✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

blood.

a whole lot of blood.

the guy's white t-shirt was painted in blood, his nose was oozing out blood, busted lip drenched in blood- jeongguk's fist was covered in blood.

the sight is sickening.

"say that again motherfucker" a low growl left jeongguk's lips which were curled in a menacing smirk. "you had no problem running your gutter of a mouth just a while ago"

see believe it or not, jeongguk isn't a monster. he usually never gets into fights and even if someone provokes him, one glare from him mostly if not always, resolves it. he likes to keep his fists clean because blood is gross and so is the smell and jeongguk knows for a fact, if he ever gets into a fight, he's bound to get his fists dirty with blood so he simply avoids it. however, if someone mentions the name kim taehyung, that too in a bad way...

jeongguk loses it. every single time.

so could it be really his fault this nobody uttered his taehyung's name— that too in the most disgusting way? could jeongguk really not paint his fists red after hearing this guy whom he had been beating nonstop for the last couple of minutes say that his best friend, his taehyung looked like a girl? if that wasn't enough, this fucker had the audacity to call taehyung gay.

like how fucking dare he.

kim taehyung is just beautiful, he's feminine yet masculine in a pretty way. jeongguk has called taehyung pretty numerous times and he will always, because taehyung is pretty. but being pretty doesn't make taehyung a girl, or worse gay. that was absolutely a wrong thing to say, especially when jeongguk happened to pass by the alley situated near the university.

smoking while chatting with his equally no good to use friends, saying shits about taehyung while he was passing by— luck was just not by this guy's side. his friends were spineless bastards, the moment jeongguk slammed the guy against the wall and punched him hard across the jaw, they ran away. their nature tells a lot about why they talked about taehyung.

the low lives always need to talk about others to be relevant because this kind of guys? jeongguk won't even spare them a glance. but right now, all his attention is on the guy squirming in pain underneath him, all bloody - all gross.

"c-chill out okay? what's it to y-you i called him gay?! i'm not calling you that!"

jeongguk's eyes darkened as he tightly gripped the guy's jaw, causing him to scream in pain. the guy desperately clutched onto jeongguk's hand in an attempt to push it away, but he was no match for jeongguk. his disheveled state served as evidence.

pulling the guy closer by his jaw, jeongguk looked into his fearful eyes. "say anything to me, i might not bother. but talking bullshit about taehyung? what a fucking wrong move"

jeongguk raised his fist and the guy's eyes widened, one busted with a huge purple bruise. "y-you are crazy... all that for a dude?"

"that's kim taehyung. he's not a random dude, motherfucker"

the next punch blacked out the guy.

jeongguk stood up and dusted off his pants, looking at his bloodied hands and cringed. bringing out a handkerchief he wiped them before throwing the used cloth on the guy's body that leaned against the dirty wall. giving one dirty look at the unconscious figure, jeongguk rolled his eyes and walked away.

"gay and kim taehyung? pfft as if"

jeongguk has always had a possessive nature when it comes to kim taehyung. this possessiveness dates back to when they were mere infants, where even their parents were taken aback by jeongguk's tight grip on taehyung's finger, refusing to let go until he fell asleep.

as they entered kindergarten, their bond only grew stronger as they held hands and played together, rarely leaving each other's side. whenever another child attempted to join in on their fun, jeongguk would react with tears or even resort to physical aggression, causing taehyung to mirror his friend's distress and cry with him while hugging him. this pattern of attachment persisted throughout their junior, middle, and high school years, with them attached to hips- inseparable.

people often say that years of friendship don't last long and eventually break apart. however, this wasn't the case for them. after graduating from the same high school, they both managed to get into the same university. taehyung, wanting some time apart from jeongguk, tried to protest against him enrolling in the same university. however, jeongguk was stubborn as fuck and insisted on joining him. this led to a small fight between them, with taehyung arguing that they should pursue their careers separately and then despite agreeing to follow their own paths, jeongguk surprisingly ended up at the same university as taehyung. when taehyung confronted him about it, jeongguk casually shrugged and claimed it was merely a coincidence that he also wanted to attend the exact same university.

taehyung hadn't bought that crap. jeongguk wasn't even serious about his career, he knew he would be taking over his parent's company so he wanted to study just anything and get over with it. yet when he heard taehyung was aiming for one of the top universities in seoul- the one it's hard as fuck to get into, he also studied his ass off and naturally being a good student, he was accepted. taehyung didn't understand why would jeongguk go that far to be with him.

he was just a childhood friend.

nothing more than that.

when jeongguk reached the classroom, he was met with namjoon and hoseok chatting by the door. giving them a side eye he walked in while scowling, "do you have to stand by the damn door, morons?"

