As the whistle blew on an intense game, Clark threw herself at me to celebrate our final win of the summer. I lifted her as her legs wrapped around my waist and our sweaty body's merged for a second.

"Great goal Nomikos" she praised as she jumped down and beat her fist into my shoulder.

"Great assist" I praise back, rubbing the place she had pummelled below my shoulder. "Dream team is back in action"

Clark blew out hot air causing her blonde sweaty wisps of hair to blow upward. We both peeled off our jerseys, throwing them over our shoulders and walking across the pitch, following the team back to the showers.

"I can't wait to get back to it" she said, reaching down and picking up a soccer ball and drop kicking it halfway across the pitch. "This season is it Nomikos... beast mode activated... take no prisoners type shit"

I look to the sidelines and catch the scouts observing us all walk away. "You think they will call anyone up" I ask her, leaning in and talking quietly to be discreet.

Clark looked over and carried on walking "I hope so. I wouldn't mind a shot at the national team"

"A dream" I muse.

Clark smiled and nudged me off of my feet playfully "you actually want it now" she asked.

"I do" I confess, and I nudge her back harder. She stumbled sideways before grabbing me and lifting me off of my feet as I laughed. She threw me onto the inflatable crash pad we had been using earlier that day.

"You gonna have to fight me for it" she teased.

I struggled off of the crash pad and chased after her as she took off to the changing rooms, dodging between girls to avoid me.

Clark was the light relief I had needed in my day and the familiar here at camp that made it a home from home. Without her, it may have taken me longer to find my feet, but with her I had found them and taken off running... quite literally.

It's hard to imagine almost a year later, how we had ever slept together that one time, because now she felt so familiar to me, like family, that I couldn't and wouldn't be able to ever go there again. Sure, Clark was gorgeous, but she was friend zoned to the furthers corner of the zone and nothing she did to try and pin me down again would work. I don't think she would anyway, because Clark had bedded fifteen percent of the camp over a six week period.

For the first time this year, I was celibate, and the need to bury myself and my pain in girls had gone. I didn't want to do that anymore, it didn't help, and it only made things messy. I had already slept with the worst person I could have, my ex... Ava. That was a poor decision. Ava had feelings for me, and I had ignored all of that when we slept together after a night out before we left for the summer. I felt guilty for my part in that, and the texts from her since, they made me feel like I had led her on, and now her hopes for a reconciliation were too high. We were not getting back together.

Ava was my first love, but unlike my family history... my first love was not my truest love or my lasting love... in-fact it was what it was for many and most people...just the jumping off place.

Ava may have been the one to take my heart first, but her actions after were the reason I had withdrawn it and taken it back. Right now at this very moment, my heart was in the hands of another, right back in Portland where I had agreed for it to stay, with Millicent Dawson.

When my grandmother had text me a week or so into my stay here, I had asked her if Millie got the job I helped her apply for at the school. My grandmother had told me she had, but she couldn't find any accommodation, because she had been travelling back across country and not made the applications in time. It had taken me two seconds to type back "How about the guest house?!"

I hadn't thought about the repercussions of having her there, or how if she didn't want me this could be the most awkward place for her to stay. I had only thought about how I wanted her to be close by when I returned, so that I had the opportunity to see her again.

I didn't quite realise that she was already on the way, and that she and my family would build such a bond without me even being present. Usually with partners you had to drag them along to family events where they never felt 100% comfortable, but Millie just fit, right from the jump.

I was returning home for the last week of summer, in two days. I was excited to see the family, and catch up with Cam and Olympia... but my overwhelming need was to set my eyes on Millie and talk. It would start with my text.

W- Hi, I'm sorry this text is late. Months late. I didn't know what to say then, because I wasn't any better and had nothing positive to tell you. Today, I have so much to tell you Mill. I'm in therapy, and working hard. I feel like I can finally breathe again... until I remember how I've treated you. I shouldn't have vanished without any word. I'm sorry. I hope you know though that you've never left my mind. I hope we can catch up one day when I'm home. If you want to?. Love always, Wren.

