"What do you mean, that's not your mother?" Kate whispered, as if someone might hear us.

I whispered right back "She just offered me the menu, and asked what I fancied"

Kate gasps "Maybe she found the Buddha this summer... or learnt boundaries. Perhaps she missed you and wants to change" she went on to reel off about twenty reasons why Moira may have changed.

"None of that explains why my Mother now smells like sweet citrus, replacing her heady perfume, or indeed why her colour palette has changed from black ... to... salmon pink"

"Dear god" Kate gasps again. "It's not possible Millie... is it?"

"That I just hugged..." and I paused, because saying it out loud sounded insane "Millie" and before Kate can even say anything I'm back tracking, like I've been talking like a lunatic. "Of course it's not Millie, she's dead. I don't know why I said that"

Kate was quiet.

"You still there" I asked her.

"I'm googling" she replied, tongue in her cheek as she clearly scrolled on her phone.

"Googling what" I ask "it's not like Google is going to tell you whose sat at this table. But, if it's not Millie, and I'm not hallucinating, than it's my Mother... and she's having a mental breakdown"

"I didn't notice this before" Kate whispered.

"What" I ask.

She quietly taps away on her phone "Katherine" I curse "share"

"Sorry, it's just I didn't notice the first time I googled her, how she's got this death notification in the paper, but no mention of a place to send flowers , or even a funeral. It's just a little odd. Probably nothing"

I hold my palm to my forehead and exhale, feeling the tension and the anxiety begin to form a headache "Honestly maybe it's me, maybe I'm just losing it. Last night I thought I saw a ghost, and now I'm seeing Millie in my Mother, which is no shock since they were identical freaking twins"

"Any tells" Kate asks.

"Tells" I ask.

"You know, twins might be identical on paper but there's always ways to tell them apart"

I thought back to the night my Mother told me about Millie, and the way she described the only way they differed physically. Millie had a small mole beside her ear, in the same place I did.

"I gotta go" I say, standing quickly and righting myself.

"Wait... Millie, we should talk this through. What does this mean? And where is Moira? Should I come down?" Kate asked, sounding a little panic stricken.

"No, don't come down" but before I can finish what I'm saying my phone rings.

"What's that beeping sound" Kate asked.

I hold my phone out in front of me and read the screen "it's Moira"

"I just got goosebumps" Kate freaked out. "Answer it Millie" she urged. "And stay in that bathroom until I get there"

The line cut, and I clicked to accept my mothers call. I am silent, listening to the line pick up and the silence her end.

"Millicent... are you okay..." Came her familiar voice, laced with apprehension.

I looked at myself in the mirror opposite, and walked quietly over to it. My light brown eyes studying myself, looking back at both Millie and Moira staring back at me.

"That depends" I finally speak. "On whether you are sat in an ice cream parlour right now..."

The silence that followed, it was deafening.

"Mother" I push. "Mother you better start talking"

"Where exactly are you" she asked.

"The ice cream parlour at the corner of Ninth street. The one with the cherry on the sign"

"I will be right there. Stay put. Do not entertain her lies" she says, and it's all she says. No explanation, no relief or comfort from the call. Nothing.

I place the phone in my shorts pocket, and I lean forward and hold onto the vanity, taking a moment to breathe before looking back to the mirror "What... the ... fuck" I whisper to myself. I am agitated now, and the anxiety has switched to anger, because if Millie is sitting in this ice cream parlour, then where the hell has she been, and more importantly why did she abandon her children, her daughter whom I now have guardianship over. Oooh, I was mad.

I leave the bathroom and ignore the young lady who had been waiting outside. She had clearly become agitated with me hogging the bathroom. I push by her angry little face and straight back to the booth I had vacated.

Shes sat there cool as a cucumber with a drink of soda in her hands, looking out of the window and seemingly relaxed.

I sit myself back down into the booth, folding my arms on the table, and I look straight at her "you're not dead" is all I can say.

She frowns, her dark brows coming together. "What" she asks.

I grind my teeth, aggravated by her poor attempt at disguise "Let's just hurry this along... why aren't you dead Millie"

"I'm not-" she begins to protest.

I glare at her, raising my eyebrows "Not Millie..." I finish for her "then I don't know who you are ... because you sure as shit aren't my Mother" I accuse, reaching over and brushing her dark hair aside to see the mole below her ear.

