glanced at jeongguk who had his piercing gaze set on him before he walked through the gate, disappearing from their sight.

once making sure yoongi had left, taehyung forcefully removed jeongguk's hand from his wrist, his actions displaying a certain roughness. locking eyes with jeongguk; a wave of knowing anger consumed him whenever he was mad at his best friend.

"family matter? seriously?" taehyung's eyes narrowed in a glare towards jeongguk, at his futile attempt of lying because if it was really a family matter, jeongguk wouldn't bother taehyung in the first place. he would isolate himself until taehyung would come to find him. so that was really a bad attempt to lie to taehyung but it at least got rid of yoongi.

"i had to..."

taking in a breath, taehyung tried to compose himself but emotions were overwhelming him quite a lot these days.

"what the hell is wrong with you?"

jeongguk felt a lump forming in his throat, his anxiety rising as he averted his gaze, desperately attempting to collect his scattered thoughts. but the image of yoongi and taehyung being side by side, taehyung's hand all over yoongi and yoongi looking at him like that, clouded his head. it made him feel one type of way he never wanted to feel.

"what were you doing with him? how do you even know that guy?" jeongguk asked, eyes slowly finding taehyung again.

"i should be asking you that. do you know him?"

"i... just don't talk to him, please"

"why won't i? he's such a nice guy- wait why am i even telling you that? as if it's gonna stop you from meddling in my fucking business"

"whoa whoa whoa" jeongguk laughed, a dirty laugh that worsened taehyung's once sunny mood as he watched jeongguk step closer, their shoes bumping but taehyung refused to step back and make the distance. jeongguk wasn't going to intimidate him or take control of the situation.

"you're going to talk like that to me for that guy?"

taehyung inched closer, now making their head bump and taehyung didn't know if it was in his head or if jeongguk really glanced down at his lips before again gazing back into his eyes.

thankfully the streets were empty and no people were around. if not, taehyung can only imagine how many eyes would be looking at them while passing by.

"if you're gonna be a fucking asshole, then i'll do it again and again"

"oh yeah?" jeongguk chuckled, his breath fanning over taehyung's face and at this point, taehyung didn't know what to feel. having his best friend this close never ends up well for his heart.

however, this time jeongguk wasn't playing around. he looked dead into taehyung's eyes after he was done laughing and something about jeongguk right now warned taehyung, that he shouldn't let the man continue his words. nevertheless, he did let him and he was about to regret it soon.

"how much do you even know about that min yoongi?"

"enough to know he's a nice guy"

"yeah, nice guy" jeongguk licked his lips, the next words slipping out of his lips with pure disgust.

"a fucking nice homo guy"

taehyung was taken aback by jeongguk's words, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. he instinctively moved backward, creating distance between them and allowing the chilly air to envelop his motionless form. but it did no good as taehyung stared at jeongguk as if he had seen a ghost.

"w-what?"

jeongguk sensing taehyung's state of shock felt as if he was getting a push to continue and he didn't waste time in doing so.

"you heard me right tae. that min yoongi is a homosexual... he likes men" jeongguk's face formed in disgust as he looked away for a second to just breathe. then he looked at taehyung again who was perhaps still trying to comprehend what the hell he had just heard.

taehyung really needed time to process what he just heard. the word homosexual and jeongguk saying it- it felt like a nightmare coming true. he has never ever seen jeongguk talking about this particular topic before, so suddenly when it's thrown his way, it is fucking shocking.

he couldn't even tell what was more shocking- yoongi being gay or jeongguk talking about homosexuality, that too with such a tone.

"how... h-how do you know?" taehyung asked, his eyes barely looking at jeongguk. for some reason, those eyes stared at him in a way that made him feel jeongguk was accusing him of that, and not yoongi. taehyung's heart was beating fast and maybe continuing this topic was going to hurt him in the worst way. but there was no turning back now either.

jeongguk looked around, making sure they were really alone and once he was sure of it, he sighed and rubbed the back of his head. looking down at his boots, he recalled the old memories and told taehyung them. "maybe you never noticed but min yoongi attended the same high school as us"

"h-he did?"

"yeah. he didn't stay for long though because he... well he was bullied"

"for being gay?" taehyung asked, his tone slightly trembling. jeongguk looked up from his shoes and gave taehyung a look that screamed 'why won't he be?'.

