✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"how do you feel tae? how do you feel now that i'm someone else's?"

at first, taehyung couldn't believe jeongguk said that.

just what was going in his head when he spoke those words? did he even know what could those words imply? that too in front of his freaking girlfriend?

taehyung tensed but he didn't dare look away from jeongguk, something about those eyes staring so intensely into his own made him paralyzed on the spot. those eyes demanded a strong and truthful answer but here's a thing, taehyung didn't have one. he didn't want to admit what he felt when he saw jeongguk with a girl, didn't want to admit the ugly feeling that was gnawing at him when he saw them hug and then kiss- so intimately.

taehyung felt like shit, but he didn't want to admit it. so answering that question was far off the hook.

time passed and mira looked between the two tall guys, an awkward smile on her face. it looked like none were gonna spoke so she tried to ease the situation.

"aw jeongguk, don't say it like that! of course taehyung is upset his best friend is gonna prioritize someone else now hmm?"

it was clear mira was joking to ease the tension but hearing her made it even worse for taehyung. upset? no, why would taehyung be upset now that he wasn't his best friend, his crush's first priority? pfft, that's hilarious and so not true.

jeongguk didn't pay attention to mira and just stared at taehyung who now looked at mira and let out a forced chuckle, he wasn't even sure if it looked even half genuine and if he ended up looking like he didn't like the joke.

"i actually have a class in five minutes. sorry i gotta go" taehyung pointed behind him, pretending to be in a hurry.

"oh of course, see you later taehyung!" mira smiled so sweetly, like they were now friends and she was looking forward to seeing taehyung often. if she was then taehyung was sorry for her because he'd like anything but to see her again.

mira might like him but taehyung didn't. even though she seemed so sweet and didn't even know what she had done. it wasn't her fault and that made it uglier for taehyung. because how could he hate a girl who had done nothing but perhaps love jeongguk? his jeongguk.

they watched taehyung leave and jeongguk's jaw clenched. he rolled his eyes to somewhere else and sighed, something in him burning for absolutely no reason. it had been two years since he last saw his best friend- someone he spent almost all his life with. it was the longest time he was away from taehyung and it was killing him inside to see just a glimpse of the male.

the military service turned out to be much less challenging than he had anticipated. he not only managed to succeed in almost every aspect but also take time into building up his body and mind. but in these two years, there was not a single day he hadn't thought of taehyung.

in fact day and night, all he ever thought about was his best friend.

his heart yearning for a glimpse of taehyung. that's all he ever craved for.

after his discharge from the military, he found himself bombarded with numerous text messages from various people. however, a sense of disappointment overwhelmed him as he realized that not a single message had come from taehyung during the entire two-year period. there were moments when he contemplated typing out sentences like "how are you?" "why the fuck aren't you texting me?" "can i call you?" and "i miss you". yet, he refrained from sending any of these messages, consumed by anger at the fact that taehyung hadn't taken the time to send a single text.

jeongguk couldn't help but wonder if taehyung was sick of him. this thought consumed him, as the mere idea of a life without taehyung seemed unimaginably dismal. jeongguk refused to entertain the thought of such a miserable existence. he firmly believed that there was no possible way taehyung would ever forget about him- he won't let him.

but the assumption of taehyung forgetting about him had engulfed jeongguk's mind in a sick way. after returning from the military he was confessed by mira, someone who admired him from highschool and was kind of desperate to be his girlfriend considering she had asked him out once in high school before. he had seen her texts, so many - something he expected from taehyung.

he didn't like mira, never had even spared a glance her way. but at the time, he wanted to prove something to taehyung.

he wanted taehyung to know there could be someone more special than him. even though it wasn't true, jeongguk knew one look at taehyung's face and he would be all over him. his best friend was someone who gave him peace and attachment was a really ugly thing, it leaves you wanting more of that person, sometimes they are all you can ever think of and jeongguk was sickly attached to taehyung so his absence drove him crazy.

he thought dating would help.

so he started dating mira.

but now as taehyung walked away, suddenly it felt not worth it. was taehyung upset seeing mira? he never got his answer thanks to his girlfriend who was now clinging to his arm, smiling at him.

controlling from rolling his eyes he looked at mira.