She sits back, removing my hand. She leans back against the leather booth behind her, resigned to the fact she's ruined it, and this little charade is over.

"I'm sorry" she says "I didn't want to have to lie to you my darling. I just wanted to see you once more, and find out how you turned out. You're beautiful my sweet girl" she says with a smile, trying to reach for me. I move out of her reach and she again sits back "Moira told me to stay away from you, but I can't do that. I'm your Mom, and it's my right to see you"

"You're my Mom" I repeat sarcastically "and what of Veda... are you her Mom too"

She shakes her head "Veda isn't anything to do with this. She is her fathers daughter"

"Her father is in prison" I practically spit at her "she's been living alone for months. Your fourteen year old baby has been alone. She thinks you are dead. Everyone does. What the fuck is wrong with you"

"Her father told her that. I never told anyone I was dead. He put it in the paper so people wouldn't know I left him. He preferred that to being left voluntarily"

"But you did abandon them" I remind her.

"He was evil" she tried to explain "they were always his kids, and never mine. He didn't let them bond with me. I didn't know he told them I was dead, and I didn't know he told Moira I was dead. I won't lie though, it worked out for me better that he did. I got to get out of here and just be free. Nobody even looked for me. You were all better off making up your own ideas of me, and thinking I was gone. Surely that was better than them thinking I abandoned them"

I frown now, it's my turn to be confused. "What is wrong with you" I accuse "if he was evil like you say, you should never have left your children with him"

"Millie it's not so cut and dry. I was mentally destroyed by that man. He controlled every aspect of my entire existence. I've never been free my entire life. I was controlled by my father, and then my sister, and then finally my husband. I desperately wanted to just breathe, and to live a life for me. I couldn't stand to be walked over and controlled a second longer. I honestly feared for my life. So, one day. I left him. I walked away, and I filed for divorce. He would have hunted me down and killed me if he could have. The only reason he finally signed the divorce papers was because he met someone else, and she wanted to get married. Not that she lasted either. He was too messy to be with"

"Then, where have you been" I ask.

Before she can answer, Moira Dawson, my Mother appears, all in black as expected. She looked furious, and her black silk blouse fell down her wrists as she leant down over Millie with gritted teeth "I told you, to stay away from her" she said with a tone that would make anyone else shudder.

"Moira" she greeted "I said no such thing" she reminded her, taunting her with her relaxed reply.

My mother looked to me "Millicent let's go" she said gesturing to the door.

I couldn't believe this, she wasn't even going to explain. I was sat in front of my supposed dead birth Mom and she wasn't even going to comfort me with an explanation.

"No" I say defiantly, looking from one to the other. "I'm not leaving here until I hear it all"

"She's lying" my Mother said, "let's go home and talk about it privately" she urged.

I dug in my heels "no" I say, moving up and patting the seat beside me "sit" I order, using her own defiant tone.

My Mother looks at me, surprised. I had never defied her in such a public way.

"Millicent" she threatens.

"Moira" I threaten back.

"Don't do that" she says, sitting down as asked "don't you Moira me. I won't have it"

"Don't Millicent me then, like a five year old"

"Wow" Millie says, looking at us both opposite her "you are alike"

"Shut up" both me and Moira say at once.

Millie's eyes widen "Case and point"

"Talk" I demand from them both. "How long have you known she's been alive" I ask my Mother.

"Two months" Millie answers.

Moira furiously denies it "that's a lie. It's been six weeks maximum"

"What's two weeks" Millie spits back, leaning across the table and folding the menus under her elbows. "You always have to be right" she accused.

"I always know, what's right. It's six weeks Millicent. I have only known the summer" she informs me "you have to believe me"

"How did you find out" I ask.

"When I came to see you in Oklahoma. I bumped into an old neighbour in the town. You had gone to grab lunch. She said it was nice to see me so soon. I was confused, I hadn't seen her in twenty years. She told me she had seen me six months previous. I had stayed in town for a week, apparently, at the inn, attended a funeral and been seen around town from the locals. I denied it of course, but she was insistent. She reminded me that I told her I was in Vancouver, living by the coast in a little town now. I of course knew that wasn't me. There was only one other person it could have been. That's why I went to Vancouver. I found her"

"I'm confused" I say, holding my head in my hands "you went back to Oklahoma" I asked Millie opposite. "I wouldn't have thought you would want to be seen there... or even want to be anywhere near the place"

"Yes, I did. First time since I left when you were a baby" she answers honestly. "I wasn't expecting Moira to ever return, she hated that place. My mistake to be so careless"

"You did know she thought you were dead" I whisper to myself.

