✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

when you're already in a lousy mood and bad things keep happening- that might just be the worst thing ever. it's like the universe is piling misfortune on you and you just want to take a damn break but you can't. like every little thing that could go wrong was going wrong. that feels maddening and that's exactly how jeongguk was feeling right now when he was in front of taehyung's door.

the door swung open, not revealing the face jeongguk expected.

jeongguk's eyebrows creased together and lips stayed in a thin line. he was trying his best to not scowl. but a frustrated scoff escaped his lips anyway. great, this can't get any worse.

"oh fancy seeing you here, mr anti homo" yoongi flashed a smug grin, leaning against the doorframe and jeongguk had this urge to punch that smug look off the older's face but again he held back.

"who is it, yoongi hyung?" taehyung approached the door and his eyes fell on jeongguk who shifted his gaze to him now. finally a good sight to lay his eyes on, jeongguk thought.

the moment jeongguk saw yoongi, he had made a mental note to himself that he wouldn't create a scene but seeing taehyung, his inner ambivalence got the best of him. so without his own knowing, the words spilled from his pouty lips.

"what the fuck is he doing here?"

taehyung noticed yoongi rolling his eyes and let out a sigh. he turned to meet jeongguk's pouting gaze and gave him a look that clearly conveyed, 'shut up or i'm gonna close the door on your face'. getting the hint, jeongguk reluctantly averted his eyes.

"he's here to help me with some studies. we share a class and i missed a few lectures so yeah..." taehyung didn't know why he felt the need to clarify himself. perhaps regret washed over him as soon as jeongguk turned away, realizing he might have been too harsh in telling him not to scowl.

"so you're busy?" jeongguk asked, looking dejected.

how could taehyung not recognize that face of despair? he could tell from a single glance that jeongguk was going through a hard time.

he recalled jeongguk's father was home, perhaps that had to do something with his mood. however, jeongguk usually isolated himself whenever conflicts with his parents happened. so why was he here now? what had gotten so bad that he ended up at taehyung's door, looking like a lost puppy?

though his mind buzzed with too many questions and his gut twisted with worry, taehyung didn't voice his thoughts out loud and instead looked at yoongi, "hyung... do you mind if he joins?"

yoongi gave a nonchalant nod and it was all taehyung needed. unlike jeongguk, yoongi didn't seem like one to pick a fight with the other for simply their sexualities, so as long as jeongguk behaved, they should be fine.

giving the two some space, yoongi retreated inside and propped himself on the floor by the table and continued going through the notes. taehyung focused on jeongguk and made some space for the boy to enter. "you wanna join us?"

i want to be alone with you. jeongguk swallowed the urge to blurt that out loud. taehyung had an exam tomorrow, he can't possibly burden him with his own shits right now. so he just nodded. he might become a distraction to taehyung if he joins them but there was no other place for him to go. deciding to keep silence, he opted to stay,

but jeongguk forgot he hates yoongi's guts.

keeping quiet was turning out to be pretty darn difficult, almost like holding in an itchy sneeze.

especially when yoongi had one arm draped over taehyung's shoulder, scribbling on the notebook with the other hand, explaining something that went over jeongguk's head. well, he was a business major so he was pretty much useless here. all he could help taehyung with was shutting the fuck up and that was coming along really strenuous.

he sat across them, chin propped on his palm as his thumb scrolled through the phone screen but his gaze wholly fixed on them, observing how taehyung with all concentration nodded and wrote down whatever yoongi was telling him.

although they were not in an intimate position, jeongguk would very much like it if yoongi removed his damn hand from taehyung's shoulder. however, taehyung didn't seem to mind it, he in fact looked very comfortable in yoongi's arms.

jeongguk's scowl deepened.

control, jeongguk. control.

then suddenly, the doorbell rang again.

as taehyung went to answer it, another voice boomed in and jeongguk's scowl now dissipated into a sarcastic chuckle.

"oh are you fucking kidding me?" jeongguk mumbled to himself as he turned his head, from where he could see someone walking behind taehyung.

"thanks for letting me join in taehyungie! i'd be pretty fucked if i started studying on my own now- okay what the fuck is this hulk doing here?" jimin's voice did a 180 turn, going from cherry to annoyance when he entered the room and found jeongguk already glaring at him.