"hey, man! rude as ever aren't you?" hoseok laughed, not taking jeongguk's words seriously. if they started taking his words seriously, they wouldn't be friends anymore. it was still surprising how they were friends with jeongguk- the popular rude boy who has no hesitation saying what he has in his mind to people, no matter how mean it can be.

"yeah, a good morning would be better you know" namjoon sipped on his coffee as they walked alongside jeongguk who sighed, not replying anymore as he sat down on his seat, the two boys following him and sitting on either side of him. they always sit together and even though jeongguk sometimes gets annoyed by their loud asses, he has mostly given up on shutting them up because it's a lot of work.

paying them no attention, jeongguk fished out his phone, eyes on the screen as eventually a frown curled his lips.

"no messages from taehyungie?" hoseok teased, peeking at the phone but really, they don't have to. it's obvious jeongguk brings out his phone just to see if his  best friend, kim taehyung has texted him or not.

"don't fucking call him that" jeongguk glared at hoseok who put his hands up in surrender.

"chill out dude, you seem extra pissed today. anything happened?" namjoon could sense something off about jeongguk's behavior. it's not like jeongguk is particularly nice or soft spoken but he never really bothers being this mean either. he usually just takes their bullshit or might even catch himself slipping into joining them on their shitchats. but today the moment jeongguk walked in, there has been something off about him. he looked pissed— mad pissed. not getting a text from taehyung alone can't be the reason.

jeongguk sighed and put down his phone, "nothing alright? i'm okay. don't worry"

"you don't sound oka- the fuck is that on your shirt dude?" hoseok widened his eyes while pointing at the side of jeongguk's grey t-shirt. due to its color, the small drops of blood splattered on his shirt had gone unnoticed by people but again, his friends were too loud and noticed just too much.

jeongguk looked down and noticed the blood, he got even more pissed as he rolled his eyes, "that son of a bitch"

"who are you talking about? and how did you get blood on you? wait is it even yours-" namjoon was interrupted in the middle as jeongguk got up and took his bag to leave. taehyung was nowhere to be seen and now he was feeling extremely disgusted by the blood on his t-shirt, prompting him to go home and have a long, hot shower.

while he walked off he smirked at the shocked boys.

"not mine"

╍╍╍╍╍╍╍

ever since taehyung didn't respond to any of jeongguk's texts or phone calls, his mind has become a mess. this situation was causing worry for the male.

even though taehyung occasionally ignores him during his exam periods, claiming that he is too distracting, jeongguk is aware that taehyung is not currently taking any exams. so what could be occupying his time to the point where he can't even reply to jeongguk's messages?

after taking that long hot shower, he was lying on his bed in just boxers. staring at the screen, texts from many people he didn't bother even glancing at.

taehyung hadn't replied yet and it's been almost six hours.

jeongguk clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he stared at the screen, observing the peculiar cartoon picture on taehyung's kakaotalk profile. he never understood why taehyung refrained from using any form of social media or at least his own pictures as his profile icon. taehyung is incredibly attractive, and just one picture of him on instagram could easily attract thousands of followers.

however, jeongguk was grateful that he didn't, as he didn't want anyone to look at taehyung. the mere thought of people crushing on taehyung's pictures caused a strange sensation in his stomach. it was an unpleasant feeling.

he was the same as taehyung. jeongguk never posts his pictures and has his dog's picture as his profile picture. he doesn't want the attention, moreover, one time in high school, he posted a picture of him with taehyung and people were going crazy in his comment section, on him yes but mostly about taehyung. asking what's his account and who he was.

that irked jeongguk to the point, that he ended up deleting his instagram account and never opening one again. it was better, he didn't like that app anyway. taehyung had a secret account but he mostly posted random pictures of nature or his dog, yeontan. jeongguk had allowed it, might sound weird but if jeongguk was against it, taehyung was bound to delete his account sooner or later.

jeongguk is just that annoying and territorial.

