✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the beeping sound that echoed through his brain was so loud, so deafening, it made his vision wavered as if the world were trembling into fragmented shapes.

he was crouched in the corner of a dark room, shadows crawling up the walls like ghosts haunting him in his dreams. speaking of dreams- was this a dream too? jeongguk had no idea and he couldn't bring himself to care since it felt all too real anyway. so even if it was a dream, it still made him feel all kinds of ways.

and then suddenly, there was a knock on the door. there always is.

jeongguk got to his feet and made his way toward the door. the darkness around him was so consuming that he feared if he took a step outside his usual path, he'd fall into a never-ending pit.

his hand reached out for the doorknob.

someone tugged on his shirt from behind.

he looked behind, eyes widening when they fell on the person.

taehyung.

his pretty, heart-shaped lips were pressed together, trembling. his big, brown eyes were brimming with tears. jeongguk had turned fully toward taehyung when the male tugged on his arm again, then the male slowly pulled him into a hug. his arms were so tight around him that jeongguk swore he could feel their bodies melting together. dreams are so stupid, aren't they?

stupid because whatever happened next was bullshit. jeongguk knew it was, he believed it was.

the knocks on the door grew louder, heavier and more aggressive. jeongguk tried to pull away from the hug. he knew that in this dream, he had to open the door, or he wouldn't wake up. still, if he was with taehyung, anywhere was fine- even in this dark, soulless room. but jeongguk would much rather wake up and be with the real taehyung than be here.

he couldn't speak in dreams like these but he tried his best to pull back. the knocks were becoming deafening, as if the door might break on its own. yet taehyung wouldn't let him go.

as if to stop him from opening that door.

jeongguk's world was trembling, his feet unsteady on the wooden floor. he tried his best to pull away, but when he struggled too much was when it got worse.

he felt it- a sharp, searing pain piercing through his back. slowly, he turned his head, just enough to see.

taehyung was stabbing him with a knife.

the knocks stopped altogether.

the blade sank deeper and blood spilled out.

inch by inch, as the knife went deeper, the darkness started to consume him.

jeongguk opened his eyes. he always does. but this time, he found himself breathing a little too hard. strange, he thought he had gotten used to these fucked up dreams, dreams that are just dreams and mean no shit- he was almost sure they didn't.

but it was how the dream ended that made him nauseous. why on earth would he even dream about something so fucked up like that? taehyung stabbing him in the back? oh, that was ridiculous. he blinked, once, then twice, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath.

he slowly turned his head to reassure his heart that taehyung was still there.

but what he was met with were the sun's rays hitting his face and the empty space on his bed.

taehyung was gone.

jeongguk sat up so fast he almost felt dizzy, but that wasn't the issue right now. where was taehyung? that was all he could think of. he looked around the spacious room, but taehyung was nowhere. even his phone and wallet, which had been on the bedside table, were gone and his clothes that had been scattered on the floor were missing too.

jeongguk could feel his heart pounding in his chest. he got up and rushed to the bathroom, hoping to find taehyung bathing, brushing his teeth, or even just taking a shit, he didn't care; he just wanted to see him. but again, he was left even more anxious, not finding him there either.

"t-tae? taehyung?" he called out, running out of the room, searching through every corner of the penthouse.

but taehyung was nowhere.

he could hear the sharp stinging sound again as he did in the dream, the deafening silence gnawing at him, making the world around him so blurry and dizzy. he heard his phone buzzing inside the bedroom and jeongguk practically ran like a madman, hopeful it's taehyung this time, his pulse racing as if he were chasing the last thread of sanity in a world that was falling apart.

but to his disappointment and shock, the person who was calling him was his father.

jeongguk's grip on the phone tightened and his eyes widened. his father hadn't called him even once since he arrived in korea- it was always his mother who called.

so why, out of all days, was he calling him today?

it was impossible to put into words how jeongguk actually felt. he was so damn anxious and scared that his brain started to hurt.

"tae... tae... where's my tae..." he was biting down on his thumb's nail, staring down at the phone call. he couldn't pick it up- he wasn't in the mental state to do so. but what if his father had something to do with taehyung's disappearance? what if... he found out? jeongguk gulped hard, feeling his stomach rise to his throat. he could throw up right then and there, the weight of the thought pressing down on him like an anvil.

but then, amidst the loud ringing of his phone, he heard the faint sound of the front door unlocking. jeongguk's body moved on its own again, but this time with quick, heavy steps. instead of running like a madman, he was just so anxious that his body felt jelly.

as he got out of the room, his eyes fell on the back of the man that was closing the front door.

when the person turned around, the phone slipped out of jeongguk's grasp, falling on the floor with a thud.

"gguk?"

taehyung called out, seeing jeongguk just standing there looking at him, with wide reddened eyes, as if he was on the verge of crying. "you okay?" he asked again, taking a step ahead.

but instead of replying, jeongguk rushed to taehyung, almost tripping over his own feet. giving the taken aback man no time to say or do anything as he hugged him hard, hard enough for taehyung to stumble back a few steps, eyes widening at the other's abrupt action.

jeongguk ran his arms all over taehyung's back, neck and back of head, ruffling his neatly styled hair. he took in the scent of his neck while feeling his heartbeat against his own thundering one.

"you're here..." jeongguk croaked out.

taehyung's arms that were awkwardly in the air slowly wrapped around jeongguk too, as he softly spoke to comfort him, "of course, i'm here jeonggukie"

"i thought... you were gone"

"gone for a while for work. but no, i'm not gone or going away the way you mean. no, gguk," taehyung assured, soothing the anxious male's head with gentle strokes.

"really?"

"mhm." taehyung softly smiled, pushing jeongguk back. but when he did, his smile dropped so quickly.

jeongguk had tears in his eyes.

his eyes widened as he cupped the said male's face. "hey, what's wrong? i'm here, ggukie. i'm here, see! don't cry, please?"

"oh no, i... i probably got something in my eye. i'm not crying," jeongguk wiped at his eyes, pretending to get out whatever he had in his eye.

but what jeongguk didn't know was that taehyung could tell he was lying very well. he could easily distinguish when jeongguk was genuinely crying or smiling- it was a trait taehyung had developed over the years, analyzing every little detail about him from observing. and right now, his lie was so transparent, revealed by the way his hand trembled and his eyes that were reddened from holding back the tears.

