✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"yes, kiss"

it was barely more than a whisper but it ignited a fire within taehyung. he was used to jeongguk's flirting, his extreme physical closeness that sometimes bordered on more than just friendship, his double entendres that he always meant in a platonic way, his possessiveness, his territorial behavior-taehyung had done a rather impressive job of bearing them all.

so why now he was hesitating? why without saying anything, he was shamelessly staring at jeongguk's lips? unable to look away, his wide sparkling eyes shifted incessantly between jeongguk's gaze and his tempting lips.

on the other hand, jeongguk was indifferent to what he just said. kiss, he said he wanted a kiss, now how he was so calm about it only he knew.

and unlike taehyung, jeongguk didn't glance between taehyung's lips and eyes.

because his eyes were entirely fixed on taehyung's lips alone.

his eyes dilated, hungry even if someone had to describe the look in his eyes. without any shame jeongguk gazed at taehyung's pretty heart shaped lips, pink- too much pink, plush and full.

jeongguk gulped, thick and hard. his lips now parted, trying to breathe while just staring at those lips. his body complied him to come closer to taehyung who was a nervous mess upon noticing how intensely jeongguk was staring at his lips. his cheeks flushed red, battling the urge to moisten his lips, not wanting to draw further attention to them.

as jeongguk inched closer, their knuckles and knees brushed against each other. again, taehyung could do many things; he could stand up, back away, laugh, cry, shout- there was so much to do but taehyung decided to just sit there and watch jeongguk get impossibly close.

with each passing second, jeongguk dragged his body closer and taehyung was sure his heart was doing cartwheels in its cage. he has had his face squished with jeongguk's, has nudged their noses together when they were just kids, has nuzzled his face against jeongguk's while cuddling, they have been fairly close in the past. but this time it was different, there was a look in jeongguk's eyes and the way he stared at his lips that makes this time different.

they both stared at each other's lips and just breathed through the gap between them. the tension is heavy.

jeongguk was close enough since their knees were aligned, all he could do now to get even closer was to lean in and you know, kiss. that's the only thing left.

maybe jeongguk had momentarily lost his mind, because he found himself slowly leaning his face towards taehyung's, eventually closing the gap between them.

and just then taehyung realized in what a situation they were in.

a nervous, forced laugh escaped taehyung's lips before he looked away, breaking jeongguk's hungry gaze on him and finally causing him to blink- once, twice and then a third time, as if coming back to reality.

jeongguk looked somewhere else and covered his mouth with his palm. what the fuck was i going to do? his inner conflict was probably visible on his face from the way he was blushing down his neck.

on the other hand, taehyung was no exceptional. he was so red, he didn't even know how to look back at jeongguk without making himself look stupid which he well, already did. why did i laugh like that and look away? shit, it's so embarrassing.

both facing other ways had to look back at each other sooner or later. jeongguk was the first to do so, his face still red and eyes filled with nervousness to meet the other. from the corner of his eye, taehyung noticed jeongguk's gaze returning to him, prompting him to reluctantly turn and meet the male's eyes once more as well.

now this was awkward.

two best friends were about to kiss. and why? they have no idea. or maybe it was all in their head. taehyung thought maybe jeongguk was just teasing him like other times while jeongguk thought taehyung probably was weirded out by his sudden action.

ironically, they didn't think the other one wanted to kiss. which makes it more awkward.

"y-you never change. stop teasing me" taehyung said first, finding it hard to not look away when jeongguk was back at staring at him, however this time it was a shy gaze.

jeongguk was actually blushing.

his teasing, god i almost fell for it. taehyung sighed internally.

jeongguk coughed and smacked his lips together. a sheepish grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, the same lips he had been nervously licking and biting moments ago. that was a close call.

"y-yeah, got you right there-again" jeongguk stammered, licking his lips nervously as he glanced subtly at taehyung's.

"be honest, you wanted to kiss me, didn't you?" he added, a hint of playful curiosity in his voice.

taehyung's cheeks flushed even deeper and to conceal his embarrassment, he grabbed a nearby pillow and began hitting jeongguk with it repeatedly, "i said stop teasing me asshole!"

jeongguk burst into laughter, the tension from before dissipating as he guarded his head with his hands, "ouhh! sorry, it'll happen again!"