"what are we doing today?" mira asked, hopeful big eyes staring at jeongguk who looked at her blankly.

her eyes are pretty... but tae's are prettier. jeongguk thought and was snapped back when mira pulled on his arm with a blush.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"nothing. what were you saying?"

"what are we doing today? any plans?"

"oh sorry, i have classes in a bit. i'll let you know later" jeongguk pulled his arm out of her grip and stepped ahead, ready to leave.

mira sulked and was about to say something but jeongguk waved his hand and walked away, "bye. i'll text you!"

there mira stood, a frown on her pretty face. "but you don't have any classes until 2... you told me yourself"

╍╍╍╍╍

jeongguk hurriedly chased after taehyung, noticing him ascending the stairs. acting on impulse, he hastened up the steps and tightly clutched taehyung's wrist, causing the latter to startle and nearly lose his balance. taehyung turned his head in surprise, his expression filled with astonishment upon seeing jeongguk.

"what are you doing?" taehyung asked, a hint of anger in his tone he didn't intend.

"what am i doing? what are you doing kim taehyung?" jeongguk lowered his voice and looked up at taehyung in a way it physically made the boy paralyzed.

that's all jeongguk has done all this time. look at taehyung as if he had done a crime.

"jeongguk... please, what's wrong with you? why are you looking at me like that?"

"i don't know. maybe you can tell me why" the glistening in his eyes caught taehyung off guard, was jeongguk about to cry?

taehyung looked around. there were too many people and he didn't want anyone to see his supposed-to-be cold best friend who only ever softens around him seen like that. he grabbed jeongguk's hand and rushed up the stairs before entering an empty room, closing the door behind him making sure no one comes in.

he then looked back at jeongguk who stood there, biting on his lower lip, the lip ring missing but it didn't make the boy look any less attractive. if anything, the absence of any accessories and the rawness of his bare face, which had matured significantly since their last encounter, made jeongguk appear even more irresistible. with his newfound masculinity and captivating appearance, the tears that welled up in his usually innocent and doe-like bambi eyes seemed out of place.

"jeongguk..."

"stop fucking calling me that!" jeongguk growled, the tears shimmering in his now glaring eyes as he took a step ahead at taehyung making the boy hesitantly step back to maintain distance.

"jeongguk? since when do you call me that, tae?" his voice softened ever so slightly. "i'm your ggukie, aren't i?"

taehyung wanted to look away. seeing jeongguk hurt was a nasty feeling. worse knowing he was the cause of it.

but he was hurt too. so fucking hurt when he saw jeongguk for the first time in a while, but not alone. with his girlfriend whom he kissed so deeply. that hurt, so bad but taehyung didn't show it. he knew he couldn't.

but pretending everything was fine also wasn't an option. he was only a human. he could also show he was upset, way worse than jeongguk if anything. or at least he thought so.

"ggukie? how can i call you that when i know you're not my same ggukie anymore?" taehyung sneered bitterly and jeongguk's frown deepened.

"two years jeongguk. two fucking years gone and no news about you... no texts, no calls- nothing. it felt as though you disappeared from my life. do you know how that felt?"

jeongguk wanted to laugh. nothing from him? when taehyung was the one who left him without bothering to inform him firsthand. he was betrayed by his best friend and yet he was the one to be blamed?

"how about you tae? first you broke your promise, didn't even bother to inform me until i went to find you. even after that you didn't text or call me. so why am i the only one being interrogated?"

"none of us did. guess that makes us strangers, doesn't it?" taehyung sneered again, now his eyes also blurring with tears.

"watch your fucking mouth taehyung" jeongguk snarled as he grabbed taehyung by his arms and slammed him against the door, making noises he didn't care for.

