h u n d r e d t e n

"in other news," the reporter on tv started. the grandmother was only half paying attention to what they were saying, as she was beginning to doze off. but she gasped when they displayed a picture of a little boy for the entire country to see. "min jonghyun, three year old son of popular kpop idol group member bts' min yoongi, is still missing. police are currently investigating the child's mother areum. if you have any news as to the child's wehereabouts, please call the police as soon as possible."

befre they had even said the child's name, the grandmother already knew it was him from the picture. it was definitely her grrandson. she had been told by her daughter areum that yoongi gave his permission for them to have the child for a few weeks.

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so we talked all day on tuesday, but things didn't feel right. something just felt off to me. and i just had to ask him aboutt it. i said, "why are you being weird?" and he replied. "weird how?" and i said  "idk...like serious. like you dont want to talk to me. kinda like you're only replying to my texts out of courtesy."

and he said it was nothing. and i said "remember when we argued back in december? you said you knew i was mad because you know me? i'm the same. i know something's off. i can feel it because i know you."

and he said. "honestly yeah. but idk how to explain it." and i said "just try pls." and he said "i cant" and i said "why?" and  he said  "you know why." and i said "i really dont." so then he said. "i just...cant take it anymore. i dont want to lose you. but i also cant keep doing this." and i said "i agree. then what do you suggest?" and he said "i really dont know." and i said. "if there was a way for us to start over, from the beginning..." and he said. "yeah. but how do we do that?" and i said. "i dont know." and he said "maybe we should try being just friends for a while. maybe thats the problem with us rn."

i started crying. but i said. "if that is what you think will work, okay. we can be just friends."

so we agreed on that and i told him i had to go to sleep bc we both had work tomorrow. but i didn't sleep that night. i cried for hours. and when it was time to get up in the morning i felt hollow inside and i honestly wanted nothing more than to die. it was basically the end. it definitely was a break up.

-clary