Hey guys sorry for the late update. I've been busy ne. Eid Ul Adha✨

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I stood in the kitchen, stirring the pot of Turkish stew I'd made. The aroma of lamb and spices filled the air, making my stomach rumble. It felt good to cook something familiar, something that reminded me of home. The table was set already—plates, glasses, and silverware all neatly arranged. I smiled to myself, pleased with how everything was coming together. I loved hosting, especially for my family.

After checking everything one last time, I quickly went to my bedroom for a shower. The warm water relax my tense muscles as I used my lavender-scented shower gel. The fragrance was soothing, and as I rubbed on my cocoa butter afterward, I felt a little more at peace. I didn't have to rush this evening. I pulled on my favorite navy blue yoga pants, a white t-shirt, and tied a mustard-colored turban around my head. Comfortable, yet put-together.

When I finished getting dressed, I walked back into the living room to make sure everything was still in place. But just as I was about to sit down, the doorbell rang. I smiled. It was finally time. I hurried to open it, eager to see them.

The moment I swung the door open, Ni'imah threw her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Ni'imah! Oh my goodness, I missed you so much, wallah!" I laughed, squeezing her back.

"I missed you more! How are you?" Ni'imah asked, stepping back to look at me.

"I'm good, alhamdulillah. How about you?" I replied, still grinning.

She turned to her sister, Loubna, who stood beside her holding her baby, Nadia. I bent down to take little Nadia in my arms, and my heart melted.

"Ina wuni, ya hanya?" I greeted Loubna, holding Nadia close to me.

"Lafiya, alhamdulillah. How's school going, Layla?" Loubna asked, looking around my apartment with a warm smile.

"It's going well, alhamdulillah. Just the usual, you know," I replied as I walked them into the living room, still holding Nadia.

We all settled on the couch, chatting about life, school, and everything in between. I stood by the door for a moment, making sure everything was in order. But just as I was about to sit, a voice interrupted me.

"It looks like I'm invisible here," a voice said, teasing.

I turned and found Muhammad standing in the doorway, looking at me with that familiar shy smile of his.

"Hi, Muhammad. How was the trip?" I asked, my heart doing a little flip. His presence always made things feel... complicated.

"It was fine, alhamdulillah. How about you?" he replied, his eyes lingering on me a bit longer than usual.

"I'm good too," I answered, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in my chest. Why did he always do this to me?

The group settled down in the living room, and Ni'imah, Loubna, and I made plans to pray. I showed them where the bathroom was, and then I went back to the living room where Muhammad was sitting. I couldn't help but notice how calm he looked sitting there, scrolling through his phone, as if everything were just normal between us. But then again, it never felt entirely normal between us.

"Aren't you going to pray?" I asked, trying not to sound too curious, but the question slipped out before I could stop it.

"No, I've already prayed at the airport," Muhammad answered without looking up, his tone casual.

I nodded, but I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I just wanted him to be a little more present. It wasn't like he was busy; he was just sitting there, on his phone.

I was about to sit down when his phone rang, and he answered it immediately.

"Hey Yasmin, yeah, we've arrived," he said, his voice a little lower.

I froze, my heart suddenly pounding. Yasmin? Was that his girlfriend? Why was he talking to her right now? I felt my stomach twist into knots. The idea of him with someone else—someone named Yasmin—was almost too much to bear. But what really got to me was how easy it seemed for him to talk to her, right in front of me. My mind started racing. Was he really so comfortable with this? Why was he telling her "I miss you too"? What did that mean for me?

I felt a wave of jealousy I hadn't expected. I quickly tried to brush it off, but I couldn't stop the thoughts from spiraling.

"Did I interrupt something?" Ni'imah's voice cut through my racing thoughts, and I snapped back to reality.

"No, nothing," I replied, forcing a smile, even though my chest felt tight.

"It's time to eat," I said, standing up to redirect my attention and pull myself together. I didn't want to seem too affected by whatever just happened, but it was hard not to feel that sting.

I led everyone to the dining table, and we all sat down to eat. Just as I was about to settle in and relax, the doorbell rang again. I rushed to get it, hoping it was someone else coming over—perhaps Ya Muhammad—but to my surprise, it was him.

"Ağabey!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him.

"Hi Hafsatu, ya kike?" he greeted me, giving me a big bear hug in return.

"I wasn't expecting you!" I laughed, genuinely surprised. "You didn't tell me you were coming!"

"I wanted to surprise you," he replied, grinning.

I ushered him to the dining table where we all greeted him warmly. Muhammad and Ya Muhammad did their typical manly hug, and we all sat down together. Dinner was filled with laughter and conversation, and for a while, it almost felt like everything was normal again.

After a while, the men excused themselves to leave us girls to chat. Ya Loubna asked about my sister Meena and how I was doing at school. We talked about family, babies, and life in general. Nadia was so adorable, and I couldn't help but smile whenever she made little cooing sounds.

After a while, the men came back, and we all exchanged goodbyes. Ya Muhammad had to leave to go back to his place, and Muhammad took a train to Reading for a work trip. As they left, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed, something unspoken between Muhammad and me.

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Two weeks had passed since that dinner with Muhammad, his sisters, and Ya Muhammad. Since then, I hadn't seen or talked to him. Ni'imah left for Leicester a week ago, and once again, I was alone.

I kept in touch with Ni'imah and Ibty every day, but it still wasn't the same. The apartment felt quieter without them. Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in the living room, watching Game of Thrones when my phone rang. I checked the caller ID—Ya Meena. I quickly picked it up and squealed.

"Ya Meeenaaa!" I shouted into the phone.

"Layla, ya kike?" she replied, her voice as warm as ever.

"I'm fine, ya Meena. Where's my baby Nasreen?" I asked eagerly.

"She's fine, alhamdulillah," she answered, laughing.

"Ya Meena, we're coming over later, so get ready," she added.

"Really? Yay! I can't wait to see you. Let me shower real quick!" I said, excitement bubbling in my chest.

"Kazaman banza (dirty girl)," she teased me before hanging up.

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The doorbell rang not long after. I rushed to open it, and to my delight, it was Ya Meena standing there with her little Nasreen in her arms.

"Ya Meeenaaa!" I squealed, throwing myself into her arms.

"Don't wake up my sleeping daughter!" Ya Meena laughed, hugging me back.

"Allah sarki, muma Allah ya bamu daughter," I replied, rolling my eyes but smiling as I reached for baby Nasreen.

We went inside, and after they prayed, I got ready to head out for some shopping and a little stroll. I dressed quickly in a pair of blue denim jeans and a black turtleneck, throwing on a mustard turban to complete the look. Ya Meena prayed, and then we were off to enjoy the day together.

It felt good to have family close by again. I wasn't as lonely anymore. I didn't need to overthink things. For now, everything felt just right.

Hey guys ❤️ the usuals
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✨deedah✨