After I packed my bags, I called my parents. They came and helped me with all my "baggage". I didn't want to leave anything behind. My little boy and girl were with me. In my opinion, as soon as I came back to my parents house, everything seemed better. I could sleep normally again, without any tears coming down my face.

It was the third of June 2021. And my baby girl was just three months old. I did a huge thing, leaving my old life behind. Now I just had to figure out what to do with my life.
I kept on with my exercise. All I wanted was to feel fit and healthy. I had to get a job, to provide for my kids, I didn't know if their father would be part of their life. I have no clue if he would want to care for them, despite our break up.

I had sent like 20 cv and job applications on a good day and around 5 on a bad day. Many companies didn't even reply and say thank you for the bother. If it wasn't for my parents I have no clue what would happen to me and my kids. But every thing in life has its ups and downs. This was my pit hole. And from there, everything gets up, right?

I had booked myself to the home workout and been through it twice. I lost around 15 kg and I felt great. I was taking long walks with my baby girl in her stroller and listening to some motivational music. I opened up some applications on my iPhone to track daily walks, food and weight. After a month of daily activity I really felt amazing. I was really proud of myself.

All above all, I was looking for something exciting, something new. I needed a big change. But I was stuck! In my last relationship I was so caught up in daily chores and doing everything for my ex that I forgot about my dreams and hopes. Now when I think back, I can't remember when I surrendered to his style of living and forgot that I majored in business informatics. I could do something out of myself. Something better than working in a bar, supermarket or big industrial company( three shifts thing).
I didn't want work shifts, and put all the care for my children in someone else.

Not working in my field of expertise for 7 years or more was a bigger problem here. My knowledge was old and many of my job applications were denied because I didn't have the right knowledge or work experience. So now I had to take some beginners' jobs, to get myself out there again. To start working for myself and my babies.

I always wanted to be independent. Through the years my family always had some sort of money issues. If we had paid for all our debts, then something always broke. The refrigerator , a car, always something that puts us in debt again. Even when we first moved here in this apartment. We of course bought it and got into debt, but it wasn't enough. My mum lost her job back then. And I lost the opportunity to live and study abroad. I made a decision to stay at home and helped my parents with their money troubles. Because of money I have made many decisions, wrong ones i guess and many times didn't live my life to the fullest. Money was always in the way, when I had to make some bigger decisions. And now I decided it's the right time to break this curse of our family and be much more abundant.

How to start in this economy? Like I said before, I've sent so many applications, but nothing worked as it should. Then suddenly, out of nowhere I got a job proposal. It was not a great job and it was far away. I must have driven for an hour and a half in one direction for the job. After talking to my parents and friends I decided to give it a try. So on 28 of February in 2022 I started a new job in Ljubljana. Our sweet Capital.

I needed a Vinjeta, that's like a ticket for usage of our highway and we need to buy it every year. Thank God for my grandmother, she bought me the highway pass as a gift for my new job choice. I was driving there all day. I have met a lot of new people and got to know many new friends. It was a major change in my life. Change for the better. Finances started coming, I could buy better things for me and the kids.

I was living in a really small apartment with my kids and parents. My boy was 4 years old and he wanted more playground, more freedom and he missed his father a lot. After a long conversation with my boy and his father we decided that he will live with his father. There was a big house with a big back garden and large front side to play. Even now, I miss a big place to walk and play with kids. In those 5 years being there in that house I got used to the larger back garden. When I think back on my decision, I just wanted to do what is best for my son. Deep inside me I knew I did the right thing. After my son stayed there, I signed a contract with my ex for splitting the costs for children and when will be the visit time for both of our children. Anyway I didn't really do what was written on that piece of paper, I wanted to see my son every day, even if I had to drive to that house again and again.

In my past I always changed myself for others, to be as they wanted me to be. Just to prevent bad blood. I hate to fight people. I love peace and harmony. Since I left that house, I've decided never to live there again. It was so painful every time I went there to pick up my son. But for the good of our children we had to make a compromise and stick to it.

Changes could be hard and painful, but they always teach you how to become better and stronger. After my split up, I decided not to change for anyone else ever again. Will I stand behind my words?