***

Clark and I were the last out into the hall as the coaches sat us down for the last group meeting of the summer training camp. The group was large, girls from all over the country. If I had to count them all I wouldn't be expecting a group larger than a hundred. We were picked carefully, and covered every position on the pitch.

The senior coach stood and straightened out his ball cap. Smart for him was swapping out his tracksuit bottoms for cargo pants. Nothing else about his outfit changed. He was sportswear smart.

"I wanted to just thank you all for your hard work this summer. That game today was a reflection of how far you girls have come,
and how much raw talent we have here. You wouldn't have missed the presence of the scouts" he asks, and he nods as he looks around to us all.

Clark nudges me with her knee "here we go" she whispers.

"The national teams under eighteen and under twenty three are recruiting ... looking to fill the roster and check out up and coming talent. I'm happy to say with our guidance, there are offers coming" he announced. "For official training with the current squad"

The hall filled with chatter and excitement, and even the coaches who were sat couldn't help but smile.

"I'm gonna puke" Clark whispers excitedly.

"Those offers for under eighteens will go by you and your parents together on pick up. For the under twenty threes... those offers come by the end of today. Don't worry you will be called over to the office discreetly"

"I feel sick" I return to an excited Clark.

"Gonna pee myself" she replied. "You think we stand a chance" she asked turning to meet my gaze.

"I don't know" I hesitate as I look around at the talent around us. There were many other strikers just like me, but for Clark... it felt like a given. She stood out more than anyone out there. I would put money down on her being picked.

Clark had it all, natural talent, striking looks and a big personality that matched the way she threw herself into every game with drive and a hunger for the win. Sure she got a little too hungry sometimes and got carded more than anyone else on the pitch, but she just had that spark that made her the best.

"You will be called any moment" I reassured her. "You're the GOAT. I don't think I stand a chance"

She shook her head and pulled me under her arm affectionately "baaaa" she bleats like a goat "If I'm in. You are!" She says in a weird goat voice that makes me laugh.

Sure enough, not even an hour later, Clark disappeared into the offices. It took another hour before she came out and back flipped across the hallway with the largest smile on her face.

"I'm in" she said excitedly as she spotted me and dragged me over to an empty table in the cafeteria. "Training is the weekend after next in California"

"I didn't get the call" I let her know.

She frowns "yet".

"It's okay... I didn't think I would. Maybe next year" I say trying not to sound too disappointed.

Another hour later, I was resigned to the fact that I had left it too late to pour my heart and commitment into soccer. I should have been more dedicated earlier, and worked harder on our first season.

The surprise I would feel as my phone buzzed with a message to come up to the office, it was overwhelming. When all felt lost and disappointment was heavy, I got the call up.

"The under twenty threes need a striker like you Wren. If you are up for the challenge and keen to work hard... then we want you to come train with us"

In that moment, any feeling I had still had of not being enough... vanished.

I had worked for this, and bled sweat and tears for it, and on my own I had achieved something I thought once was impossible.

I had made the national teams official training days. The first person I would call, was my Moms.

The call had been filled with deafening excitement, love and pride.

I needed that, to feel like I was back with a bang...

What followed was the return of my confidence, my drive, my passion and my love once again, of who I was to my core. The confidence in myself returned slowly over the summer, and after that news it was cemented.

Wren Nomikos, beloved daughter, sister, friend, team mate... and soon...professional soccer player. One day you could also add national treasure to that list...just like my Mom.

The man that provided half of my DNA, he had no claim over any of it, not me, not my talent and not my place on this team. I had achieved it all despite of him. He would be maddened by the fact his second name didn't make that team, and the name on my back and known on my jersey...was Nomikos... my Moms pride... not his.

It was this day that I made the team training that I left behind the bulk of trauma that Max had inflicted. With continued therapy his hold on my self worth weakened, until he no longer had a grip on me at all.

The one person left I had to tell, and longed to share my news with... was Millie.

I would return home, and find an excuse to go to my grandparents house as much as possible before I returned to college.

Forever was calling me home. A home that existed in Millie Dawson.