✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

1 year 8 months later:

it has been two months since taehyung completed his military service. so now after almost two years later, he made the decision to return to university. rather than wasting time doing nothing, he wanted to get his degree swiftly and prove himself to his parents.

even before he was born, his parents tried to start a business in seoul, but it was unsuccessful. as a result, they returned to daegu and resumed their family farming business. but taehyung didn't want to do that, he wanted to become someone of his own.

however, he was grateful to his mother for being a very close frien of jeongguk's mother, which also made them childhood friends. this allowed him to meet someone like jeongguk and know him since the day he was born. life became much better with jeongguk, and he was thankful for that. because taehyung can't imagine his life without jeongguk- 2 years without him and taehyung feels miserable. it was unhealthy but the presence of his best friend had become a huge part of his life so now he can't imagine jeongguk out of it - it was impossible.

anyway, back to topic. when his parents returned to daegu after he finished middle school, he was left alone living in dormitories until he eventually rented a small studio room.

sometimes he thinks would it have been better if he had gone back home with his parents in middle school? before his silly heart decided to catch feelings for his best friend, a guy - jeon jeongguk.

however time can't be rewind. he can't dwell on thoughts of what ifs. just like right now the thought of 'what if jeongguk's still angry on me' was wandering in his head.

the reason taehyung thought that way was because jeongguk hadn't contacted him since their departure that night. not in the four days before his enlistment or even after his return in these two months. taehyung was deeply hurt to see his best friend not even say goodbye before he left for the military. he knew jeongguk was angry, but he didn't realize it was to the extent that he wouldn't even bother to send him off.

so the 'what if' of jeongguk still being angry on him worried taehyung. more knowing he was the reason taehyung even left so early in the first place.

taehyung wanted to get rid off these feelings he has for jeongguk, his childhood best friend. he thought if he is away from jeongguk for 18 months and has the time to focus on himself in the military. he would turn back normal. that he would get rid of these dirty feelings for his own best friend who's also a man.

jeongguk would see his feelings as a disgusting disease, he was sure of it. so taehyung tried to have a similar perception as well. even though he didn't believe liking someone of the same gender was any near disgusting. it was the same as liking someone of the opposite gender. but jeongguk didn't see it that way and taehyung knew it very well.

so what he could do?

he couldn't just go tell jeongguk he liked him. that was impossible and taehyung was scared, he didn't want to lose jeongguk because of these feelings he had harbored for the male since high school. it was eating him out alive.

so the best option he saw was enlisting.

now after returning, taehyung was uncertain if it had worked because he hadn't seen jeongguk or had any form of interaction with him to know what he still felt for his best friend; if he missed him as a best friend or something else.

he felt anxious, a type of nervousness that was eating away at him. after finishing his military service, he went to his parents' home in daegu to spend the next two months. he hadn't received any texts or calls from jeongguk, which made it seem as if they had gone their separate ways, but taehyung knew that couldn't be true.

their years of friendship can't end just because of him enlisting early. it would be stupid and they both treasured their friendship a lot for it to just end it like that.

the two months spent at his parents' house were enjoyable, but deep within, taehyung's heart longed to return to seoul. it wasn't solely because of studies, friends, or his burning desire to get that coveted degree. no, the true reason behind his eagerness to be back in the bustling city was none other than jeongguk. taehyung yearned to lay his eyes upon jeongguk once more, his longing for him growing stronger with each passing day.

after a period of two months had elapsed, he finally made his way back to his small studio room, carrying a sizable luggage with him. a heavy sigh escaped his lips, indicating a mixture of relief and weariness as he stepped into the elevator. it was at that moment when the elevator doors were just about to shut, that someone in a desperate hurry, sprinted towards the closing doors. seeing the person rushing, taehyung firmly pressed the button to hold the elevator for the person.

it was a man who appeared to be slightly shorter than taehyung who briefly looked at him and said a 'thank you' before diverting his attention back to his phone. upon observing the man, taehyung noticed that they appeared to be around the same age, but he couldn't recall ever seeing him in the neighborhood before. normally, taehyung didn't pay much attention to the people living around him, but this man's good looks caught his eye, leading him to believe that he would have remembered encountering him earlier if they had crossed paths.

there was an awkward silence until the lift took them to the fourth floor. taehyung noticed the guy also getting out at the same floor and so they both walked out. the guy glanced at taehyung and then at the luggage with him. "you new?"

taehyung was starlet. he didn't expect the guy to talk to him. with a hesitant shake of head he said no. "actually i just finished my military service so yeah, not new"

"oh." the guy nodded and then stopped in front of the door that was right beside taehyung's.

