It's sweet, it's sickening.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Author’s POV

Jeongguk was eating at the cafeteria when the bell rang, indicating the break was over. All soldiers rushed to the field, leaving him behind who rolled his eyes and continued to eat at a slow pace. He didn’t know why he was doing this either, but he was pleased with it.

Or maybe, he knew.

“Purposely eating slowly, Darling?” A familiar voice whispered against his nape unexpectedly, making Jungkook tense immediately knowing who it belonged to. If it weren’t for how close they were, he surely would have talked back. But Jimin was too near and the warm breath didn’t help him further. His abdomen stirred in uneasiness when he felt a cold hand slip around his waist in a tight grip. 

“Be a good boy for me and go line up in the field, hmm?” Jimin spoke lowly and lurched his hand down further, closing to Jungkook’s inner thigh as the younger stuttered in his words. 

“W-what are you doing?” 

Jimin chuckled deeply at that and Jungkook found himself drowning in the older’s voice that was much akin to the dark ocean. It was plaguing and tempting as much as he hates to admit it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying hard to calm down. Though they were alone in the meantime, someone literally could have walked in and seen him in this position; trapped around Jimin’s body. 

Just as the older noticed his mind filled with utterances, Jimin again cut in by squeezing Jungkook's thigh lightly before speaking. “What’s on your mind, Darling?”  

Jungkook shrugged the question, pretending the nickname and the way Jimin talked to him didn't make him lose his sanity and feel hot all over. “Finished your food faster, I wanted to see you on the field the moment I came. Or not…” The older trailed off, and Jungkook found himself awaiting the continuation of it as he patiently held still to listen to it. As if Jimin noticed the movement without speaking, he chuckled once again.

This man loves to chuckle, Jungkook concluded. Not that he will complain…  

He then left the statement halfway and stepped out, giving Jungkook time to get himself together. Feeling the empty space behind him, the younger looked to his left, watching Jimin walking away as he stared at the older’s back. Although he didn't finish what he said, his deep chuckle answered everything that Jungkook needed to know and that was enough for him. 

Suddenly, he doesn't know whether to be there early or late. 

Because as much he wanted to deny it, both of the options sounded amusing to him. 

Jimin was glaring by the time he had arrived at the field fifteen minutes later. And Jungkook could never be more pleased seeing the stern facial expression plastered on the older’s face. It makes him look more dominant and seductive for unknown reasons. Regardless, his abdomen stirred with tension when Jimin pinned him down with a heavy look. 

“You’re late, Lieutenant Jeon.” 

‘Fuck.’ Jungkook almost cursed out loud, feeling his legs tremble slightly at how cold Jimin addressed him. He never had seen the colonel look so pissed before. But here’s the thing, he never felt so turned on before too. He bit his lower lip when he saw that Jimin was walking towards him and stopped when their shoulder touched as the older whispered in his left ear.

“What did I tell you about being a good boy, hmm?” 

Jungkook’s heart leaped. 

“Come to my office after this.” Jimin spat harshly before looking at Jungkook sideways then stepped away, not even waiting for the Lieutenant’s response. Not that, Jungkook would disobey it… but still. 

He gulped. 

-

-

-

-

-

“Now…” Jimin trailed off, sitting in his seat, and looked over at Jungkook who looked like he wanted to run away from the office. “Mind telling me why you were intended to be a brat?” He asked and leaned back on the headrest, tapping on the table slowly while patiently waiting for a reply. 

“I…” 

“You,”

“I don't know…” Jungkook admitted, he wasn’t being nervous or scared per se. He just couldn’t think of how to answer Jimin's question because as far as he knew he did it purposely to piss off the older one. That was evident. Nonetheless, he doesn’t know why he wanted to do it.  

Jimin hummed, not speaking anything further as he eyed the younger. He watched Jungkook clasp his hands together and sometimes fidget them.

“You’re grounded. No field activity for a week. Dismissed.” Jimin stated shortly and Jungkook snapped his head at the order. That was not the punishment he looked forward to. First, he couldn’t Bookout, and now, grounded. If it weren't the field then where else could he go? It was a bit unfair for him to receive this while he was only a bit late. 

