confession 3
*CONFESSION OF A VICTIM OF RACIAL DISCRIMINATION.*
Wondering what this confession is about? Wondering who I am? I am voice of that person whose skin tone is dark. Do any of your friends face whose skin tone is dark pops in your mind? When I went to school I used to feel ashamed because I was dark skinned. You may think that why did I felt ashamed because of my color? Listen to my story may be you will understand that why I felt like that. I still remember the day when my Aunt addressed me as “Blacky” just because her kid’s skin tone was fairer than mine. She asked my mom that how come I was born dark though my both the parents were fair? I ran to my room, looked at my reflection and felt that why was I even born and that too with the dark skin color? Making my parents feeling embarrassed of giving birth to me? These questions never got answers.
When I went to school for admission with my parents, my principle concluded that I belonged to a particular caste without even looking at my certificate. I was confused back then, I did not understand that what they were talking. Now I realise that in my country, according to preponderance of people those who possess a darker skin tone belong to a particular caste. Is it a rule that people belonging to that particular caste should be darker? I am still finding out the answer. After paying lots of money to my school (in the name of fees and donation), I finally joined it. In a short period of time I made good friends, we were a gang of eight and I was the only one who possessed a dark skin tone. My friends were good by nature, they used to hurt me but it was unintentional so I couldn’t blame them. Every day someone used to make fun of me because of my skin tone, they compared me with a burnt dead corpse, they compared me with crow (an intelligent bird of course), they called me African ( without knowing that Africa was the first place where human evolved), they used to ask me that it was hard to find hair in my face since the color of both were same, they used to rub their finger on my hand and checked whether their hand became black, they changed my name to ‘Blacky’ (some even forgot my real name), the list will never end. I used to get hurt and cried thinking about the remarks every night but they were my friends so I never said a word against them. Once I got feelings for a girl who was fairer than me, when I said the same to my friends the first thing they did was to laugh continuously, they said that look at your color and hers, you both will look like a black and white movie. That day was the worst day of my life, I ran towards my house crying. I shouted on my parents for giving birth to me. I even tried to kill myself but my parents stood by my side. My friends apologised to me but that incident never got out of my mind. I never got courage to even become friends with a fairer person than me.
I entered in to one of the top universities in the country, they were the worst years of my life. Back in school I had friends who cared for me but in college I realised that they were only because of money. I was bullied, I was material to make fun of every time I stood with a gang and I faced the same problems I did in my school days. One person even morphed my picture to make fun of me. They didn’t leave a single chance to humiliate me. Whenever I entered the college premises I used to think that who will humiliate me today? I was finally out of my college and got a good job. I still get humiliated in front of people because of my color.
I want to ask that aunty, my friends, my college mates, my colleagues, everyone who humiliated based on my color what do you get by humiliating us? What contentment do you get? Do you know what we go through when we are called like that? Do you know unwittingly you kill our self confidence? Do you know how it feels? Do you know how hard it is to stand alone in a crowd? I am the voice of the person whom you unintentionally made fun in your neighborhood, someone from your family, a person from your college, from your school, from your workplace, a person whom you saw today on street, I could be anyone. We are also human beings just like you. Please try not to hurt our sentiments. Please do not make fun based on someone’s physique or race. Please, this is a request from your friend. If you think you had hurt anyone’s sentiment please go and apologise. Live and let live!!!
- Jahan Ara S.
P.S. I wrote this as a voice of a victim and with what I have heard and seen so far in the society. I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s emotion. I believe that everything in this world is beautiful.
#Racism #Victim_Voice
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