"what else?" jeongguk let out a dirty sneer, kicking a stone close to his foot. "someone saw him kissing a guy. after that, the news of min yoongi being gay spread around like fire. you don't remember about that?"

"i don't..." taehyung thought about it. his high school memories were mostly him finding out how he liked jeongguk and focusing on his studies. he wasn't into school gossiping either so perhaps he was unaware about it.

"honestly i wouldn't have known about it either since it was just an underground gossip but hoseok, that dude literally can't shut up. thanks to him, i knew who to avoid"

"after rumors spread around, he changed schools. gotta say, didn't think i'd see that homo ever again. especially with my tae"

jeongguk directed his gaze towards taehyung, his eyes narrowing as he attempted to decipher the emotions etched on his best friend's face. however, before he could make any assumptions, taehyung swiftly averted his gaze.

unbeknownst to jeongguk, taehyung was on the verge of tears, a burning sensation lingering at the corners of his eyes and his nose throbbing from the effort of holding back his tears. despite the pain and the overwhelming urge to let his vulnerability show, taehyung clenched his fists tightly, to control himself. revealing his true emotions at this very moment would undoubtedly raise suspicion in jeongguk's mind.

however, he couldn't help but ask a question.

"what's so wrong gguk?" taehyung slowly lifted his head and jeongguk was taken aback. after all, taehyung failed to hide the tears that were whelming in his eyes from jeongguk.

"what's so wrong in being g-gay?"

"wrong?" jeongguk inched closer, cupping taehyung's face in his hands making his tears stand out even more clearly. "everything is wrong in liking the same gender, tae. it's disgusting"

"they have the brain of a pig to like someone of the same gender. it's a mental illness tae..." jeongguk slowly yet gently swiped his thumbs over taehyung's eyes, making the tears get on them.

"don't cry. do you feel bad for min yoongi? or it's also making you disgusted like me? which one tae?"

sniffling, taehyung's jaw tightened as he forcefully pushed jeongguk's hand aside and took several steps back, creating a significant amount of space between them. the distance between them was so vast that it began to irritate jeongguk, but he couldn't bring himself to close it. how could he, when taehyung was glaring at him with a look of pure hurt?

"how could you say all that jeongguk? do words never stop at your tongue?"

"what do you mean-"

"it's disgusting? mental illness? r-really?" taehyung couldn't help this time. tears were rolling down his face and he had no plan on wiping them anymore. the words jeongguk uttered played in his head and he was scared, they were gonna play in his head for the rest of his life.

as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks, taehyung acknowledged the harsh truth. not only will jeongguk ever love him back, he will also think he has the mind of a pig to have feelings for him- jeongguk would hate him.

the mere thought of jeongguk seeing him as a contagious disease filled taehyung's heart with an indescribable pain; a pain that left him utterly lost and unsure of what steps to take next.

should he just confess and get out of jeongguk's life right this instant or should he continue to endure the charade of being nothing more than best friends, knowing deep down that his emotions far surpassed the boundaries of friendship? it was a decision that felt as weighty as a life-or-death situation.

"so what else? as a man you're not supposed to be attracted to another man... isn't that true tae?" jeongguk's question was accompanied by clenched teeth and enraged eyes. however, as he watched taehyung's silent tears streaming down his face and the shaking of his head, his facial expression softened.

jeongguk's eyes slightly widened, "it is not?"

"you know what jeon jeongguk?" jeongguk's heart hurt. why was taehyung calling him by his full name? he had never done that before.

"fuck you" taehyung quickly tried to wipe his tears but they stubbornly continued to fall as he began to walk away.

realizing taehyung was about to leave, jeongguk blocked his way and tried to grab him but taehyung flinched away.

"don't touch me"

"w-what did i do tae?" jeongguk panicked, his doe eyes getting bigger as he licked his lips, not knowing what he should do with his hands that just wanted to reach out for taehyung's body.

"you did nothing. it's me who did the wrong" taehyung's voice shivered, he contained the next words in. right now he was overwhelmed but that didn't mean he'd let out the biggest secret of his life to the person he desperately wanted to hide it from.

"i'm... i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said all that about yoongi... he's your friend, i shouldn't have-"

"shut up. let me go" taehyung tried to break through jeongguk's barrier but the boy didn't let him. the hint of fear was glistening in jeongguk's eyes and at that moment letting taehyung leave might just make him regret it really bad for the rest of the night.

struggling with taehyung, jeongguk won in stamina and wrapped his arms around taehyung's resisting body before hugging him tightly. he took the punches taehyung threw at his stomach and held him the closest he could. burying his face in taehyung's neck, jeongguk trembled.