"i thought of you every day a-alright?" a tear rolled down jeongguk's face and so did taehyung's. they both were just so hurt.

"i don't b-believe you"

"yeah?" jeongguk sniffles, "what makes you think i won't? you're my fucking best friend, kim taehyung. you mean so much to me"

the closeness was making taehyung nervous. jeongguk's words and his face made things worse. their body language and everything was far from how two friends act. but maybe their definition of friendship is different from others.

then why did you kiss her? why do you have a girlfriend if i'm so much to you? taehyung wanted to ask. but he shouldn't- he couldn't. he treasured their friendship too much for it to be risked just like that. taehyung was scared to lose jeongguk knowing no matter what the boy did, he would always love him. if two years weren't enough to make him get over jeongguk, taehyung knew nothing else could.

"but you didn't bother reaching out to me" taehyung sniffled, puckering his lips so he doesn't break down in tears but who would tell him, he was already crying and seeing taehyung cry made it hard for jeongguk to not break down as well.

"i'm sorry... i knew i should have but... but you didn't either. it made me angry" jeongguk's voice was caught in his throat as he watched taehyung sob softly. his grip on the boy's arms loosened as he slowly pulled taehyung forward before wrapping his arms around him, his warmth all too familiar to jeongguk who closed his eyes and let his tears silently roll down as well. "did you wait for my texts?"

"y-yeah... every day" burying his face in jeongguk's shirt taehyung sobbed further, clenching his arms around his shoulders in a way to express how much he had missed his best friend, the one he had feelings for.

because taehyung knows this is as far as he could go with jeongguk since kissing jeongguk was a privilege that mira had and he didn't.

"why didn't you reach out to me then?" jeongguk softly caressed taehyung's hair like he always did.

"i was nervous... i knew you were mad at me. i didn't want to make things worse. i knew it was stupid, i'm sorry"

"you still make the stupidest decisions ever" jeongguk pinched taehyung's arm making the boy whine and pull away from the hug.

falling in love with you is one of them. taehyung looked at jeongguk and thought. he then wiped his tears and then brought his hand to jeongguk's face, wiping his tears away as well while jeongguk stared at him, this time in an affectionate way.

"so you're not mad at me anymore?"

jeongguk grinned playfully, "who said that?"

taehyung rolled his eyes and kicked the male's leg, "your face says it all, dumbass." jeongguk laughed and playfully kicked taehyung back, making him laugh a little.

but then his smile faded as he focused on taehyung again. "you haven't answered my question yet"

taehyung's smile faltered, "what question?"

"how do you feel now that i'm someone else's?"

"not that again" taehyung sighed as he rubbed his temple and then looked at jeongguk, defeated. "why do you make it sound like that?"

jeongguk gave innocent eyes like he had no idea. perhaps he really didn't. he never realized what his words did to taehyung but taehyung knows jeongguk never mean it in that way. however, it still affects him because no matter what, he still has feelings for this oblivious boy.

"like i'm your little secret"

hearing taehyung, jeongguk arched an eyebrow and taehyung immediately regretted his words. maybe seeing jeongguk after so long made him play out of his character and get a bit honest with him.

"you know tae... i have always wanted you to be one"

hold the fuck up. taehyung felt his breath hitch in his throat when jeongguk whispered those words out and inclined close, closer than he should.

their shoes touched and both stood eye to eye. one being awfully sincere and the other nervous as hell.

"my only little secret"

"w-what?"

"come on, don't pretend now" jeongguk emitted a soft, breathy chuckle, his laughter filled with a mix of amusement and a hint of something more.

finally, he managed to corner taehyung against the door, his hands firmly planted on either side of his head. the proximity was so intimate that taehyung couldn't help but worry that his true feelings were laid bare for jeongguk to see but again if jeongguk ever got to know about them he would be not doing this but maybe close to punching the shit outta him to snap him back to reality- the reality of them two never having a future together.

"i really don't know what you're saying gguk" taehyung faced to the side, not wanting to meet the eyes that looked at him with amusement. what the fuck did jeongguk find so amusing?

