Hinata mounts his bike and sets off as fast as he can, pedalling like his life depends on it. Kageyama isn't after him. No one is. He doesn't care, though, he just needs to get away right now. His head hurts, everything hurts really. It wasn't long ago but he can't remember what it's like to not have some part of him hurting.

If it isn't his head then it's his chest. Everytime he thinks about what his own idiocy is doing to his friends and his life...

The pain is unbearable. It's like claws are squeezing his heart to the point where he's not quite dead yet so all he can feel is the unbearable pain as he's dangled by death's door. It sounds extreme but describe it as anything less feel like he's underrating how it feels.

A mental image of Kageyama's face when Hinata yelled at him comes to mind. Hinata shakes his head and pedals faster, squeezing his eyes shut briefly. He doesn't close them for log, focusing on looking forward. He doesn't even know where he's going.

Home. Where else would he go? He has to go home and sort himself out. He needs to figure this out.

It isn't until he crashes into the front gate and flies off his bike that Hinata realises where he is.

He's not at home.

From the floor, he swallows thickly and looks up at the house. It's old and looks run down from the outside, the wooden porch cracked and the paint chipped. The plants have seen far better days. No lights are on and if he were just a passerby, Hinata would think that the place is abandoned. It looks unloved. Hinata thinks it looks like heaven. This is his heaven.

It's been awhile since he's been here. He's not sure when he decides that now is the time to come here but he doesn't regret the decision at all. Hinata breathes in deeply before he pushes himself up off the floor and goes to retrieve his bike. He wheels it around the back of the house and locks it up before he goes back to the front door and unlocks it with his key.

He sends his mum a text before removing his shoes and quietly moving further into house. He curls up on the sofa, holding his legs to his chest and closing his eyes. Hinata ignores his tears as they begin to fall.

"Hinata-kun?" A voice calls from upstairs. "Are you okay? Did you hit your head when you fell off your bike?"

Hinata freezes, not having expected to wake her. Was him falling off the bike really that loud or was she already awake and heard?

"I-I'm fine. Please go back to sleep."

"If you're here, you wish to talk, not to sleep." Footsteps are already making their way down the stairs and Hinata doesn't argue.

"Sorry for waking you, Sato-sama."

"Don't apologise, Hinata-kun. I'll make us tea."

Hinata looks up at the woman as she enters the room, sitting up straight and bowing his head slightly. She doesn't look any different from how Hinata remembers. Her long blonde locks are in their usual bun but a few strands are out of place from where she's just gotten out of bed. Her high cheekbones and full lips stand out more than anything else. She's beautiful and terrifying.

Her expression is neutral, as it is most often, but before she goes to the kitchen she gives him a small smile and says "It's nice to see you again, Hinata-kun."

Just like that, Hinata feels like he's five years old again and that nothing can hurt him while Sato-sama is with him. He feels safe.

When the woman returns, they don't speak. She sits beside Hinata. They drink the tea before Hinata rests against her chest. She strokes his hair until he falls asleep, not asking a single question, just letting him feel safe despite her earlier words about wishing to talk.

When Hinata wakes up, he immediately looks up at the older woman. There's sleep in the corner of her eyes and Hinata smiles a little, glad that he hadn't given her a sleepless night.

"I'm hurting my friends again. But... It's different. I'm not... I'm not like I was before, Sato-sama. I just can't explain to them."

"Explain what, Hinata-kun?" She asks, as calm and collected as ever.

Hinata struggles for a few moments, searching for the words to explain himself before he just sighs and shakes his head.

Giving a little huff, Sato flicks his forehead, ignoring the yelp Hinata gives. "You can't even explain it to yourself, can you?"

Hinata shakes his head almost violently. "Can we do a session?!" He asks, eyes wide and hopeful.

"Don't you have school?"

"I don't care!"

Sato's eyes widen before she sighs and nods. "Fine."

*

Kageyama screwed up. Badly. All last night resulted in was more heart ache and an even bigger rift between the two of them. He'd told Sayuri everything once he found her (Girl #1 had bumped into her and the two had their own argument which results in Girl #1 saying some very nasty things before saying she didn't need friends now she's got Hinata.) Sayuri agreed he didn't have the best approach but didn't like what Hinata had said.

Hinata wasn't in class for the whole day and Kageyama feels heavy with regret as he makes his way towards the club changing room.