"i can ask you the same, midget. never fail to crowd an already cramped space, can you?" jeongguk smiled creepily.

yoongi and taehyung looked at each other, shaking their heads together.

oh their brains were about to be fried, but not from studying.

~~~

thirty minutes in and taehyung was already wishing he'd stuck to studying with yoongi only. now he has to deal with two idiots; jeongguk and jimin, who were glaring at each other, dragging one another on every sentence that was heard in the room.

"wait, do we really have this topic? didn't we already do a project on this last month?" jimin asked.

"can't even remember shit of what's going to come in the exam that's literally tomorrow. embarrassing" jeongguk muttered to himself, scrolling through his phone.

jimin took a deep breath and then glared at jeongguk, one side of his lip quirking up in a forced smile, "at least not as embarrassing as coming uninvited like some people"

the thumb that was hovering over the screen froze as jeongguk slowly raised his head and looked at jimin, a side of his eyebrow arched in sheer anger. "huh? say that again, midget"

yoongi stopped explaining and taehyung stopped writing as their attention switched to the infuriated boys, ready to jump down each other's throats. the chances were even higher because jimin was the closest to jeongguk's hold. a fight was about to break out at any moment.

"i said-"

"gguk!" taehyung called out, interrupting the fuming jimin. jeongguk's glare trailed to taehyung, his gaze softening on its own.

"uhm... i'm hungry. can you cook us some ramen if it's not a problem?"

"for them too?" jeongguk was blunt with his question as he motioned his finger towards yoongi and jimin. taehyung's face flushed red.

"yeah, for all of us" taehyung licked his lips, looking at the other with big brown eyes and how could jeongguk ever say no to those eyes?

rolling his eyes, jeongguk stood up, "ugh fine" then he went to the kitchen.

"phew" taehyung sighed in relief, now focusing on jimin, pressing a hand on his shoulder and flashing an apologetic smile. "jiminie, please can you not fight with him? you know how jeongguk is... if you won't cooperate, we won't be able to study. exam tomorrow, remember?"

"yeah jimin. don't talk to him, it'll just give you a headache" yoongi said.

after having that last talk with jeongguk, yoongi figured only taehyung could tolerate that guy's ass. he didn't particularly hate jeongguk, he could tell jeongguk wasn't what he showed him as but yoongi wasn't patient enough to deal with so much complications. if jeongguk won't let other people pass through the wall he has created around him then there is no point in trying.

in fact, there was no reason to try in the first place. befriending jeongguk wasn't going to bring anyone anything because, after all, it was clear as daylight, jeongguk didn't give a fuck about anyone else than taehyung.

jimin's anger subsided and he nodded. really what was the point in fighting an asshole. "i'm sorry taehyungie. it won't happen again"

"don't say sorry but thanks for understanding jiminie" taehyung smiled more freely this time as all of them got back to studying again.

a while later, jeongguk reappeared, bearing a tray laden with four steaming bowls of ramen. he knelt and placed them in the center of the table, serving taehyung his bowl and then taking his own. not bothering to serve jimin and yoongi. yeah not surprising.

all of them were pretty hungry so they took a break from studying to eat. taehyung hummed in satisfaction after taking the first fuming hot slurp of the noodles, he just loved the way jeongguk makes them. he once tried to learn how to make them himself but ended up having jeongguk do it for him. that was for the better, he preferred jeongguk's cooking over anyone's anyway.

taehyung swayed his shoulders in pure ecstasy while stuffing his mouth with the noodles. a smile broke through jeongguk's lips as he ate while fondly watching the other. just to see that contented smile on taehyung's lips was enough to make spending so much time on cooking the ramen worth it- even though he could have easily made them the usual way.

meanwhile, both jimin and yoongi coughed a little as soon as they took their first bite.

"shit, why is this so spicy?" jimin furrowed his brows and fanned his mouth with his hand.

"yeah, it's a bit spicy" yoongi let out. if even he said it was spicy, then that shit was spicy.

"what? really? but mine's fine" taehyung spoke with his mouth full, his words coming out jumbled.

"because i made yours less spicy. and the rest is made how i like, burn your ass typa spicy" jeongguk grinned as he watched jimin's red face and yoongi attempting to stay nonchalant. jeongguk's spice tolerance was no joke but even he was breaking into a sweat eating this so he could only imagine what type of inferno was blasting through the other two's mouths.

he usually doesn't bother making it this spicy but in no way was he going to cook for yoongi and jimin, letting them have a good little snack. no, they were going to explode their toilet later on while cursing the living daylight out of him- he made sure of it. maybe he would go through the same process but he was absolutely fine with it. let taehyung be full and contented.

