It's only after I scored the first goal, in the final five minutes of the first half against Colorado, that I looked up briefly to the family. I scanned quickly, seeing everyone but Moira, and Millie, the one face I was looking for.

The five minutes played on, and Colorado were winning currently with two goals. One in the tenth minute and the other three minutes before mine. My goal was a sucker punch to their confidence, and a boost to ours. Those last five minutes we dominated, and I knew we would come out the second half with the same determination to win.

Colorado's desperation to block our attempts at an equaliser before the half time whistle made them frustrated and stupid. Their younger defender on the right where Clark was sprinting forward with the ball, came at her with a slide tackle that threw her up in the air.

Demitra was heckling the poor tackle from the stands. She could be heard over the crowd, as per.

The defence player received a yellow card, for a poor tackle, and once Clark was up, she limped off the pitch with our medic.

I ran over "you okay"

Clark winced "I think I'm okay. Coach wants me off just in case"

I nodded and squeezed her shoulder "Rest up. See you in a minute"

The game went on, and the ref marked the spot for a free kick. We were only two minutes away now from the end of the game. Alex took it, she was our set piece princess. She curled a ball from the corner like no other, and her delivery to her desired player up pitch, was smooth.

We all took our places. Colorado's defence were up my butt, knowing how close this free kick was to goal. This could go two ways, either Alex was about to kick a screamer into the goal herself, or she was looking for me, to take it through and kick it home.

Alex signalled to me, her fingers brushed her temple, and I knew then to run left to intercept it. I watched that ball like a hawk, as her right leg shot forward, and the ball flew directly where she had signalled, and at the perfect height for me to try out my new header technique.

I leapt up, the defence were seconds behind in leaping up to block me, enough time for that beautiful ball to connect with my temple as I flicked my head sideways, sending it directly into the top corner of the net, the goalies glove barely skimming it.

The stadium went up, and my team ran at me and patted my back. Alex lifted me off of the grass "Nice assist" I told her with a fist bump as she dropped me back to my feet.

The ref let us play on until the ball was kicked out, and then the first half was called. I lifted my jersey and used it to wipe my sweaty face. I looked once again up into the crowd and couldn't see Millie or her Mother. Where was she?! She missed both of my goals. And with that realisation, my mood entirely changed. I dropped my head glumly and walked off with the team.

***
I sat on the bench beside the food truck for five minutes, not able to even move. I looked over the paperwork again and again. My mind was whirling with scenarios, and wondering how this would all end. I had to tell Veda, firstly that her brother was back in town, and secondly, that he would like her home. I didn't know how she would react, perhaps she would want to go. I had only considered myself, but really my focus should have been Veda, and what would make her happiest. My only concern was, that Veda was fifteen, and she may want to go back, but was she old enough to understand that it might not be safe enough to. If Charlie was only back in town until he was again deployed, then Veda would be right back in the same spot in a few months, with a grandmother who didn't know what day it was or whether she was even safe. Why uproot her again?! When she was in school here, safe, loved, and happy?! I guess that was the thing, Charlie didn't know that. If I put myself in his shoes, perhaps it was quite the shock, to return and find your house empty and your siblings gone, not to mention the older sister you have never met had taken your baby sister out of town. I am Millie's daughter, the one Veda said they were made to feel was loved more than them. If Veda heard that, then Charlie heard more. He might even hate me, or resent me still. There was so much to say, and to share, and in its absence, pain and resentment had created their own narration. I had to meet Charlie in person and talk about this, there wasn't time though, to get to New Hampshire and talk before this court date. I would have to suffer it, and it's consequences, but I wouldn't go down without a fight if it swayed in Charlie's favour. I had already made up my mind, that I would fight for her, for her safety, and for her future.

"Millicent" My mother called over the little courtyard, circled in food trucks. "There you are"

I looked up, barely able to speak, my lips numbed, and my eyes a little red from tears.

My Mother ran over and threw herself down beside me "What happened" she asked urgently. "Did someone hurt you" she asked, grabbing my jaw and assessing my pained expression.

"No" I say shaking her off.

Her hands come down, and instead of falling into her lap, she reached for the envelope "what's this"

I handed it to her, and watched as she inspected the papers, taking out her designer glasses and perching them on her nose.

"I see" she says quietly "I was worried this might happen"

"You were" I asked "I wasn't" I confess. "I was naively living in this world where I got to keep her... I got to keep my little sister and make sure she got to an adult safely, with clean clothes, and food in her belly. Never having to worry where her adult and guardian was because she was safe in the knowledge that it was me" and I began to cry again, feeling the weight of this situation.

My mother placed her glasses down into her lap with the papers, and she put her arm around me, holding me close "We will sort this out my darling. There's no court in this land whose going to grant him the final custodianship, not over you. He's in the army, and he's regularly out of the country. He isn't married or settled down, and he's living in his grandmothers house. Where as you" she begins.