"oh i got it out. haah... sorry i made you worried" jeongguk awkwardly smiled, blinking to get rid of any more stupid tears that were left.

however, his smile faltered when taehyung looked at him with stern eyes. so he didn't buy it. jeongguk turned his face away, ruffling his bed hair. "you had breakfast yet? i'll make you something-"

taehyung grabbed his hand as he was walking away. jeongguk looked back to see the other stepping closer until they were face to face again and it made him tense on the spot. oh, how could he lie to him when he was so close, when he could smell his musky scent, feel his warm breath, and sense the worry pouring from him? so jeongguk opted to avert his gaze.

"i'm not running away again, jeongguk. not after what we said and did last night. it's time to be honest and i'm going to be only honest with you from here on out. so can you please do the same? instead of hiding your pains and fears, share them with me, will you? come on, i'm your tae. don't you trust me?"

jeongguk returned his gaze to taehyung, nodding like he was desperate to prove he was no different. "i do, i trust you more than i trust myself."

"if you do, then tell me. what made you react like this?"

jeongguk's lips parted. the dream and the phone call he got were on the tip of his tongue, but then he gulped, exhaling the forced air he had been holding in.

a small, forced smile crept up his lips. "i just can't still believe what happened last night. after five years, to see you this close and talk without feeling like i'm going to break down out of guilt... it's kinda new, tae. so maybe when i woke up and didn't see you around, i felt my paranoia taking control. you know how i am..."

jeongguk was anxious that taehyung would ask more questions, be curious about just how deep his paranoia ran to make him go berserk like this. he hoped he didn't- because how many more lies could he feed taehyung?

but then taehyung's eyes softened, "how much were you hurting, gguk?"

were? "a lot. but now i'm fine. i'm happier than ever. actually, as long as i have you, i'm the happiest." and that was the ultimate truth, a truth that covered all the nasty lies underneath.

taehyung softly smiled at that, nodding. "i, too, am the happiest with you, gguk."

how? how can you be happy with me? jeongguk's eyes dimmed but the smile never fell off his face.

"so, where were you again?" he asked instead.

"oh, just to see the manager," taehyung awkwardly smiled, but something about his demeanor felt off, and jeongguk couldn't help but notice.

his eyes narrowed in doubt as he folded his arms over his chest. "that geezer troubling you?"

"that what?" taehyung laughed, shaking his head. "not much. plus, corporate life is tough shit anyway. who would know it better than you, huh?"

"true" jeongguk yawned as he spoke. it was still pretty early in the morning, and the past jeongguk taehyung knew wouldn't be waking up any earlier than twelve. but over the past few days, as his attendant, taehyung had noticed jeongguk waking up early, always dressed in neat suits every time he stepped out of the hotel.

he couldn't help but stare at the present jeongguk, the older jeongguk, the more responsible jeongguk, feeling awfully proud of how far he had come despite all the obstacles and suffering.

soon enough, jeongguk noticed taehyung's amused gaze on him, which made him flustered as he looked around, scratching his neck. "what?"

taehyung took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly while looking at the other affectionately. "you've matured so much, gguk."

"i'm still pretty immature. immature enough to cry when you're not here with me," jeongguk retorted with a shake of his head.

"i like that kind of immaturity. it's so like you."

taehyung was suddenly reminded of the times jeongguk had cried over him- come to think of it, he had never seen jeongguk cry over anything else but him, not that he knew of.

the realization made him feel warm from the inside, a bittersweet ache settling in his chest. a strong man like his jeongguk had been broken because of him, which meant that so many times, he had been the reason this man, the one who was his world, had been in pain to the point of shedding tears. the acknowledgment of that was agonizing.

"so you don't hate it? i mean... it's pretty mentally draining to be around someone who's so overwhelming all the time... isn't it?"

taehyung sighed. "just what do you think about yourself, gguk?" the said male pressed his lips together, quiet now that he had no answer to that. "you're not overwhelming at all. you're the right amount of all the love and hate you carry within, and that's exactly what makes you human."

he is not even a human!

jeongguk scoffed, "really?"

taehyung nodded.

"i've said and done so many terrible things to you in the past, and i'm sure you're scarred from them even now. yet you treat me with so much care. how can you be so kind, tae?"

"not kind. just in love."

"love..." jeongguk repeated, thinking about something. taehyung peered at him in uncertainty before jeongguk looked back at him again. "love," he repeated, this time with a more optimistic reaction.

taehyung knew that was jeongguk's way of saying he was too, in love with him- and that wasn't delusion, not in the way he said the word and not in the way he looked at him.

however, taehyung would surely wait for jeongguk to say those three words back to him someday.

"but honestly, there were times i wanted to punch you. you've pissed me off one too many times," taehyung chuckled, and jeongguk joined along.

"well, you can always punch me whenever you want. after all, i deserve it."

"no, thanks. instead, if you make me makguksu, that'll work."

jeongguk's smile faltered for a second. he breathed out, "makguksu?" taehyung nodded.

the nostalgia of the countless times jeongguk spent in the kitchen, singing and cooking makguksu for taehyung while taehyung swayed his hips to his singing, watching him make the dish past the counter with a cheeky grin, hit him too hard. he could feel his nose burning with tears; taehyung was no different.

"shit," jeongguk looked away when he felt the tears blur his vision.

"yeah, shit," taehyung looked away too, wiping his tears before they could fall.