others can go to hell, ridiculously enough, including himself.

"oh you did this on purpose, didn't you?" jimin rasped out, taking another bite because despite its spiciness, it was awfully delicious. plus, he was starving- so can't blame him.

"you're still eating"

"i'm hungry!" jimin took another bite. his eyes becoming watery.

"jiminie, stop. i'll order something for you. don't eat that" taehyung took the bowl from the male.

"uhm it's okay. don't bother, i'll manage" jimin didn't want to admit the noodles were one of the best he had in a while. so even if it was spicy as hell, he was thoroughly enjoying them.

"it's delicious. thanks for the food" yoongi interrupted, focused on eating but it was clear who those words were directed to.

jeongguk's smug expression wavered slightly as he stared at yoongi. sensing the boy's gaze, yoongi glanced at him and then around at the others, who were all staring at him, visibly shocked.

"what?"

"woah babe, did you just compliment that hulk?" jimin blinked his eyes, amused.

yoongi then looked at jeongguk, "yeah, the food's great. good job"

"w-what" jeongguk tried to scowl but it was clear he was flustered by the sudden compliment, from such an unexpected person at that. glancing down, he continued eating. "whatever"

yoongi shrugged and resumed eating, while taehyung's gaze stayed fixed on jeongguk, a fond smile playing on his heart shaped lips.

sensing taehyung's gaze, jeongguk lifted his head, mouth stuffed with noodles, lips swollen and red from the spiciness. he tilted his head upon noticing taehyung smiling at him like that before flicking his chin in a questioning gesture. in response, taehyung just shook his head, averting his gaze to his bowl to continue eating but still stealing glances at jeongguk in between bites.

suddenly, he recalled jeongguk's promise not to hate his friends anymore. there had never been a time when jeongguk treated yoongi or jimin well but today he was making an effort. perhaps that little effort today marked a small step toward fulfilling that promise.

who knows maybe one day jeongguk will be okay with everything. even my feelings? a voice echoed within him and taehyung's smile faded. he tightened his grip on the chopsticks.

"uh tae, my noodles?" jimin's voice snapped taehyung out of his trance. he realized he was still keeping jimin's bowl to himself. saying a small sorry, he returned it. then again glanced at jeongguk, finding him already staring at him.

when their gazes locked, this time jeongguk was first to avert it. silently shoving noodles into his mouth like he wasn't staring at taehyung the whole time from the corner of his eyes.

this entire time it was clear jeongguk wanted some alone time with taehyung. taehyung could feel it in his bones but he waited for the boy to voice out his thoughts, for he can't afford to stay in the same space as jeongguk alone right now. it would mess up his head and he really needed his head to be in the right place at the moment.

however, if jeongguk were to ask him for some alone time, taehyung would agree without hesitation. most likely, he would take a walk outside with him and ask him what was on his mind. that was his plan if jeongguk mentioned anything like that.

however, jeongguk didn't say anything at all. he ate in silence, didn't even bicker again with jimin or glare at the way yoongi scooted closer to explain taehyung after they were done eating. jeongguk was zoning out, fiddling with his fingers.

the urge to question jeongguk about what was bothering him gnawed at taehyung but he forced himself to remain silent. he tried to focus all his concentration on studying. he couldn't afford to perform poorly, especially since his grades had been declining every semester. it was time to buckle down and get serious.

so they both sat there, facing each other, consumed by thoughts of the other yet neither dared to acknowledge it aloud.

jimin and yoongi stole glances at each other, sensing the unspoken tension between the other pair. after finishing explaining the last topic, yoongi stood up, gesturing jimin to do so as well.

"wait, you guys are leaving?" taehyung looked up at the boys who were stretching their arms.

"yeah, i think you've caught up on everything you missed. now, you just need to review all of it, which you should do alone for better concentration." yoongi suggested.

"i'll also revise the rest at yoongi's place" jimin looped his arm around yoongi's. yoongi responded with a smirk and a casual nod.

"oh alright. also thanks to both of you, i feel optimistic about tomorrow." taehyung flashed his boxy smile. pleased, now that he completed the syllabus.

"see you tomorrow then" with that, they left with grins plastered on their faces which taehyung found weird. what they were grinning about?

while taehyung was locking the door he felt jeongguk's presence right behind him. his breath hitched in his throat as the male rested his chin on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his front against his back; now exhaling small breaths.

