"E-Every...thing...?" I whispered to myself in disbelief, peering up into Hitoshi's puffy eyes.

"No....no....no! Y/N why....w-why did you burn it! It's wearing off!" Hitoshi cried out as he dropped to the ground, desperately searching through the pile of ash that was once suppose to help him forget.

To help him forget all of the pain.

"Hitoshi..." I whispered, staring down at the broken boy as he continued searching through the ash pile for nothing.

I need to be here for Hitoshi right now like he was for me five years ago.

I need to let him know that he's not alone.

If he has no one else...he has me.

No matter what.

I dropped down to Hitoshi's level, letting out a sad sigh as I watched his tears mix in with the last bits of ash that hadn't already been blown away by the breeze.

"Hey...Toshi...look at me..." I spoke softly through Hitoshi's sobs.

He continued muttering profanities through his clenched teeth, keeping his eyes glued to the sidewalk.

I leaned in closer, placing my gloved hands atop of his trembling ones to halt his actions.

"It's okay Toshi...I'm here." I started in a gentle tone, rubbing circles on the back of his hands.

"You don't have to be alone." I continued, leaning in closer to wipe the tears from his violet eyes.

Hitoshi POV

Upon catching sight of the ambulances and police surrounding the alleyway, all of the painful memories began flooding my brain like wildfire.

This is real Hitoshi...

You're a murder...you killed real people Hitoshi.

But...they were scum...

They had lives and family Hitoshi.

B-But...they were going to kill me.

But you'll never know if they really were because they are rotting right now...

Y/N would be disgusted by the piece of shit that you are.

If she only knew...what you did to her.

I-it's wasn't my fault...I-I wasn't all t-there...I didn't know that she was under my control during that kiss...I-I thought-

Shut up Hitoshi...you took advantage of her.

You took advantage of her, and you blackmailed Bakugou to keep him quiet.

I-I didn't.....

Make all the excuses you want, but you love to play mind games...don't you?

No...No...I need to forget...I can't do this.

I pulled the one thing that could end the painful thoughts in my head from the depths of my hoodie pocket.

The last one.

"C-Can you j-just light this...p-please..." I choked out after barely being pulled out of my thoughts by Y/N's presence.

She'll never understand how much I love her.

She'll also never understand how sick you are deep inside...

I let out a broken whimper at the sight of
Y/N burning my last stick to ash.

It's gone...

C/N is also gone.....because of you.

"I Just want to forget," I mumbled to Y/N as I met her gaze.

"Forget what Toshi...?"

"Everything," I whispered as the thoughts began swarming my brain again.

Why don't you just tell her what you did Hitoshi...?

"No....no....no! Y/N why....w-why did you burn it! It's wearing off!"

The euphoria keeping the thoughts quiet had finally receeded.

They are never going to go away now.

The fact that you put Y/N in a coma won't either Hitoshi...

I instantly dropped to the ground in a blind desperation, letting my emotions finally take over.

"Shut up....shut up...shut the fuck up..." I mumbled to myself on repeat as I dug my hands into the pile of ash.

I'm drowning right now.

Drowning in a dark ocean alone...

No one can save me.

The heavy pressure of the pain, guilt and regret are painfully weighing me down.

I've almost reached the seafloor.

That was until I felt gloved hands land a top of mine.

"It's okay Toshi...I'm here." Y/N's voice broke through all of the noisy thoughts coursing through my head.

She's here...

"You don't have to be alone."

I'm not alone anymore..?

I won't hit the bottom of the ocean as long as she is here...

I finally forced my eyes to open.

My eyes met Y/Ns cat necklace that glistened from the setting sun as it dangled from her neck.

I watched as Y/N began to wipe tears from my eyes that I didn't even know were there as she squatted down to my level on the concrete.

Y/N and I were both sitting on the sidewalk, the occasional bystander would walk by and look down on me with pity.

"Y/N..." I whispered barely audibly as I finally looked up into her E/C eyes.

"I'm proud of you Toshi...now stand up with me now...you can do it...just focus on my voice...okay?"

"O-Okay...." I mumbled, letting my weak legs support me as Y/N helped me to my feet.

Once she pulled me into her arms, all of the thoughts finally silenced. The only sound present was the soft clinging of both of our necklaces as they connected.

I squeezed my tired eyes shut as my head rested in the crook of her neck, and I let my body calm as the soft thudding of her heart filled my ears.