"seriously!" taehyung laughed out loud, hitting jeongguk with the pillow nonstop. their giggles filled the silent apartment.

when they were supposed to be asleep, away from each other, distant, cold, akin to strangers- thankfully they weren't. their laughter and playfulness bridged the gap, reminding them that no matter what, they were still the closest of friends.

"kiss me honey~" jeongguk puckered his lips, tapping them with his finger.

"you... come here!" jeongguk ran around the small apartment with taehyung chasing him with the pillow. giggling, teasing, taehyung hitting jeongguk with the pillow, laughing, then some more hitting.

jeongguk got tired pretty fast though. as he was still recovering from the previous fever, he was worn out quick enough. plopping on the bed, he scooted to the side, making space for taehyung.

the laughter faded from taehyung as he tilted his head, "what are you doing?"

"sleep?" jeongguk said as if it wasn't obvious.

"here?" taehyung controlled himself from freaking out.

"yeah? i mean can't i?" jeongguk gave his puppy eyes while rubbing his face on the pillow with pouty lips.

well, taehyung couldn't say no to that face. especially knowing jeongguk was sick and bruised even. besides, it was very late and sending him away now would just be cruel.

"ah, no worries" taehyung replied, scratching his head as he placed the pillow he had been holding onto the floor. "i'll sleep on the floor."

taehyung watched as jeongguk suddenly sat upright and reached out, grabbing him by the collar and effortlessly throwing him onto the bed. before taehyung could react, jeongguk retrieved the pillow from the floor and placed it behind his head. taehyung blinked in surprise as jeongguk settled down beside him, now facing him with a fierce gaze.

"what? small bed? fuck it. throw your body on me in sleep, i won't mind. actually we both know how many times you've done that already. but there's no way i'm letting you sleep on the floor"

taehyung just stared at him.

"are we clear?"

taehyung nodded in a daze.

"good. now sleep" jeongguk smiled dimly as he settled onto his back, closing his eyes.

taehyung kept staring as if he was spelt into doing so.

"you missed my face, didn't you?" jeongguk said, his eyes still closed.

taehyung became aware that he had been staring all along. he followed suit, lying on his back and shifting his gaze to the ceiling, "no, i didn't"

"ouch" jeongguk chuckled. "but i did"

"then why aren't you looking at me?" taehyung's voice barely above a whisper escaped him unknowingly. guess he's a little weird at night, especially if his love of life is sleeping beside him.

"because i'm afraid if i start staring, i won't be able to stop."

taehyung's cheeks flushed yet again. he turned to the other side, his heart racing and fists clenched. jeongguk was a shameless man, never afraid to speak his mind but taehyung liked that about him. after all, it was one of the many qualities that made him fall in love with jeongguk.

"goodnight, gguk"

"goodnight, tae"

despite knowing he had university and an exam the next day, taehyung found himself unable to sleep. instead, here he was, awake. his gaze fixed on jeongguk's peaceful sleeping face, he just couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight.

his finger traced jeongguk cheekbone, eyelashes and nose. he traced them ever so lightly, his fingertip barely touching the skin. that was intentional though, he didn't want to wake jeongguk up. what will he tell the male if he wakes up and sees him staring at him like a creep instead of sleeping?

as the sun began to rise, its golden rays filtered through the edges of the curtains. casting a soft, warm glow over jeongguk's face, gently illuminating some parts of his features as the boy slept peacefully.

