I really love that Sci Fi program quote : " Imagine greater!"

We have been in my dreams before, but we didn't talk about my waking hours. I am Virgo by horoscope, so I should be down to earth, right? There is a problem. From my childhood on, I was always in the clouds. Making my own stories!

At first it happened when i was just a child. Every time i was afraid, i let my imagination flow and thinking about all the beautiful stories, just to calm myself down. Mostly when i had visited the dentist. Or when i was really little and all of my dinosaurs figurines became real to me, then i needed my happy place to forgot about them. I guess everyone has vivid daydreams as they a child. But rarely that become daily routine as we grow up. Some people rather started to smoke or drink, to run away from bad things in their life. My getaway is daydreaming!

As I said before, while we grow up, we are much more in the real world and we use our imagination only when it is needed, for rare occasions, like brainstorming.

Few people are capable of maintaining this childlike daydreaming. Mostly they are different kinds of artists like painters, musicians or actors. They are the ones who dare to transfer their daydreams into work. Have you ever seen a painters gallery? Most of the time there are some weird paintings, and not everyone knows what they are presenting. It's the pure imagination of a creative person.

What about the music? All the emotions, in just one song? Really good songs always make me shiver and cry, because I can feel it with my soul.

Actors? They need a really big imagination, to know exactly how to represent the personality of his character. There is so much psychology behind it. They need to feel, think, become the person whom they are impersonating.

I had tried really hard to become someone like that. But there was always a barrier. I had a wish for high school. There was a school, which still had the greatest theatre. But I wasn't accepted there. After I tried modelling at school, but my parents were too poor to afford that kind of expense. After I got my own job I was too old for anything. So expressing my imagination was suppressed many times. I got some experiences, but it wasn't what I would like.

I have finished post graduate studies in business informatics. But I was rebellious even in my late twenties. I never lived by the standards. I wanted to be free.

Money never was the main priority in my life, but we all need it to survive. After graduation, I took a job in a bar. I didn't really pay much attention to jobs in my field of studies. That was a grave mistake. I really did enjoy all the freedom of the time, but for now, when I really do need a serious job, I don't get one. I lack experience in my field. That is what I have been fighting with, while I was applying to a job in London. But that is quite another story again.

So in adult life, my daydreaming began most intense after a breakup with my ex partner. I didn't move on from him, but I needed support to bring my life back as it was before. Well I drastically needed some changes.

I was watching a Sci Fi channel and Netflix. I was always drawn to stories which could bust my imagination. Only more realistic tv channel that I watched was Discovery or History channel. I always liked how people evolved through time, and I imagine how to make those things better in my time. Sometimes I felt I am a person with many ideas, but there was no-one who would listen to me.

I always wondered about shady, unknown things. Like aliens on other planets. For real, there are like 400.000 planets in our Milky way, and there are hounds or thousands of other galaxies. Please someone prove to me, there couldn't be alien life out there!

When I acknowledge my celeb crush, I could feel him, like he is the same as I am. Weirdo, out of the bunch of normal people. It wasn't all his beautiful blue eyes with some perfect impressions, but it was the way I saw him. I can feel the connection, even though he has no clue who the hell am i.

I started to explore so many different things at that time. I was a religious Christian at the time, well not a fanatic one, but I have all the sacraments. I started to explore other possibilities. My point of view has expanded.

I started with a daily workout. Brains and body should be at the same level. But after some exploration homework I found out that yoga is the best way for my body. After that I acknowledged yoga, I had explored all about meditation and crystals. Here I had a big supporter in my coworker. She is so all about the crystals. I borrowed a few books from her, and learned so much about "emotional vampires' ', people who make you feel weak, just for them to feed on your energy.

I got even more deeper with tarot readings. But I didn't believe them truly, till one man said three months before it even happened, that the convention in London will be cancelled! I didn't believe it! I was sure, he was just making it up!
Then one month before the convention, everything was cancelled, due to financial troubles of the convention holders. I was in shock. I went to London anyway. I have met another fan, she is still my great friend even now. It was the best four days of my life there. No one gives a damn about you, you can go around half naked or in a tu-tu skirt. I forgot about the money I gave in for the convention, I had luck to get a place to stay without any expenses. I haven met my actor, but still it was an amazing experience.

After this, my daydreaming got even bigger. I have imagined all the possibilities of how I will meet him. What would we talk about, how are we going to become great friends and sometimes even more. Those daydreams kept me away from reality for so long that I didn't know what its true and what was not. It became all blurred. All i have seen was his eyes, smile and different facial expressions.

For some period of time, this stopped my development in real life. I was overwhelmed and I couldn't wait to have some spare time to think of him. In reality I had a really bad time, but somehow I made it through.

I left my ex behind, I don't think much about that. Just when we "exchange " our children. Otherwise, my actor have a girlfriend, and i really don't have any chance there. I am doomed. Or am i?

My personal quote has for a long time been:" Imagine greater, love deeper, try harder, never give up!"