Moira looked hurt, she looked away from her. "How my sister could prefer me to think she was dead... you are heartless" she accused.

"Moira ... you are the heartless one. You took Millie away from me when I had wanted her back. I came and asked for her back when she was two years old. You told me I wasn't fit to raise her... you promised once a year I could see her... but any more than that and it wouldn't be beneficial to anybody. You are the reason my child didn't grow up with me"

Moira rolled her eyes "lies" she spat back. "You wanted her for the money... just like you are here now... not for her, for money"

I was lost, completely and utterly lost.

"What money" I ask.

They look at each other as if they could kill one another.

"Your fathers" Moira finally revealed.

"My..., you mean that monster" I ask.

Moira shakes her head "another lie" she throws out there.

Millie looks like she could punch her "He wasn't innocent" she throws out in defence of herself.

"But neither was he a sexual predator like you had me believe" Moira throws back.

"I hate this" I shout.

They are stunned into silence "Millicent" my mother tries to soothe. I stand and hold myself together "please sit back down" she begs me.

She placed her hand on mine "please"

The waiter came over to take orders with a smile upon his face, he took one look at my Mothers stern expression, and turned away.

"Mother move aside and let me out" I tell her "now" I urge.

The bell on the door goes, and I look over, seeing sunshine herself, and relief floods through me. Kate is here.

She hurried through the tables, and appeared at the side of our booth. Both Moira and Millie look up as she approached.

"Whilst this is absolutely terrifying" Kate says wide eyed, and looking at them both in shock "I am going to have to insist you let Millie out of that booth Moira"

"Katherine this is family business...,run along" My mother says unbothered, like Kate was a mosquito buzzing around, that she could squash in a heartbeat.

Kate stands her ground. She looks like she's about to sweat out of her shirt at any moment "don't come for my blood Moira... but I'm
Not a teenager anymore. You don't scare me. I want you to let my friend out"

Bless Kate, she really did look terrified, despite her best effort not to be.

Moira shakes her head "No, This conversation isn't over" she states firmly.

"Please" Millie adds "My sister is rude, but correct. It's family business and I don't even know who you are"

Kate looks down at Millie "you've been dead for  a decade... you wouldn't"and she gestures for her to move "Budge up Ghoul" she orders "I'm not leaving"

Millie looks shocked, but I order her to do just that "Let her sit. Kate is my best friend. She's my family by choice. She can hear whatever it is you both want to say"

"What's the scoop" Kate asked, sitting, as Millie moved up. She checked out the menu not so subtly. "The story" she confirms looking up to us all"not the ice cream" and she drops the menu.

I roll my eyes "Millie isn't dead, Moira found out six weeks ago, and my father was apparently not a sexual predator after all"

"Wow" Kate says open mouthed.

"Shut your mouth before you catch flies" Moira ordered.

"Moira, you are so mean" Millie accused "and you wonder why I wanted to get away from you"

"And you are useless" My mother accuses right back. "You had four children and didn't raise one of them. Useless. You wasted your talent, your intelligence. You lied, you conned people, you conned me... your own blood"

"You wouldn't let me breathe" Millie raised her voice "Moira you sucked the life right out of me, and then Michael did the same thing. I hated you both for that. For what you did to me"

"I want to know about my father" I ask, making them stop their back and forth and focus back to me "is this something to do with the letter that got left for me at Kates. Is he trying to make contact with me"

Kate pulled an envelope out of her purse "I have it" she said, offering it to me across the table.

Millie snatched it out of her hand and feverishly tore it open.

"Hey" I argue, ripping it out of her hands.

She leant forward over the table to snatch it back but my Mother slapped her hand away "don't you dare" she said sternly.

My mother held Millie at bay whilst I unfolded the letter and slowly read its contents.

Everyone watched me closely. "He's dead" I say breathlessly "it was his funeral, wasn't it" I ask, looking over the paper to her.

"Yes" Moira answered for her.

"What did he leave you" Millie asked urgently.

"There we have it" Moira said with a knowing smile "she wants your inheritance"

I look over the paper to her again "you want this cheque" I ask, pulling it out and dangling it in front of her.