"yes, kiss" jeongguk's words rang in his head. he knew the male didn't mean them, he was just teasing him. jeongguk was too good at that damn teasing, but blame taehyung for falling for this same teaser again and again.

only if jeongguk meant kissing him. taehyung would lose himself finally and wrap his arms around jeongguk's nape and kiss him so hard, that they'd be out of breath. but taehyung won't stop even then, he would kiss jeongguk like his life depended on it- because that's all taehyung wants, that's all he has ever dreamt of doing.

jeongguk just had to say it truthfully, say it like he means it.

but taehyung knows, he never will.

because jeongguk doesn't want it.

but he does. he wants to kiss jeongguk so bad that it hurts.

taehyung gazed lingered on jeongguk's lips, the bruise stinging his eyes. whoever punched jeongguk, wish taehyung could punch them back. how dare they hurt his jeongguk?

his eyebrows creased together. what was he doing? he should sleep. but those pink lips parted slightly showing those bunny teeth had him in a grip. taehyung smiled to himself as his eyes trailed on the mole under the lips. something in him was dangerously excited, it was practically burning him up.

so without thinking much,

taehyung leaned down and pressed their lips together.

for a second, he took in that warmth, that softness of those lips he knows he can never have to himself.

before he pulled back, almost at the speed of light.

his eyes were wide, breath ragged and heart beating like crazy. he touched his lips with his fingers and then stared down at jeongguk's lips, the lips he just kissed.

the corners of his eyes stung with tears. he stood up and rushed to the bathroom, closing the door behind him, he slid against it before dropping on the floor. covering his mouth with his trembling hand, taehyung closed his eyes and started crying.

so pathetic, kim taehyung. he shook his head, crying like never.

there it was, his first kiss, gone to someone who was not even awake, someone who wouldn't even want it.

𖥻𖥻𖥻

as jeongguk stirred from his sleep, he was greeted by the sound of constant movements in the room. grunting softly, he slowly opened his eyes, only to find taehyung busily stuffing his notebook and laptop into his bag.

"oh, you're leaving?" jeongguk sat up, rubbing his eyes.

taehyung paused mid-motion, his gaze flickering nervously to jeongguk, who had pouted lips while rubbing his eyes. feeling a lump form in his throat, taehyung quickly averted his eyes, focusing on zipping his bag before slinging it over his shoulder. "yeah, i have an exam. are you going to uni today?"

"i guess so. i'll be there in an hour"

"okay, see you then" taehyung gave a tight-lipped smile.

he didn't want to act awkward to make jeongguk suspicious. he had done enough of that.

"see you" jeongguk yawned, watching taehyung leave in a rush. he checked his phone and saw mira's text.

a sigh left his lips, he stared at the screen, not wanting to open the text. i'll reply her later... he thought to himself while getting down from the bed.

𖥻𖥻𖥻

"i think i totally flunked the exam," jimin whined, resting his head on taehyung's shoulder, his frustration evident as he flapped his legs on the ground. taehyung chuckled, taking a sip of his cold drink before patting jimin's head.

"well, maybe next time don't start studying at the last minute?"

"ugh you don't understand tae! now i won't be getting the reward" jimin sulked.

"oh that's what you're sad for" taehyung sneered, remembering yoongi did tell jimin there was a reward if he did well in exams. well, he certainly had no interest in knowing what kind of reward.

he on the other hand, has done pretty well, even though he was quite tired from staying awake last night. taehyung was afraid he was going to forget whatever he studied since all he could think of was the kiss he gave to a sleeping jeongguk.

it felt so wrong. he kissed someone who wasn't even aware and he didn't know how to look at jeongguk now without glancing at his lips and remember how he lost control and gave away his first kiss to his homophobic best friend.

it was messed up.

"the last question was easy though- hey tae, you listening?" jimin sat upright and peered at taehyung who blinked and looked back at him, "huh?"

"what got you thinking so hard?"

"oh nothing much-"

his words trailed off as he spotted jeongguk emerging from the building. their eyes locked from a distance and as if on cue, jeongguk began walking toward him. taehyung felt a surge of nervousness wash over him but this time, he had no intention of avoiding jeongguk, for it didn't end well last time.