"finally, just us two" jeongguk rasped out, taking in taehyung's scent that calmed the storm within him.

"ggukie... what's wrong?" taehyung finally asked the question that had terrorized his mind all this time. he cupped jeongguk's side of face with his hand, peering at him from his peripheral vision.

"everything. except you, everything is fucking wrong"

taehyung gradually shifted his position, prompting jeongguk to initially hesitate before allowing taehyung to turn within his arms. now facing each other, jeongguk kept his hands on taehyung's waist as they locked eyes- one filled with confusion, the other with weariness.

before taehyung could say anything, jeongguk said, "i broke up with mira"

a smile almost tugged at taehyung's lips, which he suppressed before jeongguk could notice. this was messed up. what was he getting so happy for? his best friend broke up and that's his first reaction? no, he shouldn't let himself slip through the cracks of his own conscience.

moreover, jeongguk seemed so happy talking about breaking up last night so why did he appear so melancholic at the moment? did he in fact, not want to break up with mira? even the thought alone gutted taehyung.

he gently cradled jeongguk's face in his warm hands and as soon as those hands touched his cheeks, jeongguk closed his eyes, soaking into taehyung's warmth. oh, he was so tired.

"wish everyone would just disappear except you"

taehyung let out a soft chuckle, "do you think we can survive on each other alone?"

"i can. i know for a fact, i don't need anyone other than you. you're my..." everything. jeongguk wanted to say but he held back. "my best friend." he smiled but his eyes didn't and that told, how fake it was. taehyung's heart ached.

"so mind telling your best friend, what's bothering you? did mira say something?"

jeongguk's breathing halted for a second right there.

you don't love him, you can't love anyone jeon jeongguk.

you're incapable of loving.

in the end, he's going to get hurt, maybe far more than i'm hurting now.

you're fucked up.

you only know how to ruin lives and i hope taehyung realizes that and fucking leaves you.

you don't deserve him

you don't deserve love

jeongguk swallowed hard. the corners of his eyes suddenly stung with tears and to hide it, he tried lowering his head. taehyung's eyes turned big noticing that, compelling him to grab jeongguk's face firmer this time and puff those cheeks out.

then jeongguk's tear-filled eyes met taehyung's- the sheer despair in those bambi eyes hurt taehyung on a level he couldn't describe.

who hurt jeongguk? was it mira? taehyung's jaw clenched. he had no negative feelings for that girl but if she dared hurt his jeongguk, he would not spare her.

"what's hurting you gguk? is it mira? did she say something? tell me please"

jeongguk blinked, tears getting on his eyelashes. taehyung's heart hurt more.

"why am i like this?" jeongguk sniffled, covering taehyung's hands with his own. "i'm so lost, tae. i'm so fucking lost"

taehyung's own eyes started watering. seeing jeongguk like this hurts like hell and it hurts even more when he says those words. because how funny, he also feels the same way. he was so lost, so lost in these feelings he has harbored for the man in front of him, who will hold him the closest but never love him the way he does. it sucks, it sucks so bad.

"you'll find your way out, i'm here for you. we will find our way out of this together" taehyung sniffled, offering a reassuring smile that eased jeongguk who broke through a smile himself.

"you think so?"

"absolutely"

jeongguk smiled through his teary eyes, blurring his vision for a split second before taehyung's thumb brushed those tears away, clearing his sight of the boy who stared at him with such affection jeongguk couldn't help smiling some more.

"you're such a baby, gguk" taehyung watched as jeongguk leaned onto his touch, closing his eyes and nodding.

jeongguk was indeed a baby but just for taehyung.

for the rest of the world jeongguk was a cold hearted bastard that didn't give a fuck about anything. it might sound messed up but taehyung liked it that way. no one could see through jeongguk the way he can, doesn't that make him superior to others in jeongguk's life? that he was the one jeongguk ever unmasked himself to, showed him these raw emotions that never failed to spill as if taehyung were a part of him rather than a separate person with his own emotions, thoughts, and perspectives.

it was clear as daylight, other than taehyung, jeongguk didn't care about anyone and anything.

but so did taehyung, in his own twisted way, jeongguk was all he had.

taehyung was so lost in his trance of just staring at the boy he has fallen so deeply in love with that he didn't notice how that very boy closed the distance between them. their chests collided as jeongguk propped his chin on taehyung's shoulder, completely enclosing him in a hug.

"your baby's tired" jeongguk exhaled, and it wasn't in a teasing tone; he genuinely sounded tired.

