[Reminder: Skip to Day 6]

It was a horribly lonely Saturday. I felt it deeply. But let's not get into that now.

I decided to delete several apps on my phone. They include Safari, LinkedIn, Gmail, Spotify, and the New App. I had read an article about how Aziz Ansari, a highly creative and successful comedian, decided to delete his internet, news and email from his phone because he was wasting endless, precious time wasted on them. He observed that he would go online not really for a purpose other than receiving new information, and the information was usually never good. It was just new information. He had become a consumer of information. As for the news, it wasn't doing him any good either. It was the age of Trump in America back in those days, so for a progressive, it was always bad news. It wasn't good for his brain to be fed this negativity and if any of the news really mattered, he would learn about it by word of mouth anyway. Most people thought it'd be too scary to disconnect from the internet this way.

But then I came across a book called The Shallows, and it taught me how the internet is changing our brains. Instead of reading deeply, and thinking linearly, the internet taught us to learn superficially and broadly but in a scatterbrained way. I notice how this has affected me. I used to have no attention span for books. I would start and within a page or two I became restless. I am not creative like I used to be. My brain became used to consuming content and no longer had to entertain itself by creating its own.

But last night I decided I would become a producer and no longer a consumer. I deleted those apps that were stealing my time for no great purpose, and decided to live a deeper life. I had once met a girl at UCLA who was going to be a dentist. She was no doubt ranked high in her class and would have no trouble being a dentist or a doctor. I wondered how someone like her has so much focus. Then I learned she knew absolutely nothing about what new movies were playing. She didn't know any of the new pop artists. She didn't know what was going on in the news, which is why, by the way, she saw nothing wrong with Trump. She was simply uninformed about popular culture and this allowed her to have such intense focus on her personal goals.

I came to realize that although I valued consuming information on the news because I thought it would enrich my perspective on the world, keep me in the loop about important things and tell me about subjects that would be useful at social gatherings, I hadn't actually gained anything truly from it besides a political stance. It didn't enrich my ability to talk at the table. I was fooling myself. What did enrich my ability to talk at the table however was certainly the nonfiction books I had read to such great a number when I was in Israel the year after junior year, which is the year I had finally broken up with my first girlfriend. That could possibly have made me so much smarter. And I would have stayed smarter if I had stayed off YouTube music videos.

It goes to show that the category of consumer also branches to consumers of information. The internet is a vast, growing and changing library. And the problem is the need to consume it all, which is only natural. It is urgent and infinite, terribly addicting and easily forgettable. A book, however, will wait for you. There is no hurry. And when you have seven books on your nightstand and no internet browser, your ability to consume information speeds up so rapidly that you suddenly realize why those book readers were so much faster than you. The brain was thirsty for real information.

I was worried about losing touch with my human side. I feel like my brain is changing at times when I remember I haven't spoken to people for so long, face to face. The body at my age craves people my age, preferably women but honestly the epicureans are right about how we really just need friends. Or want friends.

I look outside to the red planet and I start to wonder if I have become this red planet. Alone, circling, but possibly aged and wise. I wonder if Mars is happy. Not to personify it or anything, but perhaps personifying inanimate objects is a way for the mind to cope with loneliness. I remember as a child if I would ever hurt myself on a piece of furniture like the railing of the stairs leading to my childhood home's loft, my mother would hit the railing and say, "Bad railing!" as a way to punish the railing in a sweet way that made me feel better. As a child, our imaginations do tend to soar. Although, I'm not sure about this generation anymore which is tied to the internet. But mine, which was on the brink of the new millennium, did have that opportunity to really be alone and disconnected mentally from the upcoming web. I had a grand imagination. I would write fiction with a passion and vivid imagery would pervade my inner eye. My fiction would make my teachers cry because it was so real, so descriptive, so new. When there is no external content coming in, the sleepless brain absolutely must build its own content. And that's what mine did. And I attribute my intellect to that. I was a better student than everyone in my class because of that.

I am curious as to if I will be a better and more curious student now that I am disconnected from the insistent barrage of largely useless information on the internet. I wanted to learn Spanish, Hebrew, Python, Java, electrical engineering, finance, you name it, and now that I am devoid of incoming crap, my brain will be hungry. They say adults are harder to teach than kids. I think that's because of all the information being thrown at them. It's unfocused and takes away the capacity to learn.

I simply wish to be a producer now. Not a consumer. I love reading but I want to limit even that. Instead of reading all day, I need to write, too. And I will be working my job as Martian grave digger as well. I love my friends. I really truly love people. But like religion which is the opiate to the masses, my friendships are the opiates to me. And perhaps this isolation is a way for me to really produce something great. And once I make the money necessary to travel and own a home and make my food, then I will truly be free to be with all the friends I want. I realize that to have friends, one must have money. Money for transportation to see them if they are not your neighbors, money to eat with them, go out with them, invite them over, etc. I want my friends.

What is sad though is the notion that if a person never gets married they will be ousted from the social circles of couples. I think that is terrible. Perhaps single people are seen as a threat, and couples who are already romantically bound will not threaten to weaken a marriage via flirtation. Or perhaps it's simply unrelatability. Does a couple with kids has nothing to gain from the experience of a friend without kids and a spouse? The day to day struggles are different.