"guess we are neighbors" taehyung smiled as he stood in front of his door. the guy smiled back softly and it actually made the guy look less intimidating.

"i'm yoongi"

"taehyung."

"okay taehyung, are you a returning student then?"

"yes. i'm starting uni tomorrow"

"best of luck. it gets a bit tough after a break"

"are you also a returning student?"

"no. i'll be graduating soon"

"whoa, you're a senior then. i hope to get more advices from you" taehyung bowed slightly with a smile and yoongi chuckled lightly.

"anytime" yoongi unlocked the door and while stepping inside he gave another nod to the younger. "see you around then, taehyung"

having someone reliable around was hard and for some reasons taehyung could feel that vibe coming from the older so he smiled widely, "yes, hyung!"

after that taehyung entered the small flat and let out a sigh. it had been long since he's been here. the memory of jeongguk's face that he had seen the last time flashed in front of his eyes- the boy who looked so devastated. taehyung was guilty for hurting jeongguk but he didn't imagine it'd turn out to be such a big deal for the male.

but it was necessary. to be away from jeongguk and sort these messy feelings out.

tidying up his place, he slept early. sleep not knowing his address from the excitement of going to university the next day- to see jeongguk.

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as taehyung passed through the gate, he was greeted by the familiar sight of his campus and the presence of some familiar faces. it was undeniably nerve-wracking for him to return after such a long break, almost two years later. the surroundings of the university stirred up a sense of nostalgia within taehyung, reminding him of the countless memories he had made during his time here.

however, amidst his excitement and anticipation, there was a tinge of disappointment. last night, taehyung had repeatedly checked his phone, desperately hoping to receive a message from his best friend, jeongguk. unfortunately, his efforts were in vain as there were no messages from him. the absence of communication from jeongguk for almost two years felt strange and unsettling to taehyung, leaving him with a lingering sense of discomfort.

he has never been away from jeongguk for such a long time.

"taehyung?" upon hearing his name taehyung turned around finding namjoon and hoseok approaching him.

"it is really you! damn man, been so long!" hoseok rushed to taehyung and hugged him tightly, namjoon standing right beside them, a sharp dimple smile on his face.

"hey guys. how have you been?" taehyung reciprocated hoseok's tight hug and then shifted his gaze towards namjoon, smiling at the male. despite the fact that hoseok and namjoon were primarily jeongguk's friends, taehyung had effortlessly become acquainted with them as well, simply because jeongguk was constantly by his side and also because of his extroverted nature.

seeing them also made taehyung nervous, nervous because of the 'what if' of jeongguk being anywhere near. his heart yearned to see jeongguk, but again he was nowhere to be seen.

"oh dude don't ask. it's been so boring without you and jeongguk!" hoseok exhaled and taehyung's smile faded.

"yeah man. maybe we should have also joined you two" namjoon joked. enlisting while studying was a complicated process and most students rather don't do it.

but what did namjoon mean by joining them? it was only taehyung who enlisted, right?

"what do you mean?" hoseok and namjoon exchanged glances and then made a face of realisation.

"oh shit. you don't know do you?" taehyung looked at namjoon and slowly shook his head.

"jeongguk enlisted a month later you"

taehyung's eyebrows knitted together and his lips parted as he let out a huh.

there was absolutely no possibility that jeongguk would enlist so early like taehyung. jeongguk had always made it clear that if taehyung didn't decide to enlist by the age of 25, he would do everything in his power to delay his own enlistment. however, to go together, jeongguk in much difficulty agreed to go by the age 25. even if taehyung ended up breaking that promise, jeongguk had no compelling reason to expedite his enlistment. he could have easily chosen to go at a later time according to his own wishes. so, what was the underlying reason that drove him to enlist right after taehyung? it was something that taehyung knew he would never consider doing.

it just didn't make sense.