then they looked back at each other at the same time, laughing. after a while, jeongguk replied, "sure," and they both found themselves laughing even louder than before.

~~~

"somewhere out where the wind was calling, i was on my way to find you~"

like old times, jeongguk sang while boiling the noodles, glancing at taehyung who hummed along, seated on a stool, hand propped over the counter, watching him fondly.

"i was on my way to find you~"

they looked at each other, hitting the note. the smiles stretched on their lips because, just like old times, their voices melted so perfectly together. it felt as though they were back in time- the teenagers taehyung and jeongguk, who didn't care about anything other than each other, who only cared about the delicious makguksu in progress, thinking about what to watch while eating it. it was better that way, they reckoned.

adulting sucked, but being adults who held no freedom for themselves sucked worse. they knew they had to change that about themselves.

the first step to that was perhaps, to relive the old times without a worry in the world. after all, what mattered more than this anyway?

"that's looks so good" taehyung tapped his fingers over the counter, peering at the pot. jeongguk chuckled, wiping his hand with the towel after washing them.

"i hope it tastes as good. it's been a while since i made this, more than five years, i think."

taehyung wore a surprised look, looking up at jeongguk in disbelief. "no way. why? i thought this was your favorite too."

"it was my favorite because i got to make it for you back then. when the reason to make it was gone, there was no point in cooking this- cooking anything at all, actually."

"anything?"

"mhm. i don't get time to cook for myself and never found the need to do so anyway. had a chef back in texas, he cooked daily"

"i thought you enjoyed cooking..." taehyung pointed out, feeling his heart grow heavy as jeongguk chuckled softly and nodded.

"yes, i loved cooking," he looked at taehyung, "but only for you." jeongguk shrugged, turning off the stove when the food was ready. "for me? i can eat anything, as long as i get it over with. never really had much of an appetite anyway."

taehyung's heart sank to his stomach. he stared at jeongguk, devastated. what did he mean by never having the appetite? he watched jeongguk bring out plates to serve them, unaware of the way his eyes glistened.

but... but you love to eat.

taehyung wanted to say, though he didn't. did he really have any right to say that? when he was most likely the reason jeongguk lost his appetite to begin with? curling his hands into fists, he lowered his head, trying to not think much. the past is past, he couldn't undo the wrongs. but he certainly could fix them. and taehyung promised himself that he would.

"food's ready~" jeongguk cooed, "wanna watch something while eating?"

"sure. you pick the show"

they propped themselves on the couch, taehyung hissing a little as he adjusted himself in the seat. jeongguk set down his bowl and gently caressed taehyung's arm, looking at him with concern. "you okay?"

"yeah... just a little sore," taehyung admitted honestly, and jeongguk's cheeks flushed, a grin curling on his lips.

"sorry, was i rough?"

taehyung narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "you don't sound sorry at all."

"no... yes- i mean, you did say you liked it a little rough." jeongguk's grin grew cheekier. oh, this little devil. "but if it hurts too much, we can see a doctor..."

"no, i'm fine." taehyung turned flustered, taking a bite of his noodles, puffing his cheeks as he chewed. his eyes stayed focused on the screen, purposely ignoring the male who was grinning ear to ear while watching him.

soon after, jeongguk was again talking, "if it doesn't hurt too much, can we do it again after eating?"

taehyung choked on his food, coughing and saying out loud, "do what?!"

"fuck?" jeongguk tilted his head, those seemingly innocent eyes contradicting the words he'd just spoken. taehyung pressed himself further against the couch, still chewing, though his cheeks now flushed a deep red.

"i mean, can't we?"

"no!" taehyung swallowed his food, pointing his finger at jeongguk, "who asks for sex over food like this anyway?!"

"sorry" jeongguk bowed his head, sulking. he took his bowl on his lap and turned to watch the tv. taehyung glared at him some more before turning to the front as well.

the taste of the makguksu brought taehyung back in time and he wanted to compliment jeongguk for it but he let the silence stretch out for now. he could see the male sulking from his peripheral vision and that somehow made him smile. sometimes he didn't really understand if jeongguk was blunt or just shameless- maybe both of them.

as they neared the end of their meal, taehyung licked the sauce off his lower lip and cleared his throat to grab jeongguk's attention. the said male looked at him hesitantly, noticing the soft smile playing on those heart shaped lips as he spoke. "we can do it again... just not now. yeah?"

"sure... whenever you want, tae." jeongguk nodded earnestly, his tone serious enough to make taehyung chuckle.

"you make it sound like it was me who asked for it."

"uh, i... so you don't want it? if you don't, then that's fine, we don't ever have to do it again-"

"oh god, gguk," taehyung laughed louder, cutting him off before he could spiral further. jeongguk's ears turned a shade of red, and he fidgeted under taehyung's amused gaze, feeling impossibly flustered as the sound of his laughter filled the room.

"that's not it. i loved the sex, it was crazy good, really" taehyung should feel shy or embarrassed talking about this but seeing how jeongguk's eyes twinkled hearing him, he couldn't help the fluttering of his heart. "but right now i'm very sore. it will take time to heal, you get what i'm saying?"

"oh... uhm yeah" jeongguk scratched his ear, his gaze flickering to taehyung. his eyes wandered subtly, tracing over his figure as if trying to recall every detail he had seen and touched the night before.

it was unintentional, but the memory of last night seemed to linger vividly in his mind, making his throat feel dry as he quickly looked away. "i loved the sex too... it's all i can think of right now actually"

"you really are shameless, jeongguk"

"right. sorry" the said male chuckled, continuing eating. taehyung sneered, following suit.

he twirled the noodles around his chopsticks, letting out a soft sigh. if only taehyung knew. it wasn't just about the sex- not entirely, at least.

yes, it was significant; they had slept together and that was monumental in itself. but that wasn't what dominated his thoughts. what truly echoed in his mind were the three words taehyung had said last night. those words had been the highlight, the only thing he couldn't stop thinking about, no matter how hard he tried.

i love you gguk.

oh it sounded so beautiful to hear. he said he wanted to do it again with taehyung and that had been true too. but more than that, he wanted taehyung to say those three words again.

but how could jeongguk dare to ask for that?

when he himself hasn't said it back?

he thought it wouldn't be fair to taehyung. if he says it on his own, then that'd be a blessing. but he won't ask for him to say it again, not until he says it back at least.

jeongguk hoped he would soon. he really did.

"oh, by the way, you should stop spending those extra five grands every day for my service," taehyung said as he stood up, carrying their empty bowls to the sink. he considered washing them but figured room service would handle it soon enough.