"don't hate me, please"

"you're so fucking horrible..." taehyung sobbed, his heart aching from the words that had left jeongguk's mouth, the person he fell for so hard.

"for saying the truth?" jeongguk muttered against taehyung's skin.

"fuck you" taehyung kept punching him but jeongguk didn't budge. he wasn't going to let taehyung escape right now. if he did, he was afraid he'll never get to have taehyung in his arms again. the thought itself scared him.

"that min yoongi means that much to you that you're being this miserable, tae?"

i'm miserable because of you, jeongguk. taehyung wanted to say it aloud but he held it in like he always does.

"let me go" taehyung struggled. he was feeling suffocated, not physically but mentally. if he stayed this close to jeongguk any longer he might just burst all his feelings out in the open.

"n-no..." jeongguk shook his head, rubbing his face against taehyung's neck. his arms trembling around taehyung yet he held him tightly.

"i said let me go!" taehyung elbowed jeongguk so hard in the stomach that jeongguk yelped in pain, his arms loosening around taehyung letting the male break free from his iron grip. jeongguk crouched down from the pain- guess taehyung's military training didn't go in vain after all.

jeongguk's eyes narrowed in pain as he glanced up at taehyung, who was now running away. shaking his head, jeongguk didn't care about the pain and stood up, chasing after taehyung. but he was too late in catching the boy- for by the time he reached the gate, taehyung had cruelly slammed it shut, preventing jeongguk from entering.

"tae! open the gates! listen to me!" jeongguk kept banging on the gates but taehyung remained unmoved, his body slumping against the gate as he shut his eyes tightly, allowing the tears to flow uncontrollably down his cheeks,

go away... please... leave me alone.

"i'm s-sorry... don't hate me tae. please talk to me" jeongguk rested his head against the gate, whispering the words out.

"why are you acting like that? what did i say so wrong?" jeongguk rasped out and taehyung wanted to laugh. exactly, nothing was wrong with his words. his hatred wasn't pointed toward him so why did he push him away? oh, only if jeongguk knew what he had done.

jeongguk unknowingly made taehyung realize how disgusting he was to have feelings for his own childhood best friend - someone who's a man.

"tae, speak to me!" jeongguk slammed his fist against the gate with such intensity that it caused taehyung's entire body to shake in resonance with the vibrating metal.

after that, it was silent for a minute or so. just when taehyung thought jeongguk had gone away, the male spoke again.

"you're my best friend, kim taehyung. if you think i'll let you hate me for some random guy, then you're dead wrong" jeongguk clenched his jaw, glaring at the gates as if taehyung could see.

"goodnight tae. i hope you're willing to talk tomorrow because if you aren't, then i'll make you"

and with that jeongguk left.

a loud gasp trembled out of taehyung's lips as he slid down the gates, with his knees bent and his face buried within them, he wrapped his arms tightly around his quivering form as he finally cried out.

i'm disgusting

i have the brain of a pig

i'm mentally ill

so fucking disgusting

you're a disease kim taehyung

"stop"

taehyung's sobs halted as he looked up with tearful eyes.

"h-hyung?" yoongi smiled as he stretched out a hand for taehyung.

glancing at the hand and then up at yoongi, taehyung's lips trembled as he immediately took it and stood up with yoongi's help before crashing the shorter male into his embrace.

yoongi stumbled a bit as he hesitantly but quickly wrapped his arms around the crying taehyung, stroking his back.

"it's okay, let it all out"

desperately holding onto yoongi, taehyung let out a deep, guttural cry. in the silence, with the words playing in his head repeatedly, taehyung cried like never. his heart paining him in a way he didn't want to feel ever again but he knew very well that wasn't possible when he was so in love with his homophobic best friend.

after a considerable amount of time had passed, taehyung's trembling began to subside, although he continued to tightly hug yoongi.

just when taehyung thought the storm inside him was settling, yoongi asked a question that completely caught him off guard, leaving him in a state of utter disbelief.

"you like him don't you?"

taehyung slowly unwrapped his arms around yoongi and stepped back, now looking at yoongi with widened swollen eyes and lips slightly parted.

"huh?"

"you like jeongguk, don't you?"

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