"taehyung? you okay?" namjoon asked and taehyung snapped out of his thoughts as he looked at them, still in shock.

"he didn't tell you? i thought you two talked?" hoseok's questions felt really personal even if they shouldn't. everyone knew how close they both were, of course they talked throughout these two years didn't they? they could use phone after a few months during military so how on earth taehyung wouldn't know such a big news right? but they didn't know about the fight taehyung and jeongguk had. they didn't know the invisible distance that had created between them.

now taehyung was scared.

did he end up losing the friendship he was so desperately trying to save?

"uh i'm getting late for classes. i'll see you guys later" taehyung awkwardly smiled before walking away.

namjoon and hoseok looked at each other, confused. "is the world ending?"

a month passed by. taehyung didn't see jeongguk nor he heard from him. it seemed as though the boy had disappeared from his life.

there were nights taehyung's fingers hovered over the keyboard, writing sentences like "where are you?" "are you still mad?" "why didn't you tell me?" "jeongguk please call me" "i miss you" but taehyung never sent them.

he would silently cry while staring at the picture of jeongguk and him together, smiling. taehyung would silently hurt and he wished to just see jeongguk once. to know if the boy was okay and if he was really mad at him.

but then one random day at university,

taehyung saw jeongguk.

as he walked in the campus, taehyung saw jeongguk standing by the building's entrance. earphones plugged in his ear as he stared up at the sky.

taehyung was taken aback, his eyes widening in surprise. his heart began to race, thumping loudly in his chest, as he found himself at a loss for what to do in that moment. all he could do was fixate his gaze on the very same boy who had been the source of his tears during countless nights of anguish. jeongguk now stood directly in front of him, and taehyung felt as though his feet were rooted to the spot, unable to move an inch.

but then,

jeongguk's eyes met his.

eyes locked and taehyung felt his heart skip a beat.

jeongguk was not unfamiliar to taehyung, but at this moment, he appeared completely transformed.

his physique had undergone a remarkable change, with muscles that seemed to have multiplied and an overall more masculine appearance. gone was the long hair that taehyung had last seen, and the once prominent lip piercing was no longer present.

however, despite these alterations, there was an undeniable familiarity that remained when he smiled at taehyung.

jeongguk fucking smiled.

taehyung's lips cracked into a small smile as well.

he took a step towards jeongguk.

but then his steps halted.

taehyung watched as a girl ran upto jeongguk before wrapping her arms around his neck making him bend forward slightly. he watched as jeongguk maintained the eye contact with him while slowly wrapping his arms around her body, returning the hug.

the smile that widely spread on taehyung's lips faded away when they pulled away from the hug and the girl pulled jeongguk close and kissed him on the lips.

and jeongguk fucking kissed back.

the eye contact broke with jeongguk leaning into the kiss. but taehyung didn't dare to look away and watched how passionately jeongguk tilted her head and kissed her, making the girl almost stumble from how intimately he kissed her.

the corners of taehyung's eyes stung with tears and before he knew, a tear rolled down his cheek.

he watched them kiss for awhile before jeongguk pulled back and then he dared to look back at taehyung.

their eyes locked.

this time none smiled.

maybe jeongguk knew what he was doing or maybe not. after all, he didn't know how much it hurt taehyung- not because he watched his best friend kiss someone when they should catch up but because taehyung just watched the one he had feelings for kiss a girl in front of him.

jeongguk had no idea how much it hurt his best friend.

but could taehyung blame him?

when he himself realized how fucked he was. almost two years away from jeongguk but the moment he saw that face, his feelings rushed back inside his heart and he absolutely felt the aching in his heart.

taehyung knew, he was still in love with jeongguk.

he was so fucked.

taehyung visibly tensed when jeongguk said something to the girl and they both looked at him before walking towards him.

it was funny. taehyung wanted to see jeongguk so badly all these days but now when the boy was approaching him, all he wanted to do was run away and never face him again.

soon jeongguk stood in front of him. taehyung looked at him, unsure of what kind of face he was making. maybe one of longing or one of hurt? taehyung didn't know but he felt as though his emotions were reflected on jeongguk who looked at him, hurt. the sadness shimmering in his doe bambi eyes taehyung missed so much this two years.