"i don't know why you're doing that anyway, but you should stop. i'm here now, aren't i?" taehyung added, returning to stand before jeongguk.

jeongguk blinked up at him, his expression unreadable. "but you'll be leaving soon, won't you?"

"well... i do have to work-"

"i can make it so you don't have to, by continuing this service," jeongguk interrupted with a faint smile, taking taehyung's hands in his and gently caressing them. he looked up at him again, his voice low, "unless... you don't want to be with me."

"that's not it, gguk. do you even know how much you're spending for what? just my presence? i'll be here whenever you want, you don't have to pay shit for that"

"you said you have work so how can you come to me whenever you want?" jeongguk sulked, his eyes twinkling with sadness that did things to taehyung's heart. oh the things this man was doing just to be with him. many might see it negatively but how could taehyung? when he knows what he means to jeongguk?

"i'll sneak in" he whispered playfully like even the walls have ears. "wouldn't that be more fun anyway?"

jeongguk chuckled, nodding. "okay, baby. whatever you say"

taehyung stared down at him, his smile faltering as his eyes fell on jeongguk's lips. licking his own, he then shifted his gaze back into his bambi eyes, seeing him look at him with the same kind of hunger, hunger to kiss. taehyung placed his hands on either side of jeongguk's head and slowly, he bent forward, their foreheads brushing together in a brief, intimate pause. and then, with one more tilt, he closed the distance, pressing his lips softly against jeongguk's.

jeongguk sucked in a breath, his hands making their way to cup taehyung's face as they softly pecked each other's lips. licking at the seam of taehyung's lower lip, he pushed his tongue into his mouth. from the warm invasion, taehyung slowly bent his knees on either sides of jeongguk's body before slowly getting on his lap.

having the male so close, jeongguk draped his arms over taehyung's ass, caressing it like he was soothing the pain taehyung felt. they kissed good, really good. tasting the makguksu along the hotness of each other's tongues. shit, kissing feels so good that they both were confident they could go all day long doing only this.

however, their makeout session ended rather quickly when the doorbell rang. taehyung pulled away abruptly, the pop of their lips echoing in jeongguk's ear. he looked up at taehyung with half-lidded eyes, licking his lips as he tasted the remnants of their kiss. but taehyung paid him no mind, standing up and slipping off jeongguk's lap.

"probably room service, tae. don't fret it," he murmured, still dazed.

"yeah, well, i have to get back to work anyway," taehyung replied casually, "and so should you, jeon."

jeongguk groaned in response, slumping back into the couch. "ughh."

taehyung chuckled, shaking his head as he adjusted his dress shirt. "i'll get the door on my way," he said, grabbing his blazer and heading toward the entrance.

"don't go" jeongguk mumbled while pouting. but taehyung was right, they both needed to get back to work. so he stood up as well, following taehyung to show him out, you know a way to look at his face some more.

however, when taehyung opened the door, he and jeongguk both froze.

"see, i told you he was still here," hoseok grinned.

"damn alright, what did i expect anyway" jimin replied, staring at the two males.

"you guys... hey," taehyung smiled awkwardly, glancing at the group of people crowded in front of the door.

his friends- yoongi, jimin, seokjin- were there, but so were namjoon, hoseok, and even fiona.

"way to ruin someone's morning," jeongguk muttered, folding his arms over his chest and shooting them a bored look.

"yeah, good morning to you too," yoongi said, stepping in first and patting jeongguk's shoulder as he passed.

"woah, who said you could come in-" jeongguk started, but was cut off as namjoon and hoseok followed behind, walking right past him.

"motherfucker, at least welcome us, yeah?" they said together.

"dude, what-" jeongguk watched as jimin entered next, flashing him a sweet smile. "missed seeing your punchable face, hulk."

as jimin walked in, he grabbed taehyung by the back of his shirt collar, dragging him inside too. "hey! i need to work!" taehyung protested.

"shut up," jimin replied, not even glancing back as he pulled taehyung further in.

jeongguk stared, his mouth agape at the scene unfolding before him. then his eyes landed on fiona, who rolled her eyes at him, walking inside all sassy without saying even a word.

great, she hadn't forgotten about him yelling at her earlier.

jeongguk facepalmed himself while closing the door.

╸╸╸

the living room was very spacious, like very. but now it seemed to feel quite small because of all the people that gathered here. jeongguk was the last to walk in, scanning around to see if he had a seat to sit but no, everyone had made themselves quite comfortable on the three couches available.

yoongi, jimin, and taehyung sat in one. jimin was saying something to taehyung that jeongguk was curious to hear but couldn't because of the bickering trio on the other couch; hoseok, seokjin, and fiona, looking around and probably talking about the penthouse's interior design. namjoon, meanwhile, was absorbed in his phone, sitting alone on the single-seater couch.

"so you all friends now or what?" jeongguk asked, getting all of their attention at once. the space fell silent quite fast as everyone snapped their faces at him.

"we might be, but you'd be excluded, asshole," jimin was the first to retort.

"midget still has a big mouth on him, huh?"

"don't start this now," taehyung sighed, squeezing jimin's hand in his. jimin glared at jeongguk before rolling his eyes somewhere else.

"where did you all spawn from anyway?" jeongguk grimaced, aside from taehyung, he didn't like anyone's presence there. his face pretty much said it but as everyone was used to his bluntless, they didn't bother with it.

"we crashed here last night. couldn't leave without knowing how it all worked out" namjoon answered.

"yeah man, you got us all pretty scared," hoseok added.

"in what way? i'm good, tae is good too. we are good." jeongguk replied nonchalantly like he and taehyung didn't have a big night yesterday. well, they don't need to know any details.

"so you guys patched up?" seokjin asked this time. jeongguk turned his head at the older, tilting his head in confusion, not able to recognize him. "did you make my baby cry?" he asked further and jeongguk's eyes widened in annoyance.

"excuse me, who the hell are you to call my tae, baby?" jeongguk knitted his eyebrows together.

"because that's my baby" seokjin retorted nonchalantly, crossing his legs and sitting elegantly while winking at taehyung who gave out his boxy smile. seeing the exchange of such flirting, jeongguk only felt his blood boil.

"no the fuck? he's only my baby" he seethed in pure jealousy.

the place fell in complete silence. jeongguk slowly looked around the room, everyone was looking at him with surprised faces while taehyung met his eyes with shock, soon enough covering his face, shaking his head.

"what?" jeongguk scowled.

"your baby, oh" namjoon tried to not smile.

"ooohhh~" everyone cooed out.

taehyung flushed redder, hiding his face in his hands. jeongguk realized what he just said and what it could imply.