taehyung's fingers curled around jeongguk's broad back. without saying anything, he walked forward with jeongguk clinging to him like a koala, though not weighing him down as jeongguk moved backward, showing no intention of letting go as they made their way to the bed. only then did jeongguk unwrap himself from taehyung, watching as taehyung climbed onto the bed and scooted to the side to make room for him.

it was still too early for them to sleep. the sun was just setting but jeongguk was always up for cuddling taehyung even though he usually hates cuddling. he's not fond of skinship but with taehyung, everything is different.

as always, taehyung is and will forever be his only exception.

he crawled over to taehyung, plopped down on his side, rested his head on the male's arm and draped his tattooed arm over his torso.

"don't you have to study?" jeongguk asked in a whisper. finding comfort in the silence of the small room, especially with the person who sprawled his arm over for him to rest his head on. there was a bit of distance between their bodies but that was fine. taehyung's warmth still radiated to him.

"oh i studied a lot. a little break won't hurt" taehyung's own eyelids started to become heavy. he blinked slowly, staring at jeongguk who stared back at him with those big bambi eyes.

no, don't think taehyung wasn't having a hard time. his heart was a tumultuous mess in his chest but cuddling? this is nothing out of the odd. they have done it all their lives so it didn't feel strange to him. although he was a bit too self-conscious at the moment but he pushed that aside. his jeonggukie needed him, so despite wanting to get up and pace around the room due to the adrenaline rush, he restrained himself.

right now, jeongguk mattered the most- in fact, jeongguk had always been the most important thing in taehyung's life. he always put the boy before himself in every situation.

"break..." yeah let's take a break from everything, tae. jeongguk closed his eyes, just a little nap won't hurt right?

╸╸╸

by the time, jeongguk woke up. the room was dark, illuminated only by the faint glow of the kitchen lights, casting sparse light into the room. yawning, he tried to sit up but halted when he realized taehyung had his leg and arm draped over him, keeping him trapped underneath.

smiling to himself, jeongguk turned his head to stare at taehyung's sleeping face. brushing a few hair strands off his face to get a better view.

"you're working so hard." he mumbled to himself.

the urge to continue sleeping while cuddling taehyung was painfully strong but jeongguk remembered who was back at home. his smile turned into a thin line of lips as he rolled his eyes back at the ceiling- he should get up.

initially he wanted to sneak out of taehyung's apartment since he didn't want to interrupt the other's sleep but considering taehyung has an important exam tomorrow, he should get up and continue studying, that's what taehyung would prefer anyway.

so he nudged the male's arm and softly called out his name, "tae, hey, wake up"

taehyung stirred from his sleep, his eyes slowly opening and then settling on jeongguk. he blinked gradually, then his eyes enlarged. soon enough, taehyung was sitting up, glancing around the room as if trying to reorient himself to reality.

"i should go now" jeongguk said, his tone dry.

"huh? ah yeah. you should" taehyung ruffled his bed hair after standing up and stretching his arms.

jeongguk also stood up, watching taehyung as he slowly emerged from his sleepiness, then looked away. don't jeongguk. he reminded himself as he walked to the door, taehyung following behind.

"uh gguk"

jeongguk turned, staring at him with his face of indifference.

something felt off.

but taehyung couldn't find it in him to address it. something told jeongguk would prefer to just leave and not have another deep heart to heart conversation. taehyung had already comforted him, assured him that he would be here for him. now it was in jeongguk's hands to come to him, open up about what's bothering him and if he didn't want to do that right now then maybe alone time is what the boy needs, just like taehyung does at times. it was just about right and so taehyung didn't pry.

he gave a tight lipped smile, waving his hand. "goodnight"

"goodnight tae. best of luck with your exam tomorrow" jeongguk returned the smile as something even more subtle.

and then he opened the door, closed it behind him and left.

taehyung stood there for a few seconds, thinking and stressing of many 'what ifs' before he went to the washroom to refresh himself then getting back to studying.

╸╸╸

parking his bike in the garage, jeongguk had never been this tensed to enter his own house before. he took a few seconds just to compose himself before opening the front door, already expecting one of his parent to welcome or more likely, torment him.

he found none.

a sigh of relief unknowingly escaped his lips. he really didn't want to deal with his parents bullshit right now- he never wants to but at the moment, especially because he was with taehyung, his heart and mind was at ease, which was a big deal for him considering mira's words had taken a toll on him on his way to taehyung's place.