"hey" jeongguk spoke, softly.

taehyung didn't know what was he supposed to say. he just looked at jeongguk and forgot to speak.

he just looked at the boy he loves so much who unknowingly broke his heart.

he wanted to ask jeongguk why didn't he reach out for him all this time? or why did he not even text him or tell him he enlisted as well? or just ask him if he was still upset? ridiculously he wanted to ask him a stupid question the most.

'why did you kiss her?'

taehyung's intelligence seemed to falter when it came to matters of the heart. he had convinced himself that he had moved on from his feelings, but the mere presence of jeongguk standing in such close proximity to him shattered that illusion.

he knew he was so fucked when his heart raced the same way it did back then when he realized he had fallen for him. it didn't work, taehyung couldn't fix what was wrong.

he still loves jeongguk.

"how have you been?" jeongguk asked again. not having any responses from taehyung made him slightly desperate. it felt as though jeongguk wanted to hear taehyung speak, it had been so long since he heard that voice.

but taehyung just couldn't speak.

after a brief pause, taehyung slowly nodded his head, his gaze then shifting downwards to where jeongguk's hand was intertwined with the girl's. the sight of their intertwined hands caused a pang in taehyung's eyes, prompting him to quickly avert his gaze.

being silent any longer would expose something taehyung desperately wanted to hide so he forced himself to speak.

"hey jeongguk" taehyung uttered with a smile that was clearly strained, his lips trembling slightly as if on the verge of breaking down into tears.

jeongguk? the said male was caught off guard by the sudden use of his name. taehyung barely ever called him jeongguk so hearing it the first thing out of taehyung's mouth made him feel sort of weird, bad kind of weird.

"i've been very well. what about you?" taehyung acted completely normal. not letting any kind of emotion show on his face except that forced smile.

jeongguk frowned slightly, "alright i guess."

"is this taehyung?" this time the girl spoke and taehyung looked at her finally. slightly flattered by her beauty. she was beautiful, so beautiful that taehyung's heart ached again.

she was definitely jeongguk's type.

it wasn't like taehyung ever knew what was jeongguk's type but seeing such a beautiful girl, he could tell it was her. and he hated to admit, they looked good together. their hands locked and standing so close- they looked the perfect couple.

taehyung looked back at jeongguk who was already staring at him, eyes focused on him so intensely that taehyung tensed up, worried if jeongguk looked through his facade.

"yeah. it's taehyung" jeongguk replied to the girl while still staring at taehyung.

why are you looking at me like i've committed a crime? taehyung wanted to ask that. because jeongguk's gaze was so intense. he could see the same heartbreaking look on his face he saw last time. but wasn't taehyung supposed to feel that way? jeongguk was the one who broke his heart so why was he being stared like that?

"oh, hi taehyung! so nice to finally meet you. jeongguk talks a lot about you!" the girl enthusiastically smiled and stretched her hand out. "i'm mira. jeongguk's girlfriend"

taehyung knew it. but hearing it from her mouth directly left him feeling numb in pain. is this how it feels when your heart is broken? taehyung didn't want to know.

he looked at the stretched out hand, then at jeongguk who just stared at him. hesitantly he took the hand and smiled at mira. "i'm taehyung... jeongguk's friend"

"best friend." taehyung looked at jeongguk who clenched his jaw, "you're my best friend"

with a bitter smile, taehyung nodded. "oh sorry, best friend yeah"

their eyes locked again in a silent fight. both raging with something they couldn't figure and mira glanced at them, puzzled. anyone could feel the awkwardness between them.

the urge to leave was getting stronger with how jeongguk looked at taehyung as if he had really done a crime. taehyung didn't want to look at that face he longed for so much, right now anymore, he didn't know if he could go any longer without bursting out in tears and at that exact time jeongguk asked something that made both him and mira look at jeongguk rather shocked.

"how do you feel tae? how do you feel now that i'm someone else's?"

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