"i- you all, get out" jeongguk pointed at the door but no one took him seriously. only saying "ooohh~ baby~"

jimin was grinning hard while elbowing taehyung playfully who kept shaking his head, "baby huh?"

"he says stuff like that all the time, jimin stop teasing!" taehyung tried to defend.

"아기 (agi)? doesn't that mean baby?" fiona said, using the korean word for baby to confirm, and hoseok nodded.

"see! i told you guys they were dating!" fiona exclaimed, looking at the flustered two males.

"we are not!" jeongguk and taehyung both said out loud.

the space again fell in silence. taehyung and jeongguk looked at each other, nodding ever so slightly. so they were on the same page.

it was better if none of their friends knew what was going on between them, not yet at least. it had only been one night since they had expressed their feelings, so announcing something as big as 'dating' would be too bold, a declaration they thought they weren't ready for yet.

honestly, taehyung had no problem with it, but he understood that for jeongguk, it was a bigger deal. he wasn't going to mess this up again. as for jeongguk, his reasoning was the same; he didn't want to put taehyung in an awkward position just yet. but if it were up to him, he'd have no problem making it clear. in fact, he liked the idea of everyone knowing taehyung belonged to him. but for taehyung, he held back.

"we are not dating," taehyung repeated, looking around at everyone with a serious expression. "jeongguk and i... we are friends. respect that boundary, please."

"okay," yoongi finally spoke up, drawing everyone's attention. "friends, lovers, whatever you two are shouldn't be our business anyway."

"yeah, we might've gone a little overboard with the teasing. sorry," namjoon added.

"okay, fine. play this game of denial all you want," jimin surrendered, slouching against the couch.

"and by the way, tae is my baby," seokjin said, glaring at jeongguk, who narrowed his eyes in response. seokjin quickly corrected himself, "my baby brother. don't bite me now, boy."

jeongguk visibly relaxed. scanning over the room to again meet taehyung's eyes. for some reason, he found it as though taehyung looked dejected or were his eyes playing games with him?

"but just that night they were on a dinner da-" fiona started but trailed off when jeongguk glared at her, stepping closer.

"we have a lot of work pending, fiona. get your ass back to work," jeongguk said with a dangerous smile, and the girl only rolled her eyes.

"i'm not getting back to work until you apologize."

"damn, what did he do?" seokjin and hoseok asked, the girl sitting between them sulked, pointing at her boss.

"he yelled at me"

"not good, man," namjoon shook his head in disappointment, and everyone followed suit, the sounds of dejection filling the space.

jeongguk looked at taehyung and damn, even he was shaking his head in disapproval. so the 'not you too tae?!' imprinted on his face involuntarily.

"jerk abusing his power to yell at a poor girl, yeah, not surprising at all," jimin sighed to piss jeongguk off before looking at fiona and smiling apologetically. "you're strong, fiona. working for him must be decreasing your lifespan."

"excuse me-"

fiona sighed dramatically, "the things capitalism does to you."

"fuck capitalism," yoongi added with a yawn out of nowhere, returning to be half asleep on the couch.

"what the-"

"is the pay good at least?" seokjin asked with a sympathetic tone.

fiona sighed, "well a raise would be nice-"

"oh my god, shut the fuck up" jeongguk shouted and everyone went silent instantly.

he looked at his sulking secretary, "i'm not apologizing but i'll give you two days off. is that enough?"

"three" fiona showed with her fingers.

jeongguk sighed, nodding. he knew how stubborn fiona could get, she probably learned that trait from him in the first place.

"you're the best boss!" fiona bowed her head, making everyone else laugh in amusement. she was learning korean culture rather well.

"so, are you guys leaving now or got anything else to bully me for?" jeongguk said tiredly.

"actually, there is one more thing-" jimin started.

"yeah, i ain't hearing shit anymore, bye," jeongguk put his fingers in his ears, walking away to get in the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

"bastard!" jimin looked at taehyung, "dump his ass, tae."

"we aren't dating, jiminie!"

╸╸╸

thankfully enough, everyone left soon after chatting a bit more with taehyung. jeongguk, in the meantime, showered and got ready for the office. by the time he got out of his room, everyone was gone. including taehyung. the living room felt empty and quiet. he made his way to the ground floor and looked around but he didn't see taehyung. he could have gone to his office room to find him, but it was better to not disturb the male any further. he had to be at the office anyway.

reaching, he was met with a smiling fiona on the way. must be nice to get off days, he thought. he'd make sure this wouldn't happen again, though. after reaching his room, he went through some work and then attended a meeting. jeongguk did anything and everything to delay what was bothering him all morning.

but by the afternoon, he was pretty free. sighing, he took out his phone, contemplating whether he even needed to call back that man. but jeongguk was curious, always on edge when it came to his father. the man who hadn't called him once during his entire time in korea- why suddenly now? it was a mystery he had to resolve as soon as he could.

taking a deep breath, he dialed the number and paced back and forth in front of the large ceiling-to-floor window, the other hand stuffed in his pants pocket. the ringing went on for a while, and just when he thought he was saved from hearing that voice, his father picked up the call.

"finally got time to call back your old man?"

jeongguk surpassed the urge to roll his eyes.

"why did you call?"

"i'd appreciate you asking about my health first"

"don't want to, father" jeongguk scoffed and the other line got quiet for a few seconds.

"i'd watch my mouth if i were you, son. who do you think you're speaking to?"

and even though there were harsher ways he could have replied back to that statement, he didn't. jeongguk knew even if he had the whole world in his grasp, his father still somehow held the upper hand, in some twisted ways.

"why did you call?" jeongguk asked again.

"just wanted to ask personally how far the deal has gone with the hwangs."

"almost everything has been finalized. progress is good."

"that's great. i might return to the office by next week. if you want, you can go back to texas. i'll handle the rest." hearing his father's words, jeongguk tightened his grip on the phone, feeling a sense of alertness wash over him.

what was he supposed to do? say that he had no plans of going back to texas now that he found the reason to stay, or just lie?

"i'll handle this deal all by myself till the end, so i'd appreciate it if you don't interfere, father."

"hmm... okay? if you want to. i'll get some more rest then." the old man laughed, and jeongguk wanted nothing more than to cut the call. his father's satisfaction with him being nothing but a puppet was a nasty feeling he has forced himself to get used to. neither he nor his father ever bothered to ask how the other was doing, as if they were business partners and not father and son. how sad.

just when he was about to hang up, his father was speaking again. this time asking something that caught him off guard.