I sit up "where as I, I am living in Wrens grandmothers guest house... also not mine. I have no lease to prove I rent it either, because I'm staying as a guest. I am not married or settled down. I have a job that's not permanent, and my relationship with Veda is new. I might be her blood and she mine, but we didn't grow up together, and when you look at it in black and white mother ... I'm not looking her best bet either"

My Mother shook her head "all things we can change. You have the money and the means to buy a house, and the education and ability to get yourself a permanent job for after Fall break. I wouldn't advise marrying Wren just to say you're settled down, it's not quite the romantic proposal, but we can certainly fix the rest"

We sat there for another half an hour, my Mother tried to soothe my worries and concerns, and her arm never left me, holding me the entire time to her as she tried to make it okay for me to breathe again. In that moment she was the maternal Mother I had sometimes missed. I needed her, and she showed up.

"We need to go back up for the game" I said, once I heard the whistle blow at the end of the first half "Wren will have noticed I'm not there, and Veda too. She doesn't like when I'm out of sight for too long"

"Okay" My Mother agrees, releasing me from her embrace "let's get those drinks and go back up. I think Veda could do with a vegan hot dog, she was whinging about being hungry before I even came down"

"Good idea" I agreed, as we got back in the queue for the food truck.

My Mother stepped up and made the order, one coffee, three sodas, and three hotdogs with ketchup, mustard, and one with extra onions.

"Are you having a hot dog?" I asked surprised. My mother once described hot dogs as dumpster food, that she wouldn't even feed her dog, if she owned one.

"No" she guffawed as if that was ridiculous "of course not. One for you because you never feed yourself, one for Veda because she's a hungry teenager who I'm over hearing moan, and one for Katherine with extra onions"

I did crack a little smile then, just a little one "You got Kate lunch" I asked. "And you remembered she liked a ridiculous amount of onions"

My Mother took the takeaway coffee cup and turned back to me "Don't say it like that" she argued "I just don't want her to keep talking over the game. If I hear one more thing about that boyfriend Kai... Im going to drop down off of the stands in despair, head first onto the pitch, and gladly die. If she's got a hot dog in her mouth I will live to see another day... and so will she"

My Mothers dark humour was just the antidote to the despair I myself had been feeling. I had to put on a display in a moment in front of Veda so that she didn't notice there was a problem. I would talk to her tonight and tell her about Charlie, it was important that she called him, to atleast let him know she was fine.

***
I was sat in my seat eating the hot dog, with Veda and Kate, when Wrens team came back out. She looked up instantly, searching for me. I stood up and waved with my spare hand, and her smile as she caught sight of me was adorable. I could tell she must have noted my absence, because the relief was evident when she spotted me.

The game was at two all at the start of the second half, but by the end of it Wrens team were winning at three, two. It was a tense last few minutes as Colorado tried to equalise, and they almost did with two near misses before the whistle blew full time.

"They did it" Olivia cheered "More points for us"

"That was a fun game" Kate said, grabbing her jacket and pulling it back on "other than the hot flushes I was getting in that second half. I don't know what's wrong with me"

"Menopause" Veda asked.

Moira laughed and high fived her "Rather you than me" she poked at Kate.

Kate looked mortified "I am not menopausal Veda. I'm twenty four years old" she argued. "I went to high school with Millie"

Veda looked shocked "Are you. Fucking hell Kate... I thought you were at-least thirty four"

"Language" Both me and my Mother told her.

She frowned "sorry"

Kate pointed at my Mother "and, You, you are the one who's likely to be menopausal. Not me, so I don't know why you are laughing Moira"

My Mother looked amused "Dawsons don't hit it until we are already fifty. It's a family curse. Every generation of my family until me, the mother had her last baby at forty seven years old. Mostly accidents, and Mostly because they thought their eggs would be scrambled by then"

Kate looked amused right back "So there's a chance that your womb isn't as hostile as anyone would presume, and another Dawson is a possibility"

She knew my Mother would be horrified at the thought, and she was right. My Mother looked disgusted "absolutely not. I've done my bit for society. I can't think of anything worse that diapers and babies in my forties. I'm done with that"

"Well good" Veda said between them "because you are far too old"

My Mother glared at her, slowly lifting her shades up her nose until her glare was hidden. "I'll pretend you didn't say that"

I wondered if Avery still wanted a family, because surely my Mothers response wouldn't be what she wanted to hear.

"Let's go down and see Wren" I suggest "before we have to leave"

"Yes. Let's go see our striker" My Mother agreed "leave this startling conversation behind us.

"Can I too" Olivia asked "I'd love to meet the team"

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind" I reply, leading everyone down the steps to the main building.

We meet Wren in the corridor, she was waiting for us, or rather me. I didn't think she expected to see the entire crew. Truth was I was creating a buffer between us, because I didn't quite know how to tell her, that this was all happening. She looked so happy with todays win, that I couldn't even think of telling her right now. I would call her tonight after I had spoken with Veda.

"You did great" I told her, reaching for, and hugging her. "Congratulations on the win baby"

"Thanks" she replied.