Her eyes widen and she lunges for it. I whip it away. "Go back to hell" i say through gritted teeth.

"Both of you" I say, looking to my Mother.

She tries to defend herself but I climb over the table. Kate assists me to stand up and jump down. I get to my feet, Kate holds my arm and steadies me as I turn back to them. There they were, the Dawson genetics that I had been created from, both sat together with identical expressions of concern.

Moira wanted my forgiveness, but Millie wanted my money.

"I don't want this" I say, gesturing between them. "I don't want any part of it. Take the name back, if this is what it means to be a Dawson... I give it back gladly"

"Let me explain Millicent... about your father" Moira begs.

"Not now" I shout back to her "I can't cope with any more"

"Come on" Kate says, ushering me away "let's get you out of here"

We left them behind, arguing with each other, their raised voices only being silenced as the door swung closed.

Kate wrapped one arm around me and walked me to her car "Let's go back to mine... I have some wine. I think this requires a bottle"

***

Kate opened her apartment door, and we were met by the sound of thundering feet as Norman ran from the bedroom toward us. I smiled, despite it being hard to, and I leant down, happy to see him.

"Hello Norm" I greeted, smoothing my hand over his head.

His purrs were loud and continuous as he rubbed around my ankle and leant into the fuss.

"He's never greeted me like that in his life" Kate observes. "He really did get attached to you in that van"

"I think we both did" I agree. Looking to him more affectionately than I ever had. His little tabby head rubbed at my hand.

"Come on, go sit down" Kate suggested, gesturing to the couch. "I'll get the wine"

I moved to the couch, took off my shoes and scooped my legs up beside me. Norman jumped up and walked over me, flopping in my lap and purring at me right in my face. "I see you" I fuss him "no need to be confrontational"

I patted him until his eyes closed and his purring soothed to a constant rhythm on my lap.

"Here" Kate said taking the seat beside me and handing me a wine glass. It was filled three quarters of the way, with red.

I took a sip, letting the alcohol run down my throat as I swallowed slowly. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"So, the Dawson twins are both quite alive but hate one another... and it's your father whose dead" she asks.

I nod "I know. It's absolutely fucked"

"What did the letter say" Kate asked.

"It was from his oldest son" I reveal "my half brother I guess. My birth father left me money in his will. He wanted me to have it"

"Wow, So, he's generous, he never forgot you, and he wasn't a monster" Kate asks.

"Apparently not" I return "though I'm yet to hear that story. I honestly hate to think what the truth is. If he wasn't a bad person, and they took me from him. Kate that changes things completely"

"I wonder how he never found you, and yet his son did" Kate asked.

"He says in the note, his family own half the town still. He got my address from the camp site I stayed at. I had to fill it in, on the paperwork"

"How did he know you were there?" Kate asks.

"Apparently it's not every day two Dawsons are spotted in town after two decades of absence. They tracked me down to the campsite to talk about their dad, he and his sister... but I had already left. I guess I now know why Moira was so quick to have us leave"

"Moira had no idea Millie was alive" she says out loud "that's pretty messed up of Millie to do that to her too. I should think Moria's all over the place"

"Millie said she didn't know, that everyone assumed she was dead. I find that hard to believe. It sounded like she knew"

"Me too" Kate agreed, sipping her wine.

My phone beeped in my pocket. I pulled it out and placed my wine glass down on the table.

It's Wren. I had completely forgot to text her in the commotion.

W- Are you okay?!
W- 😕
W- Millie?!

I quickly typed back.

M- Baby I'm sorry, yes I'm here. I will explain when I come back. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I love you, things just got chaotic as soon as I arrived.

I looked to Kate and my eyes filled with tears.

"I forgot to text Wren that I got here okay. It's the first thing I told her I would do. I already fucked up. She texted me two hours ago"

Kate reached over and soothed my arm "Millie you are freaking out unnecessarily. She's not gonna be mad when she hears what happened. She's gonna wanna kick someones ass but it won't be yours"

The ring of the buzzer made us both jump "if that's the ghoul" Kate threatened as she stood up and walked over to the phone and door monitor. She peeked at the screen and buzzed someone up without even turning around.

"Who is it" I ask, panicked at her lack of concern.

She opened the door, and turned to me with a smile "it's your library book... returning itself" she revealed with a smile.

Wren appeared in the doorway, looking like she had run up the stairs "What happened" she asked "are you okay" she was frantic.