“What?”

“Did I stutter?”

“You can’t ground me for a week, when will I get to practice the formation then?” Jungkook argued but didn't raise his voice.

“It’s not an option.”

“That is unfair!” 

“I thought you didn't care about the formation considering you arrived late earlier.” Jimin deadpanned, making the younger’s mouth sealed. Half of the statement was true, Jungkook couldn’t deny that. He has little to no care about the practice, then why is he arguing? Over what? Over nothing? 

Their conversation was interrupted when Jungkook’s phone rang. He quickly reached it out of his pocket and saw his favorite contact name. However, at the moment, he felt pressured by it and without thinking further he declined the call before focusing on Jimin again. He would call Min-Ha back later, but now wasn't the time for it. Jungkook noted to himself. 

Unaware of the tiny changes. 

“What? Am I wrong?” Jimin asked after some time when Jungkook remained silent.

“You aren’t…” 

“Then?” 

It stuck to Jungkook what all of these were about. From the moment he chose to eat slowly, to the point he arrived late at the field. He knew this all along but he just wasn’t ready to admit it. No, he doesn't even want to. Even now, in this office, Jungkook kept it unspoken. 

“You just want my attention, aren't you…” 

But it is wrong. 

“Hm? Is this what it’s all about, Darling?” 

No… it can’t be.

Jungkook was startled when he heard Jimin stood up and walked towards him. But unlike before, he didn't move an inch. He stilled in his foot and watched the older who became near each second. Heartbeat screaming… Hardly breathing… Jungkook didn't know what had happened to him. All of these unknown feelings rushed in his veins. It’s sweet, it's sickening. 

His hands quivered slightly when he felt Jimin’s fingers touch his chin, burning his skin with every encounter, and leaving sin marks behind. Soon his head was tilted forward as his eyes met into the older’s, pulling him into the black void with no way to get out… Trapped. 

“Answer me, Darling,” Jimin spoke up, softly, yet it was haunting. 

“I…” Jungkook trailed off, not knowing what to say. But the older one didn't urge him either, looking into his eyes patiently and saying nothing afterward. He was sure even without any words spoken, Jimin already knew what was happening. The only difference is that he had no problem with it.

On the contrary, Jungkook has every problem with it. 

Jungkook closed his eyes when Jimin leaned closer. He focused on the feeling of the other’s mouth brushing his neck slowly, to his chin, and his left cheek before carefully over his lips. His breath hitched in anticipation, waiting for Jimin to just drop the teasing and kiss him already. 

But instead, the older man backed away just a little, making Jungkook open his eyes at the sudden loss. He knew it was bad, but it felt so good. “I hate you.” He muttered truthfully as Jimin chuckled at that before slipping his veiny hand to hold the younger’s nape in a strong grip.

“Kiss me like you mean it.” 

Jungkook didn't think further before closing his eyes and crashing his lips against Jimin’s, feeling the soft feather-like surface of its skin. Despite the delicateness, the kiss was intense and desperate, tongues dancing around as he wound his hands around Jimin’s neck possessively. Jungkook’s fingers ran through the coarseness of the older’s hair as if to say this is mine, or I want this to be mine and this will be mine. 

The kiss, it’s like swimming in molasses, the kiss, it’s like being dipped in gold. It’s like diving into an ocean of emotion and Jungkook was too swept up in the current to realize he was drowning and nothing even mattered anymore. Not Jimin’s traces that never-ending leaving sins, not the room that isn’t entirely his, nor the war they are supposed to be fighting, not his worries about who or what they are and what they might become. 

This is the only thing that matters.

This.

This moment. These lips. The strong body pressed against him and these firm hands found a way to bring him closer and that was when Jungkook knew he wanted so much more of Jimin.

And he also knew it was wrong. 

His head snapped at the thought and broke the kiss. He pushed Jimin and stepped away instantly, covering his mouth as if he just realized what he had done. “I- I’m sorry.” He stuttered and wasted no time exiting the room, running away to nowhere. He doesn’t want to stop, he needs to leave this place, he can’t live here. 

