Further Shennanigans

[when in a haunted house]

Screams: Mike, Zoe, Warren, Murray, Nefarious, Jessica

Calm until that one spook shows up: Ben, Erica, Alexander, Catherine, Ashley, Tina

Unaffected: Cyrus, Woodchuck, Hank, Hamilton, Jawa, Joshua, Shang, Dane

Counterattacks: Chip

Dispatcher: Police department, how can I help you?

Zoe: *whispering* I'm trapped in a room with a psychopath! Send SWAT immediately!

Erica: *in the background* SHUT THE HELL UP, ZIBBELL!

Erica: The glass is half empty.

Catherine: The glass is half full.

Alexander: *drinks the water* Now it's fully empty!

Cyrus: *sips coffee, trying to block out family*

Hank: ... that's your plan?

Chip: Yep.

Tina: Chip, that plan will most likely get us locked up.

Hank: Exactly. There's two places I'm tryna stay away from: jail and hell.

Chip: Trust me brother, you've got bigger issues comin' up on Judgment Day than this.

Someone: mIlItArY-gRaDe EqUiPmEnT...

Chip, Hank, Jawa, Cyrus, and Alexander: NOOOOOOOOOO—

Catherine: So you say that military-grade equipment means it's garbage, yes?

Cyrus: Correct.

Catherine: Well, in the UK, the British military's firearms are better than those of the civilian populace.

Cyrus: ... but civilians in the UK don't even have firearms.

Catherine: *frustrated* EXACTLY!

Catherine: Looks like I won!

Alexander: But I have you pinned to the ground.

Catherine: What's your point, dear?

Chip: (holding detonator) Ka-boom?

Alexander: Yes, Chip. Ka-boom.

SPYDER facility: (explodes in a mushroom cloud)

Warren: Chip, you're a chad. How do I pick up chicks?

Chip: *dead serious* Well, the fireman's carry is pretty good.

[later...]

Warren: (carrying Zoe) Are you in love with me now?

Zoe: WARREN, PUT ME DOWN!

Hank: (on the sniper rifle) You sure that's him?

Chip: (on the spotter scope) Yeah.

Hank: Positive?

Chip: I dunno.

Hank: You don't know if you're positive?

Chip: I don't know what "positive" means.

Hank: It means you're sure.

Chip: ... yes.

Hank: Yes, what?

Chip: Yes, I'm sure he's the target.

Hank: (fires rifle, successfully killing target)

Chip: ... I'm positive he's dead.

Chip: "All you need is love?" False. Sometimes, you need a Marine Air-Ground Task Force.

Hank: Indeed. Infantry, armor, artillery, aircraft... ain't such thing as a problem that can't be solved with a MAGTF.

Tina: ... WHAT THE HELL—

Murray: Hello, hello! It is I, Murray Hill!

Ben: Somehow I feel like you're going to cause half of the problems in this story.

Murray: And I'd take credit for all of them!

[while texting]

Hank: Send dudes.

Tina: ... is that a typo?

Hank: I'm in a fight. I need more men.

Jawa: Say what you want about other ships... but Chun will never die.

Tina: Why do you say that?

Jawa: *points at Chip*

Chip: *snoring, cuddling a .50-cal*

Jawa: #ChunForever.

Tina: BOI—

Test Memes

I tried making some memes. These were made for comedy and are not meant to be taken seriously. Also, none of the pictures are mine.

Hope you enjoyed! Make sure to leave a comment.

Until next time,

- ADF-2