after staring at the screen and clicking his tongue for about a minute, jeongguk became frustrated. he sat up, tousled his slightly damp hair and proceeded to put on the grey sweatpants. he then grabbed a black t-shirt and threw it on while glancing at his phone. he couldn't understand why he felt so restless today, but he truly longed for taehyung.

jeongguk had a family dinner yesterday, therefore he didn't have the opportunity to see or talk to taehyung all day. now, he has a strong desire to meet the boy to express his frustration about the unpleasant family dinner, where his parents harshly criticized him and his brother was absent, making the atmosphere suffocating for him.

taehyung would understand his problems. he always does.

but that wasn't the only reason he wanted to see taehyung. something about him not picking up his calls or texts worried him and the desire to see him just got stronger.

"you got some things to explain, kim taehyung" jeongguk frowned as he took his bike's keys.

one thing jeongguk yet again didn't understand was why taehyung lived in that small studio apartment when he could simply just live with him. his house was just too annoyingly big and his parents were mostly out and distant from him (explains why the family dinner is always so awkward). he envied his older brother who lived alone, something he planned to do after he was done doing his bachelor's. but while he stayed in that house, he wanted taehyung to live with him, saying it gets too lonely there but taehyung never agreed. he drops by often though so jeongguk can't say anything to force the boy since he does that often in other aspects.

parking his bike outside the building, jeongguk climbed the stairs and reached taehyung's flat, knocking on the door. it took a while for taehyung to open the door and when he did, he was met with the sight of an angry jeongguk.

"what are you doing here at this hour?" it was nearly evening, jeongguk should be returning from university but taehyung didn't see his bag with him and that meant he didn't go to university— except the fact jeongguk did and made a mess out of someone's face for him. but taehyung didn't need to know all that.

in fact, taehyung never got to know what happened to people who bullied him during a little period of his school life. they bullied him for a few days and then, avoided him like a plague. taehyung never understood what was the reason behind their sudden avoidance of him whereas they bullied him so badly. now who would tell him, his best friend jeongguk always took care of them without his knowing. again, he doesn't need to know everything.

taehyung grasped onto the door handle firmly and propped himself against it, his gaze fixated on jeongguk. his expression was one of surprise, yet jeongguk detected a hint of nervousness lingering within taehyung's warm, brown eyes as they met his own furious ones.

"why are you not picking up my calls? or at least reply to my texts?"

taehyung licked his lips, glancing around for a split second, not meeting jeongguk's eyes.

he was coming up with a lie. jeongguk knew immediately but he played along.

"my phone's been off the whole day, sorry"

"oh yeah?" jeongguk sneered, his expression filled with disdain, as he took a deliberate step towards taehyung which caused him to release his grip on the door frame, his body instinctively stepping back to create a physical distance between them. but not only did jeongguk enter inside but also hovered over taehyung making the boy more nervous than he was, trying his best to not look away.

"there must be a reason you're lying. what is it?"

"i'm not lying?" taehyung let out like a question, his tone slightly wavering like he was not sure of that lie he uttered.

taehyung just happened to forget jeongguk can sometimes read him like an open book.

not always though.

because if he did, the insanely strong friendship they shared would crumble down like a house of cards.

"tae, i asked what is it that you're hiding?"

there was something about jeongguk's tone that made it impossible for taehyung to keep looking into those doe bambi eyes any longer. jeongguk was angry yet soft with him, the question a hint that he was actually worried rather upset he didn't pick up his calls or because he lied. he was simply worried for his best friend.

gathering his messy thoughts, taehyung wondered if it was right to tell him the truth. jeongguk would be angry, and might not even let him process with it. but if jeongguk stared at him with that look any longer, he would just spill everything out until there was nothing to hide.

because taehyung is weak for jeongguk. always has been since the moment they realized they care the most for each other— which probably was when they were infant babies. taehyung knew he would do absolutely anything to not see jeongguk in pain and jeongguk would do the same without thinking.

they were all each other's yet not each other's. it was strange, funny even but they treasured their this funny yet insanely strong friendship.

being friends— best friends for so long has made it impossible for them to not know one another. however, taehyung knew that wasn't the case, jeongguk still didn't know a part of him and it was better if he never did either.

so to hide it better, he needed to tell jeongguk why he didn't pick up his calls the whole day. why he lied even when he knew that was of no use.

sighing, taehyung looked into jeongguk's eyes, realizing they were standing a bit too close with jeongguk's forehead occasionally bumping into his, noses so close they might bump any moment and lips? fuck, taehyung didn't want to lower his gaze. that would make things awkward because taehyung never looks at those luscious lips when they are close like this, it would be wrong, it would tempt him and taehyung can't be tempted more than he already was.

looking straight into his eyes, taehyung uttered, "i'm enlisting soon"

the anger and worry dropped from jeongguk's gaze and were replaced with shock as he took a step back and knitted his eyebrows. considering it all a joke— a very bad joke.