"where are you staying, jeongguk?"

"why do you want to know?" his tone got a little too defensive. jeongguk really needed to do something about his emotions that get triggered whenever he's in contact with his father.

the older jeon chuckled, "because i want to visit you?"

jeongguk's heart started to slow down. he licked his lips, speaking carefully, "you can see me at the office"

"i can, but i want to see where my son is staying. it's been four years since i last saw you. you could have stayed with us, but you aren't. why?"

"isn't that obvious, father?" jeongguk gritted out, his jaw clenching in sheer anger. this act of his father, pretending to be the pure soul who had done nothing but good for his son, made him sick. how could a person be this heartless?

"don't make me the bad guy now, jeongguk. because if i start being the real bad guy, you wouldn't quite like it."

"i think this concludes our conversation. take care, father." the last sentence dripped with sarcasm, and he knew the old man understood it too. jeongguk hung up the phone before the man could reply, tossing it on the table as he let out a scream of frustration.

the urge to return to taehyung, to hide in his arms and forget about the real world, was overwhelming. but jeongguk held back. he had allowed enough vulnerability to show. now, he would be strong- not just for himself, but for taehyung too.

╸╸╸

taehyung didn't expect things to be so peaceful. he expected his angry manager lashing out or doing something to make him uncomfortable for two reasons- rejecting his gift and behaving rudely, the second for not being present to monitor the party. he was sure he was about to hear a handful and be interrogated in the worst way possible, but nothing of the sort happened.

the manager barely talked to him, which was surprising. usually, the middle-aged man was all in his personal space, touching and talking unnecessarily. although that might be a good sign, the oddness of his behavior still left him perplexed.

he was working on his laptop in his office room when there was a knock on the door. "come in" he said, fixing his glasses.

"hey, hyung" taehyung peered up from his screen to see heejae. he smiled at the younger, "heejae, hey."

the boy sat down on the chair in front of the table with his usual smile, he usually comes by often to annoy the older so taehyung didn't pay much attention. however, heejae was here not for the usual routine of annoying taehyung. he tapped his fingers on the surface nervously, a subtle tick that felt like an undercurrent of unease, which caught the other's attention again. taehyung lowered his laptop a little to look at the boy, sensing something was off.

"you good?"

"i'm good." heejae contemplated for a second, "are you though?"

"yeah i'm good?" taehyung tilted his head. heejae looked really nervous, he has barely seen the boy like this, unless those times he would mess up something. "do you have something to say to me?"

"well..." heejae pressed his lips together for a second, nodding. "manager-nim was asking about you yesterday"

taehyung closed the laptop completely. he knew something was wrong. the way the manager looked at him but did not ask anything, it was awfully suspicious.

"was he?"

"yeah, when your friend, dami and i came down. he was looking furious..."

taehyung nodded. of course he'd be furious, he pissed off the man a bit too much but he wasn't regretting doing that. there was a boundary to everything, that mr woo didn't own him just because he worked here.

"so did you tell him i was in the penthouse-"

"no, no i didn't" heejae shook his head immediately and taehyung felt himself tensing up less. "i told him you went home because you weren't feeling well"

"and he believed that?"

"he did, surprisingly. he was even looking somewhat suspicious if i have to be honest." taehyung scoffed. it was good, the manager probably thought he went home because of the way he behaved with him earlier.

"he's a suspicious man altogether, now isn't he?" taehyung joked, causing heejae to chuckle.

"anyways, thank you, heejae, for backing me up. you really saved your hyung right there," taehyung said, flashing his signature boxy smile at the younger, who immediately flushed and waved his hand in front of his face.

"o-oh, you don't have to thank me. i'm glad i could be of any help," heejae said, licking his lips before pausing for a moment to look at taehyung. "uh, don't want to intrude or anything, but what were you doing there?"

"where? the penthouse?" heejae nodded. taehyung awkwardly chuckled, glancing around as he thought for a second.

"well, you know jeon jeongguk? the one living in the penthouse? he's my friend."

"friend?" taehyung didn't know why he was suddenly flustered. even just mentioning jeongguk made his heart skip a beat. oh man, he was really down bad.

he nodded shyly. heejae made a 'o' with his mouth, nodding.

"a get together with your friend huh?"

get together... taehyung suddenly had flashbacks of all the things they did last night. he had to avert his gaze to compose himself. his face was getting red and heart was starting to race just from thinking about it.

god, he missed jeongguk already.

heejae watched the man getting shy with confusion before taehyung composed himself again, opening his laptop. "yeah, get together... anyways, thanks again, heejae! i'll treat you to some lunch tomorrow. if you don't mind, i've to finish this work, so let's talk later?"

"uhm sure, hyung... bye then" heejae took his time in seeing how taehyung was smiling to himself, attention back on the screen before he left the room.

there was one burden off taehyung's shoulders. now he won't have to be wary around the manager to come up with a lie as heejae has already handled it. but in the future they need to be careful, very careful.

the rest of the day was spent in a blur with taehyung constantly having an existential crisis over whether he should call jeongguk or not. he ended up not doing so. for some reason, he felt very nervous to even reach out for the male, despite the lack of awkwardness between them in the morning, he was just now feeling conscious.

he'd say they acted pretty civilized despite having done that last night. perhaps, the sight of jeongguk being a panicked mess and his friends' intrusion made him forget about it for a while. but staying alone with himself in the silence of the four walls of his office, taehyung knew he felt hot and flustered as hell just thinking about what they did.

it was a crazy night and he couldn't help but look forward to more of them.

"ah get a grip, kim taehyung" taehyung slapped himself on his face, trying to get out of the thoughts of last night as he swirled in his chair, feeling like he'd become a teenager again. could he be really blamed though, this was about jeongguk- jeon jeongguk. it was insane to even think he finally confessed to the one he has been in love with for so long.

and then suddenly, his phone started to ring. taehyung swore he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw who was calling him. the one he was thinking about the whole day.

jeongguk.

why was he calling? it was still around six and taehyung was sure from his observation that jeongguk didn't get off work any sooner than eleven. he picked up the call, speaking, "hello?"

"hey" jeongguk's voice somehow made taehyung tense. god, what has happened to him. he was totally fine this morning.

