KHUSHI

I was quite confused, Arnav's behavior and words had left me confused, I no more knew what to do regarding this situation.

I mean ofcourse I did feel some sort of attraction towards Arnav, otherwise I wouldn't have kissed him, but his revelation of feelings came as a shock to me.

He said he was in love with me and I no more knew what to do with that information. I dint want to hurt Arnav like I had hurt Aditya. I mean of course I had been looking for love for ages and it just never happened to me, and even though I see a chance of it happening with Arnav, I'm also scared about the fact that it might not happen and I would end up hurting him like I hurt Adi.

He was already thinking of getting married to me and a future with me, the farthest I could think about us was dating and just letting things flow, so I wasn't really sure on what to do.

I wish someone could tell me what to do, I dint want to be this confused, I dint want to feel stuck.

When we kissed it was great, I kind of wanted more but I wasn't sure if I wanted more because I really liked him or because since I broke up with Aditya I hadn't really kissed anyone and I missed it.

"What's wrong, you both seemed to have had a tensed conversation." Ananya asked as she walked in my room looking at me worriedly.

"He said he was in love with me." I sighed.

"What?" Ananya asked in complete shock, It was just a few weeks back when Ananya and I couldn't stop talking about how hot he was and now that same hot guy was in love with me and I had no idea what to do.

Why was I like this? Why was it like impossible for me to fall in love with someone? Ananya walked towards me, sat down beside me and looked at me curiously.

"Do you also feel the same for him?" She asked.

"I don't know, I mean we kissed, it was beautiful, I'd like to kiss him again but that might be completely lust from my side. I could think of dating him if he just liked me or something, but knowing that he is in love with me, I don't think I have the guts to."

"Why not Khushi? It's Arnav we are talking about here, the rich hot guy, everything about him screams perfection, why wouldn't you want to date such a guy?"

"Because I can't keep on doing this Ananya, I can't keep on dating guys hoping I would fall in love with them some day but then it never happens and at the end of the day I end up hurting them." I really wanted to be with him but I couldn't.

"But if you date him, you might fall in love with him too, or who know maybe you already are in love with him, you just don't know how to figure your feelings out." Ananya tried to convince me.

"Unless I am very sure that what I feel for Arnav is love, nothing is happening between us Ananya, I think I've made my decision, I think this is for the best." I said as I stood up to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"To tell him that I don't love him."

"You cant do that Khushi, are you out of your mind? He is your one chance at love, at least I can notice it, you are different since everything happened between you two, it's not the usual relationship you have, this guy does mean something to you. You can't risk losing him."

"I cannot risk hurting him either Ananya." I said as I ignored her and walked away, I walked out of the mansion and to my surprise, Arnav hadn't left yet. His car was still in the parking lot, and he was standing outside leaning against it.

"I knew you would come out." He smiled excitedly as he walked towards me with a huge smile on his face.

"Arnav I..." I tried to speak but before I could say anything, he pulled me into a hug and held me into his arms tightly.

"I knew you would forgive me for my stupidity, I promise I'll never do anything like that again Khushi." It felt so good being in his arms, it felt safe, I wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Ananya was right, somehow it was different with Arnav, there were a lot of things that I felt with him that I hadn't ever felt before but the other fact also remained to be, all this years of my life and dating so many men, I had never even for once fallen for someone, so what could make me sure that I would fall for Arnav? Nothing right? And that was why I had to break his heart before his feelings got deeper because it would hurt him worse later.

I hated doing this because if I was being honest all I wanted to do was date him, get to know him, give us a chance but I couldn't been selfish, I tried being selfish when I agreed to date Aditya and look how that went, I couldn't make the same mistake again.

"I did forgive you Arnav, but nothing can happen between us." I said as I broke the hug, I felt like choking at my own words, why was this hurting me this much? It wasn't supposed to, it was supposed to be as easy as it was when breaking up with Aditya.

"What? I mean why Khushi? Don't you believe that I love you because I do, I'll do anything to prove it." He said.