he wouldn't blame her for saying all of that. she had every right to curse him out. it was what he deserved for playing with her feelings, even though she had given him the right to do so. he couldn't comprehend how could mira, or anyone else possibly be in love with him- someone so fucked from head, someone who can't even deal with his own emotions.

mira was right. he was incapable of loving and he didn't deserve love.

however, when she practically cursed and wished for taehyung to leave him, that was when jeongguk lost his composure. he hadn't shown it but those words pierced through his heart, hurt him in a way he was left numb for a few seconds. yet as always, taehyung managed to alleviate that pain. it's as if taehyung is his remedy, no matter the source of his pain.

jeongguk wished for it to always be like this.

as he climbed the stairs, deciding to simply go to sleep, he found himself not very hungry. even if he were, cooking something or even ordering food right now was out of the question. he wanted to avoid drawing attention from anyone else in the house at any cost.

however, with each step he took, his instincts sharpened.

jeongguk's hold on the handrail tightened and eyes snapped up. shit shit shit!

he hurried up the stairs and discovered the door to his room wide open. his blood ran cold as he forcefully pushed the door open wider with his hand.

the man presented in the room turned and then smiled at him.

"oh, if it isn't my dear son"

jeongguk's head dizzied for just a second before his gaze trailed to the album in his father's hand.

he took a step in and then another, but then stopped. his feet won't drag any further than this, he was paralyzed by a familiar emotion- fear.

his gaze lingered on the album. his father glanced down at it before returning his gaze on the stagnant boy, an overly sweet smile curling his lips.

"i must say, you take such excellent pictures... of your friend," his father's smile faded. those eyes aged with years appearing so dark and so stoic and so strikingly similar to jeongguk's own, making it difficult for jeongguk to meet his gaze.

he took another step further, "g-give that back"

a coarse chuckle reverberated through the room. jeongguk clenched his fists, finally raising his head to meet his father's gaze, instantly regretting it. for it has been so long since he has met that gaze, it did damage to his conscience.

"i honestly didn't know he was so close to you, son." the man held the photo album up in the air, gesturing at it with a stern look in his eyes, "this album is filled with his pictures, both of you together actually, while you have hardly any with your own family. i wonder why."

"it... it's personal. just give it back" jeongguk extended his arm, stepping even closer.

his father arched an eyebrow, glancing at the album.

"personal?"

shit. i shouldn't have said that. jeongguk clenched his jaw, his fists trembling by his sides. he didn't know why he was so scared, it's just a photo album, nothing's wrong in it, nothing-

the older jeon opened the album and pointed at one of the pictures. it showed taehyung sleeping beside jeongguk, with jeongguk making a peace sign while clicking the photo.

"what kind of obscene picture is this?"

there was absolutely nothing inappropriate about the picture. jeongguk had taken it during one of their usual sleepovers, while he was cleaning his camera and ranting to taehyung, who had eventually dozed off. after finishing cleaning and noticing taehyung asleep, he couldn't resist snapping a photo since the camera was freshly cleaned. jeongguk had no obscene intentions as his father's seemingly accusing him of right now.

therefore, jeongguk shouldn't feel like he had been caught. taehyung was his best friend, his only dearest friend- what's so obscene about clicking pictures of his friend? but when his father glared at him and pointed at the pictures like it was a crime, jeongguk was sent back in time.

he deserved it. fucking disgusting.

jeongguk's legs wobbled. shit, he shouldn't have left the album there in the drawers. he should have kept it locked away from everyone- even himself.

"i asked you something jeongguk. wait what was his name again, ah, taehyung." the man's eyes raged with something sick, the gaze so familiar to jeongguk that he wanted to look away but he tortured himself into locking gazes. he can't give more room for suspicion. "who is he, really? friends don't typically have an entire album filled only with their pictures, do they, son?"

"it's a gift for him, alright? i made one for my other friend too... i like taking pictures, it's not a big deal. nothing like you are thinking. i'm not like that, won't ever fucking be" jeongguk spat out, his own words venomous to his tongue. what a fucking lie and what a fucking coward he is.

"is that so?" he eyed the album, "he looks a bit... how should i put it..." the man halted to chuckle, "gay. doesn't he?"

"no, he doesn't." jeongguk's voice seethed with anger.

his father was doing this on purpose, just to edge him into speaking what he wanted to hear. taehyung didn't look gay, he looked like taehyung- he was his own person.

something like homosexuality won't taint him, jeongguk won't let it- neither taehyung, nor him.