I felt safe in her arms like nothing could ever harm me once I was with her. In this moment nothing else mattered. Nothing that happened in the days before, and not even the broken state I was currently in.

Only this embrace mattered.

"I'm sorry Toshi...I know I probably hurt you. I shouldn't have turned a blind eye to your feelings." Y/N spoke gently into my ear as she attempted to run her hand through my tangled, messy hair.

"Y/N...I-I-I love...you..." I whispered back into her ear, feeling my heart rate spike upon speaking the words that have been running through my mind for years.

"I love you too Toshi..." She responded, continuing to comb through my unruly hair.

"No...you don't get it...I...l-love...you," I spoke slower, pulling away from Y/N slightly.

"What...?"

"I-I don't think I can just be friends with you anymore Y/N. I've been in love with you for the past five years, and I don't think I can hold it in anymore. Back at the arcade that day, you said that we could be more than just friends, you almost kissed me back, I could see it in your eyes. Please tell me you feel the same way." I began rambling, feeling my heart begin to race as I held Y/N's eye contact.

I couldn't read her expression. I don't know what she's thinking and that makes it terrifying.

I don't think I can take rejection from her.

Y/N POV

I need to really think about how I'm going to respond to this.

Hitoshi is going through a lot right now. His mind is very fragile at the moment. We were making progress, but one wrong move could send him hurtling backward.

I've known that Hitoshi has had feelings for me since that day at the arcade, but I never knew how intense they were.

I did tell him that maybe in the future we could be more than friends.

Maybe I just told him that to make him feel better about the rejected kiss. But I can't pretend that I never feel flustered when we get close.

We have almost kissed twice.

Twice...

That can't be a coincidence.

I definitely have some sort of feelings for Hitoshi, even if it's only slight.
I can't even say I see Hitoshi as family anymore if this is the way we feel about each other.

But...my feelings for Katsuki completely trample those for Hitoshi.

I can't break his heart, I don't want to see him hurt. Me rejecting him this time could be the final straw for him.

But what if me and Katsuki start dating.

That would destroy him.

He can't find out.

"H-Hitoshi...I-I-" I sputtered out, becoming lost for words as Hitoshi's violet eyes stayed locked with mine.

I can't hurt him...

"You don't....love me...?" He uttered out flatly, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence as his expression darkened.

You're going to regret this later Y/N.

Not knowing what else to do I placed a hand aside his cheek and closed the space between our lips, causing Hitoshi's eyes to shoot wide open.

It wasn't a heated kiss, basically a peck on the lips before I pulled back, leaving both of us speechless.

Why did you do that...?

"Why would you think that Toshi...?" I whispered, biting the inside of my cheek as guilt immediately flooded my body.

I watched his eyes light up, and a slight smile pull at Hitoshi's lips seconds later.

The first genuine smile that I have seen in days.

"Wow...I-I-" He stuttered out, his cheeks tinting red as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's starting to get late Bedhead, we gotta go. School starts tomorrow, and if you want to get into 1-A I know the perfect person to train you!" I smiled softly as we fell in step towards the house, hoping that I helped put together at least some of his broken pieces.

Or maybe I just made things worse

--------------

Over the next few days, I ended up moving in with the Bakugou family. Mr. Shinsou said that the move-in would only last till the end of the week since he was sure he could find Hitoshi's grandparents somewhere to live by then. Living with the Bakugous has been an interesting adventure so far. Their family is the complete opposite of the Shinsous.

Once school resumed, I introduced Hitoshi to Mr. Aizawa. I hoped that Aizawa could be a great mentor to Hitoshi while also training him to succeed at the sports festival.

Hitoshi's mental state is also improving. He had finally become content with me living with the Bakugous. And even though he still has a strong dislike for Katsuki, he hasn't shown it lately.

I also began training with Todoroki every day after school, in hopes to try to control my quirk. Todoroki never uses his fire side, but he agreed to help me control my fire upon request from Aizawa.

Things are actually beginning to go back to normal...

A/N: And thats the end of the first Arc! Idk if this chapter was good or not. I tried to convey everyones emotions as well as possible and connect all of the ties. But yeah, Y/N really made Hitoshi think that she likes him...so we'll see how hard that kiss backfires. Lmao the sports festival arc is about to be wild. Buckle up bois

Peace out ✌