"w-what's up?" taehyung wanted to smack himself for stuttering. why was he sounding like a nervous teenager talking to his crush for the first time? he just hoped jeongguk wouldn't feel his nervousness through the line but again, that man knew him and his body language all too well that from his mere voice, perhaps he could feel the tension oozing.

jeongguk took a breathy exhale out, speaking softly, "nothing. just missing you baby"

taehyung clenched his fists, his eyelashes fluttering. fuck. why was he getting so worked up over a "baby"? he gulped, making sure the male wouldn't hear even his heavy breathing.

"shit, i miss you so much," jeongguk grunted, sounding angry that he missed taehyung this much. angry for a reason, too-after finally expressing their true feelings for each other, they should be together, not an inch apart. but how dare jeongguk leave taehyung after such a good night they had? he was angry at himself for it.

taehyung licked his lips, gulping yet again. his heart racing as he spoke, "i miss you too, gguk"

"fuck" he could hear jeongguk curse and it made him nervous all the further. "you do? you miss me too, tae?"

"mhm" he could only hum.

"why you sound so sexy? or am i just crazy?" he spoke with a chuckle, a chuckle that was low and rough. for some reason, jeongguk started to sound even more angry.

now who would tell taehyung that jeongguk was indeed angry- angry that taehyung wasn't sitting on his lap right now, kissing the very breath out of him. jeongguk missed taehyung more than he could bear and talking with his father on such a nice day had ruined his mood all the more. it was his fault, he'd say- he should have never bothered calling his father back when he should've been with taehyung instead, all up in his personal space.

because that's his taehyung, and he needed to consume every part of him right now or he'd just keep losing his mind.

taehyung chuckled sweetly, and jeongguk could only grip the phone tighter, spinning his chair to face the glass window and gaze out at the evening skyline of seoul. the view was pretty, but jeongguk would bet on his life that the sight of taehyung laughing was far, far better.

"i think you're just crazy" taehyung said in between his giggles.

"tae?"

"yeah?"

"are you still sore?"

taehyung choked on his saliva. he gripped the edge of the table for support because despite sitting, he felt as though he would fall. his body felt so incredibly hot for absolutely no reason. jeongguk asked just a simple question but fuck, that tone he used, low and raspy like he meant something with it.

however, he found himself unable to answer right away. he was still sore, very much so that he had to stand every other minute because sitting was a little bothersome, it wasn't hurting anymore but he couldn't say he had fully recovered from the wreck jeongguk made him last night.

"don't worry, i mean nothing with it. just... asking if you're okay" jeongguk spoke again to clarify and god, taehyung felt like a pervert for thinking weirdly. what has gotten to him suddenly he had no idea. had he always been this desperate for jeongguk? the answer was very much so, obsessively even. he was just good at hiding it, even from himself.

"uhm yeah, i'm okay..."

"good"

it got a little quiet for a few seconds after that before jeongguk was speaking again.

"are you busy?"

"not really, my shift is about to end soon"

"sweet." taehyung could hear the optimism in the other's tone. "i'll be there in thirty minutes to pick you up. we are going out"

"we are?" taehyung felt a smile curl his lips. "where?"

"you'll see, baby" jeongguk chuckled, speaking in a whisper. "see you then"

"see you..." taehyung hung up the call and stared at the phone screen with a giddy smile before swirling himself in the chair out of excitement. oh he better fix his appearance before the other arrives.

~~

everyone could practically see taehyung radiating with happiness, not that he ever shows his gloomy side. he always wore a smile when working, whether it was real or fake. but right now, it was the truest smile he had ever worn- only jeongguk could make him this happy, and that was the truth.

bidding his coworkers goodbye, taehyung made his way to the parking lot exactly thirty minutes later. he didn't want to make jeongguk wait- he was one impatient guy, after all. as he approached, he spotted the familiar car parked, and just as he did, jeongguk got out. a smile slowly curled on his previously blank face upon seeing taehyung walking toward him. he had just arrived and was about to get inside to find taehyung, if he hadn't arrived yet. it seemed both of them were just that eager to see each other.

"you look good" jeongguk commented. taehyung smiled shyly, shrugging.

"i'm in my office clothes though"

"y-yeah but well- s-still..." jeongguk stuttered, trailing off while looking around.

if anyone else who knew jeongguk besides taehyung saw him now, they'd have their jaws on the floor. the man who never bothered smiling, who always carried himself with such cold indifference, was now blushing and acting nervous- like a teenager going on his first date. but perhaps that's exactly what this was. it was going to be his first date with taehyung, but this time, it was as something more than just friends.

taehyung chuckled, patting jeongguk's arm, "you look good too"

after that, jeongguk opened the door to the passenger seat for taehyung, who slid in with a smile. jeongguk then got in himself, starting the car and driving off.

however, what they didn't notice were the eyes that watched them from a distance, lurking in the shadows.

taehyung turned on some music in the car, his gaze drifting out the window as he watched the seoul streets pass by. after a moment, he asked absentmindedly, "so, where are we going?"

"can i be honest?" taehyung turned his head to jeongguk who had his gaze fixed on the road before he started laughing while shaking his head, "i have no idea myself"

"what?" taehyung laughed along, not the least bit surprised. for some reason, this was just so like jeongguk- impulsive and unpredictable. moreover, if he'd planned for them to go out today, he would have mentioned it in the morning without a doubt so it was definitely out of a whim.

"i... just wanted to spend time with you," jeongguk said, glancing at taehyung for a split second. "but i do have some plans in mind, if you're up to it."

"sure," taehyung replied with a smile. he noticed the tips of jeongguk's ears turning red and the toothy grin spreading across his lips. in so many ways, jeongguk was like him. because taehyung, too, wanted to spend time with jeongguk- away from everyone else, just the two of them.

it turned out that jeongguk wanted to go bowling with him. taehyung was all for it, though he wasn't sure if he was still as good as he used to be. he remembered how they used to compete with each other in bowling or gaming, spending all their pocket money on it back in the days. they were both so intensely competitive that playing just one or two rounds was never enough- pride was always on the line and neither of them ever wanted to back down.

"you first," jeongguk said, handing the bowling ball to taehyung with a cocky grin, the kind that screamed confidence- as if he was magnanimously offering him a warm-up round.

taehyung smirked, taking the ball. he breathed in and out, steadying himself as he slipped into the best position he could recall from back then. With a calculated flick of his wrist, he threw the ball, his eyes glued to it as it rolled down the lane with practiced precision, crashing into almost all the pins.