When it had been only a night and part of the morning since I deleted Email, News, Spotify, LinkedIn and Safari web browser from my phone, I had the strangest response. I notice that even though I limited my phone, I continued to turn it on and sadly, wished for some sort of notification. I felt like a dog pawing at the front door, hoping someone would come in. I feel like I am waiting for my owner. I guess that is the sad part. That my smartphone had essentially become my owner. What is a dog to do now in an empty house? What would a dog do if he suddenly realized he was free? Would he go outside, find his own food, find a friend, find a new place to stay, roam, play, wreak havoc, make something of himself? He is free, right?

The sad part is though that he is not truly free. He still has email on his computer. He still has to check his email. But does he? Does he really have to check his email. Think. What has entered through the email that was important? What was the last important email? My potential employers like Dr. Burks, Santiago, Jamie, etc. all had the curtesy of calling by phone, not emailing. I take it company managers choose phone calls over emails because they get so many emails anyway and phone calls are more immediate. I'm sure they hate emails. Even Liz preferred calls. She can call in the car, and anywhere else, and she can multitask that way. To my surprise, I may be able to avoid email. Maybe I can leave one of those emails saying, Feel free to call me, I will be much more likely to get back to you sooner. That will sure make me sound official.

I forget of course that no one will really try to contact me on Mars anyway. I'm not on Earth anymore.

I have reduced my number of phone apps to only nine. My text app, phone call app, GPS, settings – which I use for checking my battery usage to see my progress in reducing the time I spend on my phone per day, my clock, notes, reminders, voice recorder – which I use in case I need to record someone who gives me advice, calculator, calendar. Actually, that's ten but I put my voice recorder out of sight. I also deleted my sleepy time app which told me the various times I would be most suitable for waking up. But now that I have been working out, I actually wake up earlier. Possibly because my central nervous system is unhappy with the 200 pushups. My friend had told me that isn't good for your joints, at least he might have read that. I don't know. I'll try to not overstrain my body. But back to the apps, I realize I don't need to use my settings anymore because I don't use my phone much anyway so I have no reason to check how much time I spend on my phone. It is already a healthy amount. I shouldn't use my voice recorder either because that's illegal and my memory should be increasing. Although in all honesty I will use it if the time comes that I need to record someone's advice. My GPS is only used on certain Fridays when I want to drive to see friends or help Jamie with something but he drives me to most of the jobs anyway. I don't think he'll ever need me to drive. Plus, I hate driving and prefer public transit. 

I prefer autonomous vehicles too. I'm not scared of them, I embrace them. I don't need notes because physical writing is better for memory and reference anyway because otherwise your notes are just forgotten in a barrage of useless notes on your phone which you never look back to anyway. I don't need my clock app because I have a watch and an alarm clock. I don't need my calculator. I don't need my reminders because I write things down. I don't need my calendar either because I keep track of the day by writing down what I need to do tomorrow and what went well today for work.

Unfortunately, I need my reminders to remind me to pay my bills on the 7th. However, I could simply just write that down on my large physical calendar for every seventh of the month. That would require me to look at my calendar which is much more useful and personal than my phone. As for my GPS when the time comes, I will have a car that has GPS engrained so I can delete that app from my phone. That leaves only my texts and my phone.

Important people call me for important things. They don't email me. My phone app can be in the background and I can have my ringer on blast if necessary. But honestly, no one is waiting for me. No one. And I can always give them my home phone to call in case I don't pick up. As for my text message. That is solely recreation. I don't even like talking to romantic interests because I am not truly interested. My ex and I broke up because of affiliation with other supposed romantic interests so now I am simply not interested. Plus, it's not like they will give me jobs. They won't help me be productive. They will only give me pleasures that will turn me into a consumer. I want to be a producer. Elon Musk is a producer. He doesn't need romantic interests. He simply does not. When he does have them, they get in the way, he becomes disinterested, people get hurt, he gets divorced. Forget it. I only look to my text messages for my one good friend who lives far away. He texts me now and again. And to be honest, I can't remember what we even text about. It's meaningless. When he calls, that's cool, but we soon run out of things to talk about. He is strictly a pen pal. We don't even get along in real life, I believe. So there, I don't need to text him anymore. It's no use. If he wants to talk and I'm not answering my texts, he can call me. Nothing important is ever texted without an eventual phone call. The phone calls are essential. That's it. I need nothing but that phone call app. I don't drive anywhere anyway.

Truth is, I will hear any phone call and any text. Also, any reminder, phone call, and text will be posted as a banner on my phone the next time I see it. And like I said, I don't need my GPS. I don't go anywhere anyway. And I will memorize routes with my brain when I get a job. I don't need my phone. I simply don't need my phone.

As for email on my computer, my ex doesn't message me anyway. And she doesn't want to. I should stop messaging her because it only leads to disappointment. I am only hurting myself. She can call me in the future if she ever wants. I use a website to write. I use LinkedIn to seek jobs but it doesn't help. Email only offers me job positions but I only receive disinterest back. So, it looks like I am free. My disinterest in the world and its disinterest in me has freed me. I am a free agent.

It is time to be a producer. It is time to make things. I have ideas for autonomous suturing, autonomous medicine. I will make things. It is time.

I have been rambling about nothing. I am going crazy. I must escape this isolation somehow.