"i was looking for you" jeongguk stuffed his hands inside his pants pocket, glancing at jimin who practically was glaring at him. why he was, jeongguk had no idea plus interest in knowing. "let's go"

"if you are not blind, you can see that we are having a conversation right now" jimin interjected, his tone edged with annoyance as he scooted closer to taehyung, who felt himself breaking into a sweat. i swear if they start fighting-

"oh" jeongguk poked the inside of his cheek, nodding in acknowledgement. "my bad. you two can finish your conversation, i'll wait" jeongguk gave an awfully sweet smile before sitting beside taehyung. there was not much space left so he practically squeezed himself into the little space beside the male.

the bench wasn't spacious enough for three grown men so it promptly became cramped. taehyung found himself sandwiched between jeongguk and jimin, an awkward smile plastered on his face as he glanced back and forth between them. jeongguk and jimin were practically glaring at each other, leaving taehyung stuck in the middle of their glaring contest.

"tell your mini friend over there to scoot over, he's taking up all the space" jeongguk muttered, spreading his legs to make it more cramped.

jimin gritted his teeth and looked at taehyung, "your hulk of a friend is basically squeezing us, tell him to go sit somewhere else"

taehyung was pressed like a sandwich between the two males who were glaring at each other while pushing their bodies against him who lowered his head and clenched his fists, trying to keep his anger at bay.

"tell that shortie, this is a public bench. i can sit anywhere i want"

"tell that hulk, his ass is not appreciated here"

"tell-"

"oh my god!" taehyung stood up abruptly, catching jeongguk and jimin off guard as they lost their balance, having been leaning against him. their heads bumped together and they both let out a yelp.

taehyung turned to glare at them but couldn't help but giggle seeing them rubbing their heads from being bumped.

"i'm hurt and you're laughing?" jeongguk frowned, sitting upright while still rubbing his head.

"god, what is this bastard's skull made of?" jimin grimaced, rubbing his head.

"did you just call me a bastard?" jeongguk turned to glare at jimin and before jimin could reply with a yes, taehyung grabbed jeongguk's hand and pulled him up, making him stand behind him.

"i'm sorry jiminie. i'll give you my notes so study hard for the next exam, okay? i'll see you later" taehyung was trying to calm jimin down but the male was still furious because of jeongguk who stood behind taehyung and showed him his middle finger.

jimin was about to stand up when taehyung said a quick bye and grabbed jeongguk's wrist, dragging him out of there.

jimin stood up, looking in disbelief as jeongguk turned to look at him while walking away with taehyung, a smirk on his lips.

"ah really, this bastard!" jimin stomped his foot on the ground from anger and frustration.

"that was rude, gguk" taehyung threw the can in his hand in the dustbin and looked at jeongguk, folding his arms over his chest.

"what rude? i didn't say anything to that shortie" jeongguk rolled his eyes, kicking a stone close to his foot.

taehyung sighed. there was no point in saying anything. jeongguk had already made a terrible impression of himself on jimin and yoongi both. he couldn't envision jeongguk redeeming himself in their eyes in the near future- it seemed nearly impossible.

because firstly, jeongguk is naturally a cold person, he doesn't care what others think of him because he simply doesn't want to associate with anyone so their opinion of him doesn't matter. secondly, he clearly didn't like yoongi and jimin, so telling him to not be rude was of no use. if jeongguk doesn't like someone, it's shown on his face very visibly.

but taehyung can't help the disappointment. jeongguk after all said he won't mind his friends or his sexuality anymore. it was difficult to trust those words completely, especially considering jeongguk's recent behavior.

perhaps he had only said them in the heat of the moment to defuse the tension. taehyung wasn't going to date anyone when he was still so much in love with jeongguk. so it was hard to know whether jeongguk would truly be accepting of his choices in the future or not.

"yeah, whatever. let's go eat, i'm starving" taehyung dismissed, pulling on jeongguk's arm.

jeongguk's scowl melted away, replaced by a genuine smile as he nodded, allowing taehyung to drag him along. this was what he had missed- the simple joy of being with taehyung without constantly worrying about what the other thought of him. to be carefree, happy and to be each other's sole focus- this is what jeongguk longed for. no matter where life took them, he wanted to be by taehyung's side, always.

all of a sudden, as they were exiting the gates, someone called out for jeongguk from behind.

both turned around to find mira, rushing towards them.