She didn't let me hug her for long. She pulled back and had questions. I could see them. Luckily Olivia and her over zealous fangirling took her attentions from me.

Wren took Veda, Olivia, Kate and My Mother in to meet the team quickly. I waited outside and checked my phone for any more news. There was nothing.

When they came out they were all happy and laughing, high on the excitement of meeting the team, especially after a win when all the team were singing to a team playlist and dancing around the changing rooms.

"That was perfect" My Mother told Wren "thanks so much for allowing us into your sanctuary"

"Some of those girls are hoooot" Veda blushed.

My Mother and I looked at each other, and then tried not to smile.

"So, what's the plan for the rest of the day" Wren asked, looking to me expectantly "Are you staying for dinner"

I shook my head "I can't. I have to get Veda home. She's got school work to do"

"Oh" Wren said disappointed "okay. Next time". She asked.

I smiled and leant in with a reassuring kiss "Next time. I promise. I love you ...okay"

Wren nodded reluctantly as I kissed her temple "Okay"

"Tell me you love me" I asked her.

Everyone walked up the corridor and gave us a moment.

"I love you" Wren whispered as she leant into my body, resting her chin on my chest, her light blue eyes looking over my features "but I know somethings wrong"

I was going to disagree, and hide it, but I had sworn never to lie or keep a secret from her. I checked behind me to see that Veda wasn't too close and then I looked back to Wren and nodded.

"I got served whilst you were playing" I told her.

Wren frowned "what do you mean" she asked, removing her chin from my chest, and instead holding my arms in front of her.

"Vedas Older brother. He wants her back in New England. He wants custody of her. And he's legally got more right to do that then me"

Wren took that in and thought about it for a few seconds "He can't just take her back surely" she asks.

"I have an emergency court hearing Monday. It means that Veda might have to go back to the East coast"

Wren held her hand over her mouth in surprise "Oh my god Millie I'm so sorry. That's so far away. What will you do if he gets her back?! Does she know?"

I had an idea what I would have to do, and it involved something I knew would break Wrens heart.

I took her hand, and gently smoothed my thumbs over the back of her knuckles. "She doesn't know. I'm going to tell her tonight. Wren, I may have to go there" I try and explain.

"To visit" she asked "of course we would visit her"

"Not to visit baby, to live"

Wren shook her head "No, why would you do that" she asked confused "surely you wouldn't have to do that. We can visit... a lot"

I took a deep breath "because I need to know she's okay. I need to prove that I have her best interest at heart. If I have to return her to New Hampshire until the case is heard by the judge and a permanent decision made... then I'm going with her. I can't abandon her Wren. It can take over half a year. She's my little sister. Imagine if this was Josephine.., or Bastion"

Wren nodded, but her entire body seemed to slump down, and her lip wobbled slightly. She sucked it up, and tried to force herself to be strong, but the moment I pulled her back into my arms I felt her tears against my chest.

"Shhhh, it's okay" I whispered whilst stroking her hair "We will be okay"

"Millie I can't lose you" she whispered into my shirt.

"You aren't. I'm going to make this work. We will make this work. It won't be forever if it has to be that way. I promise it's not forever"

"I love you so much" she said, looking up, and reaching up to kiss me. "And I know you have to do it. I would do the same"

I cupped her cheek and kissed her softly "I love you too. This is only a moment Wren, a moment in forever. It will all be over before we even know it, and I'll come back... god willing with Veda too"

"Promise me you will come back" she begged me. "If it has to be that way, then promise you will come back"

I stroked her cheek, and brushed her tears away "I promise... that if I have to leave... that I'll also return"

"Come on" Kate called down the hallway "I need a wee"

None of them could see Wrens tears, luckily. I was blocking their view of her.

"And I need a quiet dark room" My Mother added.

I ignored them and stroked Wrens cheeks, until she calmed down, and then I kissed her lips and her nose, and smiled "One thing I know for sure Wren Nomikos... is that we are going to be fine. I'm yours, and nothing will change that, not distance or time..."

She kissed me again, her tears were salty against my lips. "Same baby, same" she whispered "okay you better go, go part Kate and your Mom before they fall out again. Safe drive home. Call me tonight okay. I want to know how Veda is, and you"

"I will. Go celebrate your win" I ordered, tapping her butt to lighten the mood. "Today is not the day for tears. Nothing is decided yet"

"Okay" she replied, hesitantly. "Drive home safe" she repeated.

She turned and walked back to the changing room, and I turned and walked back to my gang of odd balls.

"Let's go" I said, pushing Kate toward the exit before she wet herself. I used my guest pass to open the doors, and Kate sprinted off to the bathrooms like a track star, or rather a track star crab, one whom ran manically sideways with his arms arched upward.

"I'll go too before we drive home" Veda said, running after her.

"And me" Olivia agreed.

My Mother stopped beside me as we watched them all head into the bathroom. "Are you okay" she asked.

I turned and looked back to her "I will be" I assured her. "We all will be"