"you know i have always wanted to lock you up"

taehyung immediately looked back at jeongguk who had a shit-eating grin on his lips.

"and never let anyone see you ever again because with that face, you should be charging people to even look at you, kim taehyung" jeongguk breathed out over taehyung's face and taehyung had this stupid urge to slap jeongguk, because what the heck was he even saying?

"d-dude you're saying nonsense" taehyung internally cursed for stuttering because it gave the push for jeongguk to continue with his grin widening.

"i don't think so. i have always wanted to just lock you up in my house, away from everyone like you're a secret of mine. i'm not even gonna hide, i don't want to share my best friend with anyone"

"are you high or what? stop talking like that... it's weird" but taehyung knew it wasn't weird. jeongguk has always said shit like that and he knows he didn't mean it- not at least in that way.

nevertheless, now it was overwhelming but could he be blamed? taehyung hadn't seen jeongguk for nearly 2 years, someone he was attached to hips with- someone he had such deep feelings for. so if that same jeongguk is all over his personal space and saying those words, how was he supposed to handle it like he always has?

but he had to. he has always.

"weird? no this isn't weird. let me tell you what's weird" jeongguk took in a breath, "you glaring at mira is what's weird"

taehyung's eyes widened. "w-what?"

he thought he did a better job in hiding his emotions. but how can he ever forget that jeongguk can sometimes read him like an open book?

however taehyung wished jeongguk hadn't seen him crying. if he did, then he doesn't know how on earth was he supposed to explain that.

"you think i won't notice that little scowl on your face when you looked down at my hands tangled with mira's?"

thank god, at least he didn't see me crying

"i wasn't scowling!"

"yes you were, tae. tell me, does it bother you? me dating someone?" jeongguk didn't lean back for once and create some space between them. they were so close that anyone passing by could misinterpret the situation and taehyung hoped no one would come at the moment. everything alone right now was driving him nuts.

jeongguk dating? would it bother him? oh jeongguk had no idea and taehyung was going to keep it that way.

"bother me? why would it?" taehyung asked with a confused face he forced on.

jeongguk pierced his eyes on taehyung, waiting for him to perhaps change his reply but he didn't so the boy let out a chuckle. "right, why would it"

"and i wasn't scowling. maybe seeing you after so long made me a bit unprepared but i'm happy for you ok? it's just a bit awkward i guess"

"mhm" jeongguk hummed, still staring at taehyung with a bit of amusement.

"now what?"

"i missed you"

"i missed you too" taehyung said as quick as he could. he was dying to say those words and hearing him jeongguk cracked into a small smile.

"don't be mad at me yeah?" jeongguk gave his puppy eyes that were too hard to resist making taehyung break into giggles, sounding so melodic to jeongguk's ear that his smile widened.

"weren't you mad at me dumbass?"

"was i?" jeongguk was genuinely confused.

"nope" taehyung erupted into laughter and jeongguk couldn't help but join in, their mirth intertwining in perfect harmony. their posture remaining the same with taehyung still trapped under the boy's arms and their bodies practically touching intimately.

none cared until jeongguk noticed.

he looked down and then slowly looked up at taehyung whose smile slightly faltered when he saw jeongguk eyeing him like that.

"you have muscled up tae"

"have you looked at yourself? muscle bunny"

but jeongguk didn't laugh at that, he just stared at taehyung. something about his long stares left taehyung feeling weird.

"my tae" jeongguk sighed as he dropped his head on taehyung's shoulder.

"yeah?" taehyung softly let out. it wasn't uncomfortable, jeongguk had always called him that so endearingly- like they were lovers. but he knew they weren't and they could never be.

"never leave me, yeah?"

"never" the reply was instant yet again. because taehyung knew he couldn't, not until jeongguk kicked him out of his life himself and that can only happen when his feelings are caught and taehyung will do everything in his power to not let that happen.

but for how long?

"uhm tae... didn't you have classes?"

"shit"

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