just one was left standing. taehyung rolled his eyes, jeongguk clapped for him. "good start. watch out though," the male smirked, the challenge in his voice unmistakable. it was his turn. he threw the ball with uncanny precision, the kind of effortless grace that suggested jeongguk might have been practicing in secret (which he actually hadn't), the ball hitting all the pins in a perfect strike.

"oh hell yeah!" jeongguk spun on his heel, his smile wide and proud, throwing a cheeky glance at taehyung. taehyung rolled his eyes playfully, clapping half-heartedly. "aw babe, don't sulk. you did great," jeongguk taunted, and just like that, the familiar fire from old times was back in taehyung's energy, he had to compete.

and so, this time, taehyung also made a perfect strike, smiling similarly to jeongguk. he teased, "i'm better, jeon"

"yeah? i don't think so" he took the next ball.

and they both knew, they'd be at it longer than intended.

but maybe the older taehyung and jeongguk were more sensible than their younger selves. they decided to call it quits after three more rounds, both landing perfect or nearly perfect scores.

as they stepped outside and strolled through the busy seoul streets, the smell of tteokbokki caught their attention, making them stop in their tracks. they headed to the stall, ordering the food.

as jeongguk took the first bite, he sighed in content. "damn, it's been a while since i had these," he said, looking at taehyung with a big smile. taehyung watched his bambi eyes sparkle under the streetlights, that content smile on his lips.

it was crazy how his own heart warmed just from seeing jeongguk happy. it was a sight no amount of money or power could buy. but street tteokbokki after bowling with him? that could. it was nice to know that.

after they finished their light snack, they tried out more street foods, strolling lazily through the streets. the streets were familiar, taehyung had walked through them countless times with jeongguk in the past.

from when they were little kids to teenagers to adults, all the way until five years ago. hand in hand, eating and walking along the bright night streets of seoul. back then, they had the same wide smiles on their faces, and the present them- they were no different. but their feelings? those had changed.

back then, they were best friends, friends who knew nothing but each other. and now? well, come to think of it, had much really changed? taehyung thought it hadn't. they still walked hand in hand, eating and strolling through the bright night streets of seoul. but maybe the difference this time was that they were something more than friends.

nothing much had changed. not jeongguk's warm hand intertwined with his, nor the way he ate the street food with an angry face that only showed how much he liked it, nor the way he fed taehyung with the brightest smile on his face. the nostalgia mixed with a sense of déjà vu, warming taehyung's heart. this was everything to him.

"wanna go shopping?" jeongguk asked, turning his head and wiggling his eyebrows. god, this man didn't look like he was anywhere near his 30s.

"i was waiting for you to ask," taehyung replied, winking at him. and maybe so didn't he.

the shopping trip turned into a 'doll up kim taehyung' session, as jeongguk made taehyung try on different shirts, suits, blazers, tops, pants, shoes- you name it. anything taehyung liked, or that jeongguk liked on him, he bought it. if taehyung knew jeongguk was planning to be his sugar daddy, he would've refused the whole shopping idea, but guess he'd just let the man be.

because damn, taehyung did love dressing up. but also because, one time back in the first year of middle school, taehyung had been staring at a fancy shirt in a shop window. jeongguk had asked if he liked it, and taehyung just nodded, dazed, unable to tear his gaze away.

at that time, jeongguk wanted nothing more than to give that shirt to his taehyung. but teen jeongguk didn't have the money for it. so he had to just silently watch his taehyung walk away from the shop, still glancing back at the shirt.

and guess what happened after that? on taehyung's birthday, jeongguk gifted him a shirt similar to the one he had seen at the shop, apologizing for not getting the exact one, grumbling about how it had been months and the shirt was sold out. but who cared if the shirts were the same or not? what taehyung cared about was discovering that jeongguk had saved his pocket money to buy him the shirt, making him cry for a solid ten minutes, hugging his best friend while tears streamed down his face.

in fact, there had been many times when jeongguk bought various things for taehyung. taehyung didn't know if it was some sort of fixation or just a habit but jeongguk loved buying things for him. so, he let him this time, too.

"look at this," taehyung said, holding up a beautiful white t-shirt with blue trim on the neckline and sleeve edges. a blue heart outline with the word 'sweetheart' in the middle. he showed it to jeongguk, who nodded in approval.

"sweetheart shirt... hmm," jeongguk mused, taking it in his hand and inspecting it. he looked at taehyung with a mischievous smirk. "wanna buy two of them?"

"you wanna match?" taehyung couldn't help smiling shyly when jeongguk nodded. "alright~"

and with that they concluded their shopping because beside the matching sweetheart shirts, jeongguk didn't really want anything. it was basically a shopping spree only for taehyung, jeongguk still carried the bags though. yeah, the princess treatment was going stronger than ever.

they watched a movie after that, their fingers tangled up the whole time. people didn't notice, nor did they care, which tempted jeongguk to kiss taehyung on the mouth. but when taehyung shot him a glare, jeongguk pouted and refocused on the movie. he'd wipe that pout off jeongguk's face later on, when it's just the two of them, for sure.

after the movie, they ate dinner. the night deepened, but neither of them was ready to let go of the other yet. but did they really have a reason to anymore? no, they didn't. absolutely not.

as they got inside the car, taehyung stretched his arms lazily, "we should go home"

"not yet, tae" jeongguk grabbed taehyung's hand, stroking it. he looked into the said male's eyes with sadness, like he was saying a goodbye or something. "don't want you to leave"

"who says i'm leaving? we are going home"

"we?"

"my place, yeah?" taehyung tilted his head with an assuring smile, and the sadness melted away as jeongguk smiled back enthusiastically.

"your place, oh i'm excited to see"

it didn't feel right to not let jeongguk know about this.

but what could anyone do in a situation like this?

fiona wished she left for her three days leave today itself so she wouldn't have to do this right now.

"show me the way" the much more serious and older voice speaking in perfect english just like jeongguk was unusual and intimidating to hear for her. she parked the car, opening the door for the person.

her head lowered the entire time. something about even meeting those eyes she found scary was nerve wracking.

"i said show me the way, girl" fiona flinched ever so slightly, nodding as she started walking.

they made their way in front of the grand entrance of the hotel "oasis"

fiona heard the man chuckle, the older jeon was chuckling and shit, she just knew her boss was in some deep trouble.

"so this is where my dear son's staying."

━━━━━━━