She looked to Kate nervously, not knowing how she would react to have her show up here again "Is it okay I'm here" she asked her.

"Of course" Kate said squeezing her shoulder "come in"

I started to tear up as soon as Wren walked over. She saw the tears and wrapped me up in her arms. Taking the place of Kate. "Babe, what happened" she said kissing my cheeks and smoothing my hair from my face. "Is your Mom okay" she asked. "I went there too but nobody was home"

I shook my head, but I couldn't speak. Kate sat down opposite. Norman Vacated my lap and twitched his tail in annoyance to be parted from his sleeping spot again, and instead joined Kate on the armchair.

I let Kate do the talking as she filled Wren in on all the afternoons events. Wren was shocked, and angry... and then calming and soothing as she held me and let me be the one to break a little. We all talked it through, for an hour, back and forth and in between.

I needed that, for her to show up for me, and I didn't even know it until she came through that door... but it meant everything.

"I knew something was wrong" she kept saying "I just got in the car and had to come find you"

"I'm sorry I worried you" I say, leaning into her embrace. "I know you are going through so much with Mary's loss. I just didn't want to dump anything on you today. You had enough going on"

"Babe, it's not dumping on me... it's sharing with me. I need to be there for you. I want to be there for you. I don't care what's going on with me, I need to be the one you call. Please"

"Of course. I'm sorry I hesitated" I apologise.

"This is lovely" Kate said, leaning on her elbows and looking between us with a look of affection.

"The family trauma I'm experiencing...or the fact I'm here with Wren" I ask sarcastically.

She throws a cushion at me from behind her back, it hits the arm of the couch and springs off onto the carpet. "You guys...here... communicating... together... and the love I see between you. It's lovely. I'm here for it, petitioning for it to be permanent"

"It is" Wren says confidently.

She looks sideways to me and offers an adorable smile "right" she asks.

"Absolutely" I reply, leaning over and kissing her softly.

"Shall I order take out" Kate suggests, as we parted.

"Yes" Wren replies eagerly, "I'm starved"

"Greek" Kate asks with a grin.

"It's the only thing I would consider"I return, lacing my hand around Wrens waist and pulling her to me.

As Kate moved to get the menu, the letter from my half sibling fell from the table and drifted to the carpet. Wren leant down and picked it up, the cheque too, and before she could hand it back her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open at the figure printed on it.

"Seven hundred thousand reasons to marry me" I joked.

"Holy shit" Kate gasped as she ran over and looked. "Ahhhhhhhh" she screamed.

"Millie" Wren squealed "Babe..." then she coughed and smirked "or should I say...sugar momma" she said amused, with an eyebrow wiggle.

"I might not cash it" I confess.

They each deflated on the spot, and looked to me as if I was insane.

"Let me find out about him first. I want the truth before I take this man's money. I don't want what's not mine. I don't want dirty money either"

"Agreed" Wren said, kissing my forehead. "Wanna go see your mother and find out once and for all" she asked.

I nodded slowly "If you come with me"

Wren took my hand "I got you" she promised, and she looked into my eyes and smiled "Wherever you go. Whatever happens... I got you"

I squeezed her hand, and leant forward to capture her lips. The kiss was magical. It was dreamy. It had been missed.

"Whilst this is adorable and all" Kate said behind us "I have to break it to you that Moria's calling" she announced, looking to my phone on the table.

Our lips parted, and for a moment we stared at each other, before Kates urgency broke the moment.

I looked away and picked up the phone "Mother" I answered.

"Millicent please" she begged "I have to talk to you. I can't leave it like this"

"I'm coming over" I replied.

"Thank you" she said relieved "Thank you sweetheart"

I clicked off and looked to Wren and Kate "Let's go and find out the truth"

"Let's" they both agreed.

My origins were once again thrown up in the air, and my identity was blurry. I needed to know what my story was, so that I could finally deal with it. I had a teenager at home who deserved answers too, and I felt like it was my responsibility to take them home to her. How would I ever explain this to Veda?! It pained me to think of how this would affect her when she found out. She too was dumped. It turned out that Vedas view of her Mom wasn't that skewed, the kid was right, she wasn't a good person.

This time, as I faced my Mother for answers, and looked once again into my past, it was with Wrens hand in mine. A unit. Together.

We were on the cusp of our forever, and we were about to do it... we were about to jump!