"dude that's not funny" jeongguk laughed, trying to ease the awkwardness because he thought maybe he intimidated taehyung, he knew he did that sometimes but taehyung had never said such a bad joke before due to it. it's new and it's uncomfortable to hear.

"because it is not. i'm really enlisting in the military"

"what the fuck?" jeongguk whispered, a kind of horror on his face. he expected anything but that and he still wanted to believe it was a joke.

except it's not.

taehyung looked dead into his eyes, no hint of mischief in them.

in the very next moment, taehyung found himself being slammed against the wall, as jeongguk grabbed both of his arms and clenched them tightly. taehyung groaned and locked eyes with him and this time, he was really taken aback.

jeongguk looked devastated.

but over what?

not seeing taehyung for 18 months?

what was so sad about it?

"you said you won't enlist until you're 25... there's still 3 years left" the way jeongguk's voice trembled worried taehyung. he didn't expect jeongguk to behave this way. he expected him to lash out, curse him or even punch him out of anger.

anything but that— the look of losing someone.

taehyung wasn't disappearing so why jeongguk looked so devastated?

"i... i'm sorry. i just thought it was the right thing to do" taehyung looked away, he couldn't bear the sight of jeongguk slowly breaking down because of his enlistment. this wasn't supposed to be this serious.

"why didn't you tell me?"

now, the question itself was truly sad. however, what was even more heartbreaking was jeongguk looking at taehyung's eyes that didn't meet his with a convincing lie. but jeongguk knew taehyung was never good at lying anyway. he was still like a kid— pure and innocent. so what happened to his pure, innocent best friend who took such a big decision without telling him?

jeongguk felt so betrayed.

he thought he knew everything about taehyung.

but he did not.

he really didn't.

"because i knew you would react like this" lie. taehyung didn't know jeongguk would react so intensely but what else could he say? "i... i needed time to gather my thoughts and then tell you. there are still four days left before i go"

he avoided eye contact because he knew if he looked at jeongguk right now, his lie would be transparent. so he didn't dare to meet those bambi eyes that glistened with something unknown as jeongguk took a step back and then another until he was by the door again.

"you said we would go together... you fucking liar" jeongguk clenched his jaw, staring at taehyung who slowly looked at him, hurt by his words. but so was jeongguk, he was so fucking hurt he didn't know what to do.

"gguk, i'm sorry. i... i don't know what's wrong with me but it needs to be fixed"

taehyung started, the small voice inside his head forbidding him from doing so. the more he explains himself, the more he will spill his true feelings.

but again, taehyung was just so fucking weak for jeongguk and his doe bambi eyes that held the entire universe in them.

"it needs to be fixed as soon as possible. that's why i need to be away from you" jeongguk blinked and taehyung quickly added, "from everything"

"and i know i broke my promise but if i don't fix what that is wrong with me as soon as possible, we both are gonna regret it" taehyung gulped, he decided to not say anything further than this. for sure whatever he was saying was already confusing jeongguk. he didn't want to say something more he would regret later on.

nodding, jeongguk tilted his head and smiled.

"take care and i hope whatever the fuck is wrong with you is fixed within these 18 months. because i want my old best friend back"

with that jeongguk opened the door and shut it behind him, leaving a taehyung who finally let his emotions out as he slid against the wall and dropped to the floor, covering his face with his hands, he hid the tears even from his shadow.

jeongguk wanted him to fix what was wrong with him.

not knowing what he wished for was taehyung to get rid of his feelings for him.

jeongguk didn't know, the reason taehyung was leaving wasn't because he wanted to but because he needed to.

so that he could get rid of these stupid feelings he has for his childhood best friend, jeon jeongguk.

━━━━━━━━

q. how's the first chapter? thoughts so far?

honestly the enlistment topic here hits different after them leaving <\3