"No, that's not the problem Arnav, I know you love me and I believe it but I don't love you." I said.

"You're joking right? I mean you were pissed on me after I behaved like a jerk about the kiss and now you tell me you don't love me?"

"The kiss happened because of attraction, I never said anything about love Arnav. Please do yourself and me a favor, forget about the kiss, forget it ever happened because I'm sorry but I don't love you and that's the truth." I said.

The way his expressions changed and all I could see was sadness all over his face was literally breaking my heart, why was all this so messed up? I wish we hadn't even kissed at the first place then it wouldn't be this complicated.

"Please go back home Arnav, I am sorry I am just not the kind of a person who falls in love, I wish I could but I can't and I don't want you to bear the consequences of it." I said.

"But give it a chance Khushi, let's date, let me make you happy, let me treat you right, who knows you might fall in love with me too?"

"And what if I don't Arnav? What would happen when I break up with you in the future because I couldn't fall for you? I don't want to hurt you, please understand my point.

Just go home Arnav, and don't come here again, I'm sure with time you'll get over this feelings, if it gets deep it would be difficult." I said as I turned around and walked away from him.

"Khushi please stop, Khushi!" he shouted but I ignored him and just headed inside the house.

ARNAV

"Khushi!" I feel down on my knees still shouting her name but she dint pay any heed to me, she just ignored me like I dint exist. Why was it so hard for her to understand that I loved her damn it? I really did.

"I love you Khushi, all I am asking for is a chance." I kept on shouting even when she was gone, I was crazy about her, I dint want to lose her, and I couldn't believe one of my stupid mistakes would bring us here, I hated this.

Kaash tu mere haq me hota... banke yakeen shak me hota...
Par aisa huwa nahi, tu hai milon door kahin...
tere sang pal do pal ko, hasna jo chaha to...
rula ke gaya ishq tera... rula ke gaya ishq tera...
Ke mane nahin dil yeh mera... kaise chup me karaun ve...

I stood up and rushed towards the door, rang the doorbell continuously and knocked on it, I wasn't going to give up on her so easily, if she could give Aditya a chance she had to give me one too, I deserved it.

This time I wasn't giving up.

"Khushi I know you're there, please just talk to me, all I am asking for is one chance Khushi." I begged but no matter what I did or said, she wouldn't just open the door.

I stayed at the door for so long but she dint seem to bother at all and with every passing minute I was getting angry on myself for ruining everything. If only that day I could have talked to her about the kiss we would be at a better place right now, and then I ruined everything by saying that I loved her, maybe I should have just said I liked her.

But I was just trying to be honest, looks like that got me nowhere, but I couldn't give up, not so easily, not when I had done a lot of crazy things just for her and definitely not after breaking her and Aditya up.

When there was finally chance of us being together, I was going to do everything and anything to get her because she was mine, she was definitely going to be mine at any cost.

The door opened and I stood up hopefully but to my disappointment, it wasn't Khushi but Ananya.

"You should go home Arnav, right now she isn't sure of her feelings but once she is, I'm sure she would come to you herself." Ananya said.

"No, I'm not going anywhere, she has to give me once chance at least." I said.

"She will Arnav, you need to relax. Khushi and I have been best friends forever so trust me when I say this, she will come to you herself, she does have feelings for you, she just hasn't realized them and that's my job, I'll make her realize it." Ananya assured me.

"What if she doesn't? you have no idea how I've spent this one week without her, hoping she would come back so I could talk to her, I can't even spend a day without her now, why is she doing this to me? does she need me to beg for forgiveness because I'm ready to do that too." When I said I wanted her to be mine at any cost, I meant it, even if it meant begging her for it.

"You wouldn't have to spend a day without her Arnav, trust me on this. She will be at your house by tomorrow evening, I promise. Now go home and let me deal with this." Ananya said.

"Are you sure?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes I am, now go." I nodded as I stood up, I was trusting her, I wished she wasn't going to let me down, because after all this if I lost Khushi, I was going to get crazy.