"jeongguk! god, i've been looking for you everywhere!" mira huffed out, catching her breath.

jeongguk tensed, realizing he had forgotten to check her texts. "uhm... you were looking for me?"

"yes! you were not picking up my calls so i came here to look for you"

jeongguk brought out his phone and noticed it was on do not disturb mode. he facepalmed and let out a sigh. "sorry, i was in class so i turned my phone on dnd"

mira contemplated if she should scold him for that but again, it was not intentional so what's the point of stretching the matter.

her eyes then fell on taehyung, a smile crept on her lips as she spoke, "oh hi taehyung"

"hey" taehyung gave a small smile.

"did you guys patch up?" taehyung glanced at jeongguk in confusion before asking her, "patch up?"

"jeo-"

"you said you were looking for me? why?" jeongguk interrupted, standing between taehyung and mira to gain her attention. taehyung didn't need to know he had become vulnerable to the point he went to mira and told her what was going in between them. he didn't want to appear any more weaker and a coward to taehyung than he did already.

"nothing, just wanted to see you"

"uhm jeongguk you should go with mira. i'll go home" taehyung suggested. he was already feeling awkward and he didn't even know why. it felt as though he was doing a crime taking jeongguk away from mira. after all, she was his girlfriend and she naturally had more rights over him than he did. accepting this fact was difficult for taehyung but he was trying his best nonetheless.

"why would you go home? we are going to eat now and that's exactly what we will do" jeongguk said firmly and taehyung had nothing to say to that. mira's smile faltered as she looked down at how strongly jeongguk grabbed taehyung's hand, no intention of letting the boy go.

jeongguk then looked at mira, "do you wanna join us?"

"oh can i?" jeongguk nodded. "sure then. i'm kinda hungry from all the walking" mira beamed, linking her arm with jeongguk's. at the same moment, taehyung instinctively pulled his hand out of jeongguk's grasp, avoiding his gaze when the male looked at him. for some reason, taehyung appeared upset.

before jeongguk could ask him anything taehyung started walking.

they went to the local restaurant close to the university. jeongguk and mira sitting together and taehyung sitting opposite them. even though jeongguk wanted to sit beside taehyung, mira was quick enough to take the seat beside him. taehyung had glanced at jeongguk then slowly sat down; face to face but away from his best friend.

strange. taehyung had initially been so hungry, even mentally preparing a list of all the things he wanted to eat. yet now, as they were ordering, his appetite seemed to have disappeared entirely. instead, he found himself distracted, his hunger dissipating as he observed the scene in front of him. mira clinging to jeongguk, asking him what he wanted to eat but jeongguk dismissed all her suggestions, instead focusing on the menu himself. they sat so close, their arms linked and the way mira often rested her head on jeongguk's shoulder made taehyung feel increasingly uncomfortable- he wanted to leave.

after the waiter went away with their orders. jeongguk again focused on taehyung, noticing the lack of enthusiasm on his face. he tapped taehyung's hand that was over the table making the male look at him.

"do you not like this place? want to go somewhere else?"

"ah no no. i guess i'm just tired" taehyung gave a half hearted smile and jeongguk felt himself frowning. taehyung's sudden quietness puzzled him- just moments ago, he had been excited about eating so why the sudden change? something felt off.

the food came soon enough so taehyung was spared from jeongguk's burning gaze as they focused on eating.

"ggukie, say ah" mira picked up a piece of meat with her chopsticks and held it out for jeongguk to eat. he glanced at it before hesitantly accepting it into his mouth.

"good?" she tilted her head, watching jeongguk eat with a fond smile on her face.

"mhm" jeongguk nodded, his eyebrows knitted together making him look angry.

"are you sure? you look pissed..."

"jeongguk looks kinda angry while eating if the food is good" taehyung informed.

"oh i didn't know that. wait-" mira was surprised to know the fact. but then something clicked, "yesterday you didn't look angry while eating the food i made. does that mean you didn't like it?" mira asked, folding her arms over her chest.

jeongguk swallowed and pressed his lips in a thin line, looking anywhere but at her. taehyung fixed his gaze down and held back his laugh.

mira glanced at the two boys before puffing her cheeks from anger. "i'm never cooking for you again"

"thank god" jeongguk mumbled.