If he hadn't kissed Hinata than none of this would have happened. They'd have been fine.

Sighing, Kageyama pushes the door open to the changing room. Suga is the only one here right now and he offers Kageyama a gentle smile, his eyes telling Kageyama that his face must show more about how he's feeling than he realises.

"Don't worry too much, Kageyama. Hinata is your best friend, he'll come round." His senpai smiles again in that reassuring way that he does.

Kageyama isn't sure how reassured he is. Suga has a point, of course, but he doesn't know the full story. He doesn't know that this is all because Kageyama wants to be more than Hinata's best friend.

He nods, though. Hopefully Suga is right.

/Hopefully./

*

Hinata, despite the way things seem, was not a happy child. He wasn't full of smiles and energy like he is now. He was never so positive.  The world around him seemed dull and miserable. While other children found the wonder in discovering new things, Hinata says inside and watched the outside world with a scowl on his face.

It's usually the other way round, Hinata muses at times. Children are cute, hyper bundles of joy and teens are grumpy and foul. It's almost as if he'd been wired wrong. He'd probably seriously consider that theory if it weren't for meeting Sato-sama when he was five. When he was younger, Hinata was horrible to most people he encountered and he always seemed sad. His parents couldn't get through to him. They couldn't understand why their little boy was so full of hatred for everyone around him when all he'd been shown is love and affectionate while growing up. Being young and naïve as he was at the time, Hinata didn't understand either. No one understood anything until Sato-sama got him to open up.

Hinata sighs as he looks up at the sky, wondering what things could have been like if he were a happy child full of joy like he is now. Well, not at this moment in time, but like he usually is. Happy, full of energy and optimistic. Believing in himself and everyone else.

When he was younger, he'd have been perfectly happy and normal if not for-

Hinata's thoughts are halted there as his mobile chimes, telling him that the school day is over and he needs to climb down off the roof and head to practice right this second unless he wants to get murder by Daichi for being late.

He's not sure why he's not the roof, he just felt like looking up at the sky. He's regretting that wish now, having less than five minutes to get down and get to the club room.

Sighing, Hinata slings his bag over his shoulder and climbs down the ladder on the side of building as fast as he's able to without falling to his death (or falling and breaking an arm or a leg would not be good.) This is dangerous. He's not meant to be up here on the roof for precisely that reason but then again he's also not meant to skip a whole day of school without informing his parents or the school.

The session with Sato-sama had gone well but Hinata still feels weighed down despite getting it all off his chest. He almost doesn't put every ounce of his energy into running to the changing rooms like his life depends on it.

Sato-sama is right about one thing, though. He does need to talk to Kageyama. Properly. About all of his. He deserves an explanation for Hinata's behaviour.

Despite knowing that, however, Hinata isn't keen on telling Kageyama this story. He's bound to get hit or kicked and called a dumbass. He can't expect the other to understand. Then again, Hinata prefers it that way. He'd never wish it upon Kageyama to be able to emphasise with him.

Shaking away the dark thoughts, Hinata rushes to the club changing room. It's buzzing by the time he gets there and he isn't bothered as he dresses, everyone else in a rush too apparently. He's glad. He doesn't want to discuss anything with anyone and he certainly doesn't want anyone to ask why he won't so much as long in Kageyama's direction.

Hinata breathes out a sigh of relief upon realises that Daichi hasn't noticed his late entrance. He still dresses swiftly and makes up for the lost time, however, rushing to the gym to help set up.

He feels eyes on him near constantly.

His mind has been elsewhere for most of the day but now Hinata focuses. He will not let anything get in the way of Volleyball. Not even his own stupid problems. 

Hinata throws himself into practice and he notices the atmosphere change in the gym.

His teammates had been worried... Hinata looks around the gym at all his friends and smiles, glad that he's no longer causing them to worry over him. He knows he's been acting odd lately, he knows that he's been quiet. He didn't think they'd all worry as much as they clearly have been judging by the way the air seemed to lose bucket loads of tension just now.

At least he's not hurting anyone right now. Right now, while they're playing volleyball and doing what they love, it doesn't matter. All problems have been left at the gym door and they can wait for now.

Nothing will affect volleyball. Not for a single one of them.

Hinata smirks and bends his knees, preparing to return the ball heading towards him.