‘Jungkook, what have you done?’ He asked himself, legs still dashing to wherever they brought him. Suddenly, everything came across as unfamiliar, every face and spot seemed unknown to him, and every smell and scene appeared unusual. Before he acknowledged it, his view blurred as he reached the field. 

Breathless, he glanced around and saw that everyone was giving him a worried look. But to Jungkook, it was nothing but disgusting. He had kissed a man while his heart belonged to another. And not just a random man, a man that he claimed to hate with all of his heart. 

So he ran. He ran until his legs felt weary, he ran until his heart stammered, he ran until his skin was drenched in sweat, to the point his body was exhausted.

Yet his mind did not once forget Jimin. 

It was night by the time he reached the dorm, plopping himself on the double-decker, and felt how stiff the mattress embraced him. His undereyes were red from how long he had cried, his cheeks were damp and his hair was messy. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth when he saw the picture of Min-Ha hanging from the upper bed, trying to hold on to his tears 

He put it there because he missed her every time. He loved her, truly. 

But what has happened now? 

He held out his hand, taking the picture as sorrow and regret filled his veins again. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he was supposed to love Min-Ha, and he was supposed to stay loyal to her. “I’m sorry…” He mumbled, brushing the image of her even though he couldn’t see anything clearly. It wasn’t the kiss that he couldn't get over with, it was the truth he discovered he had something more for Jimin. 

And it’s a sin he can’t bear. 

His thoughts were broken when his phone rang. Knowing who it was, he quickly picked up the call, only for his tears to fall out further in silence. 

‘Hello? Gguk? Are you okay?’ Min-Ha asked after a while, concern filled her voice not knowing the action was killing Jungkook. He took a deep breath, not wanting to cause any suspicions. 

“Y-yeah! I am… what’s wrong, why do you call?”

‘What do you mean, so you thought I would only call you if something went wrong?’ Min-Ha teased and laughed at her own joke. But it was bad, too bad to the point Jungkook sobbed. 

He had ruined something precious. 

‘Wait- are you crying, dear? Why are you crying, hey…’ Panic evidently heard in her voice while he could only shut his eyes, unable to stop from crying as it turned out to be muffled noises. 

‘Hey… I love you, please don’t cry.’

That was his last string as he quickly ended the call and threw the phone away from him. ‘I don't love her anymore, I don’t love her anymore.’ He chanted inside his head as if it was a nightmare to happen, as if he was unable to believe himself and how much things had switched.

But what was done, is done. 

Neither of them could return the time. 

“N-no, you love her Jungkook. You’re j-just confused.” He whispered. There’s no way he could just unlove Min-Ha and have any feelings toward Jimin right? It was nonsensical. They just got to know each other two weeks ago, and even then, all they did was argue. It was impossible, he knew nothing about the older nor did the other know anything about him. 

Jungkook took a deep breath, trying to disengage the clouds that were building inside his storming mind. There’s a blurry line in his heart and Jimin was standing on it, unknown and unclear what he meant to Jungkook. But again, he thought it would be better to let it be unidentified. The less he knew, the less the burden. 

“Right. You can do that…” He convinced himself. He was planning to avoid Jimin at all costs and continue to live his life like he did before. Heretofore the older’s arrival, his life was perfect with Min-Ha. He loved her, as he should. All he needed to do was to forget what had happened and continue caring for her while putting aside his feelings.

Whatever these emotions were, Jungkook was sure it would fade soon. After all, he was just confused, nothing more. And the kiss earlier just made things worse by forming blurry lines for Jimin. Certainly, it will be gone after some time and Jungkook will be able to differentiate between his love for Min-Ha and whatever thing he had for Jimin. 

In the meantime, he will stick to loving Min-Ha. 

..༺♡༻..

It's slipping in between the two of us,
And we can feel it grow,
We were a flame that burned all out at once,
Now all that's left is cold.

I know that soon,
We'll have to learn how to live on our own,
You know it too,
We're holding on to what we need to let go.

____________________________________

[A/N: Double updates! A question, should I write proper chapters showing how their relationship changes? Or should I fast-forward it?]

Ps. We're coming to an end...

Vote, comment and share!!

Thank You 💜💜