"what did you just say?" mira glared at jeongguk who coughed. "nothing"

mira put down her chopsticks and just sat there. jeongguk glanced at her and continued eating, "what's wrong?"

"i'm not eating-"

"you full?"

"-until you give me a kiss" upon hearing that both taehyung and jeongguk coughed before looking at mira.

"what?"

"oh can't you?" mira looked at him, defeated. she was upset that jeongguk didn't like her cooking and maybe it was childish but she just suddenly wanted it.

deep down, mira knew she was feeling insecure.

jeongguk's attention seemed solely focused on taehyung, urging him to eat up and even cutting his meat into bite-sized pieces so he could easily consume them, all the while barely sparing a glance in her direction.

on the other hand, taehyung also knew so much about jeongguk. what expressions he makes while eating, what food he doesn't like, even giving him the carrots from his plate because apparently jeongguk likes them- mira felt as though she was third wheeling. and again, it was childish but if she wants a kiss from her boyfriend, can't she have it?

"i'm eating you can see"

"it's just a kiss. yesterday when you were kissing me that roughly i wasn't complaining, was i?"

taehyung's ears perked up at mira's words, causing the chopstick he was holding to slip from his grasp and clatter onto the floor. the sudden noise drew their attention to him. jeongguk tensed, his gaze locking with taehyung's but it was taehyung who looked away first, quickly bending down to retrieve the chopsticks.

meanwhile jeongguk averted his gaze to mira, whispering to her with a slightly annoyed face, "did you have to say that?"

"what did i say so wrong? we are dating, i can kiss you, you can kiss me. what's wrong in that?"

taehyung heard it all while picking up the chopsticks and he wished he could just leave. suddenly the burning in his chest was back and the words mira said just kept ringing in his ear. can't live without me? what a joke. taehyung thought bitterly. so before jeongguk came to him in that state, he had actually been at mira's place, kissing her roughly? and perhaps doing more than just kissing- never mind, taehyung didn't want to know.

nevertheless, he felt like a fool, realizing that he had been under the impression that jeongguk was miserable without him all this time, only to discover that he had been with mira. but why wouldn't he be? they were indeed dating and it wasn't wrong. so why the hell was taehyung on the edge of breaking down?

as he sat upright and continued eating, he didn't once glance at jeongguk. he could feel jeongguk's gaze burning holes into him but he refused to meet it. instead, he focused on finishing his food quickly. staying there any longer was becoming unbearable. it was downright suffocating.

to know he gave his first kiss to someone whose lips were taken by someone else hit taehyung like a ton of bricks. it was so fucked up that taehyung felt a lump form in his throat, making it hard to swallow the food.

"tell me is it wrong-"

jeongguk looked at mira, blankly. this time he didn't even appear furious or annoyed but that look alone was enough to shut mira up.

for taehyung, the urge to get out of there was strong and just then his phone buzzed with a notification.

doohyun hyung:
hey, i think you forgot your student id in my car. when can i return it to you? ^_^

taehyung was looking for it everywhere this morning. thank god, doohyun found it. more thankful because now he has a reason to leave.

taehyung:
oh yes i probably left it accidentally. if you don't mind, do you want to meet up now and return it?

doohyun hyung:
sure!! :D

taehyung:
thanks! i'll text you the place.

taehyung was unaware that a faint smile had formed on his lips at the chance of leaving, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice jeongguk's intense gaze fixed on him. the chopsticks in jeongguk's fingers clenched tightly, his eyes piercing on taehyung who finally looked back at him.

"sorry guys, i have to go"

"okay" jeongguk said even though that was not what he wanted to say. all this time, he could see the discomfort on taehyung's face so maybe this was for the better.

not gonna tell me to stay now huh? taehyung kept his eyes on jeongguk while standing up. of course why would he? he has mira with him now. it was foolish of taehyung to think that he was the only special person in jeongguk's life.

after he left, jeongguk didn't think he would be seeing taehyung soon later that night.

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