the way jeongguk was now glaring at him irked the man, he placed the album on the bedside table, now walking to him. stopping right in front of jeongguk.

his father looked into those enraged eyes, "i see right through you boy."

"if you did then you wouldn't be bullshitting right now, father" jeongguk glared at the man.

once again, those eyes, aged with years, looked so similar to his own and jeongguk despised how much he resembled his father. he loathed the man standing before him, as well as his mother and brother- jeongguk detested his entire family. despite his disdain, he felt trapped by them; because he knows wherever he'll go, he will always be seen as mr. jeon's prestigious young son. oh god, he despised it with every fiber of his being.

the man's face contorted with ugly anger as he grabbed jeongguk by his jaw tightly. his voice reverberated with authority. "speak like that again and you'll face the consequences"

jeongguk didn't fight back, he just glared at his old man. his gaze strong and fierce. he wasn't going to bow down to his father, never had and never would. but deep down he knows, he has bowed and surrendered to this man long ago, now he was just deluding himself.

at some point, the man let go of jeongguk's jaw with a grimace on his face as he turned his back and walked forward, rubbing his wrinkled temple with his fingers, sighing. jeongguk massaged his jaw, knowing red marks were already printed on his pale face.

the man then turned, staring at jeongguk with his usual poker face, a trait jeongguk had inherited as well.

"you're coming with me to america tomorrow"

taehyung couldn't concentrate at all. he stood up from his table, paced back and forth in his room then plopped on the chair again, twirling the pen in his fingers.

"should i have asked?" maybe he should have. jeongguk didn't look okay, who knows if he was looking for some more comfort? "ah shit, i definitely should have!" he grumbled, frustratingly running his hands through his hair before letting them rest there.

he remembered those sad eyes and that melancholic smile, how they transformed into brightness at his mere touch and words. it brought a smile to his own heart-shaped lips.

"i'll ask him tomorrow..." he decided. they'll have a thorough talk and try to figure out whatever jeongguk was going through. whether a post breakup phase or issues with his father, or something else. they'll figure it out. they always have.

then suddenly his phone buzzed with a notification. taehyung's eyes lit up and a smile spread to his lips, thinking that it was jeongguk. he grabbed his phone and unlocked it to open the text.

his smile dropped.

unknown:
hey, taehyung
it's me, mira

"huh?" jeongguk's hand fell from his face, eyes wide with disbelief.

"you heard me boy. i'm going to texas on a month-long business trip and you're coming with me. observe how shit works because it's you who'll take the position after me, it's about time you learn your ways in the business"

he knew very well his father was neglecting his brother, who struggled with business and academics in general, deemed by his father as a disappointing older son who couldn't meet expectations. this left jeongguk to handle everything alone, while his brother, although involved in his father's business still avoided getting involved in any difficulties. on the other hand, jeongguk was sharp in every aspect, the perfect tool for his parents.

but jeongguk knows his brother loathes him just as much as he loathes his brother; the feeling is mutual and at this point, this entire family was a shitshow where jeongguk was hung like a puppet.

jeongguk chuckled, dry and humorlessly, "do you hear yourself father? don't do this out of bitterness, i told you it's nothing like that-"

"i said you're coming and that's the end of discussion."

"i have exams starting next week" jeongguk reasoned.

"i'll handle it with the authorities, so don't worry. just start packing; we're leaving at 7 tomorrow morning."

"you can't fucking do this. i won't go"

"jeongguk" his father called his name out in a plain, dry voice but it still sent shivers down his spine. he can never argue back when his father calls his name out like that.

"it's just a month. you've been to america before, why are you behaving like this now?" the slight mockery in that tone yet again irritated jeongguk.

because i'll fucking see those people again... jeongguk clenched his fists. there was no way out of this.

he nodded, "fine. now please leave, i need to sleep"

his father didn't argue further and started to walk towards the door but then halted, his back still facing jeongguk as he uttered, "i trust you, son. don't break this trust."

just fucking leave, goddamnit!

his father left.

jeongguk plopped on the carpeted floor, turning his head to the bedside table as he grabbed the album, opening it and staring at one of taehyung's picture he clicked without the boy's knowing, his thumb brushing against the picture.

a tear rolled down jeongguk's eyes, "you and i... best friends? h-hah, i guess that's all we can ever be"

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